Warnings! (because you need to be warned): This does not have to do with the plot of Teen Titans, which should be obvious. All (well, most) of the characters will be OOC and, yes, Robin will die. That's a given.
Disclaimer! (because I own nothin'): I do not own Teen Titans. The creation of that goes to... ::looks around:: someone else.
"I wonder where all my so-called friend-creatures have gone." StarFire wondered aloud as she walked through the empty livingroom in Titan Tower. "I hope they did not use the violence against baddies while I thought of floating sheep with my eyes closed. I would be very... uhm..." She paused to concentrate all her energy in finding the right word. "Saddened! Yes, that's it! Saddened." Continuing her pacing search, she still found nothing. "Robin?" She asked, getting on her hands and knees on the disgusting carpet to peer beneath the darkened couch. "Raven?" She searched underneath the glass coffeetable. "Beastboy?" She lifted up the cushions of the La-Z-Boy chair to see. Her searching was abruptely brought to an end when something else obscured her field of vision and drove her missing friends far from her concious. A big smile spread across her face as she saw what lay there. "A Flubby-Dub-Kaboodle! On my planet, these are the greatest of all the Zorflok delictables!" Picking up the dust-bunny covered piece of old doughnut, she popped it into her mouth. She closed her eyes and hummed to herself in sweet serenity. "Del-ih-she-oh-sis!" She said after swallowing. As she tore off the cusions to the chairs and couches in the livingroom looking for more 'Flubby-Dub-Kaboodle', the fellow Titans walked in. Their mouths dropped open as they saw StarFire shoving her face with old food. They all consequently turned green at the sight. They were all about ton so many chunks when...
--PSA: This part of the fanfic has been removed due to explicit and nasty imagery that is not PG. Thank you for your patience.--
"That was disgusting." Raven shuddered.
"No kidding." Cyborg agreed.
"I mean, who would have thought Robin would ever LIVE after being shoved through the stomach with a stake?"
"WHAT!?" They all exclaimed.
"Look." Raven pointed. Robin was indeed shoved through the middle with a wooden stake.
"Hey..." Beastboy said slowly. "Isn't that yours?"
"No..." Raven replied, looking inconspicuously sideways. They all shrugged, not caring either way.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STAR!!!" They all cheered.
"Ooh!" StarFire exclaimed happily, staring at the many candles atop the cake. "Shiny-ness!"
Robin sighed heavily in disgust. "No, no. Not shiny, StarFire. The correct word is 'bright'."
"Oh, like you know." Raven said venomously under her breath, glaring over at Robin. In unison, the Titans looked over at Raven, confiused. She looked inconspicuously up at the ceiling once again. Robin merely ignored her.
"It's so... so... well, it reminds me of these alien bugs that lived on my planet when BlackFire and I were growing up. They had lights in their bottoms and flew around. They were quite... what's the word you would use? Ah. 'Nasty'." Despite what StarFire said about the bugs being nasty, she looked very hungry as she thought about them. This freaked out the Titans slightly-- but not nearly as much as when they had walked in on Star gouging herself with old food in the cushions.
"Well..." Beastboy said uneasily, clearing his throat and breaking the silence. "Shall we... uhm... get started?"
StarFire finally caught on to what was happening around her when they all moved to the table with the birhtday cake. "Today... today is not the anniversary of the day I was born."
"Then when is your birthday, Star?" Cyborg asked. StarFire replied simply,
"It's on a day in a month your calender does not have and a number of which you can not pronounce."
"Which is exactly why," Beastboy said with a smile, pulling out a chair in front of the cake for StarFire to sit in. "we're having it today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
"Happy birthday, Star." Cyborg said.
"Happy birthday." Raven joined in, speaking as happily as she knew how.
"Merry Christmas!" For Robin's childish and poor timing of an outburst (in Raven's point of view), Raven raised her pale lavender skinned hand to slap Robin. Thus he was left with Raven's wooden stake still encompassed within his belly and a cheek red from where he had been struck.
"We weren't really sure how old you were, Star--"
"Oh, it's a num--"
"A number we can't pronounce. Right." Beastboy nodded his head. "I understand. Just make a wish and blow out the candles." StarFire took a deep breath and readied herself to extinguish the flames when she was stopped.
"What's that?" She asked curiously as Robin pulled out a rectangular yellow object that read 'KODAK' on the side.
"A camera." He replied simply. He then snapped a picture and the flash blinded StarFire momentarily. She fell backwards off her chair.
"I'M BLIND!!!!! Evil thing! EVIL! Stop it! Someone!" Raven took it upon herself to destroy the camera with her full strength. Only a minute amount was required and the rest blew Robin backwards against the back wall. He slammed into it hard and ended up cracking the casing before his unconcious body collapsed. The rest of the Titans were struck dumb as they stared at Raven while she landed. Once she had and deminished her powers, they all returned to normal, getting excited over the party and forgetting all about the collapsed Robin the the background.
"I got you a present, Star!" Beastboy said happily. "I hope you like it!"
"Yea," Cyborg muscled in. "I got you a gift. It's GREAT! You'll love it!"
"I got you one too." Raven admitted.
"See? We all got you one! Now can you blow out the candles so we can eat?"
"No more flashing of death?" StarFire asked uneasily, still blinking her eyes excessively to get past the facant blindness.
"No more." Cyborg promised. "Now blow out the candles!" Smiling, StarFire then blew them all out-- all thirty-two of them.
"Yayy!" They all cheered for her.
"Now," StarFire inquired happily. "Is now the time of opening the box-shaped shiny paper objects?"
There was silence around the Teen Titans-- Raven, Cyborg and Beastboy trying to understand what sha had asked, and Robin still unconcious in the back of the scene.
"...If you mean opening the presents," Cyborg said slowly, basing his guess on only what he thought was coming next. "Then... yes. That is what we are doing."
"FUN!!" StarFire said, bouncing up and down in excitement. "I just hope that everyone has brought a Krynon log." she added, as almost an afterthought as she looked at her friends expectantly. They all, in turn, looked back at her, their faces shrouded in confusion.
"A... a 'Krynon log'?" Raven asked, her turn to speak up.
"Yes." StarFire said happily. "You bring a Krynon log to the celebration of the anniversary of somsone's birth and you burn it so everyone can wish for great things in the future to come for that person." Beastboy opened his mouth in an attempt to tell StarFire that there was no such thing as a Krynon log on Earth, when Cyborg interrupted.
"Sorry, Star." he said. "We looked throughout the store and they were all out. We couldn't find one anywhere. Sorry."
"Oh..." StarFire said, her head bowing. She looked disappointed. In another attempt, Beastboy tired to brighten her up.
"We can still open the presents."
That did the trick. Lifting her head, they all found a bright smile perched on her lips. "Let's begin then."
"Ooh! I wanna go first!" Cyborg said excitedly. He whipped out a box from behind him and handed it to her. Beaming, Star reached for it and opened it up.
"Pretty!" She exclaimed, air-headingly not realizing what it was. Raven understood and sneered. It was a car engine. Cyborg looked mighty pleased with himself, puffing out his chest in glorious admiration for his handywork. "Thank you." He said, taking all the credit. "I made it myself. I hope you will find it to your liking."
"I will!" StarFire said happily, beaming at Cyborg. "Thank you so much." His entire face, even his machined side turned red with blushing happiness.
"The next one's from me." Beastboy said happily. He handed StarFire a box as well. When she opened it, her face lit up. "Organax! Liquis! Margaham!"
"What!?" Beastboy exclaimed. He grabbed the box back from StarFire and looked inside it. Sighing in half-relief and half-disgust, he tossed the box back to the air-headed girl. "That's tofu and organic supplements and falaffles! No... whatever you said!"
"No, no." StarFire said, laughing lightly and shaking her head. "Those are what they are called on my planet."
"Well, we're not on your planet. Are we?" Beastboy retorted, huffily throwing himself onto the couch. StarFire, not noticing that Beastboy was in a bad mood, then placed his present next to her on the couch and waited for Raven's.
Raven stepped close to StarFire and, from within her dark blue cloak, removed the present she had wished to give to Star. "Tarot cards." She said mysteriously.
"Tarot cards?" StarFire asked happily. She reached out to take them from Raven, but Raven pulled her hand away.
"Yes," she repeated. "Tarot cards." Holding the deck out on her palm, she then shuffled them before placing them close to StarFire. "Take whichever one you chose." She said calmly. "It will tell your immediate future." Gulping, lost in the atmsophere, StarFire picked one card and then handed it to Raven for her to read her fortune. "Death." Raven said cooly.
"De... death?" StarFire gulped again.
"But not for you." Raven said. StarFire looked relieved. "For someone else." While saying the word 'else' she then turned to look beside her, where the now-concious Robin had crawled over to them. She kicked him in the head and he collapsed again. Raven then lifted her lavender eyes to look at her fellow Titans and saw, once again, their confused and wondering stare. Why did that girl continually beat on Robin? Raven merely shook her head and said simply, "Reflex." All believing her, they continued on.
"Is that it?" StarFire asked. "No more presents?"
"Doesn't look like there is." Beastboy said.
"Wait!" All the Titans turned to look at two shadows getting smaller along the walls as the owners of the shadows came closer. "I'm here!!" It was Terra, followed close behind by Slade, hooked to a leash in Terra's hand, equipped a butch dog collar wrapped around his neck. "Sorry we're late." Terra replied. "This stupid numbskull would not get through the traffic."
"I could not help it, Lady Terra." Slade apologized, his voice strangely lighter and with a East-London British accent. "Those people would not let me pass."
"Whatever." Terra sighed in disgust. "Some bad guy you are. Two-Face and the Joker could get through traffic. Hell, even the Venom would not have any problem. But you can't get through one or two cars. We'll have to blow up more buildings to gain more respect with these insolent fools."
"Terra, remember. We're in a house filled with superheroes."
"Ah, so what?" She asked, sighing in disgust. She tossed the box at StarFire. "Happy birthday." She said monotonelessly. The bad wrapping fell apart and revealed Boggle. StarFire twitched. "Ooh! Tofu!" Terra said happily. She then grabbed the tofu, ripped open the packaging and started to eat it. StarFire twitched some more and glared at the smaller blond-haired 'baddie'. All the Titans looked scared and knew what was about to happen, so they embraced themselves for a big explosion.
StarFire got up from her seat and dangerously made her way over to the blond haired girl eating her tofu. She picked her up by the hair, picked up Slade as well and spun them around her head in record time before letting them fly. They crashed through a window and landed twenty feet down on the ground, outside Titan Tower.
"AND STAY OUT!!! NO ONE EATS MY TOFU! ESPECIALLY NOT SOME BADDIES!!!"
Owari.
Okay, that was dumb. Bad at the end because it's too long and I needed to finish it. Tell me if you liked it!!!