Disclaimer: I don't own the song, it is from Muppet Treasure Island, one of the best movies ever! I don't own the pirates either, darn!
Cabin Fever!
A musical number by the dead pirate crew of the Black Pearl
Their ship left port three weeks ago, and the crew are getting a little restless. In fact, they're going quite insane, seeing as how there has been no wind and they have nothing to do. It's when they least expect it that it strikes, the dreaded cabin fever!
Ragetti was sitting on deck with nothing to do, when his vision started to get all swirly, and he felt a strange sensation taking hold of him! Panicking, he jumps up and starts trying to brush the feeling off of him, shouting, "Oh, no, I got the madness! I got cabin fever!" Pintel jumps up as well, yelling "I've got it too!" The entire crew jumps to their feet and screams as one, "We got cabin fever!" This, of course is followed by an amusing musical number! The dead pirates show off their lovely singing voices as they dance around the deck!
Ragetti:
"I got cabin fever,
It's burning in my brain!"
Pintel:
"I've got cabin fever,
It's driving me insane!"
A group of unknown pirates who are wearing bandanas that flip up and down on their heads:
"We got cabin fever,
We're flipping our bandanas!
Been stuck at sea so long that we have simply gone bananas!"
An extremely portly male pirate has dressed like the Chiquita banana lady, fruit hat and all. He is now shaking maracas while dancing and singing:
"Ah!
Chica, chica, boom!
Chica, chica, boom, boom, chic!
Arriba!
Chica, chica, boom!
Chica, chica, boom, boom, chic!"
All of the pirates sing together:
"We got cabin fever,
we've lost what sense we had!
We got cabin fever,
We're all going mad!"
A pirate with a fiddle and cowboy hat now sings to couples who are square dancing, and following his instructions:
"Grab your partner by the ears,
Lash him to the wheel!
Do-si-do, step on his toe,
Listen to him squeal!
Allemande left, allemande right,
It's time to sail or sink!
Swing your partner over the side,
Drop him in the drink!"
We hear several splashes as many unfortunate dancers are tossed overboard by their partners.
All of the pirates:
"We got cabin fever,
No if's, and's or but's,
We're disoriented, and demented, and a little nuts!"
Pintel and Ragetti are now dressed in lederhosen and are sitting with a goat. Pintel is playing the accordion and they both sing in extremely fake German accents:
Ach du liebe Volkswagen car!
(Yodel-lay-ee-hoo! Ragetti yodels)
Sauerbraten wiener schnitzel,
Und a wunder bar!
(Yodel-lay-ee-hoo!)
Another group of random pirates who pop out ofcoffins:
"We were sailing, sailing,
the wind was on our side.
And then it died!"
Jack the monkey is now singing:
"I've got cabin fever,
I think I've lost my grip!
I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script!"
Bo'sun has now donned a lovely pink gown with a matching parasol, and he twirls it as he shakes his butt from side to side and sings in a high falsetto voice:
"I was floating 'neath a tropic moon,
And dreaming of a blue lagoon.
Now I'm crazy as a loon! Hahaha!"
All of the pirates in various costumes are now together and waving back and forth and brilliant lights flash as they sing:
"Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard!
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward!
We were sailing, sailing,
Headed who knows where.
And now though we're all here,
We're not all there!"
They form a conga line all across the deck as a few dance randomly on various masts and railings.
"Arriba! Cabin fever!
Ahh!"
"Look," a random pirate says, the wind's come back!" A strong breeze suddenly fills the sails of the ship, and everything goes back to normal, no costumes, lights, music, or goats. Everyone walks away to do their jobs, some looking confused.Bo'sun is heard muttering, "I feel like such a fool!"
Below deck, in the captain's dining quarters, Elizabeth looks up to the ceiling questioningly. "What was that song that just happened?" she asks Captain Barbossa. "What?" he asks her. "You know," she said, "That, Cabin fever! Ahh! That song." He looks at her as if she is quite insane and says, "Miss Turner, I think you're startin' to go crackers!"