A/N: Well, right now I'm writing this on paper, totally bored. What fun! ::rolls eyes::

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I would be typing this on the newest computer, not the one I am actually typing this on.

Chapter 10

Do you know what the most ironic thing about being the son of the Dark Lord, and waking up in a bed after some of his servants kids shoved me down some stairs in his manor, hoping that it would kill me, simply because I pranked them? The fact that the sheets were white.

I'm serious. To me that's really ironic. He's not only a DARK wizard, but he's also the DARK Lord with a load of DARK wizards and witches serving him. So, I ask you, what are dark colours? Colours like black and navy are dark colours. Hell, a lot of shades of most colours are dark colours. But is white a dark colour? No. And it really annoys me.

Never mind the fact that white is a really easy colour to tell when it's mucky, and therefore dangerous to anyone who is ill, it still isn't a dark colour, which isn't at all fitting for my father's 'big, badass dark wizard' image. And I hate the colour white. The whole 'it isn't a colour, it's a shade thing' has been pitched to me way too many times.

"You took your time waking up."

I jumped as I heard my father's voice. Damn he's creepy, with the whole screeching high pitched thing. It always makes my skin crawl. I think he deliberately speaks like that, you know, because he realises how much it gets on everyone's nerves.

"So?" I asked him, not really caring.

"So you have to be back at Hogwarts tomorrow."

I hadn't looked at him until this point in time. Now I did. I glared full out at him wishing he had been drowned at birth... On second thoughts, maybe not at birth, considering the fact that I wouldn't have been born if that happened, but maybe about eight months after my contraception. Yeah! That works! Then I'd still be alive and would get to meet my mother!

"I still have to go back there?" I asked, distaste clear on my voice.

"Yes," he said firmly, and I could tell this was going to be an interesting conversation.

"Why?" I challenged him.

"Because I said so." Hah! What a weak excuse. Everyone uses it all the time!

"That's not a reason," I simply stated. At this point he started to get pissed off.

"Fine," he growled. "If you don't go back to Hogwarts and stay there for the rest of the year you will not be learning anymore Dark Arts."

I scowled at him. He's a total prick. How was I supposed to kill the Dursleys now?! Well, I suppose I could use poison, or even muggle methods... Like a knife in the back, or a chainsaw taking off their heads, or death by vending machine, or maybe I could strangle them with clothes, or... well, now I'm getting a bit creative with my ways of killing without magic. It's fun.

"And don't even think about killing those muggles in a muggle way!"

Dammit, how did he know what I was thinking?

"Fine," I spat out, when I realised I was not going to win any argument anytime soon. "I'll go back and stay for the rest of the year. Though why you're forcing me to be around Dumbledore is beyond me."

My dad gave a wry smile, which looked odd on his snake-like face.

"Because I like watching you suffer."

He turned to leave the room. Damn him! Why does he have to be so fucking annoying?!

"Oh, and by tradition, one day every seven years the parents of the students of Hogwarts all go to the school for a day. And this is the seventh year since the last one."

My father glided out of the room, leaving me gaping for a moment, then I realised what it would mean. If Hogwarts was to open it's doors to the parents of the students, then dear Old Dad would go, and that would mean possible torture for, well, everyone. It was gonna be great! I was positive of it!

A/N: Dammit! So short! I hate this! Why is it I only seem to be able to get out short chapters all of a sudden?! Oh well, it'll end soon. I hope.

BalrogMan65: Yayayayayayayay! I'm on the council! I'm on the council! Which is a good thing because I know what the council is now!

HecateDeMort, Nordik: Thanks!

Shadowface: Harry? Good at passing the blame? Well, the entire world is against him, so it can't be too hard.

Ciara: Yeah, Teletubbies is much worse than Barney, fortunately I don't know any of the words to song at the beginning (I'm assuming it has words too). And what I was on about you learning was where, in a review with the Barney torture you missed where Harry got the howler, but then went back and read it after you sent the review.

ironic-humour: Okay, sadistic humour. That sounds about right. Because a lot of it is kinda sadistic.

LadyRaven13: Good, I just like to get the point across that Voldemort is incredibly cruel.

HAZZAGRIFF: You forgot about effing? Effing's the closest the books have come to swearing! How can you forget!

Nexus3: Um, no I didn't. The humour has just, kind of, crept in when I wasn't looking. And, to be honest, when I was writing it I honestly didn't think it was funny, I only do when I go back and read it sometimes.

Crouchintiger: Lol, thanks. Now that I think about it, Evil!Harry humour is pretty rare.

Blackhand/Exzlayer: Yay!

Marvin the Depressed Robot(42: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Jeztwo: Why thank you!"