Something to Regret – Chapter Four
It was tricky but Sirius finally found himself at Snape's dungeon quarters, not only was it nearly impossible to find but Filch and that damned cat of his seemed to be everywhere at once. Sirius reached out and turned the door handle slowly, quietly.
It was locked; he smirked faintly as he pulled out his wand, whispering "Alohomora".
The door made a small click sound and it was open. Sirius slowly made his way into the dank dark room full of jars of odd things, very much like Snape's office. He walked very slowly and very quietly for he knew that Snape would likely try to kill him for coming in here.
Sirius' eyes skimmed the room for any movement but instead he found himself looking upon a sleeping Severus, empty jar of sleeping potion at his side. Sirius frowned as he quietly sat himself down on the corner of Severus' bed, careful not to wake him.
He had learned along time ago from Snape's tutoring sessions with him that certain ingredients of the sleeping potion were essentially very dangerous in large quantities, more specifically the asphodel and wormwood(1) and it looked as though Severus had drained the entire jar of potion at once.
The only thing that Sirius could think was that this was his fault, he wondered how long this had been going on, how long Snape had been slowly killing himself.
Severus looked like a beautiful, dieing angel, no expression clouded his face, no sneer, no mocking anger, he looked so peaceful and yet in so much pain.
"I'm sorry Severus if I had only known" he whispered to his sleeping angel. "If I had known I would have never let it happen. I'm going to fucking kill that Malfoy idiot for what he did to you."
"What a kind sentiment Black, though I don't think I'm worth going back to Azkaban for." Snape said groggily, slowly sitting up making Sirius jump to his feet.
"You're awake" Sirius said questioningly staring towards the empty potion bottle.
"Mind your own business Black" Snape barked as he quickly disposed of the bottle. "Now what are you doing here!?" Severus demanded "I thought I made it perfectly clear you weren't to come near me Black! Let alone sneaking into my personal quarters in the middle of the night" he yelled furiously.
"I was speaking with Dumbledore, he told me-"
"Oh so he told you did he?! Come to apologize have you!?" Snape hissed, sneer set firmly in place.
"Yes I have" Sirius stated.
The room went quiet, Severus looked shocked and disgusted.
"How could you possibly think that your pitiful apology would make any difference!?" Snape snapped.
"Because" Sirius said, walking up to Severus and placing a single hand on his shoulder. "Even with our so called hatred for each other all this time, I am still in love with you and it hurts me to know your in pain" Sirius said leaving Severus thunderstruck, such kind words had not been spoken to him for a very long time.
Severus scrambled backwards trying to get away, so many emotions passed over his face weather he wanted them to or not.
Sirius moved closer, "I know that there's not much I can do to make it better between us I just hope you understand that I'm always here, if you need anything, ever, no matter what it is, do not hesitate. I wasn't there when you needed me most and it cost all too much" Sirius said as Snape glared fiercely.
Sirius looked at him with heart felt eyes, then slowly planted a small kiss upon Severus' smooth lips. It was a small kiss lasting a minute amount of time and yet it said so much. Sirius found no a good time to retreat, before Severus decided to kill him, but to Sirius' surprise he did not seem angry.
Severus reached forward and pulled Sirius into a timid yet searing kiss.
Godric he missed this, the taste the smell, tongues exploring tasting, neither dominate nor submissive, just demanding. Severus slowly pulled away ending the kiss, this time it was Sirius who was shocked.
"Severus?" he questioned.
"I used to love you" Severus said "I don't know if I still do."
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(1) Asphodel and Wormwood are the key ingredients to a sleeping potion. They are potentially very dangerous for if the potion is not brewed carefully it could create the Draught of Living Death instead.