Chapter Four - Worm
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I am a simple cow
Living a simple life
But sometimes I feel exploited
Ireland will never be free until
I can marry my brother.
(Dylan Moran)
A grotesque circle of Goblins surrounded the new prisoner with curiosity. Rik recoiled with fear and disgust as he discovered that these guys nearly smelt as bad as Vivian's socks. Then there was their King to consider who was laughing at him and looked as though his sides were about to split.
"You! Take me home right now!" Rik shouted.
"Ah! No can do, amigo, you're stuck here!" said a rather tiny Goblin with a Mexican accent.
"Rodriguez's right." Jareth admitted "Unless your friends get here in....oh twelve hours and seven minutes, you're stuck here. And I will take great pleasure in personally turning you into one of my Goblin minions. Not that the transformation will be very hard!" at this point he laughed maniacally at his own joke and after a threatening glare or two the Goblins followed suit.
"You can't do that to me!" shouted Rik "That's an abuse of my human rights! That's just the sort of thing that Thatcher would do! Your nothing but a bloody fascist!"
The Goblin King smirked evilly at him "True. But I don't see you in a position to do anything about it. This is a different world, your pathetic little student politics don't work here or anywhere for that matter."
"This is repression!" screamed Rik "I'll fight you every step of the way!"
"I'm bored of you now." Jareth drawled and waved a hand lazily at one of the Goblin guards "Take him away!"
"Take him where, your Majesty?" said the Goblin.
"To the dungeon you idiot!" the Goblin King sighed "Well, go on. Hop to it!"
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"What do you mean, Labyrinth?" cried Mike with frustration "It just goes on and on!"
They had been walking for what seemed like hours now and were getting seriously pissed off. Even Neil, who was generally a passive, peace-loving kind of guy, was beginning to lose his rag.
"Yeah! This is really heavy man!" he said.
"'Allo." said an unfamiliar voice.
"Who said that?" said Vivian. "Special Patrol Group, was that you?"
"Ach no! It was the wee wormy thingy on that wall over there." said the hideously over-weight hamster.
"'Allo." said the voice again.
"Are you a worm?" said Mike.
"Yeah s'right!" said the little worm happily. "Though ya might like to know that there's an opening right in front of you that'll get you straight to the castle."
"Where?" said Vivan sceptically and began searching.
"Hey! Thanks man. That was really helpful." said Neil.
"Er...I believe Hoggle said you gave him twenty quid...." said the worm insistently.
"Oh! Fine!" Mike grumbled and coughed up. "I'll be broke by the time we get out of here."
Just then Vivian got tired of searching for the opening and head-butted the wall angrily and created a gigantic hole with dust and rubble flying everywhere.
"Hey! Guys! I found the way to the castle! We can just break our way through!" he called back happily.
"Hey! Nice one Viv." said Mike and quickly swiped back the twenty pound note.
"Sorry wormy boy, better luck next time."
"Viv! Didn't you hurt yourself on that wall?" asked Neil worriedly.
"Nah! They're only made of polystyrene." said Vivian and quickly continued his destructive journey through the walls towards the castle...