Chapter Six - Piece of Cake!
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"Where are we?" Neil's voice echoed through the darkness.
"Elementary my dear Hippie." said Vivian with an exaggerated Sherlock Holmes accent "It appears we are in rather a tight spot. A dungeon, I believe."
"Oh heavy!"
"Erm...guys. Who's touching my leg?" said Mike blindly. "You might be thinking it's your leg what with the dark and all but it's actually mine."
"Not me." said Neil.
"Not me!" said Vivian hastily.
"Then there's someone else in here with us!!" cried Mike "Who's there?"
"Me." said a gruff voice and a flame sparked in the corner lighting a candle. It was that dwarf from earlier.
"Oh it's you!" cried Neil. "So you were the one touching Mike."
"You poof!" said Vivian disdainfully.
"Actually, I was just tryin' ta pick his pocket." Hoggle explained. "I should've gone for the jacket cause all I gots was an expired condom and some Murray mints."
"Remind me say no next time you offer me a Murray mint, Mike." said Neil.
"Anyway, what you guys need to do is get out of here." said Hoggle bluntly "Another twenty quid should do it."
"No way! I'm not giving you anymore money, little man." shouted Mike. "I need this money for my educational needs, and to pay off my gambling debts, but mostly for educational needs."
"Well, if yous lot want to get out of this oubliette on your own, be my guest." said Hoggle sarcastically.
"All right!" said Vivian happily and head butted another wall. A whole section of it came crashing down to reveal an underground passage. "There we go."
"I give up!" shouted Hoggle and stomped off.
"Oh come on! Don't get all sulky on us." said Mike and followed him through the hole.
"Yeah!" said Neil "Can't we all be friends?"
The little dwarf carried on through a series of tunnels with strange faces carved in the rock.
"Whoa! The walls are like talking to me, man." said Neil.
"Yeah, they do that sometimes." said Hoggle after he'd cooled down a little from his temper tantrum. "Did you mean what you said. About being friends?"
"Sure." said Mike.
"Yeah, man." said Neil.
"If you like." said Vivian.
"Wow! Three new friends in one day." said Hoggle happily. It was truly a beautiful moment that was somewhat ruined by the flawless crystal orb that was rolling along the floor. The guys followed it unwittingly until it broke all laws of physics and jumped into a pot that a blind beggar was holding.
"Whoa!" said Neil.
"Oh fuck not again!" cried Hoggle. "Come on Jareth, we know it's you!"
"Someone say my name?" said a smooth voice from behind them. They all jumped and looked around to see the Goblin King in all glory leaning against a wall.
"Huh?" the group said.
"I never do the same trick twice." Jareth explained.
"That who's that?!" cried Hoggle pointing to the beggar.
"That's Billy the Blind Beggar. And don't try stealing his change cause that man's got a mean punch on him." said the Goblin King.
"Oh." said Vivian and immediately dropped the pennies he'd taken.
"And how about you guys?" said Jareth with a sneer "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"
"Piece of cake." said Mike.
"Easy peasy." said Vivian.
"Lovely architecture." said Neil.
"Bloody hippie!"
"Really?" said Jareth and cocked an eyebrow "Then you wouldn't mind if I docked a few hours of your time limit." and a clock appeared on the wall in front of them. They only had six hours left!
"Oh man! That's like really heavy!" whined Neil.
"You say that so often." said Jareth "I wonder what your basis for comparison is." he paused thoughtfully. "If you think this is heavy, hippie, then get a load of this!"
And he disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. When the lads and Hoggle had stopped coughing they realised to their horror that the exits had been sealed off and the ceiling was getting steadily lower...
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"Where are we?" Neil's voice echoed through the darkness.
"Elementary my dear Hippie." said Vivian with an exaggerated Sherlock Holmes accent "It appears we are in rather a tight spot. A dungeon, I believe."
"Oh heavy!"
"Erm...guys. Who's touching my leg?" said Mike blindly. "You might be thinking it's your leg what with the dark and all but it's actually mine."
"Not me." said Neil.
"Not me!" said Vivian hastily.
"Then there's someone else in here with us!!" cried Mike "Who's there?"
"Me." said a gruff voice and a flame sparked in the corner lighting a candle. It was that dwarf from earlier.
"Oh it's you!" cried Neil. "So you were the one touching Mike."
"You poof!" said Vivian disdainfully.
"Actually, I was just tryin' ta pick his pocket." Hoggle explained. "I should've gone for the jacket cause all I gots was an expired condom and some Murray mints."
"Remind me say no next time you offer me a Murray mint, Mike." said Neil.
"Anyway, what you guys need to do is get out of here." said Hoggle bluntly "Another twenty quid should do it."
"No way! I'm not giving you anymore money, little man." shouted Mike. "I need this money for my educational needs, and to pay off my gambling debts, but mostly for educational needs."
"Well, if yous lot want to get out of this oubliette on your own, be my guest." said Hoggle sarcastically.
"All right!" said Vivian happily and head butted another wall. A whole section of it came crashing down to reveal an underground passage. "There we go."
"I give up!" shouted Hoggle and stomped off.
"Oh come on! Don't get all sulky on us." said Mike and followed him through the hole.
"Yeah!" said Neil "Can't we all be friends?"
The little dwarf carried on through a series of tunnels with strange faces carved in the rock.
"Whoa! The walls are like talking to me, man." said Neil.
"Yeah, they do that sometimes." said Hoggle after he'd cooled down a little from his temper tantrum. "Did you mean what you said. About being friends?"
"Sure." said Mike.
"Yeah, man." said Neil.
"If you like." said Vivian.
"Wow! Three new friends in one day." said Hoggle happily. It was truly a beautiful moment that was somewhat ruined by the flawless crystal orb that was rolling along the floor. The guys followed it unwittingly until it broke all laws of physics and jumped into a pot that a blind beggar was holding.
"Whoa!" said Neil.
"Oh fuck not again!" cried Hoggle. "Come on Jareth, we know it's you!"
"Someone say my name?" said a smooth voice from behind them. They all jumped and looked around to see the Goblin King in all glory leaning against a wall.
"Huh?" the group said.
"I never do the same trick twice." Jareth explained.
"That who's that?!" cried Hoggle pointing to the beggar.
"That's Billy the Blind Beggar. And don't try stealing his change cause that man's got a mean punch on him." said the Goblin King.
"Oh." said Vivian and immediately dropped the pennies he'd taken.
"And how about you guys?" said Jareth with a sneer "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"
"Piece of cake." said Mike.
"Easy peasy." said Vivian.
"Lovely architecture." said Neil.
"Bloody hippie!"
"Really?" said Jareth and cocked an eyebrow "Then you wouldn't mind if I docked a few hours of your time limit." and a clock appeared on the wall in front of them. They only had six hours left!
"Oh man! That's like really heavy!" whined Neil.
"You say that so often." said Jareth "I wonder what your basis for comparison is." he paused thoughtfully. "If you think this is heavy, hippie, then get a load of this!"
And he disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. When the lads and Hoggle had stopped coughing they realised to their horror that the exits had been sealed off and the ceiling was getting steadily lower...