Filia sat herself down upon a rock of appropriate size, concentrating all her will on the 10 Second method the Dragon Elders had taught her when she was young. Inhale, hold for ichi, ni, san, chi, go, roku, shichi, hachi, kyu, juu..! And your anger will be gone. If not, repeat, holding your breath for 60 seconds. By then, even if the anger's not gone, you'll be too busy dying of asphyxia to care.

Xelloss sat opposite to her in lotus on the ground, very amused with how this scenario was playing itself out. Really, things were moving quick. The attempt at murdering had wound her nearly completely down. Who knew? Soon, perhaps they'd actually get on with the story. (Yeah, get on with the damn story, already! Alright, people, hold your dragons! –Ish')

"Alright, Xelloss. I'm ready to hear you out." And ready to rip that smirk off your face in a record .31 seconds if this isn't good, she thought, exhaling deeply and straightening her posture.

Xelloss's face took on an expressive thoughtfulness. "Well, let me see..just where do I begin with this.."

The Vein painfully throbbed in Filia's forehead. As usual, Xelloss never failed to disappoint when it came to telling a simple story. "Just start from the beginning, Xelloss."

"Well, that's rather hard to, as it just sort of happened.."

"Just give me a jist of the situation, Xelloss."

"Mm..it's so complicated in a way that it's hard to explain.."

A contemplative rub of the chin. A ruthless throb of the Vein.

"I'm asking only for the basics, Xelloss."

"I know, there's a lot to consider though.."

"Bare bones, Xelloss."

"They're tasty bones, to be sure, but.."

"XELLOSS!"

"OKAY, OKAY! LINA AND THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE BY A GIANT SLUG!"

The mace didn't even make it with a foot of the Mazoku, who had been prepared with his hands covering his head to ward off the blow.

"Wha-a-a?" Filia dropped onto her knees beside him, utterly his captive audience.

Xelloss then abruptly found his passion. He felt and he knew, oh did he know that nothing could ever surpass the weight and gravity of this single moment. These remarkable seconds would be imprinted into his mind for all eternity. It was as though everything he had done, everything he had said had been leading up to this very conclusion, this paramount of all epiphanies. It was a beautiful moment and the calling of his life.

Of course, until he set up another significant occasion like this. However, it wasn't the time to be thinking of that. Stand and deliver! He took one shaky breath and began to pour out his tale and into his tale, his heart.

"It all happened so fast..they were heading to a fast food joint for a cornucopia, y'know, just a small snack and suddenly the sky went dark, as though night had come like a storm over the city. People were screaming every where, everything so rushed it's like a blur.. They didn't have a chance, Filia. It was over in less than a minute." He took a moment to let the lump in his throat loosen, as his eyes began to sparkle of tears. "Lina, she was..out of her mind with fright, clinging to Gourry's head like a barnacle. Zelgadis was struck dumb like a stone, well..not that he's much different most of the time..and Amelia..just..just.."

He broke down into sobs, tears and snot mixing as one into a pathetic heaping mess upon Filia. Motherly instincts taking hold, she drew him into a consoling embrace, patting his back and trying to calm him down, murmuring soothingly to comfort him.

"There, there..it's alright, Xelloss, you did everything you could–" She stopped as though a knife had been stabbed into her back. "..You did do everything in your power, right, Xelloss?"

He looked up from her shoulder, no tears or even color in his face as evidence of his apparently hysterical distress.

"Well, Filia, you know my policy of remaining the uninvolved observer during these situations. Someone's has to report to you, you know."

"NAMAGOMI!"

He sighed, parrying her elbow smash to his head. "Yes, Filia, of course, I did everything in my power to try and save them. Honestly though, it happened quite fast. That slug deserves a medal of honor for the act he pulled off."

"Hmph!" She rose, throwing off the hand on her elbow and brushing off her knees.

"I would have thought a strong, high ranking Mazoku such as yourself capable of handling just one giant slug, even a giant slug among slugs, as this one appears to be." She shot him a penetrating glare.

He bowed slightly. "Truly, this was a giant slug among slugs. I assure you, there was little I could."

Filia growled in her throat, sure of his treachery. Giant slugs, my teapot. Even if one actually did appear in the city where she left Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis to roam and plunder, there would be no reason for it to take them hostage. And Xelloss, while perhaps preferring not to fight giant slugs of admirable skill, certainly could have defeated it. She sighed. Another peaceful moment of her life, shattered like the delicate happiness it was.

"Tell me, Xelloss," she asked, turning her attention towards him once more, still sitting upon the ground. "What kind of giant slug goes into a huge, bustling city, finds a group of four traveling mercenaries, kidnaps them, and manages to get completely away with all this, in front of you?"

His innocent smile was as crooked as a snake's to Filia. "I shall always fondly remember such a slug. For a moment, I shared Miss Lina's absolute fear of them and was frozen to my spot."

"Which was probably atop some roof, where you devoured the whole scene like a bag of candy." His smile widened and she groaned, but refrained from giving him the satisfaction of her proclamation of anguish. "Well, I suppose that settles it. I shall have to rescue Miss Lina and her company from the clutches of this terrible slug. Good day, Xelloss, I hope you have a lovely time wrecking someone else's vacation while I'm gone." She started the way of the path she had created on the dusty outskirts of the town, only to be stopped by the priest a moment later.

"Now, Filia, you're really going to go all that way to the city where they were kidnaped to follow the sticky trail of the giant slug?"

She squared him off with an icy look. "Like I've got other options?"

He leaned in closer than was comfortable to Filia, who took a step back in response. "I took the liberty of tracking the creature to its lair."

"Many..thanks, Xelloss. If you could just draw me a simple map of where it's located, I would be most obliged. Excuse me." She made to walk past him, but he stopped her again.

"Are you not curious as to why you cannot transform?"

She eyed him warily. First off, he was being too nice and helpful to not be suspicious and secondly, what did he know about her not being able to transform?

"I was going to deal with that later, but if you have any ideas as to why I can't.."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Sore wa himitsu desu."

Filia fell over in exasperation before popping up once more to assume a menacing pose.

"YOU LITTLE MAZOKU PIECE OF.."

"Now, now, Filia, no need to be so angry all the time. And incidentally, I won't be drawing a map for you."

"How do you expect me to find it otherwise, Nam–," She caught her tongue. "–Xelloss?" Time to try playing nice to get what you want.

He gave her his "Filia Special" look. "You'll find it. Head south." He began to vanish, but she grabbed his arm before he managed to leave completely.

She swallowed nervously, pulling back her arm the moment she touched him. "Just about my, you. You won't let it get around, will you? It was merely..the moment.."

Xelloss smiled reassuringly. "Every detail." He was gone.

And Filia didn't trust him as far as she could throw him.

...ooooooooooooooooooo...(it's my cut - sorry, I can't find anything else to use!)

Tra-la-la! I'm back in business, folks! After 2, 3? years, I've got a storyline figured out and am raring to please.

I would love it if you guys point out anything that bothered you when reading this fic. My writing style, major out of character-ness (I admit, there's some, but you're going to get that with any author), etc.. See, I'm writing the fic for two reasons: One, because I adore Xelloss tormenting Filia, and two, because I need work on my writing. And, really, what better place to do the latter?

So, yes, flames are accepted, if they're constructive. No 'Well, I just don't like it!'s. If you do start a review with that sentence (give or take a few words), please include why.

And speaking of my lovely reviewers, I got some feedback for you!

...ooooooooooooooooooo...

Rue-chan: You have suffered. I ought to be tortured. Can we settle it with this chapter and a friendly handshake? Eheh..

DemonPhoenix9: I've got the excuse for Filia's not being able to transform in mind. Hopefully, it doesn't fall flat on me.. Thanks for the compliments! My ego just inflated 3 inches (and my IQ just dropped 10 points!).

Child-of-the-Dawn: Yep, poor Filia - she gets that 'sore wa himitsu desu' line all the time!

Ruby Hayashi Canadian Elf: Can't refuse a Canadian Elf.

Nobody: I would thank you, but if I said "Thanks, nobody", people'll think I'm talking to myself. Not that I don't already do that. Ahh, hell..Thanks, nobody!

Rachel: Thanks a lot! (With all these nice things said about the fic, I'm getting antsy for a flame!)

Blissa: I got your number, Blissa. And I know your name.

EvilSnickie: Are you insinuating something?

Mistress DragonFlame: Your wish has been my command!