Chapter 9: "I'm the flame I can't get burnt"
"Hey you took Ella this morning?" Ryan asked as Seth handed her to Marissa.
"Yeah. We just hung out in my room a bit." Seth said kissing the top of Ellas head before he went to get his fourth serving of cereal.
Since Kirsten and Sandy had been gone this was the official meal of the Cohen residence. To everyones surprise Ryan got tired of it before Marissa did.
"I think I'm going to head home." Marissa said standing up, Ella in hand.
"Why?" Ryan asked standing up alongside her.
"I have some stuff that I need to finish up. And my dad's not home so there is no chance in him seeing Ella." She headed toward the door.
"Well if you have so much to do why not let Seth and I watch her?" Ryan said smiling suggestively
Marissa shot Ryan a look.
"Yeah, we can." Seth joined in
"But I-"
"How about you let SETH and I watch her?" Ryan said a little bit firmer.
Marissa looked down at Summers little girl that laid in her arms and hoped that her best friend would be able to forgive her.
"Yeah, alright." She said handing Ella back over to Ryan.
"I'll be back in about an hour and a half." Marissa said heading out. Ryan had the feeling that he should follow her but something stopped him.
Marissa fumbled with her keys when she got to the door. Her hands were shaking. Had she done the right thing? Nothing had prepared her for what she saw though when she got inside her apartment…
"Sum?" She said when she saw her best friend on the couch, with her knees wrapped up to her chest.
"Hey Coop." She said not looking up. Marissa couldn't see her face but she could tell from her voice that she was crying.
Marissa hesitated going over to her at first… it had been almost a year. But Summer was still her best friend and she still needed her. Marissa rushed over to Summer and hugged her. Summer began bawling in her arms.
"I'm so sorry Coop." She said
"It's alright Sum." Marissa said kissing the top of her head.
Summer pulled back and wiped her eyes
"Where's Ella?" Summer asked
"At the Cohens." Marissa said as though it was supposed to comfort her
"What? The Cohens! Do they know that Ella is Seths?" Summer asked beginning to freak out.
"No. Of course not!" Marissa said "I wanted to let you tell them yourself."
"Tell them? I can't tell them." Summer said
"What do you mean you can't tell them?"
"I have to take Ella and get out of here!" She said standing up
"And go where!" Marissa yelled. "You should see Seth with Ella, he is even better with her than I am!" Marissa said. "He deserves to know he has a daughter."
"No he doesn't!" Summer argued
"What the hell do you mean Summer?"
"Ella is my daughter. I cannot stay here in Newport after having her. My reputation would be ruined!" Summer yelled
"Is this what this is all about? You REPUTATION? Sounds like my mother oh so many years ago and look at where it got her!" Marissa said, a little hurt by Summers comment.
"I am not like your mother. I would never try to force Ella to be something that she's not!"
"She's weeks old and you already are!" Marissa said throwing her hands in the air.
"How so?" Summer said crossing her arms.
"You are denying her her father. You are denying her a chance to be a Cohen!" Marissa said
"Is the world flat? Since when are the Cohens the wonder family?" Summer said flatly
"They are good people."
"Coop. You are my best friend." Summer said lowering her voice. "I don't want to argue with you. Can you just go pick up Ella and then drop us off at the bus station?"
"No." Marissa said firmly. "I love you too, and you are my best friend, so I will not lie for you."
"I love my little girl more than anything in the world." Summer said beginning to cry. "I can't live without her."
"You don't have to." She tried to convince her friend.
"Oh god Coop. Who am I fooling. The Cohens ARE the wonder family taking in Ryan and all. And they raised Seth… something has to be right there… in a twisted Cohenish kind of way. What do I have?" Summer asked Marissa
"Why are you talking like that?" Marissa asked
"I don't have anything to give her. I don't know how to be a mother! I never had one! I have been selfish Coop. I cannot love myself, how can I love a child? I'm still a kid." Summer said desperately
"What are you talking about? Like two minutes ago you would have killed for your baby." Marissa said
"I can't explain it coop." Summer said beginning to cry… "I when I left Ella on the Cohens porch I felt sad, scared, …. Guilt. But yesterday when I got off of the bus here I went right to the beach… I saw Cohen, he was on this bench with Ella giving her a bottle… his skateboard was propped up against the bench… She looks exactly like him Coop… And when he looked at her he had this look in his eyes that I never did. He loves her and he doesn't even know that she is his…" Summer's voice trailed off
"But you said you want her back…"
"I do. She is my daughter. I love her really! I just got scared. I got scared because I didn't want anyone to take away the one thing that makes me feel good. But I didn't realize that in doing that I would be complicating everyone elses lives…" Summer said
"You're not!" Marissa said choking on her tears.
"Tell Ella I love her…" She grabbed her bag and walked over to the door. "I can't keep on playing games with your lives. I can't keep coming in and out. Bye Coop. I love you." Summer said. "By the way, I owe your dad a 50."
Marissa was too shocked to chase her. She just stood there in the spot where her best friend just had contemplating what had happened.