Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or his world, or the concept behind Harvey. Though, I do own the lavender bunny and Esme.
Chapter 1: Here Comes Peter Cottontail?
Remus rolled out of bed on the 22nd determined to at least show up at the interviews set at the Oak and Holly Bush. He only had one problem, he had never heard of the Oak and Holly Bush, and neither had Harry, Dumbledore, McGonagall or Flitwick for that matter.
At times like these, he felt like he really needed Sirius. Sirius knew every bar and tavern this side of Bangkok, the pervy drunkard. Gods, Remus missed him. He gave a small sniff and went to get dressed.
Diagon Alley was as it always was, brimming with wizards and witches scurrying about on their daily errands. Of course, those wizards and witches weren't above giving the werewolf the occasional glare and rude comment. Remus gave a resigned sigh and headed to Flourish and Blotts.
Inside Luna Lovegood gave him a misty smile. "Hello Professor Lupin, Mrs. Blotts is in the back.", she chirped merrily.
"Oh, it's alright Luna. I was just wondering, if you might carry a map of Diagon Alley.", Remus replied.
Luna nodded and brought down an atlas of the Wizarding World. "Here you go Professor, just leave it on the counter when you are finished."
"Thank you, Miss Lovegood.", he said with a nod and Luna giggled.
She then gave him a far away look. "If you see anything unusual, you will tell me won't you?"
Remus slowly nodded, unsure of what to say. "Of course, Miss Lovegood."
"Just leave it on the counter.", she finished and walked towards the back of the shop.
Remus flipped open the book and found Diagon Alley but not the Oak and Holly Bush. Blast, how am I to go if I can't find the bloody place, he thought. "Where in the blazes is Oak and Holly Bush?", he growled. Just as he finished, a small wreath with the words Oak and Holly Bush appeared on the atlas between Flourish and Blotts and the owl emporium next door. He set the book on the counter and went outside. There was nothing there, just a brick wall.
The werewolf shrugged and turned to face the street. Suddenly, a very large lavender bunny collided into him, knocking him to the sidewalk. "Bloody eggs!", the rabbit snarled and saw the prone werewolf on the sidewalk. "Sorry mate, Harvey decided it would be funny to put an egg under my chair, and under Jack's chair, and on top of the bar sign, and in the chandelier, and down the barmaid's dress…Oh, sorry about that as well." He offered a hand up to a very confused Remus.
Remus turned towards the wall and saw another very large rabbit emerge from the brick face. "Ernie, you git. You dropped eggs everywhere, you blasted goose. Esme is fit to be tied."
Ernie turned on his friend. "Damnable Pookah!! You dropped those eggs."
"Pookah's ruin vegetable patches and get blokes drunk, they do not drop eggs. We leave that kind of pansy stuff to the 'ickle, fluffy, baby Easter Bunnies.", he teased and then worked to straighten his white fluffy ears. "Whose this then?", he asked finally noticing Remus. Ernie was clearly ignoring his drinking partner causing Harvey to tap his foot. "Ern, who the hell is this then?", the pookah bellowed into the bunny's ear.
"I don't know, now do I?", Ernie pouted. They both turned to Remus, who looked quite dazed by all this.
"Remus Lupin, I was supposed to go to the Oak and Holly bush for a job interview, but I think I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown", he managed to get out before Harvey was shaking his hand.
"Harvey Longears at your service, Mr. Lupin", he said with a slight twitch to his pink nose. "And this is my associate Mr. Dovie."
Ernie extended his paw. "Pleasure, Mr. Lupin. Just call me Ernie." Remus shook the rabbit's paw and nodded.
"Oh, don't sell yourself short, Ernie. Mr. Lupin, this is the infamous Mr. Earnest Lee Lovee Dovie, otherwise known as the Easter Bunny.", Harvey sniggered.
"Bloody Pookah Prat!!" Ernie shouted before tackling Harvey and punching him repeatedly in the stomach.
Remus was just about to abandon this hallucination and go back into Flourish and Blotts, when a very striking young lady bustled out of the brick wall.
"Ernie, Harv, knock it off or it will be conie stew on the special tomorrow.", she shouted as she separated the mad hares. "Now, Harvey get going you need to meet up with that muggle bloke in half-an-hour. Ernie, your wife called you best get going and remember to cast an anti-theft charm on your basket next time you pop by." She paused for a moment as Harvey scurried off and pulled an egg out of her bodice. "Here is the last of them, love. Don't let Harv get to you, you know how tricksters are.", she said as she ruffled his fur.
Ernie stood up. "Thanks, Esme.", he mumbled and hopped down the road.
Remus stared at the retreating figures of the rabbits. "Was that? Was that real?"
Esme gave an earthy chuckled. "Yes, though to look at all the blind eyes on this street, you won't think so." She turned to the wizard. "You must be here for the managerial position?"
Remus nodded. "How did you know?", he said suddenly self-conscious of his robes, which had seen better days.
"No worries, love. I've seen worse trust me and I know 'cos you won't be here otherwise, now would you?", she said with a wolfish grin.
"No, Madame. I probably wouldn't.", he said ducking his head slightly.
"No formalities necessary, just call me Esme.", she said and tapped her wand against the wall revealing a door.
"Thank you, Miss Esme.", he said with a bow and the pair walked into the Oak and Holly Bush.
A/N: Woohoo. Chapter 2 is finished, this would normally be the part where I thanked reviewers but since I posted the prologue only a few hours ago, they have yet to manifest. But thanks to RosiePadfoot for the feedback, which consisted of her mocking my spelling and head-butting me whilst yelling 'bother'.