CHAPTER TWENTY: Clubbed.

The thick sounds of electronic music filled their ears. Strobe lights filtered though the dance floor, flickering to the beat of the songs. Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a rave, grooving with a pig at the turntables as the pulse pounded relentlessly throughout the club.

Mumbo covered the sides of his skull. "This worse than hangover!"

"What asked Kazooie over the din.

"Over here!" said Canary Mary. "He usually sits over at this side."

"Wha?" yelled Bottles.

Mary motioned with her wing. The others managed to get the message and got behind her.

"This can't be good for the ear drums," said Bottles, nearly bumping into a red echidna. "I imagine the Mrs. has done quite enough damage to them already."

"Huh?" said Kazooie, deftly steering clear of what appeared to be a Tasmanian tiger.

"Wait, here he is!" said the canary.

Sitting before them, wearing retro disco clothes and a gold chain, was Snide the Weasel. Accompanied by two lady weasels, he had the biggest grin in the room.

"Er, Snide?" said Mary.

His smile instantly dropped as he saw the yellow bird. "I told you, call me 'Vin' when I'm at the club."

"Sorry. It's just that my friends here need some help infiltrating the Rival Fleet."

The lady weasels gasped.

Kazooie muttered, "Since when are we the canary's friends?"

"Listen," said Snide, "Weekends are Vin's party times. Snide's expertise will not be available until Monday, so you can come back then."

"I guess you didn't hear me, 'Vin'," said Mary, her voice rising. "I said RIVAL FLEET. The Rival Fleet you used to work for -- remember? The Rival Fleet that's after your head for running away with thousands of doubloons worth of jet fuel, huh, Vin? The Rival Fleet that--"

"All right, all right. I get the picture," said Snide. "So, what can we do to help each other?"

"Oh, that's simple," said Kazooie. "Just figure out a way for us to get Banjo's body back, and we'll take care of that mean Ol' Blackeye for you. Deal?"

The weasel scratched the back of his neck. "You think you can take on Blackeye's Fleet with no one but that honey-eating sack of fur by your side? I've never heard anything so ridiculous!"

The two lady weasels giggled.

"Actually, I've got two others to even things out right here," said the Breegull.

Just then, Mumbo and Bottles, who were at either side of her, backed away a step.

"I take it they're not too confident in your plan," said Snide. "He got up. "Look, it's going to take a while before I can get you what you need. So enjoy yourselves in the meanwhile, because it's a rough road ahead for all of us." With that, he strolled off with the two gals.

"I can't believe this," said Kazooie.

"Huh?" yelled Mumbo.

------

Klunty's old lair was a wreck. A big wreck, at that. Once housing nine independent and highly various ecosystems, the interconnected caverns were where Banjo and Kazooie had once trotted through, snatching varied golden objects and placing them where needed. It was a long and arduous quest for the bird and bear, even though their proceeding adventure would seem much longer. Only the main room was accessible, which was where Cheato the spellbook resided.

Until Klunty herself came.

Limping uneasily in her relatively new body, the hideous witch entered the lair just moments earlier with one goal in her mind: to completely obliterate Cheato beyond recognition.

"Well, well," began Klunty, "Banjo and Kazooie helped fix you back together, eh? I guess it's the fire for you!" She lunged at the book, but it dived out of the way.

"Avoid mean witch's grab Cheato has," said the book. "Roast on open fire Cheato will not."

"You think you're pretty smart?" said the witch. "You want to play it rough, is that it?" She briskly rubbed her enormously large and slimy hands together. "Time for a more aggressive approach..." Immediately Klunty formed a blindly bright green glow between her palms. "This time I will not fail!"

A loud, siren-like sound emitted from the spell she created, signaling it was heat seeking. Finally, the witch let it loose and it began to trail Cheato as it flew around the room.

The spellbook was nearly a half a foot away from it when he made a quick dodge behind and around Klunty.

"What are you--" uttered the witch before the spell hit the witch and knocked her off her feet. She spun, making three honeycombs fall out of her black labcoat. "ERRRGH!" she yelled as she hopped back up, pounding the ground with her fist. Then, she used a more tried-and-true approach.

"Not like this Cheato does," he said as Klunty started to toss flask after flask of chemicals at him. The witch then turned invisible and ran around the room. Completely bewildered, the book stopped flying for a moment. Big mistake.

Before he could speak with bad grammar again, Cheato was clubbed with great might out of the lair.

Outside, Yellow Egg, and Blue Egg had just repaired the bridge leading into the giant sculptured head.

"This is SWEET!" Blue couldn't help but say. "We're going to fix up the lair in no time!"

At that moment Cheato flew out of the entrance to the lair, hitting the side of the bucket. It wailed.

The spellbook continued the tumble down the spiral and eventually landed in the stream.

"What in--?" said a certain goldfish as Cheato began to pulpify.

The book tried to flap himself out of the water, but the weight of the liquid it absorbed made him too heavy to fly. Pathetically, he drifted down the stream, unable to save himself. Looking up at the entrance to the lair, he could see Yellow, Blue, and a bucket about to walk inside. "No! In there Klunty is!" Cheato yelled, but it was too late.

Yellow Egg, Blue Egg, and Leaky stepped into the lair.