CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: The Challenge.

The Aqua Club lay gently over the water just outside the docking bay into the Gloomy Galleon. The tablet-shaped vessel wasn't terribly ornate from the outside, since it was rarely seen from that view when partiers came aboard. This also helped to keep a relative anonymity as it floated unsettlingly close to the presence of the Rival Fleet's yet unfinished ships -- the Grumblina and the Sandy Shanty.

"Right this way," motioned Snide as the group climbed out of the vessel and onto a tiny patch of land that housed a wooden shack.

"Welcome to Snide's Headquarters," he said. "Center of all semi-legal and top secret operations in the DK Isles."

"Spare me the intro," spoke Kazooie.

Inside, the four took turns admiring the weasel's unusual assortment of contraptions and devices strewn about the place.

"Feel free to make yourselves as comfortable as you like," suggested Snide.

Mumbo took heed, sitting on what appeared to be an upturned wooden bucket.

"Whoa, whoa! Don't sit on--"

But it was too late. Whatever the shaman had chosen to rest on activated a swinging hammer, nearly taking off Canary Mary's head but hitting a large red button instead.

"Uh oh," said the weasel.

An oversized horseshoe magnet popped out of a slot in the wall, almost poking Kazooie's eyes out. It continued its journey across the room. As the Breegull ducked, the magnet managed to stick to an iron hatch behind her. Finally, the combined weight of the magnet and hatch caused it to flip open, revealing what was inside.

Nothing.

Kazooie gave a bemused clap. "Bravo."

Snide frowned. "It used to be a real neat way of giving out special items after trade offers were made, okay?"

They looked away.

"Anyways," Snide began, "I'll try to get agents on the lookout for platinum resources as they pop up. Beyond that, there isn't anything more I can do."

"Great," said Kazooie defeatedly. "Where are we going to sleep, anyway?"

"There's always the club," said Mary. "Snide here is gonna give the engine a once-over anyway, right?"

"Well, yeah," said the weasel. "I have to tune it up after every weekend. Y'know, to make sure it runs smoothly."

The Breegull seemed uninterested in all of this. "Er, no. I think I've slept there enough, thank you. How 'bout a hotel?"

"The Hotel Mario?"

"No," said the four.

"Well, then there's always Candy's place. She's renovated her living space to rent out rooms." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a pen. "Anybody got a piece of paper?"

"Oh, sure," said Mary. "There's an old sheet I've stuffed in my--"

"Whoa!" Snide interrupted. "I don't need to hear all the details. Just give it to me."

The canary pulled out a yellowed flier. The weasel reached for a pair of tongs with extenders and clutched the note, not moving a step closer to Mary.

"Here's the address," he said, writing it down. "There should be at least two vacancies available and--" He stopped.

"What is it?" asked Kazooie.

"Er, Mary?" said the weasel. "How long have you been carrying this flier?"

"Three weeks, maybe," said the canary.

"So you couldn't have informed us of this?" He held up the flier:

::DK Valley Kart Racing Challenge::

-Come one, come all! In anniversary of the evil Wizpig's defeat, DK Corps invites you to participate in the Isle's newest racing event! Race against time and other contestants for the coveted PLATINUM BALLOON TROPHY. Refreshments available.

Mumbo and Bottles were stunned. Mary opened her mouth to speak, but her tongue kept getting in the way.

"Don't tell me you forgot to mention a way we could obtain some platinum quickly and efficiently," said Kazooie.

Snide looked back to the flier. "Hmm. It looks like we haven't missed it. Good. One or more of you should enter the race."

"That should set you right," said Mary awkwardly.

"But I'm not good at kart racing!" said the Breegull. "I mean, Banjo said he was good at that when we first met, but--"

"Look," said Snide. "You want Banjo back, right? But we need that key, right? I will build you that key, but first I need the platinum from that balloon that we can get very easily by having you enter and win this kart racing contest. Got it?"

"Yeah, but--"

"No buts. You want Banjo? This is the to get him."

"But Snide," said Mary, "look at the date on this flier.

The weasel suddenly realized how close he stood to the canary. "Whoa!" He backed away a step, and looked again at the ad. "Crud."

"What is it?" asked Kazooie.

He showed the flier to them again, pointing out the date. "The race starts later today. The contestants have already been picked."

"Mumbo hate twists," he said.

"Maybe we should ask if we can join in as late additions," suggested Bottles.

"Oh, and maybe we can stroll right up to whoever it is that's hosting the race and just swipe the trophy," said the Breegull. "Cuz it's always just that simple!"

"Now I understand why my cousin never finished building that sarcasm detector," muttered Snide.