CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: Opponents.

Kluntilda the witch couldn't stop cackling. She had just gotten rid of one of the lesser pains in her side: that little spellbook of hers, Cheato. She had finally won, and though it was tiny triumph, the effect it had on her esteem was indeed great.

Then two eggs and a bucket entered.

"Mumbo's mountain is just--" Blue began, but stopped.

"What were you saying?" asked Yellow, but then found out what had caught his attention.

"Hello, my dairy friends!" said Klunty. "It seems fate is pretty efficient nowadays!" She reached for the eggs, but they swerved out of the way.

"Not so fast!" said Yellow. "We're not yours to shove into random secreted places anymore. We're going to get Purple back, and there is nothing you can do about it."

An evil grin spread across Klunty's face. "How about this?" A spark flitted in her palm, turning into a huge fireball.

The eggs had only a split second to act. Before they could do anything else, Yellow and Blue instinctively tossed the bucket of water they were carrying at the witch.

"Augh!" cried Klunty. "My face! My horrible, horrible face! AUUUGH!"

The secret items stood speechless. Of all the things Banjo and Kazooie had done to try and defeat Klunty, all it took was a little enchanted water.

The witch stumbled out of the lair, desperately trying to hold her liquefying face together as she left.

Yellow slowly pulled his thoughts together, "So... THAT'S what happened back then."

"Excuse me?" said Blue.

"Er, before, at Cauldron's Keep," Yellow explained, "when Mingella had attacked us. She fired a spell that destroyed Ice Key, sending lethal water vapor everywhere. There wasn't a bit of her left."

"Yes, I understand. So if we can get enough, we could--"

"Oh no, but -- Ice Key!" Yellow realized.

The eggs lowered their heads. "You've saved us again, Key, even in death."

They gathered the last few puddlets into the bucket. "We ought to build a memorial in his name after we repair the lair," said Blue.

But the eggs realized something.

"Where's Cheato?"

------

"Steady!" said Taj the elephant as he approached the assembled multitude. "You have all gathered for the kart race, yes?" he began.

The crowd roared in agreement.

"Very good. Very, very good," replied Taj. "But before we begin, a word from our guest speaker."

The tall Captain Blackeye had wobbled up to the microphone.

"Ahem. As ye all know, several years ago, a big ol' snout by th' name o' Wizpiggian the Third came down to destroy DK valley and all of its fuel deposi--" He caught himself. "Er, healthy citizens. If were not fer th' brave deeds o' Diddy, Krunch, Drumstick, Pipsy -- heck, even T.T. -- we wouldna be standin here now. That's all I have to say about that."

The crowd cheered as Blackeye walked off, muttering obscenities to himself.

Elsewhere, Kazooie, Bottles and Mumbo had sneaked into the kart pit, where the vehicles were being tuned up.

"Okay," the bird began, "All we have to do is switch places with one of the racers and we're in."

"But what if the judges or the other contestants recognize us?" asked the mole.

"We'll just have to--" but then a tire bounced off the Breegull's head. "Uh... as I was saying, I--" Another tire bounced off her head. "What IS you problem?" she yelled, turning to the thrower.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the otter with another tire ready in his hands. "I'm bumper!"

Kazooie rolled her eyes.

"I thought you were part of the pit crew," said Bumper. "Sorry again."

Mumbo suddenly looked to Bottles, and then to Bumper. Then to the mole, then back to the otter. Bottles. Bumper.

"Mumbo have idea."

"Gentlemen, ladies," said Taj, brimming with excitement. "As the contestants get to their marks, I would like to present to you all the trophy of this year's DK Valley Kart Racing Challenge!"

The crowd gasped in disbelief as the solid platinum balloon was unveiled.

"Yes, that is one hundred percent pure platinum. Neat, eh?"

Back at the start line, Blackeye searched left and right. "Where is that runt Bumper?"

"Here I am!" yelled what appeared to be the slicked-down otter.

"Oh, good," said the captain. "I thought ye cowarded out or somethin'."

"No, I'm right here," he said.

"Say... Your voice seems a bit jumpy," Blackeye noticed. "An' didn't you have some accent?"

"No," said Bottles disguised as Bumper, "I didn't."

"Ne'er mind that," he said. "You know th' plan: get first place an' we split th' balloon square even."

"Y--yes, sir," said the mole. He walked over to his assigned kart and hopped in.

"Oh, an' Bumper," said the captain, "Nice backpack. Very stylish, that."

"Okay fellows," said Taj. "Ready to your marks!"

Bottles adjusted his glasses under his strapped-on wind visor.

"Has the race started yet?" asked Kazooie's muffled voice from within the backpack.

"Just a few seconds," responded the mole.

Taj cleared his throat. "Ready? Three... Two... One... GO!"