Ah, long time no update. Read, review, and Request! Kinda short though. Heh...

xoxo Jules

Chapter 25: "I just want to get inside you"

Summer wiped her eyes when she got back to her apartment. She had to get herself together. She had to be strong for Ella.

"Mama." Summer heard a little voice whisper from the back seat.

She thought that she was hallucinating until she heard it again.

"Mama." The voice said a little louder this time until Summer saw a little curly brown head pop up.

"Bam?" Summer said in surprise pulling the little girl out from under the seat where she had hidden the duration of the car ride. "What are you doing?" She asked standing the little girl on the pavement.

"I heard you say that you wanted me to come with you so I did." Ella said beaming.

"I know that I wanted you to be with me but it's not that easy sweetie." Summer said as she knelt in front of her daughter.

"Why not?" Ella asked, her eyes about to water.

"Nana and Pop-Pop want you with them too. See you have a lot of people who love you. Nana and Pop-Pop just want to keep you safe. Since what happened with Se- Daddy I they want to protect you, that's all." Summer explained surprised at how easily the words came.

"But you're not going to hurt me!" Ella said taking a step closer to her mother.

"I know that."

"Then why do they wanna protect me?" The little girl persisted.

"Because, a long, long time ago I hurt your daddy, I think that I hurt you too."

"You didn't hurt me." Ella said hugging Summer tightly. "I feel fine!" She said smiling.

"Come on, let's go inside." Summer said guiding Ella by the hand back to the apartment.

When they got in Summer tucked Ella in bed, sang her a song, and sat at her side while the little girl fell asleep.

She kept the door cracked when she left the room. She went to the phone quickly and dialed Ryan and Marissa's number. What was she going to do? She had practically kidnapped Ella! Well she was her mother… but she didn't have legal custody of her… technically anyway.

Summer heard a cheery voice on the line.

"Hey this is Marissa and Ryan's place, we're unavailable to take your call but if you leave your name and number-" Then it hit her, they were away for a weekend.

"UGH!" Summer said throwing the phone against the wall.

Who else was there to call? Well there was Craig, but she didn't want to give him the wrong idea. They were just friends and that's all that they were going to be. Even though he was a nice enough guy. Then a name popped into her head that she couldn't get out… Noah.

Summer paced back and forth until she heard the doorbell ring. She fumbled with the lock before the door opened to reveal Noah, looking quite worried.

"Summer, are you alright?" She asked

"Yes, no, …I don't know!" Summer said braking down in tears. Much to her surprise within seconds Noah was holding her like they were old friends.

"It's going to be alright." Noah whispered to her as Summer slowly pulled back.

The two sat on the couch.

"What's going on Summer?" Noah asked

Summer didn't seem to hear Noah's words.

"I didn't want to leave her." Summer said.

"What are you talking about?" Noah asked, this seemingly coming from nowhere.

"At first I didn't want her, true. But every life deserves a chance right?" Summer said more to herself than anyone. "She was born in the hotel… god I hated that place… They made me go to the hospital, I didn't want to."

Noah gently held Summer's hands as she continued to ramble on.

"They said you have a beautiful baby girl, 7 lbs, 2 oz." Summer said with a smile. "And then I held her. She was so perfect. I felt like I was going to brake her. She had Seth's eyes… They asked me questions, why was I in a hotel? Where did I live?" Summer said closing her eyes as to remember it all. "I didn't have answers to any of those questions. Two days later they released us to the street. All that I had was the diaper bag and diapers from the hospital, a blanket, and Isabella Marissa Roberts." Summer said using Ella's full name.

Noah stroked Summer hair trying to comfort her.

"We stayed with a guy that I had met for a couple of days in exchange for… favors. After that we got on a bus. I stopped at this club "Lunachicks". Summer smiled as she remembered the exact club that they had found Hailey at so many years before… but nobody had found her… "One of the dancers there had a kid too. She let me stay with her. I had Ella with me until she was two weeks old. The place we were staying wasn't any place for a human, let alone a newborn baby. I went to Marissa's house, there was no-one home. I figured that she would be with Ryan… She was, I looked in the window and saw them. They were eating at the table… I looked at Ella again, and I told her that I loved her and that I was sorry. And then I kissed her and placed the note next to her in her carrier. And then I rang the doorbell and hid in the bushes. I knew that Marissa would know who she was, and she did. She covered for me the next two weeks. I went back to the club… When I came back Ella was with Seth, if I took her Marissa was going to tell him and then he would come after us. I saw Seth, earlier that day sitting on the bench at the dock giving Ella her bottle, … with you." Summer said her eyes now meeting Noahs.

"I think I resented you because you were with my baby when I wanted so badly to be."

"I'm sorry…" Noah responded unsure of quite what to say.

"Don't I dug my own grave. You were just there to pick up the pieces and I'm grateful that my daughter has had someone like you in her life."

Noah blushed deeply as a tear ran down her cheek.

"When I left her, that final time, it was the hardest thing in the world. It wasn't like I gave her up at birth, … I took care of her, I held her, fed her, gave her her first bath, I also saw her first smile. It was when I sat her down on the porch. When I came back I vowed not to abandon her again. And now she needs me, so I'm going to be there." Summer said finally.

"You're a great mother Summer. I'll help you keep Bam, it's what Seth would have wanted." Noah said hugging Summer one last time as the door bell rang.

"SUMMER!" Sandy yelled as he banged on the door…

UH OH. Review and have a chapter REAL soon!