CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: The Final Chuckle.
Klunty's melting jaw dropped in shock. "Hey!" she said. "That's not fair! This is Banjo-Threeie, not Bottles-Canary!"
"Just trying to even things up," said Mary. "Like you said."
By then, the mole squadron had formed a solid corkscrew of force, propelling toward the duel duos.
"Go!" said Kazooie. She and the bear dived downward, letting the group zip over them while Mary and Bottles soared above.
"What are you--?" said the witch.
Suddenly the two birds simultaneously fired grenade eggs at the battalion, cracking it into two waves of very disoriented moles.
Klunty's eyes widened as much as she could manage within the mask. "AUGH! My army!"
Some of them slipped out off their brooms, while others re-formed into a snake-like structure, now doubly increasing their speed toward the duos.
"Oh my...!" said Kazooie.
At that moment, the Salty Hippo reared its way toward the moles. "Looks like the odds are evening, doesn't it?" said Ungry. "Men, fire when ready!"
"Heh," said Klunty. "Like I can't send in my army to shield me!"
"I'm not sure you'll be able to shield this," said Blubber, and they began the assault.
"Good god!" said the witch as she realized what they were doing. "Back, moles, back!"
But it was too late. The fart gas from the hippos promptly had the remaining drones in a daze, leaving them to wobble in the wind.
"What the--?" said one them. "What am I doing on a broom? High above the clouds? At this hour?"
"Huh?" said Banjo, confused. "What's happening to the moles?"
Kazooie quickly assessed the situation. "The stankyness had apparently cancelled out the power Kluntilda had over her drones, leaving her defenseless."
"Thought so," said the bear.
"I may be on my own," said the witch, "but I'm certainly not defenseless!" She quickly conjured up a spell and tossed it at the Salty.
Without so much as a whimper, the vessel began its slow, agonizing descent down into the mist. "Men!" said Ungry. "We're deceleratin'! Head to the engines!"
But something saved them -- or rather, some folks did. The moles gathered together underneath the ship, and began gently carrying it toward the ground far below.
Klunty groaned furiously. "I've had enough of this! You will all pay for what you've done, and mean it this time!" She spread her arms out, creating large orbs in each hand. "Bye-bye, now!" The let them both go.
The spells hounded Banjo-Kazooie as well as Bottles and Mary. These were not the usual heat seeking type, that much was certain. They were smart-spells. The duel nearly slammed into each other to the avoid the attacks, but their plan worked: the spells harmlessly crashed together, fizzling out.
"Cripes!" said the witch. "You guys just don't give up, do you?" She created ten smaller spells, each from the tips of her fingers, and flung them.
It was hard to tell what was happening: The mini-spells left blinding-white streaks in their wake, obscuring the duos' vision. Finally, one of them struck.
"Mary!" yelled Banjo.
The canary took a hit, and was swooping around Klunty in lazy circles. "Hey!" spoke Bottles, still attached to her. "Straighten up!" She could no longer duck and weave, and took the brunt of the nine other spells.
"How did that feel?" said the witch. "Good? Then lets see how you like this!" She cracked her knuckles and prepared to make the spell of her life. Its eerie glow looked like a second sun, obscuring even the field of stars ahead.
"This looks like the end!" said Banjo.
"You would know," said Kazooie.
Klunty cackled with pure evil. "Game Over, chumps!"
"Not so fast!" said someone above them.
The duos looked up and saw three unexpected visitors: Blue Egg, Yellow Egg, and Purple Egg.
"Holy father of game secrets!" uttered Bottles.
The eggs rode in on their flying spellbooks, leading them to the battle. "Hey, Klunty! How's things?" spoke Blue.
She was quite busy minding her gigantic spell. "Fine, thanks."
"Ew," said Purple, scowling. "That's Gruntilda? What happened to her?"
"Never mind that!" said the witch. "You should be worrying about what happens to you!" She then launched the spell upward.
The sphere of power careened toward the three, but the secret items didn't budge. From Banjo and Kazooie's viewpoint, it looked like a neutron star was rising toward the sky, unimpeded, unsympathetic, unstoppable.
Then it happened. The spell and the eggs collided, releasing gallon upon gallon of enchanted water. It all exploded outward in concentric circles that rapidly began to fall on Klunty.
"OH NO!!!" she said, realizing what she had done. The liquid spray made contact with her skin before she could avoid it, and the witch felt pain. "I'M MELTING!" she yowled, "MEL-TIIING!!! Oh what a world...!"
Mary looked away in disgust as the witch became a loose blob of flesh. The metal mask disconnected, all her jewelery and the rest of the solid things on her person slipped away. Finally, the mass formerly known as Gruntilda P. Winkybunion sloshed off the broom and fell into the clouds, gone.
Somewhere in the clouds, a soul made its final chuckle.
Kazooie peered though the resulting shower of droplets, paper, and eggshells. "They're... there all destroyed!" she said, amazed.
The survivors would continue to float there for the rest of the night.
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Up next, the Wrap-Up!