Warning: Chapter will jump around a bit. I hope its not too confusing.
Reader guide: Text that appears in between >blahblah> is actual written words from Serena's pov, they will merge into flashbacks which are italicized. Plain text is Relena's pov in real time. Okay on with the story.....
Chapter 12
Relena gingerly picked up the box and set it in front of her. She had originally planned to wait until she had arrived back on earth, but time was of the essence and she could not bare to be idle. With infinite care, she opened the box and set the top in the chair beside her peering inside. On immediate viewing, it looked to be a box full of keepsakes and trinkets. There was a soft purple ribbon with frayed edges, and a snow globe that, which though curiously whole, was almost completely covered with caked on ash and dirt. Beside that was a cracked frame also covered with a thick layer of dust.
She carefully picked it up, brushing the dust away with her hand until she could see the picture underneath. Her face softened as she gazed upon the faces of two smiling children. Serena was in front with the arms of her brother wrapped around them. Her head was cocked to the side a little as if she had turned to look at him at the last minute before the picture was taken. Both siblings' eyes were sparkling with innocent joy and laughter. She fingered the picture thoughtfully fascinated by the open innocence in the young boys eyes. There wasn't even the slightest trace of the bitten broken man that this little boy would grow into. She sighed putting the picture carefully to the side before once more peering into the box. He must have gathered these items from the site, but perhaps had never had the heart to restore them to their previous state, she thought.
She dug down deeper passing by the beat up remains of a sun hat and a little dog's collar. She passed several other miscellaneous items, before she came upon a book. Curiously, it had what looked to be the charred remains of a little latch and lock on it. She brushed the dust, grime from it as well as a disturbing slight red substance from the cover. As her fingers touched the cover, she was surprised to discover slightly raised areas on the cover. She continued to rub as hard as she dared until all the letters were revealed, then she read it-Serena.
She gasped as she realized what the book truly was. It was Serena's diary, a record of all her experiences, hopes and dreams. Her life in her own words. It was the only true piece of her that a loving brother had managed to save from the site. Gazing at it reverently, she sucked in her breath, nibbling on her lip. Her fingers gently ran over the slightly burnt edges. She wanted to open the book, but she hesitated, not wanting to intrude. Inside would be all Serena's thoughts and private happenings, she didn't want to read what no one else was meant to. On the other hand, if there was still another side to the events that led up to the tragedy that had set Heero and Daniel at each other... And if there was anything at all that would shed some light on the situation or could help her stop Heero and Daniel, then she had to know. And she hoped that Serena would want that too. She gazed out briefly into the mysterious beyond of the stars and offered up a short prayer to the little girl, who now dwelled somewhere beyond. She then opened the book.
She pried through the delicate pages, her eyes glossing over the simple childish script. Stopping on a page she began to read...
>It has only been a few days since Mary and I had wandered to the forbidden place. Dad didn't want me to go there, he says its dangerous and its not a good place for little girls. But Mary had run away from me and once I got halfway, I just had to see the whole thing. Dad's always saying how I'm too curious for my own good. I met a boy there. He was all alone and he looked so sad. I tried, but I can't stop thinking about him. I wonder if he's still there. I think he needs a friend, so he won't be so lonely anymore. I want to go back. I would maybe ask Danny to go with me, I doubt he'd let me go either. He's sometimes as overprotective as dad. I think I'll sneak off and go back there tomorrow. Just to see. He might not even be there, but I hope... >
She was both surprised and pleased to see him in almost the exact same place, that she had left him almost a week ago. He looked up at her approach, looking almost as surprised as she at her reappearance. He put down the piece of straw that he had been twisting idly in his hands. He looked at her curiously. She felt her herself stop as she met his disturbingly piercing gaze.
Unnerved by the look, her mind suddenly went blank and her courage wavered slightly. "H-hello." She stuttered.
He blinked, the action causing his gaze to soften slightly.
Summoning up her courage, she plunged on. "My name is Serena. What's yours?" She attempted a smile.
He looked at her, his head slightly cocked to the side as if studying a strange creature. Who is she? He wondered. Why does she smile so much and why do I like it when she smiles at me? Unable to find answers to his own perplexing questions, he decided to at least answer hers. "Gundam Trainee 01." He replied automatically lapsing into his serious formal tone. It was already beginning to feel more natural than normal speech.
She frowned at his answer, then giggled thinking that it was a joke. "That's not a real name."
To her surprise the boy didn't smile though. "It's what I am called. I have no other name."
As she quickly realized that he was serious, she suddenly felt bad for laughing at him. "I'm sorry."
The boy merely shook his head negating her apology. In truth was he was surprised at her words, it had been a long time since anyone had bothered to apologize to him. "My guardians sometimes call me 01 for short."
She smiled. "01. It's very nice to meet you." She said extending her hand. Her smile was very infectious and he found himself returning it as he clasped her hand in his. She gave his hand an enthusiastic shake. "So 01, do you know any good games..."
Relena continued to carefully flip through the pages, a smile growing on her face. Each page was filled with childhood wonders and adventures. The details and descriptions were amazing, it was like she was there watching them. She could see so vividly the games that they played, the talks they had, the songs that they sang. All through the eyes of the eight year old child. She watched the two children gradually grow closer. She could see the once lonely stoic little boy become cheerful and lighthearted, frequently playing tricks on his friend, when she thought he wasn't there. She would jump up screaming and he would fall down laughing. Then there finally came the day when he was finally bested. He had snuck up close to her as usual, confident as always that she was unaware of his presence.
He was just getting close enough that he was about to play his trick, when she suddenly spun around startling and something white suddenly flew towards his face. Something white and -creamy? He just stood there in complete shock, his mouth hanging open.
Serena held a hand over her mouth. "I can't believe that actually worked. " she said trying to hold in her giggles.
Trying to maintain some dignity, 01 tried to shoot her the fiercest glare that he muster, but it only made her laugh even harder as she watched the cream slowly drip off his face. The boy wiped some of the stuff off his face and looked at it. Whip cream. She had thrown a small pie at him! His face started to twitch and then despite the struggle to maintain the glare, he began laughing as well...
Still reading Relena found herself laughing as well. She found herself really liking Serena, she was a good friend, Heero was really lucky to have met her. At the thought a slight sadness crept into her expression, feeling a little envious at the closeness of the two. Her own childhood had been a rather isolated and lonely one. There had always been a distance between herself and her peers. Too few people could see past her title and status and truly accept her for who she truly was. They would either idolize her or shun her assuming her to be spoiled and arrogant. Heero though..., she thought smiling slightly. He had been totally different. He had completely ignored her title and challenged her like no one else had dared to before. In the end, it had made her a stronger and better person, something that she would always be grateful for. She wondered if perhaps that Serena had had that effect on him. Heero was cold, serious, and deadly sure enough, but at the same time ( though she knew not precisely how) she had been able to detect a certain light in him-it was that that had made her unafraid for in the eyes of the cold soldier she could still sense the heart that and the gentleness of a kind boy. Somehow she knew that he hated what he had become to the degree that he would risk everything of himself to the point of insanity to save others. Dr. J had been wrong. It wasn't simple programming or failure of a mission that made him suicidal, but the fact that through his failure he had let someone else suffer and that was the burden that had been gradually become too much for him to bare.
Serena seemed just like such a sweet and happy child that would also had that instinctive perception. She would loved to have met her. She sobered, realizing that she never would. She stroked the pages gently as if trying sense the feel of the small fingers that had once touched these very pages many years ago. She imagined that though faint she could still sense some of her lingering essence. All that was left of her was written , were these written words-and the memories held by two tortured men who had loved her. She sighed and resumed skimming the pages until a passage caught her attention.
>I haven't seen 01 in five days. I hope he didn't get into trouble. My parents were really mad when I came home after dark. I hadn't planned on breaking the rules, but 01 and I were having so much fun that we forgot about the time and how late it was getting. I got a really big scolding and now I have to do a whole bunch of chores and promise to never do it again. I wonder how badly 01 got punished. He once told me that he wasn't even supposed to leave his "home" at all.
I went back to our meeting place on the fifth day. I went even as far as the fence. Its not a very friendly place. All I could see were rows and rows of solid white buildings. Hardly any windows at all. It looked like a prison....
...After six days, I finally saw him.... >
She sat down in the grass next to their special meeting tree, waiting as she had for the previous five days. She idly scratched behind Mary' s little ear. The little pup yipped in delight, squirming and wagging her tail. Every now and then, she would deposit a loving lick on an exposed part of her hand or face, hoping to get a response out of her sad mistress. But Serena's mind was elsewhere worrying about her friend. She had been there for a long while and knew that soon she would once again have to leave for home without seeing her friend.
Suddenly, there was a small sound behind her and she whirled in surprise. A moment, later her look of startlement broke into a wide smile. "01!" She was instantly on her feet. The boy gave her a weak smile in return. "I haven't seen you in five days! Where have you been?" The words were coming out in a rush and she paused to take a breath. "You didn't get into a lot of trouble did you?"
Though the boy shook his head no, he was only partially able to hide the wince at the memory that had come vividly to life at her words.
Her small brow furrowed as she noticed his reaction and she tried to get a better look at him. He was standing partially in the shadow of the tree and his face was mostly obscured in the darkness. "Come over here with me." She said taking his hand. She was surprised when he gave a muffled his and quickly pulled away. " What's wrong?" She asked. She watched him as he clutched his arm to his chest.
"It's nothing." He said his voice flat, but he stepped back again and for a brief moment he had stepped through a stray strand of light and she had gotten a good look at his face. She gasped in horror.
"What happened to your face?"
The boy sighed knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep it from his friend.
"It isn't because of me is it? I didn't mean to let time slip by like that."
"No." He said only half lying. His mind went back to the days before. They had questioned him about his absence, but he had steadfastly refused to mention Serena at all. He was afraid that they would separate them or worse do something to her. He couldn't have bared either. Dekim sensing that the boy had been holding something back from him had been furious and at first had tried to beat the truth out of him only leaving him alone for a short time, before it was time for him to resume his training. Dekim had concocted a truly grueling training sequence. Upset and hurting, Heero had performed badly, which only resulted in Dekim becoming even angrier . He continued to yell accusations at him. He explained to Heero weaknesses of friendship and feelings and how they would interfere with his training, pointing to his increasing failures in the "simple" courses that he himself had devised. Heero had denied the existence of his friend over and over until he was almost in tears. Of course, this had done nothing to dispel Dekim's ire. It was only when Dr. J. Had come in drawn by the yelling that Dekim was forced to back down and take a break. It wasn't until many days afterward, that Heero had dared to leave the premises again. "I didn't tell them about you. These bruises...I got while training. They've become increasingly hard to finish."
True, he had had bruises before Serena thought as she looked at him skeptically, but he had never had them as severe as this before. Something didn't feel right about this. But what reason had she to doubt? 01 would have told her if anything was wrong. She didn't for a moment considered that he could have been lying. She had come from such a loving and caring family that any real thoughts of something being amiss were far from her mind.
"It's okay," 01 reassured. "It doesn't hurt anymore and I heal really fast. They'll be gone in a few days." He put on a charming smile just for her waiting for her brows to smooth and the worry to disappear from her eyes. "Listen, I won't be coming around for a few days."
"Why not?" She whined disappointment obvious on her face.
"They are already suspicious. They're watching me now. This is the first time that I was able to get away. I can't let them find out about you." He said his eyes haunted, subconsciously he rubbed a bruised wrist. "I'll come back again once I've convinced them."
"Is it really so bad for them to know about me?"
"They'd be angry if they knew. I'm not suppose to have friends. Dekim says that soldier's don't need them. They make us weak."
"Nuh huh." Serena shook her head in denial. "You're strong. Stronger than anyone I know even my brother." Her voice filled with all the faith and conviction that only a child's voice could.
A small smile curved his lips. "Don't come back for at least a week, okay." And with that he left her.
Relena continued reading. As promised, a week later the two friends met again. Though this time there was an increased air of caution around them. From then on, they were very careful to pay close attention to the time and at times, they would end up skipping meetings for Dekim never completely believed Heero's lie and whenever Dekim started to get to close to finding out, they decided that they would rather part for a short time than be forcefully parted for forever. As Relena continued to read she also began to notice an increasing number of times that Heero would meet his friends sporting injuries. He would always make light of it though, proudly proclaiming that it was all in the process of becoming a great soldier. He told her how intensive that his training had gotten and the fact that soon he would be going on his first mission. Serena wasn't as fooled as he liked to think though, she noticed that at these times how he would never look her in the eye. Slowly, she began to realize that something indeed was really wrong and that the world wasn't filled with as many good people as she had thought.Now she could only wait hoping he would finally come clean with her and ask for her help.
It was a cool sunny day. The wind blew languidly through the trees. The bright blue sky was dotted with dozens of thick fluffy clouds in a myriad of shapes and sides. Far below them, two young children lay sprawled upon the grass. They had been playing a game spinning around until one of them was dizzy and then they would chase the other. After several rounds, dizzy and nearly suffocating with laughter the two children had collapsed on the grass. After their laughter was spent they continued to lay almost dozing on the soft inviting grass gazing up at the clouds floating by.
"Hey look an elephant!" Serena pointed excitedly. Heero frowned as he followed her fingers. "See. See the trunk and the big ears."
Heero nodded quickly catching on the new game. He searched the skies, his young face squenched in concentration as he tried to find a pattern. Serena almost giggled at the serious expression on his face. Finally, he pointed out one. "Look a dog." Serena followed his finger, cocking her head to the side slightly as she tried to catch the pattern that he saw.
"Yes," she agreed. "It almost looks like Mary. Oh look that one! It looks just like my grandmother use to." She pointed to one plump round cloud. She laughed as she pictured what her real grandmother would say to that. 01's eyes shown for a moment as he listened to her describe her relative and her unique personality quirks. As she went on the boy's smile began to slip and his gaze grew distant. Serena's voice faded as she noticed the change.
"Serena?" He asked.
"Hmmm."
He looked slightly uncertain. He fiddled with his hands. "What's your family like?"
Serena glanced over at him, wondering at his unreadable expression. She knew that he had "guardians", but she had long ago began to doubt that they were anything like her own parents. "Well...," she began oddly feeling like she was at school giving a report. " My father is a D.A., he said its kinda like a lawyer. His job is to put bad people in jail. He can be pretty strict and serious at times, but he's also goofy sometimes. My mother's a decorator and she likes pretty things especially flowers. Yellow ones are her favorite and mine too. She's really nice. She tells me stories and we sing songs together...."
Heero listened as she rambled on , especially entranced by her description of her mother something that he had never had before. Envisioning the bonds held between Serena and her parents he was suddenly struck with an intense longing for a real family of his own. "...and my brother's name is Danny. He's older than me. He can sometimes be overprotective and sometimes a little obsessive. He blames himself for everything!" She rolled her eyes at that, but a fond smile still remained on her face as she remembered the times that he had looked out for her. One in particular was a couple of years ago, when she had encountered a growling rottweiler. She could have died then, but Danny terrified beyond all measure had knocked her out of the way just as it was about to jump on her. Instead it had turned on him. Luckily a neighbor had acted quickly enough to prevent her brother from getting hurt too badly. It had been a horrifying experience, but it had been then that she had truly realized how much her brother loved her. Terrified as he had been of big dogs and that one in particular, he had still jumped in front of it for her. The scars had faded, but it had left a lasting impact on her life and his as well. After coming so close to loosing her, he had become unbearably protective for awhile. It was only recently, that he had began to lighten up. "He gets in trouble a lot, but he's nice too. I'd think you'd like him. You are a lot alike."
"You're family sounds really nice. I wish I had a real one." He said wistfully. "My guardians aren't anything like that."
"Oh?" It wasn't often that he spoke of them.
"Before J and Dekim, my first guardian was Odin. He was kinda nice. He never..." He abruptly broke off almost saying too much. He swallowed. "We would make a family. He promised that after he finished one more job, that he would quit forever . He-he didn't know how good he'd be, but he promised he would try to be a father to me." He turned to her suddenly unshed tears in his eyes. "But he never came back. Dr. J and Dekim, they took me in saying that he would want it that way. But I don't know...they're so cold. Colder than Odin. I want a family like yours-a father and mother. Maybe even a brother and sister too." He wiped angrily at his face as the tears betrayed him and slid down his face. He was doing it more and more unable to control it-he was expressing feelings. He wasn't suppose to cry, he rebuked himself. Dekim had scolded him countless times. Crying was a weakness. Tears were a weakness. But he couldn't hold these tears back, anymore than so many other things that had began to surface again since he had met her. A normal life. Family. Friends. He wasn't suppose to have any of those things, but why not. Was he not worthy of those things? Why did things have to be this way? He looked up at Serena. She looked back at him as well tears fell freely from her eyes and she was unashamed. She scooted over beside him and wrapped her small arms around his miserably shaking form, drawing him close just like her mother would when she was sad. " I want to tell you something..."
Heero finally let out all the feelings that he had been withholding and told her some of the truth that had been happening at the complex(leaving a lot of the nastier details out of course). Serena offered to help him telling him that her father might be able to help, but that she's have to wait until he came back from a trip. It was decided that a week from that day they would meet and she would take her friend home to meet her father. Heero hoped that it wouldn't be too long though, because he had a nagging feeling that Dekim knew about Serena.
The day finally arrived when Serena was to bring 01 over to meet her parents, but he was not there. She waited for several hours, then getting antsy she decided to walk towards the fence. If 01 couldn't come to her, she was determined to go and get him. He would go with her and never comeback to this horrible place again. It was as she approached the fence that she began to hear voices. They were the voices of two men walking leisurely out in the compound yard near the fence. One was a mustached man with white hair and a fez on his head, the other wore glasses and had a prosthetic arm. She strained to hear their words.
"...then we'll have to separate them." The man said easily, his voice mixed with a coldness that made Serena shudder.
"Don't try anything crazy Dekim." The metal -armed man admonished noting the glint in the other's eye.
Dekim waved him off. "Of course not, Trainee 01's first mission is tomorrow."
"I agree that he does lack some of the mentality of a soldier, but he's still a child."
"That's irrelevant, doctor." Dekim's voice was cold fire and his eyes blazed with what Serena thought was a crazed light. "With the right handling he can just as good as an adult, even more. My perfect soldier he will be. Controlled. Emotionless. Filled with unwavering intent and cunning. And I know just how to do it! After his mission tomorrow, he will never frolic around with that addle-minded girl again."
With an inward gasp, Serena took off in her haste , she carelessly stepped on a twig as she passed. In terror she ducked to the ground, as the two men looked up. Seeing nothing, the two men walked on. Serena stayed hidden for several more minutes. No one saw the gleam of cruel humor alight in Dekim's eyes as he cast his eyes back to where the girl lay hidden.
Relena flipped over the page The diary ended abruptly on the evening of the next day. She thought it odd that the passage would end so abruptly mid-sentence. Then as she pondered this a sudden horrible realization came over her and she gasped. Could they have really been so cruel? She hurriedly re-read the passage with Dekim and Dr. J' s conversation. It was almost too horrifying to contemplate, but what Serena had actually heard was Dekim contemplating her death. He had planned it all out. In his own twisted mind, he had reasoned out the only way to completely wipe the humanity out of him and turn him into the perfect soldier he wanted so badly was to have her killed and what better way than to have it done by Heero himself. Heero had been setup. Oh Heero, what did those bastard put you through. She clenched her fist time, wishing that she that she could have righted all the wrongs that had happened to Heero and all the other innocents mixed up in Dekim's insane plans.
After a few moments, she gradually calmed down trying to focus back on the immediate problem at hand . She closed the book and went back to riffling through the box. She pulled out a piece of paper on which was a picture and some writing. As she continued to look at, she suddenly, she felt her spirits rise with new hope. Of course! She quickly grabbed a phone hanging on the shuttle cabin's wall and dialed a number. She could barely wait for the rings to end and the person to pick up. "Yes, its me. I know where Heero is!" Heero, I'm coming. Wait for me.
TBC...
Well, that's it for this chapter. Hope it wasn't too confusing or jumpy, let me know. Sorry about the long wait. It doesn't seem like I can do anything to help that. But thanks to those that are still hanging around reading this. It's much appreciated. The next chapter is the last chapter. Everything and everyone finally come together and decisions are made that will effect the rest of their lives, however long this author decides to make them. Hehe. The next chapter is called The Reckoning and after that will be an epilogue. I'm not going to promise a post date this time, since I can't seem to stick to them lately, but my goal is to finish before the end of the year. Keep your fingers crossed.
Uhm, I think that's all I have to say thanks and please review!