Title: Astray
By: Melusina
Category: angst
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Notes: Many thanks again to my beta Mairi. She checked this story for me. If you find any remaining blunders, blame me for them...
Summary The ultimate answer to the question whether Snape is straight or gay: he is both. But he's not bi. Must be magic - but it's not.
Part Two - The Castle
"There you are, pr'fessor. Are ye all right?"
The booming voice startled him so much, that he unconsciously stepped back and for a moment had trouble to regain his equilibrium. A giant man was standing a few yards away from him, looking at him worriedly.
Michael stared at him. Again not sure whether he was awake or dreaming. Jack had no such troubles. He ran up to the man and danced around him, barking enthusiastically. The big man grinned at him and said, "Well, Sirius, it's good to see you back again. Never thought ye would be accompanying Pr'fessor Snape, though." And he stroked the head of the animal for a moment. Then he looked up again and asked worriedly, "Something the matter with ye, Pr'fessor?" and laid his big hand on Michaels arm.
In a reflex Michael drew his arm back and said, "No, there is nothing wrong with me. What is this? Where do you come from?"
The giant's frown deepened. "Well, ye don't seem like y'rself, Pr'fessor. Do ye need something before ye go to Pr'fessor Dumbledore?"
Michael stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Why should I go to him?"
The giant sighed. "Of course, Pr'fessor, I understand that it is all secret. Never mind. I won't tell a soul."
Michael dimly understood that the man was taking him for somebody else.
"I am not who you think you are," he said abruptly.
The giant's frown deepened when he looked at Michael, but he nodded. "Of course, Pr'fessor, always thought that there was more about ye than ev'rybody always says. But I'm worried about ye, Pr'fessor. Won't ye go to Pr'fessor Dumbledore?"
"I'm fine," Michael snapped. "You don't understand. I'm not who you think I am! You mistake me for somebody else!"
The giant gave him a very hard look, then suddenly his brow cleared and he took a quick look around him. "I see. Don't worry, now. I won't tell a soul."
Michael stared at him, unsure what to do. He wasn't sure what to make of this giant, didn't want to make him angry. And he started to be rather curious what it was all about.
"Very well, I'll go and see the professor. Where do I find him?"
"Ye'll find him in 'is office, Pr'fessor. Password's changed though, since last time. It's wing bats now."
Michael wasn't sure whether he was in a dream or not, but he walked in the direction of the castle. When he reached the great entrance, the doors opened and he faced an older lady, with green robes and a pointed hat.
"Severus," she exclaimed. "There you are finally. We were worried about you. But what are you doing in those clothes?"
For a moment Michael stared at her, but there was no sign that she was making a joke or that she was anything other than sincere. It was also obvious that she was waiting for an answer. He remembered what the giant had said.
"I ... I... ehm, I really cannot tell you, I'm sorry about that. It is a secret."
He was strangely afraid that she would ask him questions that he couldn't answer, but instead she seemed to be deeply worried by his reply.
She studied him carefully and then asked in an entirely different voice, "Severus, is everything all right with you? I've never seen you quite like this before."
Michael didn't have a clue how to answer this, so he remained silent.
This didn't seem to surprise the woman overly much, though. She just sighed and said. "Very well, I will accompany you to Albus. I was just on my way to him myself." And with a quick look at the dog "I'm relieved to see Sirius as well." Michael didn't understand this last expression, but didn't say anything. He couldn't for the life of him think what he might have said.
They both walked swiftly through the castle. Michael was very grateful about this, as he seemed to have entered a labyrinth. He looked left and right around him, but tried not to be too obvious about it. Everywhere around him there was colour and movement and for some reason, the ceiling seemed to be the open sky, indoors though he was.
He was startled when the woman suddenly stopped walking in front of some sort of sculpture. "Wing bats," she crisply said.
Michael nearly jumped back when the sculpture started to rotate and revealed a stairway. He joined the woman, however, when she got up to it and wondered where he was going. His question was answered very quickly when he entered a circular room, filled with all the strangest objects. A very old man appeared and held out his hands, exclaiming, "Ah, Severus, I am very happy to have you back, my boy. And Sirius too! Thank you for bringing them up to me, Minerva."
"Yes, well, Headmaster, I just came by to tell you that there is a satisfactory message from Kingsley Shacklebolt. An owl just arrived."
"Thank you, Minerva, I'm relieved to hear it. Now, if you would please leave Severus and me alone? I'm sure you still are very busy," he said, smiling at her.
"Certainly, Headmaster," she answered, and left the room.
When left alone with the old man, Michael felt acutely uncomfortable. The old man seemed to be very friendly, and Michael felt utterly and completely out of place.
"Sir, I'm sorry, this... this is not what you think it is. I'm not who you think I am. I ... I don't know what happened, I... everybody seems to think that I..."
Dumbledore looked at him and the twinkle in his eyes, that had been there all the time, vanished to make way for some concern.
"Severus, my boy, are you sure that you are alright?"
"No! That is - you don't understand! I'm not this man that you are talking about. I'm somebody else! I..."
Dumbledore put his hand on his shoulder in a very comforting way.
"You know, Severus, I am nearly glad to hear it. You have been so imprisoned and caged in all these feelings of guilt and pain, my boy. Even if this causes you discomfort, I am very glad to see that you are finally getting rid of them. Don't be afraid, child. You are quite safe in here."
Jack, who had been idly walking around the room, sniffing his way around, apparently dangerously fascinated by the cage of a bird, chose this moment to pad towards Michael again to raise his big head and lick Michael's hand. Dumbledore saw it and sharply looked at Michael again. The twinkle reappeared in his eye. "Ah, how rude of me, Sirius. Of course you may transform, if you wish," politely addressing the dog.
Nothing happened, of course. Michael stared at the man as if he had gone mad. "But sir, you don't understand. I don't belong in here. I don't understand I stumbled upon this place. This different from any place I have ever been before. I..."
Dumbledore looked a moment as if he was suppressing a smile. He looked from Michael to his dog and back again. Michael didn't know what he was thinking, but he found the look maddening. He stroked Jack's head again. The old professor followed his hand with apparently amused eyes.
But after a moment, Dumbledore sighed. "I understand how hard this must be for you, Severus. And how confused you must be. What I want to know is, if there is something else that's bothering you." Here, Dumbledore looked at Michael very closely and intensely. "What happened at the latest gathering, Severus? Have you been put under any form of torture?"
Michael stared at Dumbledore, unable to answer immediately. The thoughts raced through his head. It was clear that everybody took him for somebody else, someone called Snape, or so. A professor, apparently. It wasn't all a very elaborate joke. The tone of the people was far too serious for that. His double, Snape, must have been on his way to something dangerous, or else these people wouldn't have reacted in such a way. He asked himself what that could be. The concern of the woman, Minerva, and Professor Dumbledore seemed sincere. Snape might well be in danger, then. He didn't know what he could do. Apart from that, he was very curious. He couldn't for the life of him imagine, what kind of a place this was, and he started to wish for some more. While these thoughts chased through his head, it was clear that Dumbledore was waiting for an answer.
"Well," he said hesitatingly, "no, I was not."
Dumbledore sighed relieved. "Any particulars that I need to know about?"
Michael stared at him again, unsure how to answer. "Anything in particular that you want to know about?" he asked, carefully.
"Any new plans made?" Dumbledore grimly asked.
Michael began to feel guilty again. "Not that I am aware of."
"What about the Lestranges?"
Michael started again. The Lestranges. That was one of the names that haunted his dreams frequently as of late. He had dreamt about them last time. Could it be that...?
He tried to recall what the dream had been about. A burning house, something green in the air, screaming, a name, Peter, and a young girl, a child, running away with burning hair.
He shuddered, remembering it, and Dumbledore saw it immediately.
"What?" he sharply asked.
"There was something with a house. It was put on fire. I think everybody in it died, except for one small girl... I'm sorry. It was all very unclear..."
For some reason Dumbledore seemed to worried about him again, but he only said, "Must have been the Doolittles then. Poor people."
Michael didn't know anything to say to that so he kept silent. After a while Dumbledore seemed to shake himself out of his reflection and said, "Well, Severus, if you are sure there is nothing wrong with you, perhaps you should go to your quarters. You cannot walk through the castle in muggle clothes, you know," he chuckled. Michael only stared at him. "Muggles," he thought.
He turned around to walk at the door, wondering how he was supposed to find the rooms of his double.
Dumbledore stared after him dumbstruck. Severus had made a very strange impression. As if he was absentminded, or hurt in more ways then he cared to admit to his employer. Knowing him very well, Dumbledore had known that it would be useless to get more out of him in that respect, but still the man's behaviour perplexed him. But Severus seemed to think nothing about walking through the castle dressed as he was. His relationship with Sirius Black seemed to have changed fundamentally as well. In fact, he would never have thought it possible for the two of them to interact as he had seen them do just a minute ago. Well, he supposed it was a good thing if one could still be surprised. He had a small chuckle in himself, imagining what more might be changing. But it would of course be courting disaster if Severus were allowed to walk around the castle looking like this. So Dumbledore called out after the leaving man, "Eh, Severus, one moment, please," and waved his wand to replace the muggle clothes with the other man's usual robes.
Severus turned around and glared at him, and Dumbledore sighed. But he was too much used to his employee's difficult mood to attach too much importance to Severus' glowering. He knew that transfiguration was by far the man's weakest subject, but that the other wizard hated it to have this pointed out to him. So he just wished him a peaceful day and waited for the other man to leave.
By: Melusina
Category: angst
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Notes: Many thanks again to my beta Mairi. She checked this story for me. If you find any remaining blunders, blame me for them...
Summary The ultimate answer to the question whether Snape is straight or gay: he is both. But he's not bi. Must be magic - but it's not.
Part Two - The Castle
"There you are, pr'fessor. Are ye all right?"
The booming voice startled him so much, that he unconsciously stepped back and for a moment had trouble to regain his equilibrium. A giant man was standing a few yards away from him, looking at him worriedly.
Michael stared at him. Again not sure whether he was awake or dreaming. Jack had no such troubles. He ran up to the man and danced around him, barking enthusiastically. The big man grinned at him and said, "Well, Sirius, it's good to see you back again. Never thought ye would be accompanying Pr'fessor Snape, though." And he stroked the head of the animal for a moment. Then he looked up again and asked worriedly, "Something the matter with ye, Pr'fessor?" and laid his big hand on Michaels arm.
In a reflex Michael drew his arm back and said, "No, there is nothing wrong with me. What is this? Where do you come from?"
The giant's frown deepened. "Well, ye don't seem like y'rself, Pr'fessor. Do ye need something before ye go to Pr'fessor Dumbledore?"
Michael stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Why should I go to him?"
The giant sighed. "Of course, Pr'fessor, I understand that it is all secret. Never mind. I won't tell a soul."
Michael dimly understood that the man was taking him for somebody else.
"I am not who you think you are," he said abruptly.
The giant's frown deepened when he looked at Michael, but he nodded. "Of course, Pr'fessor, always thought that there was more about ye than ev'rybody always says. But I'm worried about ye, Pr'fessor. Won't ye go to Pr'fessor Dumbledore?"
"I'm fine," Michael snapped. "You don't understand. I'm not who you think I am! You mistake me for somebody else!"
The giant gave him a very hard look, then suddenly his brow cleared and he took a quick look around him. "I see. Don't worry, now. I won't tell a soul."
Michael stared at him, unsure what to do. He wasn't sure what to make of this giant, didn't want to make him angry. And he started to be rather curious what it was all about.
"Very well, I'll go and see the professor. Where do I find him?"
"Ye'll find him in 'is office, Pr'fessor. Password's changed though, since last time. It's wing bats now."
Michael wasn't sure whether he was in a dream or not, but he walked in the direction of the castle. When he reached the great entrance, the doors opened and he faced an older lady, with green robes and a pointed hat.
"Severus," she exclaimed. "There you are finally. We were worried about you. But what are you doing in those clothes?"
For a moment Michael stared at her, but there was no sign that she was making a joke or that she was anything other than sincere. It was also obvious that she was waiting for an answer. He remembered what the giant had said.
"I ... I... ehm, I really cannot tell you, I'm sorry about that. It is a secret."
He was strangely afraid that she would ask him questions that he couldn't answer, but instead she seemed to be deeply worried by his reply.
She studied him carefully and then asked in an entirely different voice, "Severus, is everything all right with you? I've never seen you quite like this before."
Michael didn't have a clue how to answer this, so he remained silent.
This didn't seem to surprise the woman overly much, though. She just sighed and said. "Very well, I will accompany you to Albus. I was just on my way to him myself." And with a quick look at the dog "I'm relieved to see Sirius as well." Michael didn't understand this last expression, but didn't say anything. He couldn't for the life of him think what he might have said.
They both walked swiftly through the castle. Michael was very grateful about this, as he seemed to have entered a labyrinth. He looked left and right around him, but tried not to be too obvious about it. Everywhere around him there was colour and movement and for some reason, the ceiling seemed to be the open sky, indoors though he was.
He was startled when the woman suddenly stopped walking in front of some sort of sculpture. "Wing bats," she crisply said.
Michael nearly jumped back when the sculpture started to rotate and revealed a stairway. He joined the woman, however, when she got up to it and wondered where he was going. His question was answered very quickly when he entered a circular room, filled with all the strangest objects. A very old man appeared and held out his hands, exclaiming, "Ah, Severus, I am very happy to have you back, my boy. And Sirius too! Thank you for bringing them up to me, Minerva."
"Yes, well, Headmaster, I just came by to tell you that there is a satisfactory message from Kingsley Shacklebolt. An owl just arrived."
"Thank you, Minerva, I'm relieved to hear it. Now, if you would please leave Severus and me alone? I'm sure you still are very busy," he said, smiling at her.
"Certainly, Headmaster," she answered, and left the room.
When left alone with the old man, Michael felt acutely uncomfortable. The old man seemed to be very friendly, and Michael felt utterly and completely out of place.
"Sir, I'm sorry, this... this is not what you think it is. I'm not who you think I am. I ... I don't know what happened, I... everybody seems to think that I..."
Dumbledore looked at him and the twinkle in his eyes, that had been there all the time, vanished to make way for some concern.
"Severus, my boy, are you sure that you are alright?"
"No! That is - you don't understand! I'm not this man that you are talking about. I'm somebody else! I..."
Dumbledore put his hand on his shoulder in a very comforting way.
"You know, Severus, I am nearly glad to hear it. You have been so imprisoned and caged in all these feelings of guilt and pain, my boy. Even if this causes you discomfort, I am very glad to see that you are finally getting rid of them. Don't be afraid, child. You are quite safe in here."
Jack, who had been idly walking around the room, sniffing his way around, apparently dangerously fascinated by the cage of a bird, chose this moment to pad towards Michael again to raise his big head and lick Michael's hand. Dumbledore saw it and sharply looked at Michael again. The twinkle reappeared in his eye. "Ah, how rude of me, Sirius. Of course you may transform, if you wish," politely addressing the dog.
Nothing happened, of course. Michael stared at the man as if he had gone mad. "But sir, you don't understand. I don't belong in here. I don't understand I stumbled upon this place. This different from any place I have ever been before. I..."
Dumbledore looked a moment as if he was suppressing a smile. He looked from Michael to his dog and back again. Michael didn't know what he was thinking, but he found the look maddening. He stroked Jack's head again. The old professor followed his hand with apparently amused eyes.
But after a moment, Dumbledore sighed. "I understand how hard this must be for you, Severus. And how confused you must be. What I want to know is, if there is something else that's bothering you." Here, Dumbledore looked at Michael very closely and intensely. "What happened at the latest gathering, Severus? Have you been put under any form of torture?"
Michael stared at Dumbledore, unable to answer immediately. The thoughts raced through his head. It was clear that everybody took him for somebody else, someone called Snape, or so. A professor, apparently. It wasn't all a very elaborate joke. The tone of the people was far too serious for that. His double, Snape, must have been on his way to something dangerous, or else these people wouldn't have reacted in such a way. He asked himself what that could be. The concern of the woman, Minerva, and Professor Dumbledore seemed sincere. Snape might well be in danger, then. He didn't know what he could do. Apart from that, he was very curious. He couldn't for the life of him imagine, what kind of a place this was, and he started to wish for some more. While these thoughts chased through his head, it was clear that Dumbledore was waiting for an answer.
"Well," he said hesitatingly, "no, I was not."
Dumbledore sighed relieved. "Any particulars that I need to know about?"
Michael stared at him again, unsure how to answer. "Anything in particular that you want to know about?" he asked, carefully.
"Any new plans made?" Dumbledore grimly asked.
Michael began to feel guilty again. "Not that I am aware of."
"What about the Lestranges?"
Michael started again. The Lestranges. That was one of the names that haunted his dreams frequently as of late. He had dreamt about them last time. Could it be that...?
He tried to recall what the dream had been about. A burning house, something green in the air, screaming, a name, Peter, and a young girl, a child, running away with burning hair.
He shuddered, remembering it, and Dumbledore saw it immediately.
"What?" he sharply asked.
"There was something with a house. It was put on fire. I think everybody in it died, except for one small girl... I'm sorry. It was all very unclear..."
For some reason Dumbledore seemed to worried about him again, but he only said, "Must have been the Doolittles then. Poor people."
Michael didn't know anything to say to that so he kept silent. After a while Dumbledore seemed to shake himself out of his reflection and said, "Well, Severus, if you are sure there is nothing wrong with you, perhaps you should go to your quarters. You cannot walk through the castle in muggle clothes, you know," he chuckled. Michael only stared at him. "Muggles," he thought.
He turned around to walk at the door, wondering how he was supposed to find the rooms of his double.
Dumbledore stared after him dumbstruck. Severus had made a very strange impression. As if he was absentminded, or hurt in more ways then he cared to admit to his employer. Knowing him very well, Dumbledore had known that it would be useless to get more out of him in that respect, but still the man's behaviour perplexed him. But Severus seemed to think nothing about walking through the castle dressed as he was. His relationship with Sirius Black seemed to have changed fundamentally as well. In fact, he would never have thought it possible for the two of them to interact as he had seen them do just a minute ago. Well, he supposed it was a good thing if one could still be surprised. He had a small chuckle in himself, imagining what more might be changing. But it would of course be courting disaster if Severus were allowed to walk around the castle looking like this. So Dumbledore called out after the leaving man, "Eh, Severus, one moment, please," and waved his wand to replace the muggle clothes with the other man's usual robes.
Severus turned around and glared at him, and Dumbledore sighed. But he was too much used to his employee's difficult mood to attach too much importance to Severus' glowering. He knew that transfiguration was by far the man's weakest subject, but that the other wizard hated it to have this pointed out to him. So he just wished him a peaceful day and waited for the other man to leave.