Kayla Pierce stood on the school's front steps with a light breeze lifting her hair. She watched the cars go by for a long moment, then turned and headed towards the band room because practice would be starting soon.

"Gah!" She exclaimed, as an excited Hayley embraced her right when she walked through the door. "What's the meaning of this?!" She demanded, trying to pry Hayley off. Hayley wrapped her legs around Kayla and held on tighter.

"I'm never letting go, m'love!" Hayley sang out, nuzzling her face against Kayla's stomach.

"Ychh! Offa me!" Kayla finally gave one hard shove and she was free from Hayley's grabby hands. Hayley was much like a sloth. She was a bit slow ( in the head ) but could climb trees like a triumphant squirrel-monkey!

"Why'd ya get all clingy?" Kayla asked Hayley. Hayley sighed.

"I'm aching for companionship."

"Well go ache somewhere else. This saddle's already occupied by another bottom."

Hayley made a face. "That was interesting. By who?"

Kayla stared hard across the busy bandroom towards her one and only lover, Frank. "He's so scrumptious! He's the cherry on top, the cotton in the candy, the poopy in my diaper! I WILL marry him!!" Kayla roared and started beating her chest with raging fists. Hayley kicked her then took off running to find Julie.

"Eh!!" Hayley cried, out of breath, as she appeared at Julie's side. Julie stared at her.

"Can I help you? I'm kind of busy here." Julie pointed at a grape laying on the floor. Hayley raised an eyebrow.

"Um, I didn't mean to interfere? Do you two need a room?"

"Nah, we're fine." Julie smiled.

"Well, okay. I'll leave you two alone I guess?" Hayley turned and left them. She sighed. Everyone had a lover except for her. She decided it was time once and for all to find someone. She scanned the room full of victims. She felt much like a lioness stalking her prey and she imagined the bandroom as a watering hole. All the animals were wild and hungry; Even tiny Mister Smith jumped up on a chair and started flinging his poo.

"Hey Hayley." Said a voice. Hayley turned around and there was the grape laying at her feet. She blinked, rubbed her eyes and looked again to make sure it was really there. It was just a normal grape on the floor. How it had got there was a mystery.

"Hey Hayley have you seen my gr-...there he is!" Julie bent down and picked him up, then glared at Hayley. "What were you doing with him? You weren't trying to make any moves were ya?"

"No! He was making the moves on me! I swear!" Hayley exclaimed defensively.

"Who are we talking about?" Kayla asked, suddenly at the girls' side. Julie pointed at the grape. Kayla bit her lip. "That's a grape." She informed them. Julie gasped and covered her ears.

"Shh! He doesn't know that! He thinks he's a turtle!" Julie stroked the grape and started whispering to it to 'calm it down'.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anybody. Anyway, I was going to go get a drink from the cafeteria. Anybody wanna come with me?" Kayla asked, fishing some change out of her pant pocket.

"Ooh me me! Pick me!" Hayley grabbed Kayla's hand and took off in a run.

"Hmm...what do I want..?" Kayla tapped her chin and her eyes scanned over the dozens of soft drink choices. "Maybe a Sprite..nah maybe I want a root beer. No! wait! I want apple juice!"

"Apple juice isn't on there." Hayley said and rolled her eyes. "Hurry up and pick something! I'm starting to grow a beard!"

Kayla tapped her toe. Then her eyes widened as she realized what she wanted. She dropped in fifty cents into the con slot and pressed the 'Dr.Pepper' button. The machine made a little burp noise and nothing happened. "Nuu! It ate my money!" Kayla began kicking the machine then reared back and planted one hard strong kick into it. "Ayy!" She jumped back and started hopping on one foot.

"Maybe we better go.." Hayley grabbed her arm and started to drag her, but Kayla wasn't ready to give up.

"No! I'm not leaving til I get my Dr.Pepper!" She wrapped her arms around the machine and looked as if she were trying to dance with it, but she was only trying to shake the can out. Several students walked past her and gave her a weird look.

"Kayla! Give up! It's only a drink! Nothing to burst a spleen over! Look, you're not even doing it right. Here's how you do it- coke machines have feelings too. Try using manners." Hayley started patting the machine and rubbed it. "May we please have our can Mister or Misses Beautiful Coke Machine who is the king and or queen of all vending machines on the earth?"

Out it popped.