November 6th
Creepy Graveyard, behind a tomb stone.

Dear Journal,

Why do Death Eaters have to be so mean? If it weren't for Lucius bragging about how evil I was, I wouldn't have had to: Get killed, live in the back of a head for nine months, come out in a journal to get killed by the same guy again, finally have some gibbering moron who can turn into a rat become competent enough to get me a BABY'S body, finally find a maniacal servant to give me back my original body, fail in killing the boy who killed me twice, lose the prophecy in which I would have known how to kill the guy, blow my cover, and live in a creepy graveyard without toilet facilities!

And what about the stupid nickname? "He who must not be named"... Come on! The better thing would be: "He Who Was Thought To Be Really Evil But Was In Fact A Nice Guy And Became Minister Of Magic Because He Was Really Charismatic".

Anyways, live isn't the American Dream, if you know what I mean. Whoops! It's time for my Death Eater meeting. Better go early so the don't discover this journal.

Tom

November 7th
Creepy Graveyard
Behind a large tombstone

Dear Journal,

What a crazy Death Eater meeting there was last night. Some guy actually suggested I posess the Minister of Magic and control the country!

Yeah, right. Everyone knows JK said there would be a new Minister next year. And, I mean, posess a fat guy? Hel-lo! I don't want to be fat!

And Lucius, of course, suggested blowing London up. Hello? Can anyone spell "Bad Plan"?

But finally Wormtail(for once) got a good idea. Kill the boy's aunt! So I'm gonna send Bella and Lucius and him to go get her. Hee Hee...

Tom

November 9th
Creepy Graveyard
in the crematorium

It was a disaster, beacause they were GONE FISHING. What kind of family goes FISHING in the summer?

So it's back to the drawing board. I don't know what is gonna happen next.

Oh no! A noise! Stupid dead people. always getting burnt. Don't they know you have to make them mindless zombies? No. They want to be burnt, buried, cyrogenically frozen...

Tom

November 12th
Under the Knight bus in London

Dear Journal,

I've got it! I'll go to Hogwarts, then conjure up a... bison with rabies, yeah, that's it. And I'll make it fight a... a mongoose with wings! Yes! Then I'll go into the school while Albus is distracted and kill the boy! Then I'll make him my mindless slave. And I'll take that girl Hermione with me. She's hot. Maybe I can make her my servant. Hee Hee.

November 13th
Forbidden Forest
Hogwarts

Dear Journal,

It didn't work. The bison went straight for a giant cabbage and ate it, while the mongoose just flew away until it was shot down by a muggle. Now it's all over the news, and the Ministry is everywhere trying to cover it up. Ha!

In other news, Wormtail got trampled by a mad cow. Good riddance. I transfigured the cow into a glass of orange juice. Then I drank it.

Also, Lucius told me there was a hint Cornelius would come back. Now he's going to try and convince me to posess the fat guy.(shiver)

Maybe I should make up a curse to crucify people. Like... Crucificto! That would serve him right.

Ooh, looks like a unicorn is coming. I'm going to try and pet it.

Tom

November 30th
Creepy graveyard again
Death Eater meeting

VOLDY LO-OVES BELLA, VOLDY LO-OVE BELLA...

VOLDEMORT DOESNT WIPE

NOR DOES HE BRUSH HIS TEETH

VOLDY-POO STINKS

December 1st
Creepy graveyard

Dear Journal,

The Death Eaters read my journal again. I crucified all of them with the new Unforgivable curse I told you about, the crucifictus cruse. They'll never bother me again.

I'm going to keep this under safer guard. So I'll have to stop writing a bit, because I need to find a way to crucify anyone who gets near this except me.
I actually think that I should kill Lucius. That way I can actually become nice again. Yeah. I'll go do that now.