Anime Asylum Strikes Back
Chapter One: Reassembling
::BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!::
::A hand swats the alarm clock off of the table::
BMW: Mmph…. Noooooooo, mommy…five more years… ::Rolls over muttering::
::Telephone rings::
BMW: Noooo….I dun wanna gota work….
::Telephone keeps ringing::
BMW: Mmph… ::Grabs the phone and rolls over under the covers:: Bagels with peanut butter…. Hold the eggs…
Star: Brooke, how many times have I told you to lay off that stuff?!
BMW: Starrr….not in front of the readerssss….
Star: ::Sounds aggravated:: Well, they have no business reading this chapter anyway since Tailz isn't writing it…who IS writing this chapter? The grammar's too good for it to be you.
BMW: Or you, miss smarty pants…
((Silence))
BMW: Jeffrey?
Star: No, baka. Jeffrey's a ghost.
BMW: I know that. He's lived in my room since I was 13. Oddly enough, he stopped throwing things right after Tailz disappeared….
Star: …..
BMW: ….
Star: So…how's the Inu-tachi?
BMW: Eh, everyone's fine except Inuyasha.
Star: ::Raises eyebrows:: What happened to Inuyasha?
BMW: ::Grimly:: He stole my bagel.
::Inuyasha limps by the door in crutches, muttering something about finding Tetsusaiga::
BMW: How're the other anime people?
Kenshin's voice: Good morning, Star-dono! Would you like some rice balls?
Star: Eh, no thanks, Kenshin. I was thinking about going out to brunch with Brookie.
BMW: ::Suddenly sits up straight in bed, flinging Shippo away and knocking the knife he was holding from his hands accidentally:: You were? ::Sounds excited:: Oh yay! We haven't been anywhere together in a long time!!! Oooh! Oooh! Inuyasha! Kagome! Everybody! Quick!
::All run in, armed for battle, looking sleep-ruffled::
Kagome: What is it? Naraku?
Naraku: ::Dances by the doorway throwing off his baboon pelt and smiling creepily::
Inuyasha: Is it a demon? It's about time! TETSUSAIGA!
::Tetsusaiga transforms::
Miroku: What is it, Brooke-sama?
BMW: Welllllllll…. ::Big breath:: STAR INVITED US TO BRUNCH!!!!
Everyone: ::Facefault::
Miroku: Brooke-sama, how many times have we told you not to yell unless there's danger?
BMW: SORRY, MIROKU! I mean… sorry. I'm just excited! We haven't been anywhere together in a long time!
Star: It's true, you know. C'mon, guys, will you come?
Kagome: Well, pancakes every morning ARE getting a little old….
BMW: Hey, that's what you get for moving in with someone that ran IHOP.
Sango: I thought your IHOP stood for the Intercontinental Home of Psychopaths?
BMW: ::Sweat:: Well, yeah, but… I like pancakes…
Everyone else: ::Facefault::
Sango: Yeah, I'll come with you, B-chan.
Kagome: Me too.
Miroku: Then I must come along to protect you, Sango.
Sango: Wait a minute—
Shippo: And I'll come to protect Sango from being protected by you, Miroku.
Sango: Oh, okay.
Everyone: ::Stares expectantly at Inuyasha::
Inuyasha: Um, no. I don't think so.
BMW: ::Pulls out a pocket TV from under the bed and pushes the play button:: Hehe, I recorded this a while back…
::On the screen, Tailz puppyfaces::
Puppy facing Tailz: Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaseeeeee, Inuyasha?
Inuyasha: OO NOOO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT TH—oh fine.
BMW: Yay!
Star: Yay! Meet yah at MacDonald's in an hour!
((ONE HOUR LATER))
BMW: Okay, remember, guys. Be inconspicuous.
Inuyasha: ::Scratches the red baseball cap miserably:: I can't hear right….
BMW: Well, I can't hear left. We're even.
Inuyasha: ….. ::Doesn't get it::
::B and the Inu-tachi walk through the door into MacDonald's::
::Star and the other anime characters walk through the door on the other side::
BMW: Star!
Star: B!
BMW: Jimmy! Rhonda! Bob!
Kenshin, Kaoru, and Yahiko: ::Blinkblink::
Star: ::Elbows:: That's you, guys.
Kenshin: Oh! Nice to see you, Brooke-d—I mean, Brookie.
Brooke: :D ::Glomps:: I MISSED YOU GUYS!!!!!
Sano: ….. ::Looks annoyed:: Why are we here again?
Star: For brunch!
Sano: …..?
Star: Oh…uh…sometimes, when people miss breakfast, and it's too early for lunch, they have brunch. Get it?
Sano: No.
Star: Oh, well. What do you want to eat, guys?
Kenshin: Rice?
Kaoru: Fish?
Yahiko: HAMBURGERS!!!
All: ::Shocked expressions::
BMW: ::Walks off::
Star: How do you know about hamburgers?
Sano: ::Smirks:: Cause he stole yours yesterday.
Star: So THAT'S where it went…. ::Smacks Yahiko::
Yahiko: Oww! ::Punches back::
::Skirmish::
Kenshin: Now, now, you two, that's enough…
BMW: ::Walks back with a tray stacked with hamburgers:: C'mon, guys!
::All walk over and sit in booths::
Star and B: ::Begin handing out food::
Star: Heh….Miroku, I thought you weren't supposed to eat meat.
Miroku: Well, see, that's a common misconception—
BMW: Yeah. And isn't it true that you're not supposed to sleep in a comfortable bed?
Miroku: Well—
Star: And aren't you supposed to live completely off the goodwill of others?
Miroku: I do. Brooke-sama is most generous—
Star: Don't pull that! You stole my wallet last time we got together!
Miroku: Um…see, that—
BMW: And I KNOW you're not allowed to grope people. Sheesh, how can you even call yourself a monk?
Inuyasha: Ibe veen ashkinn hem dat qweshuton fur yers.
Star and B: Swallow, Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: ::Gulp:: I said, I've been askin' him that question for years.
Miroku: ::Sweat:: ::Nervous chuckle:: Um… thank you for the food, Brooke-sama?
BMW: Don't pull that! You jerk! ::Waits for reply:: Hey! Reply! You're supposed to say "Loser!"
Star: Uh, B…Tailz isn't here.
BMW: …. ::Bursts into tears:: WHYYYYYYYYYY??? ::Sobs::
Star: ::Patpat:: There, there…. It's all right….
Voice from the kitchen: YOU LOUSY LITTLE IDIOT! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? YOU BURN THE HAMBURGERS, YOU EAT ALL THE FRIES, AND YOU GIVE EVERYONE TWO TOYS IN THEIR HAPPY MEALS!
Another voice: I'm sorry! I just—it's—
Voice 1: NO! NO MORE OF YOUR EXCUSES! YOU'RE FIRED! AND I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DON'T WORK ANY MORE FASTFOOD RESTRAUNTS IN THE STATE!!!
Voice 2: But I'm already not allowed to work in Michigan, Ohio, France, Florida, Cuba, Alaska, Romania, Canada, Hawaii, Georgia, California, South Caro—
Voice 1: OUT!!!
::Kicking sound::
::A person flies over the counter and lands on her face in front of the table where everyone's eating::
Kenshin: Aww, poor thing! ::Hops up to help her up:: Hello there!
Girl: ::Stands up and brushes off her pants::
Miroku: ::Hops up with a grin:: May I be of any assist—
Sango: ::Grabs him by the collar and pushes him back down:: Oh no you don't.
Kaoru: What did you did you do to that man, miss?
Girl: I can't cook. At all.
BMW: Hey, that reminds of—of— WAAAAAAA!!! TAILLLLZZZZZZ!!!
Girl: Yes? ::Looks up from wiping a ketchup smear off the ground::
::Silence::
Inuyasha: ::Stops eating:: Hey, it's the twerp!
B and Star: ::Glomp of the century:: TAILZTAILZTAILZTAILZTAILZ!!!!!!!!
Tailz: ::Gagchokewheeze: Can't—breathe—
B: TAILZTAILZTAILZTAILZTAILZ!!!!
BMW: Oh you're BACK, we missed you so much, where'd you go, why did you run away, how come you never CALLED?
Tailz: Um…. I ran out of nickels for the payphones?
BMW: That's good enough for me! This is great!!! Tailz is back!
Inuyasha and Sano: Darn it.
Star: No, this is wonderful! We're a team again! That means we can call the people at Fangirls, Inc. and get another grant for a new location!
Tailz: But what happened to the old location?
BMW: You know the rules, Tailz. When a founder of a character torturing asylum-thingy leaves, the asylum in put on a 30-day test period, to see if it will still meet the criteria.
Tailz: ….And…
Star and B: We didn't pass.
BMW: Just like your old algebra tests! :D
Tailz: ::Glare::