A/N: Greetings, my dear friends! This is a fic that came to me one night,
while I was lying in bed, so I made it into a thrilling story. Updates may
be less frequent than I 'd like, though, at least until I finish 'Never
Leave' which should be up soon. This one contains no incest (yet), no smut, fluff, or really any sort of romance at all (once again, yet) and it
is my first humor fic in a while, therefore making it a most unlike-me story. But I like it, so I decided to post it anyways. Please review, as my very happiness depends on feedback from all you awesome people reading
this! Thanx!
Disclaimer: This is the only time I'm saying this- I don't own anything! These characters (for the most part) belong to JKR, so don't waste your time on a lawsuit, I have no money anyways...
Chapter 1 Bellatrix Black heard a door slam. Immediately she sat straight up in her bed and rather instinctually grabbed her wand from her bedside table. She had inherited this manor, quite recently, from her great aunt and still had no idea where anything was, so the door could have been right in back of her, and she wouldn't have a clue. "Damned manor," she muttered as she prepared to get out of bed. But then she heard a voice. "Bella! Bella, where are you?" somebody hissed. Instantly, she lay back down and pulled the silken sheets back up to her neck, groaning in annoyance. It was her cousin, Sirius. She heard him bump into something, and then a particularly loud crash and the whispering of "Shit!" 'Probably the most expensive antique vase in the house, of course,' Bellatrix thought. She figured she should probably save the rest of the manor total destruction and she shouted, "Sirius, I'm in here!" A moment later, an 18 year old boy with shoulder length black hair and rather dirty looking robes stumbled through the doorway. "Sirius, what are you doing here?!?!" she exclaimed. "Well, see," he said, looking down at his hands, "I was kinda wondering if I could, you know, stay here for-" "No," Bella interrupted, "definitely not." "Bella, I know we're not the best of friends or anything," "You got that right," she muttered. Sirius continued as though he hadn't heard her, "but we are cousins, and-"
"Oh Sirius," Bella interjected, "quit it with the 'cousins' crap. I don't like you, and you don't particularly like me, so despite the fact that we are quote unquote 'cousins', you are not staying my house!" She pulled the multiple layers of blankets and sheets over her head, in hopes of making her decision seem somewhat final. "Aw Bella, what ever happened to the whole, 'family hospitality' thing?" "It died a slow and painful death by my request," she called up from beneath the quilts. "Bella-" "Sirius, why don't you just go back to Mother's house?" she asked, poking her head out. Sirius looked at her as though she were insane for even suggesting it, "Bella, do you know what that woman would do to me if I ever set foot in that wretched place again?" Bella smiled distantly, "Yes, and I only wish I could be there to see it."
"Bella!" "Why don't you go to James's house?" "James has done enough for me, Bella, you know that!" he replied rather nervously. Bella rolled her eyes, "Yes, I know, but I don't really care! What about Remus, Peter, Lily?" she ticked off people on her fingers in a desperate manner. "Remus is in Paris, Peter is filthy conspirator, and I am definitely not going to my best friend's girlfriend's house!"
"I don't care!" Bella shouted, "Just get out of my already abused
domicile!!!!!" "Please, Bella, pretty, pretty please, with sugar on
top? With sugar and cherries, and chocolate chips, and sprinkles, oh
and peanut butter chips (yum peanut butter!) and-" 'This is pathetic,' thought Bella. "Fine! Fine, Sirius, you can stay here for one month! After that, you are out, and never coming back here ever! You will find yourself a house, and GET A LIFE, YOU HOPELESS LOSER!" she finished. Bella smiled serenely, "Is that very clear, Sirius, darling?" Sirius jumped up and down, illuminating every lamp in Bella's room with a flick of his wand, "Woo-hoo, this is going to be so much fun, Bella! We can make up for all those lost years, wow; it'll be like one big slumber party! I think this calls for some popcorn!" He started to leave the room, but Bella pointed her wand at him threateningly. "Don't. You. Dare," she whispered. "While you are here, you are not to disrupt my current lifestyle in any way at all. Now get in that bed," she concluded, pointing her wand to the identical bed that appeared on the on the other side of the room. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Bella rolled her eyes, "All the other bedrooms in the house are locked, don't go getting any ideas, you sick minded gutter child!" Sirius laughed and jumped onto the bed. "Good night, Bella!" he whispered loudly. "Good night Sirius," she replied firmly. With a sigh, she flicked her wand and turned out the lights.
A/N: Yes, that was quite short, but I have to stop writing due to the fact that I have the sudden urge to go jump in the lake. Don't ask... Now don't you have something you should be doing, like, say, REVIEWING?!?! Oh you're going to review my story, well, how kind of you! ;-) I shall now go jump in the lake. Ciao!
Emily
be less frequent than I 'd like, though, at least until I finish 'Never
Leave' which should be up soon. This one contains no incest (yet), no smut, fluff, or really any sort of romance at all (once again, yet) and it
is my first humor fic in a while, therefore making it a most unlike-me story. But I like it, so I decided to post it anyways. Please review, as my very happiness depends on feedback from all you awesome people reading
this! Thanx!
Disclaimer: This is the only time I'm saying this- I don't own anything! These characters (for the most part) belong to JKR, so don't waste your time on a lawsuit, I have no money anyways...
Chapter 1 Bellatrix Black heard a door slam. Immediately she sat straight up in her bed and rather instinctually grabbed her wand from her bedside table. She had inherited this manor, quite recently, from her great aunt and still had no idea where anything was, so the door could have been right in back of her, and she wouldn't have a clue. "Damned manor," she muttered as she prepared to get out of bed. But then she heard a voice. "Bella! Bella, where are you?" somebody hissed. Instantly, she lay back down and pulled the silken sheets back up to her neck, groaning in annoyance. It was her cousin, Sirius. She heard him bump into something, and then a particularly loud crash and the whispering of "Shit!" 'Probably the most expensive antique vase in the house, of course,' Bellatrix thought. She figured she should probably save the rest of the manor total destruction and she shouted, "Sirius, I'm in here!" A moment later, an 18 year old boy with shoulder length black hair and rather dirty looking robes stumbled through the doorway. "Sirius, what are you doing here?!?!" she exclaimed. "Well, see," he said, looking down at his hands, "I was kinda wondering if I could, you know, stay here for-" "No," Bella interrupted, "definitely not." "Bella, I know we're not the best of friends or anything," "You got that right," she muttered. Sirius continued as though he hadn't heard her, "but we are cousins, and-"
"Oh Sirius," Bella interjected, "quit it with the 'cousins' crap. I don't like you, and you don't particularly like me, so despite the fact that we are quote unquote 'cousins', you are not staying my house!" She pulled the multiple layers of blankets and sheets over her head, in hopes of making her decision seem somewhat final. "Aw Bella, what ever happened to the whole, 'family hospitality' thing?" "It died a slow and painful death by my request," she called up from beneath the quilts. "Bella-" "Sirius, why don't you just go back to Mother's house?" she asked, poking her head out. Sirius looked at her as though she were insane for even suggesting it, "Bella, do you know what that woman would do to me if I ever set foot in that wretched place again?" Bella smiled distantly, "Yes, and I only wish I could be there to see it."
"Bella!" "Why don't you go to James's house?" "James has done enough for me, Bella, you know that!" he replied rather nervously. Bella rolled her eyes, "Yes, I know, but I don't really care! What about Remus, Peter, Lily?" she ticked off people on her fingers in a desperate manner. "Remus is in Paris, Peter is filthy conspirator, and I am definitely not going to my best friend's girlfriend's house!"
"I don't care!" Bella shouted, "Just get out of my already abused
domicile!!!!!" "Please, Bella, pretty, pretty please, with sugar on
top? With sugar and cherries, and chocolate chips, and sprinkles, oh
and peanut butter chips (yum peanut butter!) and-" 'This is pathetic,' thought Bella. "Fine! Fine, Sirius, you can stay here for one month! After that, you are out, and never coming back here ever! You will find yourself a house, and GET A LIFE, YOU HOPELESS LOSER!" she finished. Bella smiled serenely, "Is that very clear, Sirius, darling?" Sirius jumped up and down, illuminating every lamp in Bella's room with a flick of his wand, "Woo-hoo, this is going to be so much fun, Bella! We can make up for all those lost years, wow; it'll be like one big slumber party! I think this calls for some popcorn!" He started to leave the room, but Bella pointed her wand at him threateningly. "Don't. You. Dare," she whispered. "While you are here, you are not to disrupt my current lifestyle in any way at all. Now get in that bed," she concluded, pointing her wand to the identical bed that appeared on the on the other side of the room. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Bella rolled her eyes, "All the other bedrooms in the house are locked, don't go getting any ideas, you sick minded gutter child!" Sirius laughed and jumped onto the bed. "Good night, Bella!" he whispered loudly. "Good night Sirius," she replied firmly. With a sigh, she flicked her wand and turned out the lights.
A/N: Yes, that was quite short, but I have to stop writing due to the fact that I have the sudden urge to go jump in the lake. Don't ask... Now don't you have something you should be doing, like, say, REVIEWING?!?! Oh you're going to review my story, well, how kind of you! ;-) I shall now go jump in the lake. Ciao!
Emily