Everything stopped. They all looked up from where they had frozen. About a dozen mothers were coming their way. "What is this?" asked Hunter.
"We are the United Mothers Against Violence In Fanfics. Otherwise known as UMAVIF." said the first woman who had spoken. "And we have decided that this dramatic action sequence is too violent for our children to be reading."
By this time Spyro, Hunter, Elora and Bianca had climbed down from the air where they had stopped. "Well, what do you want us to do about it?" One of the mothers read off from a clipboard. "We want you to start the sequence over again and we shall stop you when things get unacceptably violent."
"Oh all right, if it'll get you to shut up."
While the scene is rewound, here's a words from our sponsors!
COMMERCIAL:
Ojo (Wearing cool headset while working the camera) Ok! You're on in 5...4...3...2...
Ech- Hi! I'm here to talk to you about an important subject we should all know about.
Roo- What is it this time?
Ech- It's Spam!
Antiroo- Junk mail?
Ech- No! Spam! Send Pizza At Midnight, remember?
Roo, Antiroo-....
Ech-(Slipping them five bucks) Work with me here, ok?
Roo, Antiroo- Oh! Yeah, right! Spam! How could we forget?
Ojo- You guys are burning commercial time, you know.
Ech- Just keep the camera rolling!
Ojo- What does this even have to do with our sponsor? We're sponsored by the company that makes the lava lamps, not Spam!
Roo- Why does a fanfic even need a sponsor?
Ech- Shh! you're not supposed to notice the plot holes!
Antiroo- Be nice if we had a script to go by.
Roo- Budget cuts, we have to improvise.
Ojo- Guys? I'm running out of film here so can you hurry it up?
Antiroo- Attention everyone! We are sponsored by Steve's Lava Lamps and-
(Static)
Now, the scene had finally rewound. While the mothers watched, Moneybags pulled up to the RV. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he laughed evilly. "It's him!" exclaimed Bianca, looking out the window. "And he finally got a mode of transportation that isn't humorous!" Moneybags pulled out a really big gun. "Alright! Are you gonna give me back my RV quietly, or do I have to force you to hand it over?" he demanded.
"Stop! Moneybags, put the gun up and ask for the RV nicely."
Moneybags put the gun up. "Give me back my RV! Please." Spyro shook his head. "No."
"No?!"
"What are you, deaf and stupid? I said no!"
"Stop!"
Spyro rolled his eyes. "What now?" he snapped. The mother shook her finger at him. "Insults are uncalled for. Try it again." Spyro grumbled as he said "Yes, I said no. What are you planning to do about it?"
"I'll show you!" yelled Moneybags as he pulled out the laser cannon.
"Stop!"
Everyone groaned in frustration. "What is your problem lady?!" demanded Hunter. The mother tut-tutted. "Perhaps we didn't make ourselves clear. We want you to resolve the problem of the RV without violence, insults, or irresponsible behavior."
Hunter started banging his head against the RV. "Who asked you anyway?" asked Bianca. The mother looked at her clipboard. "We were alerted of your behavior by an anonymous reader."
"Who is this anonymous reader?" Elora demanded.
"I am!"
They all turned around to see Ripta standing on the RV! "Yes, I called these overly concerned mothers here to stop you fools from reaching the state park in Texas!"
"Um...why?" asked Spyro.
"I'll tell you later." replied Ripta as she jumped down and landed on the possum. Kicking the possum out of the way. "But first, I shall...." she began, pulling out a chainsaw. "You'll never get away with it!" exclaimed Hunter. "These mothers will stop you from being violent!"
"Don't be too sure." said the first mother. It was really Changeling! "Oh, great. Why are you in on this?" asked Akiro. Changeling glared at everyone. "Because Wart messed up my cameo in the musical number, and now I shall have my revenge!"
"Well then, shouldn't you be going after Wart instead of us?"
"Shh!" hissed Ripta. "You're not supposed to notice the plot holes!"
"No, he's right!" shouted Changeling. "That's it! I'm outta here. Someone get my agent on the phone, I want to talk with him about these cameos." she said as she stalked off. "Hey!" Ripta called after her. "You get back here!" Changeling ignored her.
Meanwhile, the mothers were walking off, too. "You guys get back here and prevent them from expressing themselves in a violent and humorous manner!"
"We're going to write a letter expressing our outrage." replied one of the mothers. "Good bye!" Ripta muttered to herself. "Stupid overly concerned parents." She turned on Spyro and pulled out a chainsaw. "Now, to destroy you!"
"Well at least tell us why you're doing this in the first place!" Spyro shouted.
"Do I need a reason to be evil?"
"Well...."
"Shut up, I'm expressing myself."
Suddenly, her chainsaw ran out of gas and died. Ripta smacked it several times and then threw it off to the side. She produced a briefcase which she set down on the ground and opened. Pulling out a long sword she cackled. "Now, then! Say goodnight, Spyro!"
Out of nowhere, lightning came and struck the sword frying it completely. "Hey! Who's writing this story anyway?" demanded Ripta.
"Panthergirl." replied Spyro.
"Hold on a minute..."
MEANWHILE....
Panthergirl sat in her room typing. "Hmm....I wonder what else I can write here that would be completely random?" she asked herself. The computer screen wavered and Ripta climbed out of it. "WILL YOU QUIT MESSING ME UP ALREADY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" she yelled at the top of her lungs, giving Panthergirl a heart attack. Ripta went back into the computer.
"Okay, that was random."
BACK IN THE STORY....
Spyro and Ripta were involved in a duel on a log suspended over molten lava while fighting off lawyers.
"That's better." said Ripta. Spyro flamed off a lawyer. "It would help if we had some weapons." he said. A big pencil came out of nowhere and drew flyswatters in their hands. "Gee, thanks." Spyro replied sarcastically.
"Shut up and fight."
While they dueled, the rest of the cast (possum included) sat in the bleachers eating popcorn.
A lawyer came up behind Ripta. "I'm from the Dewy, Cheatum and Howe law firm. Have you recently..." Ripta whirled around and smacked him with her flyswatter. "Stupid lawyers!" Spyro snuck up behind her and landed a blow with his flyswatter.
Another lawyer approached him. "Did you know you may be eligible for a cash settlement of... OW!!!" said the lawyer as Spyro smacked him repeatedly.
"I'm suing!"
Ripta and Spyro faced each other, dueling with their flyswatters like expert swordsmen. They occasionally turned to fight of an approaching lawyer or two. They were both covered in red flyswatter marks. Spyro sent another lawyer hurling into the lava. "Is it just me, or is this pointless?" he asked. Ripta swatted him again.
"Yep, pretty pointless." she replied. "Uh, I mean...YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME! IN FACT, I AM SO CONFIDENT ABOUT MY ABILITY TO SUCCEED, THAT I WILL PUT THIS DUEL ON HOLD WHILST I PLOT MY REVENGE ON THE AUTHOR!" Ripta screamed. Then, she gained amazing flying powers and flew away.
Spyro battled off the last of the lawyers and climbed into the RV. "Come on guys! Let's go, move it or lose it!" The rest of the cast hopped in.
"Not you!" said Elora, throwing Moneybags out. He glared at her. "I'll get you for that!" Spyro burned rubber as he drove off. They heard a loud explosion behind them. Sabina looked out the back window. "Oh, geeze! He's on that motorcycle and he's throwing land mines at us!" she exclaimed.
"We've got to make it to Texas! There's a law against throwing land mines at RVs there!" shouted Bianca.
"Look! There's the border!" shouted Hunter. Spyro pressed the gas pedal as far down as it would go. Another land mine exploded beside them. "His aim is getting better! Swerve around a little." suggested Elora. Spyro swerved left. A land mine exploded right where they had been. "Wow! Good idea!"
"We're almost there." said Akiro. They were a mere hundred yards from the state line. Suddenly, seventeen landmines flew ahead of them. "LOOK OUT!" everyone yelled. Spyro swerved around the land mines. In slow motion, each of the land mined exploded in a blast of fire, sparks, and dirt. In slow motion, the RV dodged each of them. One of the land mines was about to land directly on them. The camera did a 360 around them, revealing that the possum was hanging onto the back window like a stick-on plush thingy.
Spyro pushed the gas down more and the land mine missed them, right as they crossed the border. "We made it!" he yelled.
Police cars surrounded Moneybags. "You have the right to remain silent..." said the officer as Moneybags was arrested. "Arrest them!" he protested. "They stole my RV!"
"Sir, there has been a warrant out for you here for a long time." said the officer. "For what?" demanded the bear.
"Because we just don't like you."
Spyro slowed down. "Well, that's over with. Look! There's the state park, and look at that crowd!" Sure enough, there was a huge crowd of fans gathered around the road at the state park, cheering for them. Banners were flying, picket signs were waving, people were even throwing roses. Streamers hung from all the trees, and confetti fell like snow "It looks like everyone heard about out road trip." said Elora. "Look! There's all the fan fiction writers!"
Spyro parked the RV and the crowd surged around it. "Let's go up and say a few words!" suggested Bianca. The six of them climbed through the moon roof onto the top of the vehicle. "Hi everyone!" announced Spyro. "Thank you for this wonderful welcome...."
The crowd reached up the side of the RV, grabbed the possum, and carried it off down the road on their shoulders. The six travelers just stood there, jaws dropped. "What was that?" asked Akiro as the shouts of the crowd faded.
"Look! A note!" exclaimed Hunter, picking up an envelope that had been left for them.
"What's it say?" asked Spyro.
"Guys-
Thanks for returning that possum to his natural habitat. In return for your efforts, we have enclosed these gift cards for the state park souvenir stand.
-the really big crowd"
They stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. "We went through all that for gift cards?" asked Spyro. Everyone shrugged. "Oh well. Let's go get some stuff!" They ran off to the souvenir stand.
After using up their gift cards, they made copies of all the pictures they had taken and of their video clips of their trip and sold them to the museum that was across the street from the state park. The museum used the pictures and reserved a space for it, naming it as the story of how the possum returned. Everyone had a wonderful camping trip and ended up getting to keep the RV. Moneybags was sentenced to five years in jail and ended up getting a cell with really tough muscular guys who he had scammed a while back.
They were very happy to see him.
THE END
(Finally, it's over! Well, I was on a sugar buzz that whole last chapter and was just putting in whatever sounded random and funny at the time. Which kinda explains the duel over the lava, doesn't it?)