Disclaimer: Tolkien will not want to claim them when we are through! However, they are still not ours...Aragorn: WOMAN! Are you crazy!!!??? Kath: Must I dignify that with an answer...?
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Aragorn sat with his father, Arathorn on the front porch of their tarpaper shanty in Gondor, whittling on a piece of pine, and spitting tobacco juice into an old, tarnished spittoon.
"Daddy," Aragorn began, "Ah is beginnin' to think that Arwen's Daddy don't cotton to me much."
"Ya'll need to be careful 'round Elrond, Gornie. If'n Ah was you, Ah'd pick some other gal to snog...what about yer cousin? She ain't had a beau since her brother got et by that warg."
"Naw...Ah love Arwen, Daddy. It's jest that when Ah go a courtin' her, her daddy shoots arrows at me. Jest last week he purt near put one in mah rear!"
"Well, son...if'n you insist on that gal, then you gots to do what Ah did to gets her Daddy to let ya'll get married."
"What did you do, Daddy?"
"Why, Ah gots yer mama knocked up, a'course! There ain't no Daddy in Arda would let his little girl go an' have a baby without no husband!"
Aragorn smiled, thinking of the fun he would have being just like his Daddy.
"Whar will we live, Daddy?" Aragorn asked, suddenly worried about having to actually work for a living.
"Son, you and yer new bride ken live right here, with me! Why, Ah'm shur she won't mind...jest look at this place!" he replied, sweeping his arm in front of him, indicating their estate.
The rocky, barren lawn swept down to the edge of the forest, littered with broken wagon wheels, and empty wine barrels.
"Thanks, Daddy! Ah'm goin' to fetch her and knock her up right now!" Aragorn yelled, jumping to his feet. He ran and jumped into his carriage, which was painted a bright red, had oversized wheels, a sword rack, and sported a big Gondor flag across the back window. The carriage had flames painted on the sides, of which Aragorn was especially proud. His two dogs jumped in with him, sticking their heads out of the windows, tongues hanging out of their mouths.
Arathorn smiled, watching his son drive off, thinking that the boy was growing into a man.