Hi! I'm Saintbeast. Least that's what's written in my underwear. Anywho, this is my very first fanfic. ( YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!) So it's probably pretty rough by most of your standards. But I won't let that detour me!! (Clenches fist) I'm open to any and all complements, complaints, and critiscm. Please, allow me to be your emotional doormat.
Alrighty, this story o'mine takes place in the original 13 episode OVA.
Disclaimer: If I did own Tenchi, trust me, Ryoko and Tenchi would have hooked up long, long ago. Since I don't this will have to do.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Revelations
By Saintbeast
"Come here, little Ryoko." Her voice was so beautiful.
A small, pudgy toddler appeared, bounding into the woman's arms. Everything seemed so calm, so right, there in her embrace. Ryoko looked up at her elegant round face, seeing her kind eyes and warm smile before tucking her face back into the woman's warm body, feeling her heart beat.
"Momma, momma?"
"Yes, little Ryoko?" Her voice as sweet as a summer breeze.
"I love you, Momma"
"mmm, I love you too, baby"
The woman pulled her body in closer. Momma, momma Ryoko thought as she released a contented hum. But... Wait something changed, something was wrong. No, No this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Ryoko looked at the face as she hurriedly tried to push away. The face, it wasn't the same anymore. It was long now, and the once kind eyes now narrow, cold, and calculating. But it was the smile that was most disturbing. It was so unnatural, all wrong, a sick parody of joy and love. That smile sent a cold, terrifying chill through her whole body. It was worse even then the words that followed, "I've got big plans for you my little creation..."
"STOP! Let me good Ryoko jolted awake in her bed. "No, it was just a dream. He's gone!" Ryoko and the sheets of her futon were soaked in a cold sweat. She pulled her knees in toward her chest, burying her face in her arms and cried. Ò No. I'm not his puppet anymore, he's dead, he can't," Ryoko choked out between her sobs. But both her words and crying were quite, barely a whisper. They never made it past her own ears, and often they lived not even that long.
Long ago Ryoko had learned the value of silence. Taught by Kagato with pain and fear she knew that emotions were for the weak. She knew that no one could ever see her so weak, no one could know how defective she truly was. Pain, repulsion, hatred would be the only result, they would turn away from her, He would turn away from her.
Ryoko stared off into the darkness as she remembered her lessons...
...He would call for her, some task needing done, a new way to emphasize his control over her. Her words, her tone, they never pleased him. She could see it then, that cold rage burning behind his cool eyes. He would scream at her then, tell her how she sickened him, how she was a waste, how he should save himself some trouble and kill her now.
She would watch his eyes, never looking away. She would always see that cold rage begin to flicker and burn. She could feel it in her stomach know, an overwhelming fear. It lurched up and swallowed her down to the very tip of her toes. Her body would begin to tremble, she would plead for it to stay still, but it wouldn't listen. Ryoko was terrified now as she heard the sob escape her throat, realizing that her tears had already broken free and were now running down her face. She knew it wouldn't be long now.
THERE! There it was. That first strike, the first blow. Then came another one. Harder this time, deeper. And again, and again. Each strike coming faster now, harder now then the one that preceded it.
Instinctively she would try to defend herself. Drawing her legs tight against her body and covering her head with her arms, as she felt the warm, thick fluid run from her nose and mouth. But it didn't really matter, He would always continue until she was to exhausted to hold her legs and arms so tight against her body, until she was to tired to defend herself.
Then he would stop and stare down at her for what seemed like an eternity before he began his assault again. Though it was different now. The hits came slower. They no longer came randomly, but in a disturbing rhythm. Each blow was precise now, each was placed.
Laying there, accepting the hits, unable to stop him, Ryoko would feel the numbness begin to spread. Starting at the back of her head the numbness would seep over her entire body, slowly enveloping her. This was her final defense, it was all she had left and she would always welcome its coming.
Then, lying there in those moments, Ryoko would see her. Those kind eyes and warm smile. Ryoko knew that she loved her. Ryoko knew that in her one surviving memory, the woman wasn't lying when she told her she loved her. She couldn't understand then, why did she leave her? Why doesn't she make him stop? Why won't she save her? Why?, The question pulled at Ryoko's emotions, she felt as if her heart would burst.
The tears would slowly run from her eyes, mixing with her blood, spreading it even more around her face. No matter how slight the tears, no matter how silently they ran he would always see them.
"You wretched, disgusting little creature! Why can't I make you understand? What must I do to teach you! You defective..." Then a smile would cross his face. Always the same smiles, that smile that had been the forbearer to so much pain and hurt in Ryoko's life. That smile scared her in a way that nothing else she had ever known or seen could scare her. More even then the rage burning in his eyes, more then the blows. That smile threatened to swallow her very sanity, her very humanity, wholly and completely.
No, please, stop.
"If you wish to act like a weakling perhaps I should show you a weaklings life, eh?" he would say, a dark laugh pouring out from that smile, as he pulled her up by her neck.
Ryoko remembered how heavy he had always felt when he leaned into her. His full weight was too much for her. Ryoko would groan as he pressed his body harder against her child's form, pinning her against a wall. She would close her eyes and try to think of the woman, the one who loved her. Another chilling laugh filled the room as he licked the blood from her cheek, from her lips, slowly forcing his tongue into her mouth. His hand grasping the inside of her thigh, slowly moving up-wards...
Quickly Ryoko squeezed her eyes shut trying desperately to do the same with her mind. She didn't want to remember anymore.
"Why can't I just forget!?!"
Only silence answered her anguished cry.
The woman. Yes the woman. Her memories of the woman came to her mind now. The woman that in so many of her thoughts and dreams she had called mother, she didn't want to lose those. She couldn't. Her memories of the woman had always given her strength. What would have happened if she didn't have that memory on all of those days of her hellish enslavement? She didn't ever want the answer to that question.
In all of her known past, the woman was the only pure thing. The only thing left untainted. That woman; the one with the kind eyes and warm smile, the one that had held her so close, the one who was so soft and gentle, the one Ryoko knew loved her, the one she had called momma so many times in her mind; Was not Washu. Couldn't be Washu, ever! Ryoko knew it, as she knew the sky is blue. She knew it deep inside of herself. Never could Washu had been that woman, there was no way. But why then, her mind continued to ask, did her heart still wonder?
"Ugh," Tenchi groaned as he turned to see the clock. It was getting late already. Sasami probably had breakfast about ready, and soon the rest of his odd little family would be awake also. He needed to get up, he should get up, but he was so very tired.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The night had been a long and tiring one. His dreams wouldn't allow him any real rest. Scratching his head he tired futilely to remember them. He could only remember how strange they had felt, almost like a dream in a dream. They seemed to tease him now, pulling at the back of his consciousness, daring him to grab them.
"Oh well," he mumbled, stretching his back as he stood up. He was awake now; he might as well stay awake. Numbly he gathered his clothes for a quick morning bath. At the back of his mind he wondered where Ryoko was. Most nights he awoke to find her hovering above him. Before his thoughts could bring the question into full light, however, he pushed it out and away. Deep in his mind he was fearful of where such thoughts would take him and his little oddball family.
Tenchi turned and looked back out over his room. It felt like he was forgetting something, but he had everything he needed. Today was starting to be a very strange morning. Shrugging the feeling away Tenchi slid back the door. Stepping out into the hall, already painted in a golden sunlight, he was barely able to kept himself from falling over Ryoko.
He just managed to retain his balance after a few moments of frantically flaring his arms. Still holding on to the doorframe for balance, He breathed a sigh of relief. He looked down at Ryoko with a seriously puzzled look reflecting his confusion. She had never tired anything like this before.
"What is she up to now?" he quietly said to himself, realizing as he said it that she truly was asleep. His expression softening, he looked down at her. He would never admit it to anyone, especially Ryoko herself; she would use it as ammunition against Ayeka, but he liked to watch her sleep. There was something calming, something reassuring in seeing her take her soft slow breaths. He smiled thinking of the past times he had seen her looking so peaceful.
The smile slowly faded from him as he continued to study her still form. Something wasn't right here. He couldn't place it but he knew he could feel it, something was different. He watched tentatively, trying to remember what it was that had disturbed him. Her breath slowly moving in and out. There, there it was again his mind understood what his eyes had captured this time.
She...She was shaking. The movement that caught his attention now gone, she trembled only slightly. So slightly that Tenchi wasn't completely sure whether or not his eyes were just playing tricks on him. He took a slow step toward her sleeping form. She was laying on her side, her knees pressing hard against her breast. He couldn't see her face; she had pushed her chin so tight against her neck. Was she in fetal position? His mind questioned, seeing her arms held tight against her sides.
A sickness rose out of the pit of his stomach and washed over him. What was wrong? What had happened? Tenchi reached down and was startled, her skin was wet and her clothes felt damp. He looked out over her skin, he could see it glisten. A light sweat covered her entire body. Tenchi shifted his weight and looked down at her face.
Ryoko's eyes were swollen. They seemed almost black as he looked at them. Her lips were twisted in agitation. Thoughts racing through his mind, Tenchi reached down hurriedly to gather her in his arms. He would take Ryoko to Washu, she would know what to do, she would help. He would look after Ryoko, he would help her, he would care for her. Tenchi's loves and loyalties knew only one condition, he would not lose her.
Suddenly Tenchi found himself on the floor, before he could act on any of his thoughts. Blinking in shock as he looked down at his blacken and scorched shirt, which still smoked.
"DON'T TOUC - TENCHI!?!" Ryoko screamed out, in true shock and horror. Before Tenchi could respond she was upon him. Her hands frantically searched his head and chest for the wound which didn't exist. "Tenchi...I'm sorry...I...I was asleep...I didn't...please..." Ryoko sobbed out, making less sense as she went along. Her shoulders lurched violently in their frames. Tears leapt from her chin as they ran from her horribly bloodshot eyes. Her breath was going ever shorter, heralding hyperventilation.
"Ryoko...Ryoko?" Tenchi said as he fought desperately to capture Ryoko's wrists. "Ryoko...RYOKO!" Tenchi gave her arms a gentle shake. Slowly she seemed to calm down. She let her arms go limp as she stared into his face, seemingly frozen. Tenchi stared back into her eyes. "I'm alright Ryoko. You didn't hurt me. See, I'm fine, OK?"
Her eyes stared at him blankly as she nodded. He tried to hide it but a frown crossed his face as he stared into those two still pools of amber. "Come on Ryoko, I think we should see Washu."
He was glad to see those amber pools flicker back to life, but he was upset by the words. "What do you mean? Why should we go to Washu?" She had quickly stood up putting her back to him as she hurriedly wiped away her tears. Her movements seemed stiff, forced to him.
"Because Ryoko, you're damp with sweat, you can barely open your eyes!"
She spun around on her heels quickly clasping her hands in front of her. "Oh, Tenchi! You're so very sweet to worry about me!" She tried using her most playful tone, falling horribly short. ÒI just had a little to much sake last night, that's all"
"Ryoko, please stop. Don't do this."
"Well I just don't know what you mean by that." Tears welled up behind her eyes now. Tenchi reached out to her, "Oops, I...I gotta go now. Busy ya know."
"Ryoko wait, please Ryoko, go for me." But his words came to late, Ryoko was already gone.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why had she come back here? She sat there on the warm grass wondering. What would she say when she went back? She must have looked awful, and she had acted like such an idiot. Why did she leave him? She didn't want to, she wanted to tell him. But she couldn't, she can't. If he ever found out, if he ever knew how weak she was, he could never love her, he would hate her. But she couldn't not tell him; he is so kind, he wouldn't hate her. She didn't believe it though, all the things she had done, and the things Kagato had done. She was damaged goods, he could never accept her, and She knew it.
"AAAARRRGG," Ryoko's blast sent a once large and mighty stone showering down as pebbles and dust before the cave's entrance. "DAMN!! Damn it!" Ryoko cursed the cave, the trees, the earth, life it's very self. When would her past leave her alone? Why did it refuse to cease haunting her? Her mind betrayed her, seeming to enjoy bringing her such torturous thoughts and memories. Why wouldn't they just let her be happy? Why couldn't she be happy?
"Ryoko." The voice started her, but she resisted the urge to turn around. No one else would see her tears today.
"Washu, go away."
"Ryoko, please we need to talk."
Ryoko's face was hot, she swatted at her tears. She turned quickly to see the owner of the voice. "Damn it, Washu, I'm not in the mood for you. GO..." Ryoko's voice dropped to stunned silence as her eyes focused on an adult Washu's face only inches from her own.
Washu looked lovingly into her daughter's eyes. Her daughter had been through so much, could she ever forgive fate for what it had done to her? Would she ever be able to hold her little Ryoko again? Her little Ryoko, her little Ryoko. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she voiced the words, "Little Ryoko"
Ryoko's breath seemed to catch in her throat, her eyes looking lost. A small voice cleared her lips, "Momma?" Again on that day another tear left her eye. Quickly her eyes came back into a set glare, as her lips turned to a sneer. Wiping the tear away she turned back to the cave.
Washu's weak smile slowly died as she watched her daughter slip away from her. She had to do something; she would lose her if she didn't. She would not lose another child, she had just gotten a second chance with her, She would not let her walk away from it.
"Ryoko I have so much to tell you. I don't know where to begin." Pausing, she looked at the ground. How could she tell her how she felt? If only Ryoko would open her mental link she could show her, let her feel it for herself. Sighing she continued, "Do you know what scares me Ryoko?" She continued, not really expecting her to answer, "Not being able to control the situation. Seeing something broken and not being able to fix it. Seeing you and me like this, it tears my heart Ryoko.
"Don't you realize it was you, Ryoko, that kept me sane all those years I was trapped by Kagato? I knew that I had to get back to you, that I had to help you, save you." She didn't want to push that too much. She knew how proud her daughter was.
Ryoko snorted and let out a sarcastic, "Hmpf, yeah, you did a real good job there. Thanks for everything!"
Washu cringed at the retort, and her eyes shown how deep the remark had truly cut. But she continued on, she had to. "You were all I could think of. Nothing else mattered. For 2,000 years I worried about you, feared for you, but I dreamed also. I... I thought we could escape and go somewhere safe. Some place that was nice and warm, some where you would feel love and happiness."
Washu's voice wavered for just a second as she continued on, "I thought, that I would hold you again. You would call me momma again." Washu tried desperately but she couldn't hold it back any longer, her voice cracked then gave out. Tears seemed to fall from her chin with unmatched speed. She felt the lump begin to burn her throat.
Washu couldn't believe it; she was being so open, so vulnerable. She felt naked before the onslaught of the world. Rarely had she ever been so candid with her emotions. She fought back the lump in her throat, trying to turn back the tears before they broke through her eyes. "I love you, baby."
Ryoko felt the pressure in her throat build as she mouthed the words Washu had said. Damn her! DAMN HER!!! Her mind screamed out in anguish. WHY? Why was she saying all of this?
Washu had brushed away her tears, and her voice was calmer now as she began to speak. "I know nothing I say can give you back all of those years. Nothing I dream can take away all the pain and bad things that happened, and nothing I do," Her voice wavered, again betraying her emotions, Ò Nothing I do can let us go back to what we were. I'm sorry Ryoko. I do truly love you."
For a moment the air seemed to stop moving.
"Bullshit, Washu. You don't care." Washu was visibly hurt. The remark had seriously hurt her. Good, she deserved it. How could she? How could she talk as if she ever really cared? How dare she infect the one pure memory, the only thing pure that she possessed? Like she ever cared about her. Yeah, right. "Don't feed me that line of bull. You never cared about me! Never loved me!" She spat her words at Washu, to angry, to confused to feel the tears in her eyes. ÒI was just one of your little experiments. Just a guinea pig for all your tests. You just made me 'cause you got bored one day! I'm just some one you can make fun of; you're just like Ayeka! But at least she doesn't pretend to care! If you did love me you wouldn't do things like that! That's not how it's supposed to go!!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Tenchi was afraid, truly afraid. A fact that filled him with even more fear. He just couldn't understand it. It was such a weird and strange anxiety, filling his stomach and skipping along his spine.
He had felt such fear only once before in his life. It was just before he had lost her. He couldn't save her. He had failed the one he most loved. His father's words of solace had brought no comfort to him, that cold day his mother left his life.
He began a futile search of the house, always drawing progressively nearer to Washu's lab. Upon reaching the door he hurriedly rushed in yelling for the diminutive genius. Vainly he searched the seemingly endless maze of planets and dimensions that comprised her lab for what seemed a lifetime to him.
Giving up he raced outside to continue his search alone. He thought of enlisting the help of the other girls, Mihoshi and Sasami would be more than happy he knew. As much as he liked her, though, he knew the ditzy cop would most likely be more a hindrance than help, and he couldn't ask an eight year old to blindly wander the woods. As for Ayeka...he didn't have time to deal with her right now.
He tried to move quickly in the day's heat. He made sure to check Ryoko's favorite places, but... There was so much ground to be covered... But he would find her. She was okay, he knew it. He would find her and things would be fine. He didn't know how or why, yet, but he knew it. He had to find her. He would find her. He would never, could never give up on her. Hold on Ryoko! Hold on!!
----------------------------------------------------------------
"No Ryoko, no it's not like that. Please I swear!" Tears ran from her eyes at an impossible speed. Her voice sobbing she said, "I don't mean to hurt you. Really I don't its just-I feel... I never meant to hurt you Ryoko. I told you what I dreamed of...but... everything turned out so differently. It wasn't like my dream."
The world seemed to grow still and silent. Even the birds seemed to respect the silence that had now befallen the women.
"I'm sorry. That's why I tease you Ryoko. Our lives where supposed to be so happy, so joyous. But you just see me as some awful mad scientist, you hate me. I'm not trying to blame you, you have good reason to hate me, I know. Please Ryoko, I'm sorry I really am." A sigh echoed from deep within her, "I don't expect you to understand the feeling, I...I just wish you could."
Ryoko stared blankly into the cave. What should she do now? She felt so confused. Her mind went back to that day in the onseen. She had tried explaining to Ayeka why she teases Tenchi so. Ayeka didn't understand, she had only laughed at her. Could Washu really understand? Could she feel the same? Did she care? Ryoko's head seemed to be spinning. No, she couldn't be telling the truth, she didn't love her. This was just some cruel game, a dirty trick. Washu was not the woman in her memory. Was she?
"Washu, I... I want to be alone right now okay?"
Washu could almost feel the confusion her daughter was feeling. How should she answer? She didn't want to leave her. Finally they were getting somewhere, they couldn't stop now. But she couldn't push; she would only drive her further away again.
"Alright Ryoko....But...I-we...we can't leave it like this. Please promise me we will finish this."
Ryoko stared out past the grass; it was starting to get cool now. The wind ran through the grass as it made the cave whistle.
"Yeah, Whatever. I guess...guess we have to, sooner or later."
Washu turned, it wasn't much, but perhaps it was as much as she could ask for right now. She headed back toward the house as a new tear slid from her eye. Why? Why couldn't it just be like it was? She felt that old pain again, that pain of complete helplessness.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Where could she possibly be? It was only a few hours until the night would settle in. What if something had happened to her out there? What if she had left? No, she wouldn't do that. She couldn't, not after everything they had been through together. She wouldn't abandon them after all of that, she wouldn't abandon him. Tenchi's blood ran cold for a moment.
But what if she had?
What if she never returned? He might never find her, never be close to her again. He couldn't live...
NO! He would find her. She wasn't gone.
"RYOKO!! CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE, WHERE ARE YOU?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
What was she going to do now? She couldn't just sit out here all night. Not that it really mattered anyway, they wouldn't miss her. But... what if they did? She didn't know anymore. Things seemed to be changing so fast.
What would she say to Washu? What could she say? Tenchi, What about him? She didn't want to lie, not to him. But if she told he would hate her so much. He could never love her if he knew everything. He was so kind and gentle, so innocent. She couldn't destroy that innocence.
To whatever spirits or gods there may be she made a meager plea, "Please, tell me what to do"
------------------------------------------------------------
Thank God, he had found her. She hadn't left them, she hadn't abandoned him. She was here.
"Ryoko! Are you alright? Please come on, let Washu see you. She'll help, and I'll...I'll stay with you, um, if you want me to." He reached for her hand, pulling her toward him.
The air rushed into Ryoko's lungs. She hadn't heard him. How could she be so distracted as to not hear him approach? Then she realized he had come after her, he must care. He had to. She had to do something; she couldn't just stand there.
"Tenchi, no. Wait, please. I have to...I need..." Her voice trailed off to nothing. She had to tell; she wanted to, she knew that now, but how?
Even though she refused to meet his gaze he continued to look into her eyes. His face shown confusion and concern. "Tell me. What do you need?"
He saw the tears well up in her eyes. He knew how proud a woman she was; still he wanted to hold her. To comfort her, to soothe her. He wanted to feel her body close to his as he told her everything would be okay.
But she pulled her hand from him and turned away.
"I need...I need to tell you Tenchi, tell you everything. But...But..." Her shoulders lurched violently and despite her best efforts a sob could be heard. "You'll hate me Tenchi, you'll hate me. You'll never love me; you'll be repulsed by me. I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I know I'm weak; I never wanted you to see me this way. I'm sorry, but please don't leave me, not yet, please. I have to tell you. I don't want to be weak, I don't mean..."
"Ryoko," Tenchi stepped in toward her. He stood against her, his chest pressed against her back. His arms were folded across her shoulders. His cheek rested on her ear. He breathed in her scent of cherry blossoms.
Ryoko stood motionless. Her eyes were wide as her lungs held their breath. What was he going to do? An old fear stirred in her stomach. No, Tenchi was kind, he was sweet. He would never hurt her, not intentionally. He didn't want to hurt her. But he had never seen how truly weak and pathetic she was, though.
"Ryoko you are not weak. Don't you ever say that, don't even think it ever again. Tears don't make you weak. Emotion doesn't make you soft. Emotion makes you strong Ryoko. You fill everything you do with a passion, Ryoko. You're not weak; you're the strongest person I have ever known. Ryoko if I had just a fraction of your strength I could have told..."
He quickly broke off, looking out to the trees. His eyes shimmered with tears hidden just under their surfaces. He tried to make his arms let Ryoko go as he stepped back, but they ignored his command, as did his legs. So he stood not knowing what to do.
Ryoko slowly pulled forward out of Tenchi's grasp. It took all of his strength to keep his arms from refusing to let Ryoko leave them. She turned to him. Staring into his eyes. The look of questioning nearly killed him. He pulled his eyes away and looked toward the ground.
She stepped toward him lowering her head to capture his eyes. She wouldn't let him look away. "Told what Tenchi?" He tried to look away again, but she would not let his eyes from her own. "Tenchi!! Please, tell me!"
"I... I could have told you... told you how much I love you. -You know, all of you. You guys are my family. I love you." He finished in a whisper.
She pulled back. She was a fool, how could she think he would love her? "Yeah, Thanks." She looked out across the grass. "Tenchi, I think I'm going to go home now, okay?"
He watched as her body flickered, she was beginning to teleport.
"WAIT!!" His scream echoed in the trees. Stumbling he rushed to her, nearly falling into her. His arms wrapped tightly around her body, happy to feel her so close again. Tenchi could fight it no longer the tears had won out. Now they ran free down his face.
"Ryoko, don't leave me! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied. I lied to you. I don't know why. Just please don't abandon me! Of all times not now." A chuckle came garbled in his sobs.
She stood frozen in shock, simply allowing Tenchi to hold her. What was happening? What did he mean? Slowly, forcibly she pushed Tenchi back, his hands almost clawing to stay near her.
"I don't understand. Tenchi, please, what are you saying?"
He blushed at the realization of his tears, but he made no attempt to conceal them. "I mean I should have said- wanted to say that I could have told you how much I love you. Only you."
He was disturbed by the hurt he saw in her eyes. She was supposed to be happy.
No, not now. Fate had such a sadistic sense of humor. Why did he have to tell her now? Why not before or not at all? She knew she had to tell him her past, tell him the truth. How cruel, when he finally tells her he loves her, he'll hate her. He'd be repulsed, sickened. It would have been better had he never told her, then she never would have known what she lost.
"Why? Why are you telling me now?"
"I'm sorry, I'm the weakling, I'm the coward. I was scared to tell you, afraid of hurting the others, afraid... afraid of feeling something so strong for some one else. I love you Ryoko, I... I think that I always have and I know I always will."
Ryoko's hand slowly reached out for his face, brushing away a tear, "Don't say that. You don't know. I still have to tell you, when I do you'll regret having said all that to me. You'll feel guilty because you're realize you can't live up to your words. So, my Tenchi, I'm telling you now it's okay, I won't hold you to them"
Tenchi grasped her hand in his, looking confused. "Ryoko you don't have to tell me anything. But even if you do there is nothing you or anyone else could say to change how I feel. I swear, Ryoko, nothing."
She looked at him, wishing she could believe his words.
"I had a dream Tenchi, like I always have..."
-------------------------------------------------------------
The sun was setting in the evening sky, and before the witness of the world, she had told him. She told him of the things that Kagato had done. But that which brought the most pain was telling the things she, herself had done. She gave to him the past she so feared.
Oh Tenchi, please don't hate me. She prayed in her mind. Please love me; I know I don't deserve it. I'm weak, I'm defective, I'm all used up, but please mean what you said.
He sat, the guilt and sadness weighed down on him. All the things that had been done to this naturally cheerful soul. He should have been able to protect her, to save her. Why couldn't he? The things Kagato had done, he didn't save her. For the second time he had failed the one he most loved.
She saw it now, she was right. He hated her. He was repulsed. Oh Tenchi, please no. Say something, anything. Why did he just sit there?
"You hate me now Tenchi."
"What?" Pulled out from his self-loathing he jerked up. "Of course I don't. You're wrong, I meant my promise."
"You don't have to lie Tenchi. I told you I wouldn't hold you to your promise. I know I'm just damaged goods, right? A bit beyond repair, right?" A sad smile pulled at her lips.
"No!! You're not Ryoko! Those things that you did you had no control over. It wasn't you it was that bastard! ...Everything else, that doesn't define you, it wasn't your fault. You never asked for, never deserved, anything he did to you. I do love you Ryoko. I'm not repulsed, or sickened by you. I love you no matter what. Nothing in the past or future will change that."
"Yeah, right. That's why hate rests in your eyes, 'cause you love me'?"
"No, it's not you Ryoko. It's...I-I should have saved you! I should have been there for you! You pain is because of me, it's my fault. I didn't stop him; I didn't save you" His words ended in a broken whisper.
"What are you talking about? You weren't even born yet. Besides you did save me. You released me from the cave, you showed me love and happiness, you gave me a family."
"No!" Tenchi fell into her. He buried his face in her chest, tightly wrapping his arms around her as he sobbed. "No, it is my fault. I failed you! Just like I failed her! I couldn't save either of you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. My fault, my fault."
Tears ran from her own face as she put her arms around his head, gently stroking his hair. "Who Tenchi? Who else?"
"My mom, I loved her, I should have saved her. Now I did the same thing to you. You both suffered because of me, I failed you both." His tears soaked into her dress.
"No Tenchi, you didn't fail her. Your mother died, Tenchi. It wasn't your fault; it wasn't anyone's fault. You loved her and she loved you."
"No, she left because I let her down. Now I failed you too, Ryoko." He lifted his head looking her in the face, letting his arms hold her loosely. ÒI love you, you are most precious to me, but I never told you. You made me remember love. You gave me yours unconditionally and I was too scared to do anything. Please Ryoko, forgive me. Please Ryoko, please. I love you. I'm such an idiot, don't leave me. I won't let you down ever again. I swear! Don't go away! Don't leave me. Please. I love you Ryoko."
He loved her. No, she had to be dreaming, but she wasn't. He meant it. She could see it. There in his eyes, they seemed to reflect her own now. He had meant it, he loved her. She grabbed him in her loving chokehold, "Tenchi. Oh yes, yes! You mean it. I love you!"
A tear of joy left his eye as he struggled for breath, "Ryoko... please... can't... breath."
------------------------------------------------------
He loved to watch her sleep. So peaceful, so angelic. Her body against his, head resting on his shoulder, she breathed softly in and out. Her sweet breathe tickling his neck.
They had sat together the rest of that day, watching the stars dance and shine against the inky backdrop. The crickets softly played accompaniment to the show, which seemed to be just for them.
The day had been a long, emotionally draining day, to say the least. Ryoko had quickly fallen asleep in Tenchi's embrace. Her arms were still wrapped around his body, holding him tightly.
Tenchi sat looking at her face. He smiled. He wasn't sure what had triggered him to tell Ryoko his true feelings for her, or even more, his grief over his mother. But whatever it was, whether or not he ever knew, he was thankful for it. Everyday he would be thankful for it. And he would keep his promise. He would never let her down again. He won't fail again, then she'll stay, she wouldn't leave him.
He looked out to the east. He didn't know what the sun would bring tomorrow, but it didn't matter, he had her. Smiling he stroked her hair. Leaning his head against hers, "ÒI love you," he said closing his eyes. He didn't know what tomorrow would show, but nonetheless he knew it would be a long day, and he needed his sleep.
Epilogue
Washu turned the monitor off with a sad smile. She hated to use it like that, but she was Ryoko's mother after all. Didn't that give a little lean way when it came to violations of privacy? Washu didn't completely buy the excuse but it was the best she could come up with.
As a scientist, however, she was greatly intrigued. The drug she had slipped Tenchi last night should have loosened his inhibitions but, still. There was such an extreme reaction. Not to mention Tenchi had almost as many mental hang-ups as her daughter.
She began to wonder if, just perhaps, there wasn't a stronger connection to Tenchi and Ryoko, then just his Jurai power and her gems. It was definitely a theory worth pursuing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well I sure hope you liked it because, if you didn't, you probably just wasted ten or fifteen minutes of your life that you will never get back. Just think of it. Our short little lifespan wasted reading someone else's piece of crap story. Yup, 70, 80 years maybe, and there went just a little piece of it. Gone. Gone forever. Never gonna get it back. (WHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!) PLEASE, don't hate me! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!! But of course if you liked it then it was time well spent. And I feel very honored that you allowed those few short moments of your life.
Okay, Seriously, If you're not already tired of me and wish only to kill me, Please Review. Like I said this is my first fic and I really want to know what people think. No matter what you think, like it, love it, hate it, loathe it, please just tell me. Allow me just a few seconds more of you time to review.
P.S.
Hooray for my fellow anime lovin' freaks!!
Try not to think too much,
it greatly impairs your ability to have fun!!
: ) 8- :