Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha, and, Thank God, we don't own the Wizard of OZ, either.
[Chapter Three- If Fido Only Had a Brain- Start]
Recap: "Oh, I already know! I just wanted to tell you I was going! Good bye little Munchkins!" And with that, Kagome trotted off, ignoring the little spiral circle and getting straight to the road. Whispers and murmurs trailed off in the wake of the ruby slippers: "Gosh, she called us little! The nerve!" "Cannot believe her!" "My lord, did you see that? Skipped the circle completely!" "Such a rude little bugger!" "Good riddance to her I say!"
While skipping off on the Yellow Brick Road, the back of Kagome's head met with a tiny shoe flying at high velocities. She responded with a one-fingered gesture towards the wee folk, her face still all smiles as she turned back around and continued on her way, hand held to the bump on her head. She soon found herself being bombarded by seemingly thousands of tiny shoes, each brightly colored, either oddly shaped, striped, or with bells. Kagome now ran with Shippou at her heels.
Slowing her pace down to a walk and finally a halt, Kagome stood in the center of the Road, hands on her knees to catch her breath. "Damn, those little people can throw far.." she stated in-between gasps. "Wow, Kagome, look at all the corn!" exclaimed Shippou, and Kagome lifted her head to observe her surroundings. The Road was, indeed in the middle of a corn field. Hands still on her knees, she then heard a taunting voice, "I can see your panties!" She straightened immediately and whirled around to see an odd creature stuck to a tree by an arrow. Right in the middle of the field!
The boy looked about Kagome's age, yet he had long silver hair, as if that of an elderly man. Out of the top of his head sprouted two dog ears. He wore a tattered red kimono. (Hey, he has to resemble the scarecrow somehow) "Wh-who are you!?" Kagome demanded, clutching Shippou to herself as she stomped closer, eyes flashing with anger. "I'm Inuyasha, stupid. Don't you remember m-"he was cut off by the authors, Chaos and Death, for they had slightly electrocuted him with tazers to get him back on track with the script. They then scuttled off into the corn field, tazers in hand, as they tried to remain out of site. Kagome coughed, sweat-dropping. "Let's try this again.. Who are you?"
"I am Inuyasha of the Corn Field," he stated, blushing. Kagome's sweat-drop grew. "How... How threatening..." She tried to sound enthusiastic, but failed miserably. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up already, wench" he spouted crudely. Kagome's eyes flashed with anger once again, but, like before, it died down. "Why are you pinned to this tree, Inuyasha of the Corn Field?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of agitation. Inuyasha's dog-like ears twitched. "It's Inuyasha, got it? And I'm pinned to this tree because the Wicked Bitch of the West pinned me here." Inuyasha was once again shocked by the authoresses' tazers. "OW! God damni-.. er-.. I mean... The Wicked Witch of the West pinned me here"
"So why don't you just pull the arrow out and get down?"
"..."
"What's the matter?"
"... I... I've never thought of that..."
Kagome fell over anime style. "Are you THAT stupid!?"
"I can see your panties again..."
After Kagome helped get Inuyasha down from the tree, she connected the palm of her hand with his face... hard. "THAT was for all those inappropriate comments!" she growled. "It's not my fault your culture dresses you like a slut!" Inuyasha spat back. A long and uncomfortable silence passed. Kagome uncrossed her arms and nudged him gently in the ribs. "This is your song queue..."
"I'm not singing," He whispered back.
"You have to"
"No I don't"
"Yes you do!"
"Make me!"
"I'll say the "S" word!"
"..."
"Here I go! Si-"
"Ok! Ok! I'll sing, damnit..." And with that hushed battle, music started to play out of nowhere. "I'm dumb..." Inuyasha began, talking as the tune started up.
"Why do you say that, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, the intro music still a jaunty hoedown-sounding tune.
"Because I don't got a brain..."
"Why do you want one so bad?"
"I'll tell you!" The music stopped momentarily on two beats, and then the main tune started up.
"I could while away the hours- Conferring with the flowers, and consulting with the rain," Kagome snickered a little bit at his singing, which was answered by a death glare. She shut up and watched his song and dance number, a smile still on her face.
"And my head I'd be a-scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'- If I only had a brain!" Inuyasha tapped his feet, dancing around in a small circle, although not very enthusiastically.
"I'd unravel every riddle- For any individdle- In trouble or in pain," Those six annoying, high-pitched notes played. "With the thoughts I'd be a-thinkin'-"
"-You could be another Lincoln!" Kagome's voice rang out.
"-If I only had a brain." Inuyasha danced around in a little circle again while the interlude played, "Oh I-- could tell you why-- The ocean's near the shore! I could think of things I'd never thunk before-- And then I'd sit, and think some more!"
"I would not be just a nothin'- My head all full of stuffin'- My heart all full of pain" Again, the six annoying notes played. "I would laugh and I'd be merry- Life would be a dinglederry, if I only had brain!" He hopped once, then twice as two notes ended the song.
"Well, you certainly need a brain..." Shippou commented before Kagome could cover his mouth.
"Er- Inuyasha of the Corn Field... we are on are way to the Great Monk of Oz! Perhaps he could give to you a brain? I'm going to ask him to send me home, and if he has the power to do that, I'm sure he'll have no trouble giving you a brain!" Kagome offered.
"Will there be food?"
"Well... I suppose there might b-"
"Ok! Let's go!"
And so the three were off.
[Chapter three- If Fido Only Had A Brain- End]
Chaos- Well, that was my little addition... And damn, it was fun to do! Oh, by the way, I am aware that Inuyasha was a little OOC, but I'm doing that for the humor part, alright? Please bare with me.
Chaos- Hush now.. ;; It's not my fault
Death- Sure ::Smirk::
Chaos- I take my pills!
Death- Yes, but how do you know they work?
Kenshin- Oro..
Chaos- Sure I do!... They.. Erm..
Death- HAH... Anyway.. TAZERS ARE AWESOME
Chaos- We may have something even COOLER next time if Inu-San gets out of line ;
Death-OH YEA!!!Chaos- ::Nods to a pair of flame-throwers in a corner::