Hi everyone...I was just wondering why no one is reviewing anymore...I really do feel like a loser...oh well I hate you all anyway!

My mom just told me today that I am a real live bastard!!!

I had never thought about it before, and I thought only guys could be bastards for some reason! But I was wrong! I am a bastard!!!

Yep I was born out side of marriage!!!

So I can call my self a bastard all I want and no one can get mad!!!

I'm a bastard!!!

Who's a bastard?

ME I'm a bastard!!!

YA GO ME!!!!

AAAAAAaaaah...I just stubbed my toe!!!

The toe of a bastard has been stubbed!!!!!

The world is going to END!!!!

Or this story will if you don't review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right bitches I went there.

What are you going to do about it hu?

I fart in your general direction!!!

And I empty my nose at you!!!

OH FINE GO READ THE FUCKING STORY YOU UNGRATEFUL SLACKERS!!!

If you could see me I would be mooning you right now...

HA HA!!!!

That's me I'm crazy cool!!!

Harry:

Out side the wards? Meaning...out side the wards?! We are going to die...

"Relax man! this is no time to spaz out on me!" Desire shook me slightly "focus ok? Good here's the sich...listening?"

"YES!" I barked as the paranoid fear that had been drilled into my senses from years of fearing for my life began to cool.

"Alright...they are coming around from the side to cut us off from the castle..." she paused and sniffed the air lightly "I can't tell how many there are ...but the stench of a Malfoy is all over it." I could hear her teeth grinding.

I sighed "So what do you propose we do?" she shrugged.

"By the time we get any where near the castle they will be waiting for us...flying or not...we have to choices...fight like idiots ...or run like pussies ...either way we are so screwed...though I have say I think we should fight...much more fun..."

"We need a plan if we are going to fight..." I mauled over what little information we had "ok here it is...but I'm going to need your help..."

Desire:

I sat high in a tree watching the prospect under me, the branches rustled sympathetically around me. I was right when I called Malfoy...that snake was standing at the head of a large unintelligent congregation waving his hands to calm the blundering cluster of black robbed figures, his son standing proudly at his side. That little zit.

Harry sat in the tree across from me snickering at my expression. I flicked him of swiftly and continued the set up of our brilliant plan. Those bitches were going down.

After I finished tying the last magical and physical strings, I gave Harry the signal and he smiled nervously just like he had last night when we pranked the school. "good luck" I mouthed as he took off quietly from the tree on his broom and began our little domino affect.

Harry:

The sky had clouded until I swear I thought it was nighttime... perfect. I slide off my broom when I reached my destination and stood tall in the middle of the clearing. "MARKO!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs and then I waited...and waited

Finally I herd her off in the distance "Polo!!!" ...even more perfect. The plan was in action.

"Oh my god! Did a sewage line break or is that a Malfoy I smell? LORD what a stench!!!" I threw my feet around in a silly dance as my mocking shouts rang through the forest "no wonder his wife always looks like she is going to sick up!!!" I could hear them all, stomping through the brush before me and breathing like wounded animals "ferret boy and his yuppie daddy! All prancing around in the forest!!!" I stuttered trying to find something more insulting...and then...Monty Python flew into my brain "Come and get me you smelly English bed wetting types!!! I wave my privet parts at your aunty!!! Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elder berries! YOU SON OF AN ENGLISH PIG TROPH WIPPER!!! HA HA HA now go away or I will tont you a second time!!! NO wait I mean come here and fight like a ferrite!!!" by the time they got near I was in a fit of giggles and nearly out of breath...but Desire said we had to get them really mad...

As the first of my doomed assassins pounced from the brush I saw a flurry of feathers and it started. I aimed my wand just above their head and shouted a fire charm just as she shouted a water charm, the to collided in mid air right over our enemies spreading a thick layer of steam over them all. The world went white and I climbed onto my broom to escape the swirling masses. When I reached the top of the cloud Desire flapped over to me, "balls rolling" she smiled "and I called Packey...so now all we have to do is sit back and watch the show!"

The throng of death eaters scurried around in the mist, we could only see their shadows but it was enough to recognize their panic. "I wonder who the hell came up with the name death eater..." I wondered out loud.

Desire snorted, "Ya, I know... how exactly does one go about eating death? Or does that mean like...I dunno they think death is good enough to eat or what?"

I laughed as the frantic eaters of death began to collect only to set off another magical trap inside the haze of booby traps we had created "maybe they just thought it sounded menacing?"

"Idiots" she leaned back on the air as if sitting in a comfy recliner "a ten year old could come up with a better name than that!"

"Damn right!" a voice shouted from behind us.

"Packey!!!" Desire swooped down to her alter ego and I swooped donw next to her "fantastic that you could make it old chum!"

"Well? Come on bend over I wanna get a better look!" Packey insisted.

"No chance woman! I'm pooped! Ride with Harry!" she barked flying back into the air. I felt myself blush.

"Do you mind if I join you Mr. Potter?" Packey smiled bowing slightly.

"Not at all Miss... uh... Packey" She climbed on the back of my broom and we flew up into the air next to Desire. As the frenzy went on below us I commented lightly and sarcastically with Desire and Packey. "it can't be long until this ends can it?" I moaned after what seemed like hours of rambling on and renewing the steam.

"I think maybe we got a little carried awa-" Desire stopped abruptly, her eyes got large and she zoomed towards me her hands out stretched "HARRY LOOK OUT!!!"

I turned just in time to see a spell explode in my range of vision. My body went ridged and Packey gripped my hand as a similar process over came her. I saw Desire's eyes as we plummeted to the ground "Don't worry guy! I'm gonna call Ron and Hermione and tell them to get Mr. D.!" She paused in mind air her hands on her temples. That was the last thing I saw before the steam over took us. What went wrong?

The ground hit us like a sledgehammer, and I would have screamed but my mouth was as frozen as the rest of me. A shadow loomed over us, standing in creepy silence. "So Mr. Potter... are you still planning to wave your privet parts at my aunty?" It sneered revealing instantaneously who our captor was.

"Oh yes I forgot you can't answer me can you? Here let me help you with that..." he leaned over and took the spell off my mouth.

"Fuck you!" I barked after aggressively snapping at his hand.

"My! My! You've got quite a mouth on you haven't you?" He purred pulling him self up so he was standing over me again. "Were is your little girl friend?"

"Right behind you Malfoy!!!" Desire giggled from some where behind all the clouds of vapor. "Don't waist you time on Potter when you can have a challenge like me!"

"Wench! Come out of hiding and face me!" Malfoy senior snapped, whipping around trying to spot the hiding angel.

"Alright all you had to do is ask grumpy!" She flash across my rang of vision waving her wand in a lightning fast swoop that sent the feeling back into my body. I bolted up to find my wand and Packey sat up next to me.

Desire zoomed in and out of the clouds diving around us in a flurry of feathers "Come on you white haired weasel what are you gonna--"

"CRUCIO!!!" He shouted pointing his wand at me I felt the oh so familiar waves of pain wash over me like burning flames eating me alive from the inside out. I screamed a writhed in irresistible agony until it abruptly stopped.

"Harry! Harry oh god I'm so sorry man this is so totally all my fault!" Desire shouted kneeling over me with one hand on each side of my head. I will never forget the way she looks right now. I promised myself watching her eyes glitter as they looked down at me her lips curving to scream my name and her hair gently caressing my face.

"Crucio..." Malfoy waved his wand lazily and Packey fell down next to us with piercing screams.

That woke me up "Des! We have to get out of here!" She nodded and grabbed my hand but we never made it to standing. A strange curse pasted across Luscious's lips and suddenly a red line appeared across Desires throat. After that everything seemed to move so slow. Her eyes grew wide once again and her hair flowed in a dreamlike way as her back arched. I herd Packey screaming her name but that didn't mater anymore. Blood bubbled and then seeped from the cut in her neck as her eyes glazed and her body tipped and fell to the side in an unearthly way. Not again! Not like Serious!!! "Desire...no"

"So riddle you are more angel than human...fascinating" he walked over as the steam cleared and pulled her off the ground by her hair. Her eyes were still shut and if not for the blood seeping down across her chest she would have looked like she was just asleep. "Retched creature...oh Potter stop blubbering she's not dead...yet"

My heart soared, there is still hope. Packey was still sobbing next to me when Ron and Hermione appeared in the clearing.

"Harry!!!" they shouted. No, no I thought don't let them get rapped up in all this please! But of coarse it was far to late for that.

"Draco take care of them will you?" Mr. Malfoy drawled waving his wand in a quick swish to bind the three of us together.

Draco stepped out of the still deteriorating steam and froze Ron and Hermione with one spell then his father quickly bonded them to us. "Now, now Miss Granger calm down no need to be so rowdy" he snickered, after waking Hermione and watching her scream and spit for a couple of minuets.

She went very quiet and turned to look at me with tears in her eyes "oh Harry are you alright" I nodded "what did they do to Desire?" I shrugged; so many things still confused me about everything that had taken place in the past half hour.

"Well we must be off... before some one else joins our little party now mustn't we Draco?" Malfoy sneered raising us into the air with a wave of his wand. "Portkey please dearest son of mine."

Draco pulled a silver medallion from his pocket with an obedient "Yes sir" and handed it to his father, after grabbing onto both us and his fathers arm.

I a flash I felt that familiar tug at my navel and we sped through space. Fear consuming us all over what was to come when we reached the end of that dreaded Portkey. I still think we are going to die.

Desire:

I was floating in hazy nothingness. My throat burned with every breath. No my mind screamed you can't die yet stupid OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYEBALLS!!! I did and the sight that greeted me was not a friendly one. We were in some kind of dirty cell. The walls were caked in what looked like blood and the floor smelled distinctly of piss.

"Harry?" I whispered, the pain in my throat attacked my body arching my back and closing my eyes, I kicked my legs in frustration but the pain didn't go.

"No! Desire don't talk yet!" Packey begged squatting down next to me with tears in her eyes. "My wand less magic is really crappy! So your neck is still healing..." I tried to move my hands only to find that they were magically stuck to the wall above me.

I gave Packey a pointed look "oh that?" see sighed opening her eyes again after a minuet of sitting there with them shut like an old lady "your daddy dropped by for that...he said it was to dangerous for them to leave you unbounded... or something then he did... that...what ever he did and left...man you really weren't kidding when you said things weren't going to be ok..." she chirped sounding strangely cheerful. My heart burned when I thought about what I knew was going to happen to her.

"I'm...ss...sorry...I lied" I rasped my head drooping a little. Packey shook her head but never got a chance to answer me.

"DES" Harry whisper/shouted in a gleeful voice, pouncing to my side like a hungry puppy. "I thought you were dead!" he smiled pushing some of my hair off my face. He's so cute when he thinks we are all going to die. I mentally slapped myself; well that was possibly the world's stupidest thought ever. He just smiled even more when I looked at him. Hermione and Ron stood behind him sharing strange giggly looks and smiling at Harry... was no one going to get serious here? We are in mortal peril!

"We...need a plan" I choked, my chin raised it's self and my back rolled as the pain crept over me again.

"Oh no Des please! Stop trying to talk... we got this...I don't want you dying on us so lie still and shut up!" Harry cried and then barked putting his soft hand over my mouth and stirring a strange feeling in my stomach... a feeling I knew very well...

He stood and walked to the door of the cell "it's all clear...Packey are you ready?"

Packey nodded "now you see me" then she vanished through the cell wall. I could just picture her standing out side saying 'now you don't' to herself and it helped the pain go away...that's why Packey's my best friend.

"Ok Ron you said Fred and George taught you how to pick muggle locks?" Ron nodded "Well can you get that one?" Harry pointed to a vent on the ceiling with a large rusty padlock on it.

Ron smiled "that's beginner stuff" he climbed the brick walls and after pulling a pin from the top button of his shirt he set to work on the lock.

"Good, Hermione help me get Desire out of these ties" He grinned turning to Hermione. She nodded and bent down next to Harry. They chanted and shouted for what seemed like forever until finally the power around my wrists broke and my arms fell limply at my sides. I raised them an rubbed at them for a moment before sitting up and hugging them both to show my thanks. Hermione hugged me back offering a sweet 'your welcome and Harry just went very stiff. When I let go and looked at him he was blushing like a mad man. That's so cute! One half of my brain screamed shut up! Said the other half growing quieter by the minuet.

"ok guys here are the wands" Packey came back through the wall and after carefully handing the little wooden sticks back to their owners she turned holding hers pointed at my throat and healed the thick slice across my throat. "Better?" she smirked in self congratulation.

"Ya man...damn that hurt...ok what the situation in the out side world?" I groaned rubbing at my still slightly tender throat.

"There are four or five eaters out side near the door but they are playing chess...doesn't look like we are going to be bothered for a while now" she pondered scratching her chin.

"Hay the vent is open" Ron jumped down off the wall and walked over to the group a satisfied smile stretching his freckled face.

"Wait...a vent?" wizards don't have vents... I sat up a little more and sniffed the air coming in through the open vent. Salt water...fish...we are near the ocean? "Packey, list all the muggle buildings you now of in England near the ocean."

She thought for a moment "well I can only think of one in England...its in Wales, a town called New Quay...a mansion called the Penwige...why?"

"Good... ok can you remember what the building plan looked like?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Duh dude... photographic memory remember?" she smiled also making the connection.

I pulled a hair off my head and quickly transfigured it into a sheet of parchment "got a pen?" She nodded pulling a light up pen from her back pocket. "great" I tossed her the paper "copy the plan as best you can... we need to know where we are going..."

"Neat! I'm helping!" she giggled setting to work.

"Right before we start our concocting of a plan I'm gonna need a cigarette..." we are so out of here.

Hardy har!!!

I'm getting there aren't I!!!

Review or whatever if you want me to keep going otherwise I'm going to move this to a different site!!! So ha!!! I need some plot ideas!!!

I need a BETA!!!

But no one wants to help me!!!

Oh well screw you guys I'm going home!!!!

REVIEW!!!!