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The Great Monk of Oz! Chapter Five: The Self-concious Spider. (This one goes out to me and Deathy's friend N-San. .;)

Prancing about in the woods, no matter who you are, is a much undignified action. And yet here they were. A Kansas girl, a Scare Crow, and a ..... Tin thing were linked at the elbows and skipping along, what else but, a yellow brick road, the little fox demon trailing behind. And just to make it even more of an odd sight to behold, they were singing, with Fluffy keeping up with the words conveniently well:

"We're off to see the Mo-onk!

The wonderful Monk of Oz!

We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz,

If ever a Wiz there was!

If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,

The Mo-onk of Oz is one because..!

Because, because, because, because, because:

Because of the wonderful things he does!

We're off the see the Mo-onk!

The Marvelous Mo-onk of Oz!!"

Suddenly, they all came to a halt, which was accompanied by an awkward silence. "I thought we weren't going to do that anymore" Inuyasha spat at the authoresses, who were hiding in a nearby bush. The authoresses responded with a one-finger salute and wide grins on their faces. As Chaos and Death scampered into their hiding spot, the four companions took notice that they were in a forest.

"Ooooh!," Squealed Fluffy, "We can sing Fukai Mori- my theme song! Boku- tachi waaaaaaaa! Ikiru hodo n-I!" Inuyasha had connected his fist with the back of his, for the sake of this story, companion's head.

"You sound like a dying kappa..." He grumbled.

Fluffy looked aghast, "MY beautiful voice!? A dying KAPPA!?" He jumped onto his younger sibling and the two began tumbling around on the brick path, hands at each-other's throats. It took all the Kansas girl had, and, with permission from the authoresses, a few "Sit" commands, to get them away from each other.

"You two will stop right this instant!" Kagome ordered, hands on her hips as if their mother.

"B-but-!" Sesshoumaru began, bottom lip trembling.

"I don't want to hear it! Do you want a heart or not, because for someone who doesn't have one, you sure do act like a big baby!" She turned to Inuyasha, and continued on with her scolding, "And you! Don't you want a brain!? So prepare for it and pretend you have one!" Kagome then waited for Shippou to chime in, but only silence accompanied her. She turned around on her heel, "Shippou-Chan?" He was nowhere.

"Kagome, help!" came a cry from the bushes. Kagome, Fluffy and Inuyasha at her heels, ran over to the source of the noise. In the dense brush was a man in what looked like to be a baboon suit chasing Shippou around a tree as if some sort of tag game children would play. "The Monkey wants to eat me!!" He screamed. Inuyasha leaped over to the man in one stride, yanking the pelt off of him. The stranger recoiled and fell back onto his rear end. Inuyasha had to make an effort to hold back a snicker.

"The light! Give me my pelt! My lovely, lovely, pelt!" The man screeched. Inuyasha, who was taken aback, dropped the pelt in surprise. The man snatched it up and draped it over him. "My precious..... My precious......" He said in a deep voice, stroking the pelt. (A/N: We don't own LOTR, either, my precious. Although Chaos wishes she did) Inuyasha backed up and out into the clearing. His silver hair shone in the light. The man looked to the side at the two women who had popped their heads out of the bushes. Chaos threatened him by holding out what looked like a crudely carved wooden doll. It had a cloth tied around its head where the mouth would have been. Death held a lighter up to it while Chaos mouthed, "Do it, or your favorite dolly gets it"

The man then jumped out into the clearing, practically knocking down Inuyasha. "Your hair! Your hair, my young lord! It is so pretty! Much better than Naraku's! I must have it!"

"What the hell!?" Inuyasha scrambled away. Naraku stayed where he was, looking down at the ground. "Your hair is so much prettier than mine.... Well, I guess it's only natural for me to have ugly hair.... I'm a nobody! A nobody! No one loves Nary! Nary is fat and ugly, and middle aged. No one loves!" He sobbed. And for the sake of the story, and his dolly, he completely changed the subject. "And Nary is scared of everything....."

"How can you be scared of everything?" Kagome asked, Shippou securely in her arms.

"I'll tell you...." He muttered, obviously knowing he'd regret this part. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru shared a tub of popcorn and sat close.

"Life is sad, believe me, Missy,

when you're born to be a sissy,

without the vim and verve.

But I could change my habits,

never more be scared of rabbits,

if I only had the nerve

I'm afraid there's no denying,

I'm just a dandelion,

a fate I don't deserve.

But I could show my prowess,

be a lion not a meowess,

if I only had the nerve.

Oh, I'd

be in my stride

a king down to the core.

I could roar a way I never roared before,

and then I'd... RRWWWWWWOOOOF!

And roar some more!!"

Chaos snickered from the bushes. Death clamped a hand over her mouth. "Shhh, Cha-Chan!" "But it sounds so dirty, Deathy!"

"I could show the dinosaurus

whose king around the forest

a king they better serve.

Why with my regal beezer

I could be another Caeser

if I only had the nerve!"

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru whooped and cackled, spilling popcorn everywhere. Kagome hushed them venomously and went over to Naraku.

"I bet the Great Monk of Oz could help you with your problem!" She beamed.

"He.... He could?" Naraku looked hopeful. "So you mean he could solve my problems, so I wouldn't be lonely and a loser anymore!? So I could stop ma— err...... Never mind,"

"Don't expect any miracles," Inuyasha teased.

"We're off!" Kagome shouted to interrupt a potential fight.

------

Hello. This is Chaos. You can call me Cha-Chan. Let me explain something to all you readers. Me and Deathy take turns writing the chapters, and then we come up with the ending notes together. Well, it's currently 3:45 AM, so Deathy isn't available to do author notes with me. ; So, I thought I'd take the time and tell you guys a little bit about one of the two partners in crime.

My name is Cha-Chan, I'm 13 years old, and I'm a girl. My species: Neko- jin. That's right; I come with ears, a tail and everything. Interesting, hai? ; I'mma cute little fuzzy kitty. . But there's a twist! I'm also a vampy, who happens to be learning the ways of the sword from my dearest Kenny-shin-shin. ::Kenshin sweat drops in the background:: Kenny's mine, so BACK OFF! =O!

Next time, I'll force Deathy-Sama to tell you about herself. .

Ciao!

Cha-Chan