Washu awoke, feeling less than rested, but excited for the day nonetheless. Today was her day, the first of any of them to get some official time alone with Tenchi. She had barely ever managed any moments alone with Tenchi except for those brief moments in her lab when she managed to catch him for a few tests. Those moments had been few and far between once Tenchi caught on to her game.
She looked around her lab, at the various gadgets and machines she had built, the tanks and cages holding animals of all variety, and wondered what was in store for her. She had a few things planned, though she wouldn't really have a lot of Tenchi's time in actuality. He still had work in the fields, practice, and Shinto studies. So really she only had a limited amount of time with him until tonight, and she wasn't likely to actually have him to herself until then. It was mostly communal or family time where the household members got together for meals and the like until after supper.
But she had some important things to decide now. Most importantly what to look like and how to dress. She knew she was going to have to bite the bullet and go with a more mature look than her usual. She was most comfortable in her child's body, however and wasn't sure if she really wanted to spend the whole day in her adult form. She was strongly considering something in between, like Sasami, perhaps a little older. Tenchi was about nineteen, so she thought that perhaps the appearance of seventeen or eighteen years of age might work out best. Tenchi seemed to be nervous when faced by an adult form, so perhaps one closer to the age he would normally have been interested in without all of the aliens in his house would work out well.
Washu concentrated a moment, she hadn't used anything but her child or adult form ever, so she had to get a fix on it properly in her mind. She could switch to either of those forms without any effort at all, but she would have to get used to a different one until it became comfortable making the switch, assuming Tenchi liked it that was. She finally got it fixed in her head and made the switch.
She finished the change and looked into a mirror she had materialized for the purpose. Her red hair was essentially unchanged, there wasn't any reason to do anything with that. She was taller though, the same as in her adult form. The most noticeable difference from her adult form would really be that she was a little thinner and her face was a little smoother. Those two things did change her appearance quite a bit. She ran her hands over her face and then the rest of her body getting used to the differences. She could feel the more defined muscles in her arms and legs than she had as a child, and the lack of extra tissue she carried in her adult form. She thought Tenchi would like it.
With that taken care of, the next problem was what to wear. She was first up, sort of, and she wanted to start things off right. She was setting the standard everyone else would be following. Plus, she'd rarely gotten a chance to get a true reaction from Tenchi until now. She hummed to herself absently as she morphed her clothes from one outfit to another. She knew Tenchi liked the nurse's outfit, even if he was too ashamed to admit it. She had the sensor readings to prove it. It didn't really seem to be appropriate to wear around in general, however, that she'd leave until they were alone, if at all. Again, deciding to follow Sasami's lead, she went with a simple outfit of pants and shirt, but very tight. She'd made sure she still had the impressive bosom in this form as she did in her adult, so it was sure to be noticeable.
She decided that blue jeans weren't quite her style, and instead went with some black slacks. She tried a few different colors for the shirt, before deciding that the light orange set off her fiery red hair best. She mentally dropped the neckline a few inches and examined herself carefully again. That was about perfect, sort of a young, modern, school-girl look. She'd considered some of those silly schoolgirl outfits with the ridiculously short skirts, but decided they weren't for her. She wasn't afraid to show off her legs, she just wanted something with a little more utility, and pants fit the bill. She usually wore shorts, now that she thought about it, and suddenly her black pants were black shorts, cut a little higher than what she was accustomed to, but still covering everything for the most part. She left her usual tights out this time, though, to show off her legs as much as possible for Tenchi's benefit.
She finished off with a pair of comfortable shoes. Reasoning that even though something with heels might be more noticeable, giving that false sense of longer, shapelier legs human males seemed to be attracted to, it would probably drive her height past that of Tenchi's. In this form she was close to his height to begin with. She didn't know if Tenchi would be intimidated by a taller woman, but why take chances?
She checked her hair was in place and her earrings fit the bill, and deciding she had the look she wanted Washu headed out of her lab to meet everyone for the breakfast Sasami was sure to be making by now.
--
"I'm home." Tenchi announced his presence upon entering the main Masaki house. He'd spent the night alone again, and waking up without Ryoko hovering was refreshing. He'd warned her before going to his own house not to do that, and while she'd protested, the threat of losing her own turn had stopped her.
"I'm starving, what's for breakfast Sasam... huh?" Tenchi stopped and stared like the rest of the family was doing. Everyone was there this morning, amazingly, even his grandfather. But everyone was staring open-mouthed at the young woman with red hair sitting at the table with a smile on her face. She looked mostly like, "Little, err, Miss, err, Washu?"
"You can all call me Young Washu, if you please." Washu was thoroughly enjoying the stunned surprise with which everyone had reacted to her new look. Ryo-Ohki hopped over to her and sniffed at her quizzically.
"Miya? Miya, mreowr?"
"Yes, it's really me, Ryo-Ohki. I just decided to try a new look. What's the big deal? Can't a girl change her style once in a while?"
"Washu!! What's the big idea any way. You think you can get Tenchi with that new getup, don't you? It won't work..."
(CLANG)
Ryoko was brought up short by the bell dropping on her head.
"You can call me mother, I think we've been over that already."
"It's very fetching, Young Washu. Tenchi, where are your manners? Tell her what you think of her new look." Yosho's face remained locked in his subtle, knowing smile.
"What, oh yeah, it's really... nice, uh, Young Washu," Tenchi managed to blurt out. She wasn't just dressed differently, she had chosen a whole new form, apparently a teenage girl or a little older. Obviously it was because of him, but he had never expected something like this from her. He'd figured she'd probably try and trick him into her lab later tonight or something of the sort, not the blatant attempt to look attractive, and especially not the young girl form he was faced with. He'd expected the older, adult Washu form at some point.
"Do you really think so? Oh, I'm so happy I could just kiss you." As Washu moved towards Tenchi, both Ayeka and Ryoko, who had finally recovered from the bell being dropped on her, moved to block her.
"That will quite do, Miss Washu"
"I don't think so, Washu!"
(CLANG, CLANG)
"I already told you to call me mother, and you to call me Young Washu. Honestly, you girls just can't take instructions. It's a wonder you ever learned to get dressed in the morning. Maybe tonight, Tenchi." With a wink for him, Washu turned back and sat down at the table.
"Heh, heh. Very funny Wa..., um, Young Washu," Tenchi laughed nervously.
"That's quite interesting, Young Washu. Can you choose any age at all that you wish to be then? I really should talk to you about that some time. I'm sure my husband would be VERY interested in that if you could teach me." Misaki was looking at Washu with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"Sorry, a girl can't give away all of her secrets."
Everyone finally seated themselves and began eating. Tenchi was relieved to note that none of the other ladies seemed to have chosen to wear their revealing clothing like yesterday. Washu was enough all by herself.
"I wanted to thank you again for setting Dad's house up so quickly, Young Washu. That was really amazing."
"Oh, it was nothing, really. I'd had that Automatic Construction Unit designed and half-built already after the last few times the house got destroyed. These ladies are pretty rough." Ayeka, Ryoko, and Mihoshi colored a little bit with that comment, remembering how much damage they'd done to the house. "I just had to tweak a few things, and it was all ready to go. Fortunately, I had enough spare particles stored away to be able to create the rest of the materials your father wanted. From there, the ACU just went to work. Simple really."
"Well, thanks any way, Young Washu. I appreciate it." Tenchi gave her a smile, trying not to look anywhere but at her face.
"You can make it up to me tonight, if you want..." Washu returned the smile with eyebrows raised.
"Hey, cut it out, 'mom'. You're pushing your luck here." Ryoko was getting mad, and Ayeka didn't seem to be doing much better.
"Judges?" Washu looked to Funaho and Misaki.
"I don't believe she's breaking any rules, do you Sister?" Misaki looked at her sister Queen.
"No I don't believe so. In fact, I'd be tempted to say Ryoko is closer to breaking the rules than Young Washu." Funaho was forced to step back as Ryoko phased from her spot at the table to appear directly in front of Funaho.
"What?! What are you talking about?" Ryoko cried at the two of them.
"No infringing on another's day. That was the rule, was it not?"
"Yeah, but that was for what we were going to... Mmmpff!" Ryoko was again cut off, this time by the gag appearing from nowhere in her mouth. Ryoko turned her glare back to her mother, then back to the Queens, then back again.
"As judges, we have chosen to extend that rule to all aspects of each of your days. Do any of you dispute our ruling?"
Misaki focused her commanding stare at all of the ladies present. All of the women immediately started shaking their heads, obviously not wanting to risk losing their turn, though Kiyone's was only half-hearted.
Tenchi watched all this in confusion. Judges? He hadn't known anything about the queens being judges for anything. Apparently the ladies must have agreed to let the two queens act as moderators to keep everything in line for their personal days with Tenchi. He hadn't thought to do something like that, but he was glad, it would hopefully help keep the peace. He was nervous enough about this, it would be nice to think somebody was helping to keep everyone in line.
"All right, perhaps it's time we all ate breakfast, then?" Misaki sat down with that, and everyone nervously started eating again.
Yosho was the first to finish, and stood up to leave. "I'll see you at practice Tenchi. No swords today, unarmed only." And then he departed.
"Yeah, we probably ought to practice our martial arts a bit, too, Mihoshi," commented Kiyone. "We've been neglecting that a bit lately. It'd be good to work out a few of the rough edges we've probably put on."
"Sounds like you'll have a full class today, sister. I was thinking a lesson for my son's inappropriate remarks yesterday warrant some punishment." Funaho smiled as she spoke to her sister queen, seeing the resulting smile on Misaki's face.
"I imagine I could arrange something. What did you have in mind? I hate to admit it, but he is better than me. Just challenging him probably won't do any good."
"Well, I'm sure we can come up with something if we put our heads together. I think Yosho forgets you're just about his equal if you take that sword out of his hands. You'd hardly ruin Tenchi by teaching him occasionally. I think the ladies here might enjoy that as well, sparring with Tenchi.
"Uh, sure," answered Tenchi as he scratched the back of his head. "I suppose I can. I've never sparred with anyone but grandfather before, though. I'm not sure I'd feel right sparring with any of you ladies, but I can try, I guess."
"You can spar with me any time you want Tenchi. And I do mean ANY time." Ryoko gave Tenchi her most seductive look.
"Ridiculous," stated Ayeka as she pushed Ryoko aside. "Lord Tenchi should not be subjected to training with commoners such as yourself, Ryoko. I offer my services as your sparring partner, Lord Tenchi. I am not a lowborn hooligan like she is."
Mihoshi said, "But Ayeka, don't you think Tenchi should spar with someone closer to his own skill? I mean, I know you were better than ever yesterday, but I still don't think you're his match. Oh doesn't that sound funny. Like I meant you weren't right for Tenchi. I mean, I didn't really mean that of course, it just kind of came out that way. Oh, I'm so embarrassed, how could I say that? I'm so sorry, Ayeka. I'll spar with you today, if you'd like, I think I'm really more your skill level. Now Kiyone, on the other hand, she's a perfect match for Tenchi. Oh, there I go again, saying it like I mean she's right for Tenchi. Well, I suppose she could be, I mean who's to say which of us is really right for Tenchi, except for Tenchi, but I think Kiyone is just as good as any of us for Tenchi, am I right?"
"Shut up Mihoshi!" Kiyone yelled. "Stop babbling you bubblehead. Geez, you are so embarrassing sometimes. If Tenchi asks me too, I'll spar with him, but don't make his plans for him, all right?"
"Oh, okay, Kiyone. I just thought you might want to spar with Tenchi. I mean who wouldn't? I'd love to spar with Tenchi, though I think he's too good for me. Oh my goodness there I go again..."
Kiyone could only grind her fist into her forehead. "Grrrrrrr."
"I think I can settle this argument. I'll spar with Tenchi." Everyone turned a stunned look to Washu. "Well, I've been getting this treatment a lot today. Hello, anybody home? Genius talking here. Oh for goodness' sake."
Washu got up and walked over to Tenchi, everyone watching her with slack jaws. She took Tenchi by the arm, and pulled him up. "Let's go, handsome. Your grandfather's probably waiting for you by now."
"Huh? Oh yeah." Tenchi let himself be led out by the arm. Everyone else turned to look at Ryoko with a questioning look in their eyes.
"Miya?" Ryo-Ohki questioned Ryoko.
"No, I didn't know she knew how to fight. How would I know something like that. The link goes the other way, she reads my mind, I don't read hers. She's never said anything to me about knowing how to fight before. Really." Ryoko answered Ryo-Ohki's question for everyone. "You'd expect a lunatic like her to use some crazy gadget in a fight, not use her bare hands."
"Well, I guess we should all change into our workout clothes and head out then. I'll be waiting for everyone." Misaki had taken charge of everyone's martial arts training, not just her daughters', being the undisputed master. Only Tenchi and Yosho had avoided her oversight up until now.
"Ryoko? A word with the two of you, please." Funaho motioned Ryoko over to herself and Misaki. "I was wondering if you might..."
--
After a quick stop at his place to change clothes, Tenchi and Washu made their way to what had become the Masaki extended family's practice grounds. He'd had to order Washu to remain outside his bedroom while he changed clothes, but unbeknownst to him, she'd slipped in a small self-contained monitoring device.
"Those boxers were cute, Tenchi, were they the ones Ryoko got you for Christmas last year?"
"What? Washu! You spied on me?"
"I wouldn't really call it spying. Peeping is closer. And it's Young Washu, don't make me correct you again. I've seen you in your boxers before, if you recall. I've seen what's inside your boxers in fact. What's the big deal?" Washu was fighting to keep the laughter from rolling out at the mixture of embarrassment and anger on Tenchi's face. She loved to keep him off balance. He was more likely to make a mistake she could take advantage of that way.
"Well, don't do it again Young Washu."
"As you wish, Tenchi. From now on I won't peep on you any more. It'd be easier if you just let me look without peeping, you know."
"Ha, ha, very funny."
Washu and Tenchi strolled out to the practice grounds. Everyone else was already there, and Yosho had a mildly perturbed look on his face. "You're late, Tenchi. Perhaps you think flirting with the pretty young lady is more important than practicing with your grandfather, hmmm?"
"Actually, Yosho," said Misaki, "I was hoping you might give me a match today. I haven't had a really good workout since you left 700 years ago."
Yosho's brows furrowed slightly. He sensed something, but was unable to detect what it was. "I'm here to teach my grandson. But I suppose you're correct, it might be nice to face a challenger who isn't so clumsy."
Tenchi's face showed his embarrassment, but he laughed with everyone else at his grandfather's joke any way.
Yosho turned his gaze to Misaki who was beaming at him with a mischievous smile. Everyone else watched with extreme interest. They'd all experienced Misaki's teaching and knew how formidable she was, but Yosho was supposed to be even better. It was likely to be a very exciting match.
Ryoko leaned over to Ayeka and whispered "I've mostly forgiven him for defeating me all those years ago, but I have to admit, I'm going to enjoy watching him take a beating."
"Yes, I do agree, a small comeuppance for what he did to me seems appropriate, I must admit." Ayeka agreed with Ryoko, she'd forgiven Yosho, but a little payback was in order.
"A wager, Yosho?" asked Misaki.
"Perhaps," he answered. "What would the stakes be?"
"If I win, I split practice with you, you get him for the sword, the ladies and I get him for the unarmed."
"If you win... And if I should win?"
"Then I help clean your shrine every day I remain on earth, which is likely to be for a while. My daughters' education seems to be in serious need at the moment."
"Ah. Well, the ladies do a pretty good job already, but I must admit, it could really stand some thorough attention every day, not just the occasional cleaning it gets right now. Accepted."
Funaho said, "Best of five? I'll be the judge ruling on scoring blows, and I may ask Tenchi for confirmation if I'm unsure. Agreed?"
Yosho and Misaki smiled and nodded, and the two squared off while everyone else took interested positions around the outside to observe. There was a brief interruption to break up the squabble which started when Washu took Tenchi's arm and leaned against him, but after it was broken up the small clearing fell almost ominously silent.
Both went through a few exercises to loosen up after putting some pads on their arms, legs, and chests. Misaki shadow-boxed briefly, while Yosho did a few movements from a simple kata. Each watched the other intently the whole time.
"Enough already. Get to it, would ya?" called Ryoko. She quieted down when numerous sets of angry eyes turned towards her.
Yosho looked at Misaki and raised an eyebrow. Misaki nodded in response, and the two took stances indicating their readiness. Tension built as the two waited for some unknown signal to begin.
"Miya?" asked Ryo-Ohki.
At the sound of her voice, the two leapt towards each other and the match was on. It quickly became apparent that the two had vastly different styles. Yosho seemed to have a very simple style, little motion punctuating an almost impenetrable defense followed by strong counterattacks to drive Misaki back so he could set himself again. Misaki on the other hand seemed to relish in movement, constantly angling around Yosho to keep him turning to face her. Her attacks were almost blindingly fast, and her incredible strength was evident in the way Yosho's entire body seemed to get moved backwards or sideways when she struck.
Yosho managed the first hit, slipping a kick by the slimmest of margins and landing a straight punch to Misaki's protected chest.
"Point!" called Funaho, and the two stopped and moved to face each other again.
"You still have that weak spot, Misaki? I'm surprised, I've beaten that combination many times now."
"You're the only person good enough to beat that move Yosho. And besides, I needed to know whether you've slowed down due to a lazy life here on earth. Now I know."
Each got back into a ready stance, and the tension again built as they watched each other almost motionlessly.
"Go!" yelled Ryoko, and the two flashed together once more. "Geez, what's with the posing to start the match, any way?"
Washu answered, "In a real fight, there's nobody there telling you to start, Ryoko. Waiting for the unknown signal is the closet you can get in an arranged match to the spontaneity you'll face in the real thing. You should know that."
"Sure thing, 'mom'. Except I never had arranged matches, I just went out and got the job done. Waiting wasn't part of the plan."
Everyone turned back to watch the match in progress which flowed all around the clearing, and sometimes even wandered out into the trees and bushes before returning again.
This time it was Misaki who landed a short punch to Yosho's chest, a vicious series of punches had finally manged to get one solid blow through.
"Point!" called Funaho again, looking at Tenchi who nodded his agreement with wide eyes.
"Fast as always, Misaki."
"I've always told you you should get stronger and those blows wouldn't be able to get through as easily. You ignored my advice, apparently."
Tenchi watched the two return to their starting positions, amazement on his face. He looked at Ayeka and Sasami to say, "I've never managed to land a blow against grandpa, and I thought I was getting pretty good. Your mother talks as if it's no big deal."
"Actually, mother was Juraian champion until Yosho was born and grew up. He managed to surpass her, but the two sparred constantly since they represented the most skilled opponents either could face to try and improve. Yosho almost always won, apparently, but mother was the only one who was able to test him." Ayeka smiled as Sasami nodded her agreement.
"Actually, with a sword, the difference is much greater, Yosho is undoubtedly the superior of the two. Without the length of the sword to keep distance between them, though, mother's strength becomes a greater factor. She always tried to convince him he should get stronger and not just focus on his swordsmanship, even though it meant he might improve enough so that she was unable to defeat him any more. He never did, for some reason."
"Interesting. She's really that strong? You'd never guess it by looking at her, she just seems like a pretty lady normally."
"Ahem! If you're gonna lay compliments anywhere today, Tenchi, send them my way." Washu punched Tenchi lightly in the shoulder.
"Ah, ha, ha. Sorry about that, Washu."
Ayeka and Sasami looked at him strangely for a moment, but then everyone turned back to watch the match again. It went much like before, eventually both Yosho and Misaki had scored another hit, leading to the final session. This time however, Yosho took up a different stance than the one he had been using previously. It was much more aggressive than the defensive posture he had been using.
Misaki narrowed her eyes, then smiled almost wickedly. "Ah, the turtle leaves his shell at last. Afraid of losing that much?"
"There's nothing to be gained by losing in this instance when I can win, and you know it as do I. Ready?"
"We'll see, won't we?"
The two stilled, facing one another once more.
"Does anyone know where Ryoko is?" whispered Mihoshi.
"Shhh," hissed Kiyone.
This time nobody said a word for long moments. Finally the match began when some leaves rustled off to the side. Yosho attacked aggressively, coming straight for Misaki, throwing short quick punches to work his way into her guard. She retreated just as quickly, blocking everything he threw. Then Yosho stumbled suddenly, recovering almost instantaneously, but not fast enough to avoid the blow which cracked across his chin.
"Point! Match to Misaki."
Yosho accepted Misaki's hand in pulling him to his feet, and looked carefully at the ground. A rock of near two-inches in diameter lay on the ground near his feet, and he narrowed his eyes in thought. Paying it no more attention, he faced Misaki and bowed, which she returned.
"An excellent match, Misaki. It is good to know that my grandson will now be learning from someone with such skill as you exhibit." He paused while Misaki nodded her acknowledgment. "Make note of this Tenchi. Anyone can lose at any time for the simple fact that they step on a rock at the wrong moment. The faster you finish an opponent, the less chance of unusual events causing your defeat." Yosho turned to start walking away. "Well, I believe I'll leave you to practice with the ladies today, Tenchi."
"Okay grandpa, I'll see you later for studies."
"Yes, Tenchi."
"Well, how about that? The great Yosho defeated. Good job queenie." Ryoko smiled at Misaki, who nodded in return. "Good thing that rock happened to be there so he could step on it, huh?"
"Yes, it was indeed fortuitous, Ryoko," said Funaho. "I'm sure Misaki appreciates your talents."
"WHAT?!" everyone cried in unison.
"Geez, weren't any of you watching? My daughter phased through the ground and stuck that rock there. Misaki knew it would be there, but Yosho of course didn't. He knows this practice ground absolutely, and wasn't expecting it to be there, and thus he was caught by surprise. Only someone with Misaki's skill could have capitalized on it, though. Did you see how close he came to recovering? Misaki only caught the point of his chin, instead of his cheek." Washu shook her head in mock remorse. "He almost certainly knows what happened, of course, but he's too much the warrior to make issue of something like that. I'm sure he'd say something like 'there are no rules on the battlefield,' knowing Yosho."
Tenchi nodded, knowing that's exactly the type of thing his grandfather would say. He was a little amazed they'd gone to such elaborate steps to defeat his grandfather, and wondered why.
"Queen Misaki?" he asked.
"Please Tenchi, you can just call me Misaki."
"Ah, right. Well, you've obviously sparred with him on numerous occasions. Did he always win?"
"Pretty much, yes. I managed to beat him around once or twice in every thousand matches we had."
"Er, thousand? Wow! But... you were tied with him at two points each, you'd managed to score points evenly with him til then. Surely you won more often than that?"
"Did you notice how he changed his style at the end? He usually starts out conservatively, mostly a defensive style. He's always done that, it's kind of patronizing in a way, really. That's probably why Funaho and I decided to teach him a lesson. When he changes to an aggressive style like he was in at the end, he's unbeatable, not counting a fluke accident like rocks mysteriously appearing where they're not supposed to be. If he always fought me using his aggressive style from the start, I'd probably never manage to beat him, but he chooses not to, so as to make it a contest for a while. His speed is quite remarkable when he goes full out."
"I see. Well, regardless, that was a very impressive display, Qu... er, Misaki. I'm sure I'll learn a great deal from you while you're here."
"Why thank you, Tenchi. That's very sweet." Misaki smiled and reached out to pull Tenchi into a hug. "You're just adorable, aren't you?"
"Hey, hey, hands off." Ryoko and Ayeka pried Misaki off of Tenchi, earning them a scowl.
"Really, Ryoko. All the fondling you do of poor Tenchi here, and you overreact to a simple hug. Besides, it's my day, any way, I'm the one who should be upset, not you." Washu looked at Misaki with the question evident in her eyes.
"Well, Tenchi's definitely a handsome man, I have to admit." Misaki's statement caused him to blush, and rub his head while pretending not to listen. "I am a married woman, though, I don't think I'm ready to give up my husband quite yet, barring any setbacks. You ladies are safe for the moment, at least. Don't take too long, though, if he's still available in another thousand years, I might change my mind."
Tenchi spluttered, then attempted to cover it up by pretending to cough.
"Mother!!!" cried Ayeka and Sasami together.
"Yes? You have something to say to me?" Misaki eyed the two with a raised eyebrow.
"Er, no"
"No, mother."
Kiyone whispered to Mihoshi, "This has got to be the most complicated family I have ever met in my entire life. You sure you really want to get involved with Tenchi?"
"Of course I do. I think it's funny how they tease each other like that."
"Er, yeah." Kiyone looked at Misaki carefully. 'I'm not sure she's just kidding, Mihoshi,' Kiyone thought to herself.
"Well, we've got some practice still, none of you have done anything yet except gawking. Isn't it about time we started?"
Everyone broke up into their groups, Tenchi with Washu, Mihoshi with Ayeka, Kiyone and Ryoko, Sasami and Funaho. Misaki handed out instructions to everyone on what to do and watched for a bit as they started putting those instructions to use.
As Tenchi squared off with Washu, he noticed she'd never changed her clothes to the more traditional garb everyone else was wearing. "Um, are you sure you want to spar dressed like that, Young Washu?"
"What, too much for you?" Washu concentrated, and the neckline of her shirt slowly plunged even lower. Tenchi's eyes started bulging, and his hand moved to his nose. Washu took advantage of his distraction and took the fight to him. She quickly threw a series of punches Tenchi was in no position to counter and knocked him down quickly. "Well, that was fun. Care to go again, Tenchi?"
"No fair, Young Washu."
"Really? Did I cheat or were you just not prepared for it?"
"Well," with a sidelong glance to where his grandfather had disappeared, "I suppose you're right, I wasn't really ready. I think you're taking advantage of me, though."
"That's exactly what I was trying to do, Tenchi. Just wait until tonight, then I'll really take advantage of you."
"Stop that, you're worse than Ryoko!"
"Now that hurts, Tenchi. You compare me to that lazy, disrespectful daughter of mine, and say I'm worse than her?"
"Gee, thanks MOM." Ryoko had been listening, along with everyone else, curiosity over what Washu was up to overriding even Misaki's dominating presence.
"Sorry, Young Washu. Can you put on some different clothes for the rest of the practice, please?"
"Fine, Tenchi. Better?" Washu phased herself into the traditional workout clothes.
"Much. All right then."
Washu and Tenchi began sparring normally now, Tenchi obviously the superior opponent, but Washu displaying some skill.
Eventually Misaki called off practice with everyone dripping and panting from the hard workout she'd directed.
"Man, what a bummer. I wanted to watch Yosho take a beating, and instead I'm the one who gets brutalized."
"Ryoko! That's not why we are here. We are here to improve our mental discipline and our physical skills. One thousand pushups for impertinence." Misaki put on her commanding face.
"What? You're kidding right?"
Misaki's eyes started bulging.
"Heh, heh, come on, a thousand?"
Misaki leaned her face in close to Ryoko's.
With a sigh, Ryoko began doing pushups.
"All right everyone, practice is over. I'll stay here with Ryoko for a bit longer. You can all go clean up, we'll catch up with you when we're done here. I can't hear you, Ryoko." Misaki turned back to Ryoko, as everyone turned to leave.
"Thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four..."
Washu latched onto Tenchi's arm as they walked back to the house. "Your grandfather is a very smart man, Tenchi. You'd do well to follow his example. And whatever you do, don't follow my daughter's."
"Heh, heh, I'll keep that in mind, Young Washu."
--
All of the ladies living in the Masaki house were soaking comfortably in the floating onsen when Washu arrived. The quiet conversations slowly died out as she lowered herself into the water next to Sasami.
"I see you're back to your normal self," said Ryoko, noting Washu's smaller stature. "So, how'd it go then? I noticed you haven't fixed his problem yet." Ryoko eyed her mother with a scowl, the expression matched by Ayeka.
"All in good time. We're hardly going to fix him in the first morning, after all. I think it went pretty well, actually. It's not as if he ran away from me screaming, after all. I think with a few days to work on him, I could get him used to me like that, including the skimpy outfit." Washu closed her eyes and leaned back to let the warm water soothe her muscles. "After tonight, he might be ready."
"What exactly do you have in mind, Little Washu? I certainly hope you're not planning to try and seduce Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka was expressing what most of the others were feeling.
"Perhaps, though he's probably not ready for that yet. That doesn't mean I won't try, but I doubt I'll have any success. My daughter's been blatantly trying for quite a while now, and the rest of you have been too, though more subtly. Why shouldn't I? I think I could make him as happy as any of you could, and that's what we're all really after isn't it?"
"You know, you're a lot more fun when you're acting like a crazy woman. It's no fun when your mother makes sense and you have to agree with her." Ryoko addressed everyone with that. Ayeka and Sasami carefully kept their faces neutral under Misaki's watchful gaze.
Funaho broke the silence. "It's nice to see all of you so concerned for my great-grandson, but are you certain this is what's best for him and yourselves? What if this should backfire and he takes a more active interest in women? He's living a quiet life here on Earth for right now, but someday he's going to have to go to Jurai and take his place there. There are numerous women at court there who'd love to attach themselves to the prince. What if he would leave all of you behind?"
The silence lasted for a long time before finally it was Mihoshi who answered, "Tenchi may be my destiny, and he may not. It will be painful if he doesn't choose me, and if he doesn't choose me I certainly hope it's someone here. If he didn't choose any of us though, I'll move on with my life. I've got my partner back, and a life in the Galaxy Police. I'll always treasure my time here, no matter what." That brought nods from Washu, Kiyone, and Sasami. Ayeka and Ryoko couldn't help glancing at each other, though. They'd perhaps invested more in the fight for Tenchi than the others and the concept of not getting him in the end was too painful to bear. Both lowered their heads and stared into the water.
"Well, this has been interesting, but I have a few hours to work in my lab before Tenchi's done with his grandfather. I'd better make use of it." With that Washu got out of the water and dried off before putting on her clothes and leaving. Everyone watched her leave, thinking their own thoughts.
--
When she got back to her lab, Washu sank into her chair, but did not start working. Instead she was thinking about what she would do if Tenchi decided to leave them all behind. Her work would keep her busy, it always would. But it would unquestionably hurt to lose Tenchi. He was such an amazing young man. So much power, but he had no desire to use it, he'd leave it behind if he could. She didn't think he would be able to, though. Jurai would call for him eventually whether he liked it or not. And the mysterious Lady Tokimi, whoever that was, had certainly taken an interest in their lives. That was going to catch up to them eventually.
She materialized her keyboard and tried to start inputting some data for her newest experiment, the trans-dimensional time-shift pocket. She couldn't concentrate on it, however. Was she better off getting out of the game now, so that when Tenchi finally came to some decision she wouldn't get hurt? And what would happen to her relationship with Ryoko if Tenchi should happen to pick her over her own daughter? They'd started forming a small bond, though Ryoko wouldn't admit to it yet. She had started referring to Washu as mom or mother most of the time now, even though she did it with sarcasm. It was only a matter of time before the sarcasm slipped away.
But she didn't like giving up, it wasn't in her nature. She didn't fail at any of her experiments, except when Mihoshi got involved. And she didn't want to just give up on Tenchi for fear of some pain. She'd felt more pain than she could have possibly imagined at the loss of her husband and son, and she'd survived. She couldn't have ever expected someone like Tenchi to come along and make her want to risk that much pain again, but there he was, and she was chasing after him like a schoolgirl. She kept herself under control in general, but when she got him alone she started to feel a little giddy. It was not a good state for a scientist to find herself in.
All she could do was try and patch things up with her daughter as best she could and hope for the best. If the time ever came when Tenchi actually made a commitment to someone, they'd deal with the consequences. It wasn't really her nature as a scientist not to plan for things, but she didn't want to treat Tenchi like a scientific experiment any more, that hadn't gotten her anywhere. She was ready to let her heart run once again, and let her brain follow along, instead of the other way round.
--
Kiyone rummaged around in the Yukinojo shuttle cabin, ostensibly checking to see if she and Mihoshi had received any messages. She hadn't expected any, and hadn't gotten any, nor had Mihoshi. What Kiyone had been looking for was some time alone with her thoughts.
This competition for Tenchi was starting to get her frazzled. The tension in this house was subtle, but always present. Everyone got along so well, in general, not counting Ayeka's and Ryoko's outbursts which Kiyone wasn't convinced were even genuine any more, that you might not notice the tiny flares of jealousy that shot up whenever Tenchi was around. Everyone was so practiced at hiding it from each other, that it probably took an outsider like Kiyone to notice it.
And she'd gotten dragged into it, whether she wanted to or not. Leave it to Mihoshi to get her into a tough situation. No, that wasn't really fair. Mihoshi had encouraged her certainly, but she hadn't removed herself, and she could have if she'd really wanted to. This was new territory for Kiyone, and she was barely managing to keep herself in check.
Tomorrow morning at breakfast according to the agreement in place between all the ladies, her day with Tenchi would begin. She'd rarely had a real relationship with a man before. The few had been short, usually the result of some extremely dangerous mission she'd performed with the Galaxy Police forcing her into close contact with someone. They'd all been over quickly, and none had ever been more than a temporary release. Nothing with the potential for long-term bonding this one might.
She'd be hard-pressed to name some of the men she'd had a relationship with, or recognize them if she passed them on the street. But now, Tenchi's face kept intruding into her thoughts. That scared her as much for the possibility of it affecting her performance as an officer of the Galaxy Police as to the possibility of having a real relationship. She'd always put her career first, but now she was giving in to the possibility of sharing her life with someone, and that would unquestionably force her to react differently in certain situations should that relationship ever truly develop.
She had to decide quickly whether to keep playing or get out. She and Mihoshi were going clothes shopping this afternoon, a notion which truly frightened Kiyone. It had sounded like Sasami was coming along, having outgrown almost everything she had as usual, and that might help. Sasami had a pretty level head, something which couldn't really be applied to Mihoshi. Bouncy was a bit more appropriate.
Kiyone had always dressed for comfort and utility, nothing else made sense to her. Either you were relaxing or you were working, why mess with the most appropriate attire for the situation. Dressing up to impress someone didn't make sense, and showing off her body was not in her nature. She wasn't ashamed of it certainly, she was quite proud of it, but she'd never spent much time wondering what somewhat else might think of it. She was fit and trim, and had a little more muscle development than was typical in a woman. Would Tenchi find that attractive when he had so many other beautiful women around to compare her to?
Deciding to quit wasting time, she headed for the shuttle's exit. Mihoshi was going to drag her shopping no matter what. She shuddered to think what she might end up wearing tomorrow. If worse came to worse, she could always do something to get herself disqualified so that she lost her turn, making it look unintentional.
--
Tenchi walked back to his house after his studying with his grandfather. Today's lessons had been a little better, but hardly fantastic. His head was still spinning with thoughts of the new 'Young Washu'. She'd caught him completely by surprise with that new look. He'd considered the possibility of her using her adult form tonight, but he certainly hadn't expected the young woman he'd been faced with starting at breakfast this morning. He had to admit he found it a little more comfortable to consider a relationship with her in that form. Her child form would make him feel like a pervert, even knowing she was really 20,000 years old. And her adult form was perhaps a little too adult for him. He wasn't completely grown yet, and the thought of a relationship with someone who appeared to be 10-15 years older than him felt weird.
Arriving at his own house, he entered and went to the bathroom to clean up a bit. Long hours of meditation in the shrine left him feeling a little grimy. After washing up, he sprawled out on his couch. He felt his nerves starting to get the better of him, and needed to try and relax. Up until now, his time with Washu had still been in the presence of everyone else. Tonight, he'd be spending an hour or two alone with her here in his 'own' house, and who knew what might happen. He expected Washu to try and do something to convince him to give up that last sample, but he could handle that. It was everything else he wasn't sure he was ready for.
He'd never managed a relationship of any sort with a girl before. Since he and his father had been alone, he'd never had much time when he was in school. Summers studying with his grandfather had taken him away from town when he might have had some time to try his luck with the girls. And now here he was, not just trying to have a relationship with one girl, but five at the same time, six in a sense. Six strong, beautiful, and most definitely alien women.
Washu was a crazy scientist, Kiyone was a hard-working police officer. Ryoko was powerful and brazen, formerly the most dangerous criminal in the galaxy, Ayeka was demure but she was also a princess of a huge galactic empire. Mihoshi was sweet, but sometimes a little panicky, and Sasami, well, if trying to date the other five women at the same time didn't already make him feel like enough of a pervert, he now found himself facing a girl who even though she looked much older was really only thirteen. He knew Sasami thought she was interested in him, and he wasn't ready to think in those terms with her, at least not yet. He also knew how stubborn she could be, and deemed it important to at least give her some personal time. Sasami's old words echoed in his mind, 'You're a naughty boy, aren't you Tenchi?'
He heard the knock on his door, and went to answer it. There was Washu, and again it took Tenchi a moment to get over how attractive she was in that form. He pried his eyes off of the dip in her shirt and asked, "Is it dinner time already?"
"Yep, Sasami sent me to get you. Everyone should be there shortly. Shall we go?"
"I guess so. Sasami wouldn't forgive us if we were late."
--
Dinner had passed fairly uneventfully, though Ryoko and Ayeka had been a little perturbed to lose their usual spots next to Tenchi. Washu sat on his left, and when the argument had broken out between Ayeka and Ryoko over who got the other spot next to him, the matter had been settled by Misaki taking the place to Tenchi's right. She had announced that either she or Funaho would get the extra place next to Tenchi from then on, and no one had dared argue with her.
After dinner and dishes, everyone had retired to the living room to watch TV and have quiet conversations. The atmosphere had been a little strained at first as everyone was conscious of the fact that soon Tenchi and Washu would return to his house to be alone for a while. Only Misaki and Funaho remained unaffected, chatting amiably about raising kids without any regard for those same children who were within earshot. Yosho had only managed to listen for a short time before excusing himself, obviously having endured the treatment from his mother before. Ayeka and Sasami had become increasingly embarrassed as Misaki related stories of the silly things they had done as children.
Everyone had burst out laughing when told of the time Ayeka, about five years of age at the time, had interrupted a state dinner with large numbers of dignitaries and high-ranking officials by approaching her father and swinging on his beard. Ayeka's face had turned crimson as this story was told, and only returned to normal when Misaki continued on to tell of the time Sasami had caused a city-wide panic by releasing all the animals from the royal menagerie when she was four. Some of the larger animals had done significant damage to the palace, and a few people had been scared nearly to death when they encountered a pack of rodents stampeding down the street. They'd been pursued by the fanged Calmantian Hiburos, which according to Washu resembled the timberwolves of North America, except that they had longer teeth.
Finally Washu tired of the waiting and pulled Tenchi up from his spot on the floor, and dragged him to the doorway. "Let's go Tenchi, this is my day. Time's wasting." She ignored the jealous looks she got from everyone as she pulled Tenchi out the door.
--
"So, Tenchi, now that we're alone, what were you planning on doing with me?" Washu put on her best innocent face, batting her eyes at Tenchi.
"I'm warning you, Young Washu, no funny business. I just want to spend some time with you, that's all, okay?"
"So you haven't even thought about what you'd like to do tonight, then?"
Tenchi rubbed the back of his head, getting a little nervous. He hadn't thought that far ahead. He'd just assumed they'd sit and talk and things would go wherever they went. She'd obviously been expecting him to plan something for her. Thinking quickly he blurted out the first idea he could come up with.
"Well, I kind of envisioned this as a time to get to know more about you. But I suppose we could..."
"Yes?"
"Um, well, we could watch a movie?" Tenchi cringed, thinking how lame that sounded. 'She's going to hate me for this, she was expecting something romantic and all I could come up with was that.'
"A movie sounds nice. What did you have in mind?"
Tenchi managed to breathe again. "Well, I thought I'd let you choose something. If none of the stuff I have looks good, I figured you could probably tune something in somehow. You're good at that kind of stuff, you know?"
"Just good? I think I'm insulted Tenchi. I'm the greatest scientific genius in the universe, and all you can say is I'm 'good' at that stuff?"
"I'm sorry, Young Washu, you're amazing, no, fantastic, at that stuff. Please, do what you do better than everyone else."
"Now that's more like it. You've got good manners when you try. Well, let's see what I have to work with."
Washu rummaged through Tenchi's assortment of movies, not finding anything to her liking. After discarding all of them, she turned to his TV, pulled a universal tuning array like the one in the main house out of subspace, and attached it to the small TV present in the house. She fiddled with it for a while, until she found what she was looking for.
"There we go, I knew it would be being broadcast from somewhere in the galaxy."
She settled back onto the small couch beside Tenchi, and folded her legs underneath her. Tenchi leaned back into the corner, trying to leave as much space as possible between them without being obvious about it.
"What the heck? That looks like 'Godzilla'. I didn't know you liked that kind of thing, Young Washu."
"Actually, that's not Godzilla, just watch Tenchi."
Tenchi sat back and watched with amusement as he realized that what had originally looked like a giant lizard was really just a tiny one living in a mad scientist's lab, trying frantically to escape. The buildings it had knocked over when she first turned it on had really been the scientist's child's toys. The camera angle had tricked you into thinking it was bigger than it really was. After a while, some of the devices concocted by the scientist to try and recapture the lizard were truly frightening, most not recognizable to Tenchi at all.
"Where do you think they got the idea for Godzilla? Someone smuggled in a broadcast of 'Chiho's escape' a few years back. I recognized it the first time I saw 'Godzilla' playing on your normal TV."
"That's amazing, Young Washu. I always thought that was an original."
"Very little here on earth is actually an original, Tenchi. You live on a pretty isolated world that's way behind the times from the galaxy's perspective, you know."
"Yeah, I guess I know that now. It's still hard to try and think in those terms, though. You ladies have sure turned my world on its head. I thought I was going to live a nice boring life, becoming an architect like my dad, or maybe a priest like Grandpa, and then all of a sudden I'm being attacked by aliens and flying through space. It's still hard to believe."
"You don't resent us, do you Tenchi? Taking away your simple life?"
"No, no I don't. Not any more, any way. I did a little bit at first, because it was so hard to adjust. After my mother died it was just us three bachelors, and I didn't even see grandpa much except during the summers. But now, even though the house is crowded, I couldn't imagine it being any other way. It just feels normal now."
"That's good. I've always been afraid I made you feel like Chiho there. I hope you're not scared of me, are you Tenchi?"
Tenchi turned away from the TV to look at Washu. She was looking at him with glistening eyes, and Tenchi knew he couldn't say the wrong thing now.
"Of course not, I'm not scared of you. A little scared of some of your experiments, maybe, but not of you. I know you wouldn't intentionally do anything to harm me, or anyone else here."
"Yeeha!" Washu threw herself at Tenchi with that statement, and kissed him on the cheek. He was so surprised it took him a moment to realize she was on top of him on the corner of the couch and he had nowhere to escape.
"Um, Young Washu?"
"Yes, Tenchi?" Washu continued planting kisses on his cheek, each one a little closer to his mouth than the previous.
"You're, uh, well you're making me a little uncomfortable."
"You know if you loosened up those pants, you'd be less uncomfortable."
"Geez, that's not what I meant. I mean, I don't think I'm ready to sit on a couch kissing with any of you yet. That's what you're trying to do here, isn't it?"
"What's wrong with that, hmm, Tenchi?" Washu finally lifted herself off of Tenchi enough to look him in the eyes. "So you want to spend some time alone with each of us, and do nothing but talk and watch movies? I guess that's up to you, Tenchi. You're missing out on a big opportunity here, though. All of us would be more than willing to 'sit on a couch kissing' with you, and I'm pretty sure my daughter and even Ayeka would do more than just that if you wanted to. I might too, if you asked me right. I've been alone for a long time."
Tenchi's face had been heating up, but that thought was too much, and he had to pinch his nose closed to try and stop the blood. He had to take a few moments to collect himself, all the time Washu silently watching him to see how he would react. He finally got himself under control, and faced Washu again.
"I'm just not ready for what you're suggesting, Washu. It's too early, and too big a commitment. Maybe if only one of you was here, but I can't do that until I figure out what I'm really feeling. You understand don't you?"
"I do Tenchi. I'm not sure some of the others do, but I understand. They're all so young and inexperienced in comparison. I doubt any of them have had any real serious relationships before, either. I know I'm the only one who's ever been married."
"Yeah, I suppose that's true. I just can't fathom 20,000 years. That's longer than the recorded history of earth pretty much. Don't you ever get bored?"
"Sometimes. I pick up hobbies from time to time, just like anyone else, but of course my experiments always occupy my time, too. Didn't you wonder where I learned how to fight?"
"Well, now that you mention it, yeah I was kinda wondering about that. It's so different from your normal."
"How old are you? Eighteen, right. How many hobbies have you picked up in that time?"
"Well, I really don't have much for hobbies. I've had to spend so much of my time working, or looking after dad and grandpa. I suppose the closest you might find would be I like to do sketches. I think I get that from my dad."
"So you're eighteen, and you have a hobby. I'm 20,000. Even throwing out the 5,000 years I was trapped by Kagato, how many hobbies do you think I might have picked up in my time?"
Tenchi whistled as the possibilities crossed through his mind.
"That's right, I've had lots. They come and go over time, but I've tried all sorts of things you probably can't even imagine. I've tried singing, pottery, martial arts, obviously. I even tried fan dancing once. I'll show you that some time if you want." She chuckled at the confused look on Tenchi's face. "Trust me, you'd enjoy it."
With a scratch of his head and a yawn, Tenchi replied, "I'll take your word for it. I think it's about time for bed, Young Washu. I'm pretty beat. It's been a long day."
"Okay, where do I sleep?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I'll sleep in your bed with you if you want, Tenchi, but I thought you weren't ready for that."
"Ah well, I kind of thought..."
"Thought what? It's my day, and I'm going to use all of it. I've slept in your room before, you know."
"Yeah but that was..."
"Yes?"
"Um, I don't really have any place for you. Could you, you know, make a bed?"
"Of course I can make a bed. I'm surprised you haven't learned by now. First you put the sheets on, then the blankets, then..."
"Arrgghh!"
"I tell you, no sense of humor. Fine, hear goes." Washu opened up a portal to subspace, larger than usual. "Just reach in there and pull it out, Tenchi."
"Who, me?" Tenchi eyed the hole nervously.
"Well you don't expect little old me to haul a bed out of there, do you?"
"No, I suppose not." Tenchi tentatively reached into the hole, shivering as his arm seemed to disappear. When his hand finally encountered something, he grabbed it and pulled it out quickly.
"Heh, heh. Young Washu?" Tenchi held out something that looked vaguely like an umbrella.
"Well, obviously that's not it, go ahead and put that back. I'm sure I had that portal adjusted correctly, try it again."
Tenchi reached in again, and this time his hand encountered something that felt like a mattress. He gave a tug, surprised at how easily it moved. In fact it slipped right out of the hole until he had it out completely before he finally felt the weight. He carefully set the futon down on the floor, and then put the umbrella-like object back. Washu let the portal close when he was done.
"How about we put it over here?" Tenchi pulled a lamp out from the corner by his bed, leaving just enough space to put the futon next to his bed.
"That's fine, thank you Tenchi."
"All right, I'm going to wash up for the night, I'll be back in a bit."
While he was away, Washu briefly morphed her clothes into a few different styles of pajamas, not liking any of them. Finally she settled on just a long t-shirt, barely coming down past her hips. She was sitting on the end of his bed when he came back in, legs crossed. Tenchi froze at the sight, and his hand twitched instinctively for his nose. Washu smiled when she noticed his lack of reaction.
"Ahh, Young Washu?"
"Last chance to give me that sample, Tenchi."
"I told you, no funny business. I'm not ready."
"Too bad, it's your loss."
Washu jumped down from the bed, and crawled under the covers of the futon, not making any effort to keep her t-shirt from riding up and showing off her underwear. Tenchi couldn't stop it that time and had to pinch his nose closed. Washu sighed and thought to herself, 'I suppose it's too much to hope for, to cure him in one night.'
Once Tenchi had himself under control again, he leaned down and smiled at Washu. "Sweet dreams, Young Washu." Then he leaned closer and planted a soft kiss on her lips. He chuckled as he climbed into bed, Washu had frozen stiff at the kiss. He'd surprised himself with that, and obviously her, but it had felt right at the time.
He turned out the lights, and pulled up the covers when he heard Washu say, "You're going to have to practice, Tenchi. I've received better kisses from a Calmantian Hiburo."
Neither noticed as Nobuyuki was hurled away from the house by the device Washu had installed to keep him from filming anything. --
Kiyone slipped out the front door of the house, hoping nobody had noticed her doing so. She quietly started walking down the shore of the lake towards Tenchi's house. She had gotten to within about 50 feet when...
"What are you doing, Kiyone?"
"Yaahh! Where'd you come from Mihoshi?"
"Well, that's a good question. I was looking for my slippers, but I couldn't seem to find them. So I was looking around for someone to ask about them, but everyone seemed to have disappeared. I saw Ryoko phase up through the roof, so I thought I'd come out and ask her, but I got turned around trying to figure out what part of the roof she might have come out from. I was just walking around the outside trying to see if I could spot her, then I saw you. So what are you doing out here?"
"Ah, well, you see I was just out for a stroll, really."
"Well you need to be careful. You don't want to get too close to Tenchi's house. They'll think you're spying and you'd lose your turn. You wouldn't want that, would you?"
"Umm... no?"
"That's good. Now let's get back to the house. Do you know where my slippers are?" Mihoshi grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the house. 'Scratch that idea,' thought Kiyone. 'Now I'm stuck for it tomorrow.'
As they were nearing the house, Kiyone noticed Ryoko sitting on the edge of the roof, watching Tenchi's house. 'She's probably not taking this well' thought Kiyone. 'Having your mother after the same man as you, I can't even imagine that. And I'm not helping any, either, with my participation. What a mess.'
--
Comments and Criticism definitely wanted. It's hard to improve without it.