Ch 4- Secrets

Lizzie sat in the school bathroom and threw up. She's 18...she didn't need this. She hurled the stick across the stall and it bounced off the walls and came back to her feet. The girl just stared at it for a minute and then began to cry softly.

"Lizzie!! Hey, I have the stuff you were looking for," Kate sang out the next day.

"What?" Lizzie said in return.

"At my house. What you wanted...I have it."

"Right!! Ok...uuummmm...how much do I owe you?"

"Forget it girl. Think of it as early grad present," Kate answered as she walked away.

"So did you do it?" her partner asked.

"Yes I did it. I told I would didn't I?"

"Well I just know how you are and everything..."

"Jealous? Wanna live life on the wild side and party Sanchez?" Kate said sarcastically.

"I do party," Miranda replied offended.

"Oh honey, a pajama jammy-jam with juice boxes don't count," she said as she wrapped an arm around Miranda.

"Go to hell. Listen, you said you wanted to help Lizzie. That's the only reason why we're even talking. So let's just stay on topic."

"Fine by me little Ms. Priss."

Miranda let that comment slide and instead asked, "So what did you put in there anyway?"

"Family recipe."

She gave Kate a dirty look to which she responded, "Relax!! Regular tobacco only with some basil and shit. No oregano...ok Mom?"

"This better work Sanders," Miranda replied as she walked away. Kate hoped it would too. She had put regular spices in there in hopes to throw Lizzie off into thinking she was really smoking weed, but really just regular tobacco. The thing was, was that Lizzie was an "experienced" smoker so she might catch on to it. But for all their sakes, Kate really hoped that she didn't.

Lizzie tossed the bag aside as she entered her room. She didn't want it. Well, she did, but at the same time knew that it was really fucking up her life. She was addicted and she knew it. Lizzie reached into the bag and pulled out a rolled up joint and found her lighter. This would make her feel better...anything would really make her feel better. But as she brought the lighter to the joint clenched in her fingers, her hand started to shake and she slowly put it down.

"No," she said as she gathered it up and walked over to Kate's.

"Miranda!"

The petite brunette stopped and quickly turned around.

"What are you doing?"

"Going home."

"What's say you and me go somewhere??" the boy asked.

Miranda swallowed and smiled as she got into the car. Where they were going, she didn't care.

Gordo sighed as he sat against his bedroom wall. After what he said to Lizzie yesterday, he came home and got sick. Gordo threw up over a girl. Yeah, that never happened before. But he felt like a dick for what he said to her and wanted to take it back. The problem was that he said that he didn't want to see her again. That was a lie. She was his best friend, the closest thing he had to a sister. It actually got to the point where she slept over so often that he kind of missed the feel of her in his bed late at night. Then his mind flashed back to the two of them swirling around in his bed, naked as they made love. Suddenly, he remembered why he didn't want to see her. She took the only thing that he still had away from him. Granted, he consented, but to her, he was just another guy on her list. How could he face her and watch her throw herself at guys when he just wanted to have her all to himself. And try as he might, he couldn't get the image of the two of them doing that, that fateful night, of his head. And as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted more.

"What's the matter with it?" Kate demanded as Lizzie threw the bag on her kitchen counter.

"Nothing. It's just that...I'm trying to quit."

Kate just laughed. "No offense Lizzie but you trying to quit equals me being a cheerleader again."

"I'm serious. God my life is so screwed up it isn't even funny. I want it back. I want to know what the hell I'm doing night after night and I wanna know who with. Besides, I can't anymore," she said softly.

"Why?"

"Look I just can't ok? Just take your bag and leave me alone," she snapped as she turned to walk out.

"I know it sounds cliché and all, but you can trust me. It's not like I have anyone to tell. Well except the night sky when I talk to it at night."

Lizzie just smiled a sad smile as she walked out. Kate shook her head...was Lizzie really trying to clean up her act or had she just caught on to their little plot?

"Liz!!" Gordo yelled as he jogged up to her when he saw her walking down the street.

"If you want to insult me, get in line."

"I'm sorry," he stated, catching her off guard.

"What?"

"For yesterday. I was an asshole and I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she replied as she continued walking.

"Is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly.

"Why do you care?" she replied harshly.

"I said I'm sorry!! What else do you want me to do?"

"Sorry doesn't make it ok Gordo!! God do you want to know how many things I wish I could take back with a sorry?? It doesn't work, it never works!!" she finished as a yell.

"Do you wanna come inside and talk?" he said quietly after her outburst.

"No. There's nothing to talk about, right?"

"Lizzie..."

"Save it. You want me out of your life, and now I am. Happy?" she said as she stalked down the street.

"I love you!" he yelled down the street. Oh my God, he really just did that. He really just told her how he felt. This would be interesting.

"Fuck you!!" she screamed as she came back and slapped again, for the second time in a week.

"What?? Can't take it?? I love you Liz!!!"

"That won't fix things!!! What's done is already done Gordo!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he said confused. Were they still talking about her not being in his life?

"I'm pregnant ok?" she spat out.

"What?" he said turning pale.

"Yeah. Happy?"

"So is it mine?" he said cautiously.

"I'm not that big of a slut thank you," she answered in response. The next thing she saw was Gordo hit the ground as he passed out.

"Same time tomorrow?" the boy asked Miranda.

"Umm..." she paused while buttoning up her blouse.

"Double or nothing..." the guy wheedled.

"Fine," she answered as he walked by and gave her an appreciative glance.

She knew it was wrong. She hated doing it. She hated being labeled most of all, so that's why no one knew about it...not even Gordo. But hey, Yale isn't going to pay for itself is it??