Chapter 17
Sucked In To Giving a Damn

Haley closed her eyes and counted to sixty, again. For the twelfth time... make that thirteenth time, Haley counted to sixty. The doctors had said one more minute. The doctors had said she would get to see him in one more minute. Now here she was, thirteen "one more minutes" later and she still hadn't seen him. She still didn't know if her husband, actually estranged husband was going to live to see their first child born.

Hours earlier she was almost positive she would be okay if Nathan just fell off the face of the planet and never tried to see her again. How quickly things change. Haley still hated him for what he had done. If he loved her like he said he did, he would have been faithful, but things were now on her shoulders. If she loved him like she said she did, she would sit in the waiting room praying that he would be okay.

If only this had happened months ago, then she would have wanted him to be in perfect condition. She would have wanted him to walk out of the hospital without a single scratch or bruise.

Now she didn't know what she wanted.

In the front of her mind, she was thinking, "Karma's a bitch. He deserved this. He screwed me over. He cheated on me with that skank Eliza and now here I am five months pregnant, living with my parents again, hoping and praying that I can find someone who I loved as much as I loved him..."

She knew she may never love again... and that scared her.

That scared her more than the dark, more than spiders, and more that Peyton's driving. Being alone and never being in love scared her.

She looked down at the ground and closed her eyes again, hoping that when she opened them again this would all be over.

In her mind she thought of her baby, their baby, this new being living inside her, feeding off of everything she did. She didn't want the baby to know how upset she was. Haley put her hands atop her stomach and slowly looked up.

Her eyes opened and Lucas stood infront of her. The look on his face made her want to scream and so she did.

"What!" She yelled at the top of her lungs as she stood up and threw herself at Lucas.

Luckily, Lucas was prepared for this and immediately put his arms out to catch her. "Hales." He whispered.

Everything was setting in. Haley was too tired to look up. She didn't want to know what was about to be said. She knew what lucas had to say would not be good. He would tell her that Nathan was in a coma or Nathan was dead or something even worse. Then he said it, the something worse.

"He wants to see you, Hales. He's asking for you." Lucas said as he ran his hand over Haley's hair.

Haley looked up at him. Her big brown eyes pleaded with him, "No Luke. Really I can't go in there." She put her head on his shoulder and whispered, "I can't."

"You have to." He whispered back. She shook her head and Lucas put his hands on her shoulders. "Hales," He whispered, "I don't know how much you know about what happened but... Nathan, is not doing so well. He..."

"Stop talking to me like I am an idiot Lucas and just tell me if he is going to be okay or not. Because if he is then I am going to either sit out her and bitch about how Nathan always did things on his own time or I am going to go home and twiddle my thumbs and moan about how messy my room is. But if he isn't going to be okay, then I am going to go in there, sit with him, and..." Tears started to swell up in the corners of her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. Her voice became strained, "and... tell him how much I will miss him and loved him and how I wish that I had told him about the baby..."

"Shh." Lucas said, putting his index finger over Haley's mouth.

"Just tell me the truth, Luke." She whispered to him.

Lucas shook his head, "Not good, Hales. It's not looking good so, um, if I were you I would go in there and do what I had to do."

She lowered her head and walked toward the nurse, "Can you take me to Nathan Scott's room please?"

In a low, sweet voice the nurse said, "And you are... his sister?"

Haley sighed, put her hands on her slight stomach and said, "I'm his wife."

The nurse nodded and led Haley to the room.

The walls were blue and cold and unlike most hotel rooms this one was empty. No flowers, no nothing. Haley took a deep breath and tried to speak. Nothing came out. Her hands remained on her stomach as she walked closed toward the bed.

She watched his eyes flutter a little. She knew he must be dozing off and desprately wanted to leave, knowing how Nathan acted when being awoken from a nap. As she tried to tip toe out of the room she kicked the edge of the bed. She whipped around and saw Nathan move. "Damn." She muttered.

He groaned a little until he realized the person in the room was his former wife. "Haley." He said. He looked terrible. His face was covered in cuts still red from the blood that must have poured from the wounds. Nathan must have knew what she was thinking, "You should see the car. Lucas said it was pretty bad."

All Haley could do was nod. The words that usually flowed with no end just wouldn't stream... at all.

The silence in the room was unbearable.

Nathan sturred a little and said, "So I was thinking... about names."

Haley nodded again and remained standing at the edge of the bed.

"You can sit down you know." Nathan said, pointing to the chair next to his bed.

"I'm fine. I would rather stand."

"That way you are in the perfect leaving position, right?"

"Don't even talk to me about leaving Nathan."

"That's not what I meant Haley."

"Then what did you mean."

"I just meant if you sat down it would take you longer to leave. Never mind, just for get I said anything."

Again, she nodded and said nothing.

"But I was thinking about names..." He started to say.

"I already have a name." She said. The words were ice cold and cut through Nathan's heart.

"Oh."

"Jaden." She said. Haley looked down at her watch. "Oh, um, I have to work in a..."

"So it's a boy?" Nathan asked, trying to sit up in the bed.

Haley bit her lip and said nothing.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"To be blunt," She looked up at him, "I didn't want to." His ice blue eyes pierced her heart. She prayed Jaden didn't have those eyes.

"Listen, Haley, I know what I did was wrong..."

"Wow, am I supposed to award you for that? I sat around wondering what I did wrong to make you do what you did. If I said something I shouldn't have or if I didn't do something you asked me. Where did I go wrong?"

"God! Will you just listen to me for one second. I am sorry haley. I am sorry for what I put you through, I am. But if you haven't noticed," Nathan pointed to the equiptment around him, "these machines are the only things keeping me breathing right now. So, you can forgive me now or you can hold a grudge, not forgive me, and have that weight to carry around with you for the rest of you life." He sighed and ran his hands over the sheet covering his body. "No matter what happens, I love you Haley."

"This always happens Nathan, I tell myself that I am going to change and that for once in my life I am going to be strong and do what is right."

"How do you know this is wrong?"

"I don't, I guess. But seriously Nathan, you hurt me. You will never understand how I felt."

"I know and I wish I could."

Haley lowered her head and heard the door open. She turned around.

The nurse stood in the doorway. "Mr. Scott, Mrs. Scott, I'm so sorry but Nathan has really got to get some rest. Doctor's orders."

Haley stood up and put her hand on the door knob.

Nathan said, "Just remember what I told you."

Haley didn't look back. She just walked out of the room.

Brooke, Lucas, Peyton, and Daniel along with Reed and Lilia sat in the waiting room anxiously awaiting Haley's return. Brooke looked as if she was about to burst and the fact that she still had three months left to go Haley could only imagine the size she would be by her due date. Peyton held Reed's hand and Daniel's hand rested on Peyton's shoulder.

Lucas was the only one to speak, "So?"

Haley kept her head down, "I don't exactly want to talk about it." She said to him as she shuffled through her purse for her car keys and her cell phone. Her cell phone reached her hand and the first thing she did, even before she reached the exit, was dial that familiar number. Jake's.