Ch 7- Underneath It All

Lizzie hated this. She hated being pregnant, she how nobody trusted (even if she did bring that one herself) and she hated how she had to put up a front for Gordo and Miranda. Sure thins were great between her and Gordo...but she felt as though she were trapped. She often rocked herself to sleep at night, crying. And of course, nobody had any idea. They thought she was fine and dandy. Oh Lizzie was as far from fine and dandy as one person can get.

"Happy Anniversary!!" Gordo called out that morning as he walked into her house. It had been six months since they started going out and he couldn't be more proud of her. She took on her responsibilities, stopped smoking and actually got sober.

"Gordo?" she asked as she waddled down the stairs.

"Hey Hun," he said kissing her good morning, then kissing her belly.

"What are you doing her? Don't you have a class?"

"Nah, I skipped it. Besides isn't today when we find out about the baby?"

"Yeah," she sighed as she sat down.

"What's wrong?" he asked taking a seat beside her.

"It's just...I'm so tired lately. Renee put me on some night shifts..."

"Did you explain your situation?"

"Gordo she can see my situation," she replied.

"I don't know what to say..."

"It's ok. After the baby's here I can go back to school and be with you. Mom already said she'd take care of the baby."

Gordo just nodded, unsure of what to say. "I talked to Andy last night," he said trying to start up a conversation.

"How's she doing?"

"She's alright. Bummed about Yale, but she's alright."

After Lizzie made the effort to straighten up her act, Miranda had done so as well. Nobody knew but Gordo, but it was ok. She didn't like being the valedictorian who was a secret whore. No matter how many times she told herself it was for school, she always came back to the whore. Finally, she let go of Yale and instead used her "dirty" money to go to NYU.

"Now come one, time to go," he said as he helped her up.

"Congratulations Elizabeth. You have a healthy baby girl," the doctor said as the picture came up on the sonogram screen. Gordo just stared at it, eyes wide. That was his creation. He had never seen anything like it.

"She's beautiful," he breathed.

"Gordo, she's a blob," Lizzie laughed.

"A beautiful blob," he retorted as Lizzie shook her head.

The couple left the doctors office and Gordo took her home. "I'll see you later?" he asked her. She nodded in agreement as he left.

"Love you!"

"Love you too," she called back. She leaned against her shut door. Though she felt trapped, she still loved him. It amazed her that she could actually feel this way; especially for someone she had known her whole life.

"Liz it's me...pick up if you're home..." Kate hung up after that. She had been in the middle of class when she got that feeling. Lizzie was in trouble. Normally when she got those feelings for anyone else they were wrong. Now Lizzie wasn't her best friend, but a good enough of one to where her feelings were never wrong. Kate had just picked up her books and slunk out the back, hoping her professor didn't notice. Now she was en-route to her friends house and got no answer. Kate just shrugged and kept on driving.

"Lizzie?" she called as she walked in. No answer. Her car was in the drive so she was there. Kate started to do a room by room search until she finally got to the bathroom. She knocked on it when she noticed the sliver of light beneath the door.

"Liz?"

Still no answer. With that, Kate tried the door handle. Lizzie looked up as her friend walked in.

"How did you know?" she asked.

Kate just smiled and tapped her head. "What's going on?"

"My mom made me go to a church rummage sale with her today..."

"Ok..." Kate said not following her train of thought.

"Oh my God it was awful! Everybody stared at me and started whispering. One lady even came up to me and asked me if I knew that I was carrying an abomination," she said as she started to cry.

"Oh honey," Kate said as she took her in her arms. She rubbed her back and smoothed her hair as she spoke next.

"They don't know you Liz. They don't know all the shit you've been through. Forget them!"

"That's easy for you to say Kate. You're not the one harboring an 'abomination'. God I wish I could feel like you...but all I feel is dirty."

"It's alright," Kate said as she continued her rubbing her back.

"I can't take it anymore Kate. I really can't."

"What do you mean?" Kate asked confused. All she got back in response was Lizzie sobbing in her arms.