I actually had time to write! I know I have to update my other story (A Change of Life). I'm actually having a bit of a struggle trying to get the next chapter together. If anyone has any ideas on how I could piece it together, I'm all ears. Thanks to those who have been so patient:

KeNsHiNs GuRl- I'm actually updating! Whoo-hoo!

Nightfall2525- I definitely agree that they should. I mean, it is about time that they do. Thanks fore reviewin'!

ShadowVixen90- No I haven't ever watched Yu Yu Hakusho before. I've heard of it but I've never gotten around to watching it. Is it any good?

Ajd262- It's alright! I don't mind. I'm glad you liked that chapter. Now you get to see how Knives will react.

Votuse- Well it wouldn't matter how many months older you were. We're the same age. (giggles) I really love your drabbles. Keep it up! I enjoy reading them!

ender2256- Now you don't have to wait anymore and I definitely second on that that we should have more breaks.

Pyro- Noooooooooo!!!!! You stole my lovers! (bawls brains out)

You (rolls eyes): Jeez, I'll give them back to you.

Me: Yayayayayay!!!!

i-luv-knives- I love Knives too! He is one of the gods I worship.

hope-is-4ever- I don't know how far I will push the R rating. I think I'll go as far as I can as long as the story lets me.

Me: Okie-day, it's disclaimer time.

Sesshy: This Sesshomaru will do the disclaimer for you.

Me (gets struck by sexiness): L-Lord S-S-Sesshomaru?

Disclaimer: This human author claims that "she doesn't own Trigun or any of its characters."

Me (blushes): Why thank you Lord Sesshomaru! Whatever made you- (Sesshy brings me closer to him) err…what are you doing?

Sesshy (sniffing my neck): Your scent is quite alluring. (Knives walks in)

Knives: What the hell are you doing with my girl?

Sesshy: She's your woman.

Knives: Damn right she is.

Sesshy (unsheathes Tokijin): I'll fight you for her.

Knives (cocks his gun): Bring it on dog breath!

Me (sweatdrops): Not again… Oh well, here's Chapter 4!

Chapter 4: Questionings of the Heart

Knives stared back at Milly intently. He didn't deny the fact that he enjoyed that kiss. It was filled with so much innocence and affection. Does she really like me that way? Or is this just the alcohol? His gaze traveled down her body. Her skirt was hiked half way up her thighs because of the intimate position she was in on top of him. Knives' eyes trailed back up to her half-lidded eyes, looking at him in a daze. Should I? I guess there's no harm in doing so. She won't remember when the morning comes…

He slowly brought his hand around her neck. Milly gasped slightly in fear. Uh oh…now I really did it this time. She looked into his eyes. What she saw was neither anger nor hate but a sort of melancholy gaze. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck and gently grasped some of her hair.

"Mr. Knives?" she questioned softly. Milly squeaked as Knives jerked her head towards his and their lips met in a mighty clash. She softly moaned and let her eyes drift close. Once again she wrapped her arms around his neck and he straightened her body against his. Knives felt a wandering tongue against his lips and slightly parted them. Milly boldly pushed her tongue into his mouth and it was Knives' turn to gasp slightly. In the next second, he had his stroking against hers. She tasted of alcohol and something unique that was just Milly.

Milly slid her hands down his chest and began to tug his shirt out of his pants. Knives barely registered what Milly was doing and didn't make any movement to stop her. She slipped her hands underneath his shirt and felt his smooth, solid body ripple. Milly let her lips trail down to his neck where she nipped and suckled on his skin. Knives, at the moment, felt like he had been drugged with lust. He thought he had some sort of control over the situation but it seemed to be quite the contrary. Knives realized that two hands were exploring his body and he knew he had to stop this.

"Milly, that's enough," said Knives, trying to sound stern. Milly brought her head up and a twinkle in her eyes clearly told him that she wasn't through yet. She playfully nipped his bottom lip.

"Relax. Enjoy yourself for a change," Milly mumbled. Her hands began to slide down to his waistline. Knives' breath hitched in his throat as a ghost of a touch glided in between his legs. He yanked her hand up and looked at her in bewilderment.

"I think we should go," said Knives breathlessly.

"Why? We're having so…much…fun…" Knives watched as Milly's eyes rolled back in their sockets and she fell limp in his lap. He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. A slight snore emitted from Milly as he stood up and shifted her body in his arms so that he could carry her more comfortably.

"Where are you going with that fine lady?" asked a nearby drunk.

"None of your pathetic business," said Knives scowling at the man.

"If she's too much of a bother, just hand her over to me," he said, giving lewd looks at Milly. In the next moment, the drunk found himself on the floor with a broken jaw.

"What the fuck did you do to my fuckin' face?" shouted the man. Knives silently exited out of the saloon, ignoring the man's incessant yelling. Pathetic spider…

Knives' POV

The moons are shining brightly tonight. I usually don't bother observing things like that, but they stand out tonight. Looking down at the woman in my arms, I really wonder now if she will remember anything that happened tonight. Milly's lingering taste tempted me again to kiss her again but I restrained myself in doing so. These feelings inside of me were actually frightening me. I had never felt these feelings before; therefore I couldn't recognize them. What was it? Liking? Lust? Passion? Lo- Ha! Don't even go there! There is no such thing as love. Milly shifted in my arms and snuggled into my chest.

"Knives," she sighed.

My heart clenched. Was this woman actually attracted to me? Doesn't she realize I murdered her late lover? Whatever feelings I was feeling now, I wanted to diminish it. I wanted to forget that this night ever happened. Tomorrow, it would be like as if nothing ever happened. Plus, I didn't want to be near her ever again. I did not want to get attached to a human.

When I reached the house, I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I decided to put Milly to bed and take a thorough shower to rid myself of her alluring scent. I opened the door to Milly's room and walked the small distance to her bed. Sitting down on her bed, I gently unwrapped myself from her embrace and laid her down. I sat there for a while gazing at her. I pushed a few strands off her forehead. She looked ethereal with only the moon as a source of light. I stood up and took one last glance at her. Her soft lips tempted me again and I gave in for one last time. I bent down and pressed a soft kiss on her lips and immediately left her room.

Meryl's POV

It's so stuffy, I thought groggily. I opened my eyes slowly and looked down. An arm was draped across my stomach. That is not my arm. Slowly, I turned my head to the side and came face to face with the sleeping blond gunman. VASH!?!? Why is he in my bed? Did he sleep with me last night? No shit Sherlock. His hair had drooped over his forehead. Damn he is so hot… A slight grunt from Vash made me freeze. He had snuggled even closer to me, burying his head into my neck. I gasped softly as his hand began to move up my body.

He better pray that he's still asleep. I felt his lips slowly moving on my neck in a dreamless kiss. My breath became irregular as his warm breath blew gently on my skin. I watched silently as his hand came closer to my chest.

"Meryl," moaned Vash. I jumped slightly thinking that he had awoken but he was still asleep. "So…beautiful." Tears sprang to my eyes. Does he think I'm really beautiful? That was so sweet… I immediately froze as his hand covered my breast. Damn nasty pervert…

"VASH!!!" I screeched as loud as I could. Vash's head snapped up, his aqua eyes searching the room.

"What happened? What's going on?" Vash said frantically.

"Get your freaking hand off of me," I growled.

"Wha-" Vash looked down and blushed. He quickly took his hand away from me. "I-I'm sorry Meryl." Vash scrambled off of the bed and kept a safe distance away from me. I rolled my eyes.

"It's alright," I sighed. "I'm not going to kill you."

"You couldn't even if you tried," smirked Vash. I laughed softly.

"Can't argue you with you there." Vash timidly came closer to me and I pulled the covers back. He jumped back into bed like a little kid and I resisted the temptation to smack him on the head. Vash pulled me closer to him and I relished in the warmth that his body gave off. If only I could do this every morning.

"So why were you here last night?" I asked him.

"You called me to you. I think you were having a bad dream last night. You cried my name out numerous times and it sounded like you were in pain. I had to come to you to prevent you from moving all over the place," said Vash. I nodded.

"I'm sorry Vash," I said.

"For what?"

"For being such a burden. I'm supposed to be watching over you and Knives, not the other way around," I said.

"You are not a burden to me," said Vash. "I enjoy helping out as much as I can."

"That's why you have such a big heart," I said. He gently rubbed my hands. I began to feel uncomfortable again. My chest began to throb slightly and I sat up clutching my chest. Vash sat up with me and frowned.

"What's wrong Meryl?" said Vash.

"It's nothing," I said. The throbbing ceased and I relaxed somewhat.

"Yes there is. I've seen you clutching yourself many times already. What's wrong? I can help you. Please let me help you." I turned to him and saw how desperate he looked. He wanted to ease my pain so badly. I shook my head and grasped his hands.

"I'm sorry Vash. You can't help me this time."

Milly's POV

I woke up bright and early as usual. My memory of last night was a bit hazy. I don't know if this was true or not but I vividly recall kissing Knives. Perhaps it was all a dream? It felt so real though. I touched my lip and shivered. Wait, how did I get up here? I didn't recall going to bed. Did I- I must've passed out at the saloon last night again. Knives had carried me home last night. A faint blush emerged on my cheeks.

"Thank you Knives," I said softly. I brushed my hair in front of the mirror. Knives has really changed. I can see it in his eyes. Malice and insanity no longer lingered in his them. His eyes… They were cold yet warm at the same time. Those eyes could make anyone fall under his whim. Hypnotic, seduct-

Whoa! Am I attracted to Knives? No, no, no, no, no! I can't be! He killed Nick. He murdered Nick. My first love. How could I give in to Knives like that? I tried to rid his face out of my head but I couldn't. Tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn't like Knives like that. It wasn't right. Wouldn't I be betraying Nick? Oh Nick, what am I to do? I think I'm falling for the ice king…

Meryl walked downstairs to find Milly sitting alone at the dinner table. She looked around to find Vash and Knives nowhere near. Meryl walked over to Milly and sat across from her.

"Where's Vash and Knives?" asked Meryl.

"They went to go get some groceries," said Milly cheerfully, although it sounded a bit strained.

"Is something wrong Milly?" asked Meryl. Milly looked up at Meryl and sighed. She took a sip of her tea and told Meryl what was on her mind.

"Last night, I went out with Knives-"

"WHAT! You went out with Knives?" said Meryl in a high-pitched tone. Milly ducked her head down to hide the blush that was forming across her cheeks. She nodded.

"Yeah I did," said Milly quietly.

"Oh Milly. You shouldn't have. It's not good to get mixed up with people like him," said Meryl.

"Don't say that," said Milly bitterly. Meryl gasped silently. Never had Milly used that tone of voice on her. It shocked her.

"I'm sorry Milly. It wasn't right of me to say such a thing. Please continue," said Meryl.

"So I went out with Knives to a saloon and I had a wonderful time with him." Milly giggled slightly. "Of course I was dead drunk and, well, I-I think…" This time Milly's blush grew even brighter. "I think I kissed him," finished Milly in a miniscule voice. Meryl's jaw dropped. Milly kissed Knives?!?! Ewww…

"Are you sure that…you kissed him?" asked Meryl, disgust clearly written all over her face.

"I strongly think I did," said Milly. She covered her cheeks with her hands. "Then I believe I passed out at the saloon because in the morning I woke up in my bed." Meryl let this sink in her mind.

"So what's bothering you?" asked Meryl.

"I think I like Knives," said Milly softly.

"Well of course you do. You like everyone-"

"No! Not as a friend. I think I like him like him," said Milly. Oh no… thought Meryl. Milly's falling for a psychopath!

"Milly, I don't mean to be rude but-"

"It's okay Meryl. I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me that I shouldn't get too close with Knives because he's still potentially dangerous. I don't think Knives is dangerous anymore. Knives has changed! I see it in his eyes. Why can't you accept Knives? Why can't you be nice to him?" said Milly.

"Because he almost killed Vash!" cried Meryl. A moment of silence passed between the two insurance girls. Milly softly sighed and reached over to grasp Meryl's hand.

"I know that Meryl, but can't you see how Knives has changed?" Meryl reluctantly nodded. "This pass year has been spent trying to show Knives a different point of view in life. He may still despise humans but at least it isn't to the point where he wants to kill them. I know his attitude needs a little bit of improvement though." Meryl chuckled at that. "That can be easily fixed hopefully." Meryl gently squeezed Milly's hand.

"Alright, I trust that you'll have the better judgment," said Meryl. She made a move to get up from the table when Milly stopped her.

"There's one more thing I need to ask of you Meryl," said Milly. Meryl sat back down and gave Milly her full attention. "Is it alright to feel this way for someone who murdered Nick?" Meryl bit her lip. Was it all right? Meryl contemplated this and found the answer to be quite simple.

"If you listen to your heart Milly, it'll guide you in the right direction," said Meryl.

"Then how come you don't follow what you say?" asked Milly. This caught Meryl off guard. Meryl tried to pretend that she wasn't following Milly.

"I don't understand what you're talking about," said Meryl, who immediately stood up from her chair to walk away.

"Why don't you just tell Mr. Vash that you love him? He has the right to know," said Milly.

"We've been through this before Milly. I wish not to go over it again," said Meryl. Milly studied her expressions. There has to be more than what she has already told me, thought Milly. Let's go through the list: she thinks Vash will leave again, he'll reject her, which is highly unlikely, doesn't want to be a burden to him, the plant/human issue, save him from pain, blah, blah, blah… Hmm, I wonder…

"Rem doesn't have anything to do with this does she?"

I'm sorry if this chapter was kind of boring. It was meant to be more informative. I hope it was decent enough to keep your curiosity going. Now be a good reader and do your thing! (Hint: There's a purple button that you're supposed to click on.) (wink!)