- Y'all know the dilly yo that I don't own Marvel or these characters no matter how hard I wish on that shining star… figures that wishes don't come true… blah blah blah
Author's Note: Yay! I've updated! Now, I have to get busy with updating Shouldn't Be So Hard. I'll try my best, I really will. Anywho, Rogue and Remy are pissing me off a bit… I think I'm gonna kill one of them soon. Blah! I hate cute couples. Anyway, read, review and enjoy!
Alyxandria, Aro, Episodic, Kitsu Lebea, Weapon X 61, T., enchantedlight, demiducky25, Freak87, Allimba, SickmindedSucker, hIIIIIII, TheDreamerLady, Arikitten, Missperfect5:Thank you all for reviewing! I simply enjoyed reading all of it. And many of you have asked about Scotty and Kitty, well, things will be explained in due time! Enjoy everyone!
Ishandahalf: I updated! Sure, it was two days later than I had originally said, but I still did it! Now, I have to go read my decade old comics ;P PomegranateQueen: Aww, thanks! That really means a lot to me! Blows a kiss in your direction :x Lady Farevay: Glad you're liking the Remy aspect of this story. Trust me, it'll get a lot more interesting in the next couple of chapters. Sweety8587: My dear, I wish I could answer your questions but then that will give away the story. And we can't have that right? Dreamcatcher89: you will find out about Jean and Scotty's relationship soon enough. And no phoenix force to be reckon with. Rogue4787: Rogue is about 21, Remy is about 22. Or Rogue is about 20 and Remy is about 21. You can pick either option. And I like Jean.. it's Scott who I have a problem with ;P EmeraldKatsEye: Umm… sure, Rogue's way too in love with Remy… like of course! :P Peace 215: No phoenix first of all! I don't even quite understand the Phoenix so there's no way I would write about it. Okay, and I'll work on updating this story again… (don't hold your breath) and Shouldn't Be So Hard(please don't hold your breath! I don't want to be blamed for any tragic deaths! Much love to you my dear, for your reviews always make me feel so loved :x TheRealMai: Aww… you're so sweet. And your ideas… well, let's just say that I won't use any of them. They're a bit too far-fetched in this story ;p MeWhoExactlyWhat: Thanks for reviewing! Always love it when a new person does :)
On with the story...
Breaking The HabitTurning the doorknob slowly and slipping into the room as quietly as a mouse, she still managed to make her presence felt as he sat up and queried, "Rogue?"
"Hey, sugah. Didn't mean t'wake ya." She apologized and walked over to him.
"Couldn't really sleep wit'out y' here t'tell de truth." He said and smiled at her.
She climbed onto the bed and settled onto his lap. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him gently on the lips. "Well, in that case, Mr. LeBeau… guess, ah'd have to make sure ah'm in bed every time you are." She said coyly as she pulled back.
He smirked at her suggestive comment, and said, "Don't tease dis Cajun, chere. Ain't very nice."
"Who said ah'm teasing?" She responded and kissed him again, but this time much deeper. Pulling her closer to his body, he fell back on the bed with her on top of him. Running her fingers through his hair, she probed his mouth more ravenously as he slowly lifted her shirt off. Returning the favour, she slipped his black t-shirt over his head and pressed her hands on his hard pectorals, simply feeling the sensation of his skin on hers. Since she had been able to touch, she always relished in every physical contact with her love, and never ceased to crave it any less than when she hadn't been able to touch.
Little gasps of ecstasy escaped their lips as they continued to undress each other rapidly. However, just when he was about to undo her bra, he stopped mid-way in action as the memory of blowing her bra up returned. He had almost hurt her. Dropping his hand, he pulled away from her lips. "Chere… I…"
Sighing lightly, she rolled off him and settled beside him instead. "Ah know, sugah. Ah understand." She said comfortingly as she snuggled up to him. He turned to face her and took her petite body into his arms. "Je suis desole." He apologized in a whisper.
"Nothing t'be sorry, about, hon." She said.
"D'accord." He murmured as he held her closer to him while giving her a kiss on her forehead.
"Remy…" She began but quickly stopped herself from asking. Although, she wanted to know why he hid his troubles from her, she couldn't bring herself to do it simply because her fear outweighed her curiosity. She knew that whatever his secret was, it would change their relationship forever more, and she wasn't sure if it would be for the greater or worse. In that very moment in time, where all she wanted was to savor his touch and love, she just wasn't ready to ruin it all by her question.
"Oui, chere?" He queried, waiting for her to ask the question he already knew what it was. She never did though as she replied, "Nothing."
"Rogue, it's okay. I wanna tell y'…" He said supportively, ready to let her know his shameful secrets now since he was convinced that she would love him despite it all. At least, he was willing to risk it for her love – after all, he wasn't called 'Gambit' for nothing.
"Ah don't wanna know just yet. Ah'm not…"
"Ready. I know. Just tell me when, and I'll let y' in, somet'ing I should have done a long time ago… I'm so sor…"
"Shhh…" She said and pressed a finger to his lips to stop him from apologizing again. He quickly obliged to her command and closed his mouth.
No more words were exchanged between the two, as they continued to snuggle. He protectively threw the covers over themselves, and it wouldn't be long before the lovers fell into a light slumber.
-xoxo-
The dining hall was as loud as ever when Gambit and Rogue entered the room, hand in hand. Immediately, the noise subsided as the young mutants all stared at them in shock. Some had known that they were home, some didn't quite believe it, and others were completely surprised that they had returned at all. Considering the circumstances when Rogue had run away, and then Remy soon afterwards, none of the mutants really believed that they would ever returned. It seemed that it would be otherwise.
Glancing nervously at Remy, she squeezed his hand while he cleared his throat and said, "Bonjour mes amis."
Following in suit, Rogue managed to say a bit softer than Remy, "Hi y'all."
Nobody said a word and Kurt rolled his eyes at the rest of the mutants before he got up out of his seat and waved Rogue and Remy over to him. "You two must be famished… c'mon, sit down and eat! Roguey, you're sitting next to me!"
The noise resumed itself as some of the younger mutants welcomed back Rogue and Remy while they walked towards their seats. Seating themselves down, Remy found himself sitting between his precious Rogue and the young mutant, Jubilee. The petite Chinese girl studied him uncertainly and then turned her attention back to her boyfriend, Bobby, in an attempt to prove to the Cajun that she had gotten over him ages ago. Remy merely shrugged as he continued to grip Rogue's hand, feeling rather conscious of being back in a place that was never a home to him in the first place.
Sensing his nervousness, she glanced at him with a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand for support. "It's alright, sugah." She mouthed to him.
Dieu, she's amazing, he thought to himself. It had always been Rogue who was nervous about returning to the Institute, and he was the one who had to keep her from having a panic attack. But now, that they were actually back in the Institute, he had lost his strength and she only took it upon herself to be his strength despite her fear and anxiety of being back here. Leaning in, he gave her a light kiss on the cheek, not caring who witnessed this public display of affection.
"Hey, lovebirds, quit it! We're eating here!" Roberto commented, while some of the other mutants giggled.
"Yeah Yeah… just wait until y' get a girl, Rob… won't be able t'keep your hands off of her." Remy responded snidely and winked at the teenager.
"Hear that, Amara? Be ready t'be fondled all the time!" Bobby burst out and the fiery mutant along with her crush blushed a deep scarlet. The rest of the mutants laughed along as well, and took this as their cue to separate into their multiple of conversations.
Remy smiled smugly at the outcome of his comment, and finally felt more at ease in the Institute. He turned back to Rogue who he could see that her mind was wandering off while Kurt told her of all the different events that had happened in the past few months.
Leaning in again, he kissed her ever so softly and whispered, "Y're so beautiful." She smiled shyly as she brushed him off and tried to focus on her excited brother. He grinned as he turned towards the rest of the party. Not feeling very hungry, he picked at his food while he observed each individual mutant. Rahne and Jamie, at least he was pretty sure that were their names, looked rather shy as they kept glancing at each other and every time they made eye contact, they looked away sheepishly. Ahh… young love, Remy thought to himself. Turning his attention to Kitty, he noticed that she looked withdrawn, as if she was on another planet. There was not a trace of the jubilant peppy girl he had met a couple years ago. Instead, she resembled much like Rogue did in her gothic days – dark clothes, wide sad eyes, and pale face. Suddenly feeling sympathy for the poor girl, he attempted to give her a warm smile. She merely glared at him as she stood up and walked out of the dining room.
"Where did Kitty go?" He heard one of the mutants asked out loud.
"Ohh… y'know her. She's probably gonna go dwell in her room again. Who knows… and frankly, who cares." Another mutant responded coldly.
Feeling Rogue flinch slightly upon hearing the blunt comment; she glanced back at Remy who gave her supportive smile. Turning back to Kurt, she asked him, "Kurt, what's wrong with Kitty?"
"Roguey, it isn't my place to say. You're going to have to find out from her yourself. She's been through a lot, and she doesn't need me breaking her confidence." Kurt responded gently, but rightfully.
"Fine…but, she hates me." Rogue said dejectedly.
"She doesn't hate y', chere. She's scared… sad… remembered how you used t'be?" Remy pointed out slowly.
"What are ya trying t'say, Remy?" Rogue asked, not quite sure what Remy was trying to get at with his statement.
"Just saying, she needs someone, chere. A friend…"
"But she's given up on this friendship…"
"Rogue, y' know better than dat. I mean, I didn't give up you… and look how we turned out. Just don't give up on her." He said understandingly.
Leaning in closer to him, she whispered, "Ya never cease t'surprise me, swamp rat."
"Hey, dat's my purpose in life, chere." He responded coyly and kissed her softly on the lips.
"Dude! Seriously, tone it down! Geez… we never saw Jean and Scott go at it like that…" Ray said and stopped mid-sentence, when he realized that although Jean wasn't at the table, Scott was. And considering Scott was the one who had the ability to shoot optic blasts from his eyes, Ray knew that it was a better idea to keep his eyes on his plate instead of on Scott. However, everyone else's eyes were glued on Scott as he glanced uncomfortably around. Finally he said, "Excuse me, everyone." Then, proceeded to get up and promptly left the room.
"Poor guy… must be really hurting." Rogue said sympathetically, not to anyone in particular.
"What do y' care?" Remy asked rather harshly though it was due to his twinge of jealousy upon seeing Rogue's concern for the X-leader.
"That ain't nice, sugah. And think of it this way, imagine losing me…"
"Don't even say dat, chere. It ain't a joking manner." He interrupted her in a reprimanding tone.
"See… exactly my point. Gosh, things have really gotten messed up here, eh?" She said.
"Oh ain't dat bad…" Remy trailed off due to the familiar burning sensation stimulating in his hand.
"Chere… where's my pills?" He asked in a low worried whisper.
Tensing up, she whispered in Kurt's ear and the blue furry man nodded in understanding. Getting up abruptly, Rogue excused herself and Remy and quickly dragged them both out of the room. "Ya doin' okay, sugah?" She asked, while they practically ran back to their room.
"Yeah… am I hurting you, chere?" He questioned, fearing that perhaps he was burning her skin again.
"No… not yet." She said and rushed into the room. Remy collapsed on the bed while she grabbed the bottle of pills from her coat. Opening it, she hurried over to him and gave him one to swallow. He did precisely that without the help of water, and the burning sensation quickly subsided.
"Ya okay, sugah?" She asked worriedly while observing him cautiously.
"Yeah… I am." He responded, somewhat dismally.
Climbing on to the bed, she snuggled up next to him, but he didn't make any attempts to put his arms around her. Feeling slightly rejected, she asked, "What's wrong, Remy?"
"Just…tired, chere. Mind if I just catch some shut-eye for a bit?" He questioned and looked away from her.
Although her disappointment was evident due to his rejection of her, she knew better than to push him when he wasn't ready to open up to her. So, she simply kissed him on the forehead and murmured, "Sweet dreams, sugah. Ah'll be back in a bit."
"D'accord." He responded quietly and brought his eyes to meet hers. Giving him one last smile, she crawled off the bed and headed for the door.
"Rogue?" He queried and made her stop mid-step. She turned around with eyes already concerned. "Yeah?"
"Je t'aime." He simply told her before he tossed over in bed and shut his eyes.
Feeling the panic abate, she replied, "Ah love ya too." With one last glance at her slumbering amour, she left the room to give him some peace and quiet.
Sighing heavily when he heard the door slammed shut, his heart felt heavier as his mind kept repeating her words over and over again. She had said, 'not yet'. It was the reality check that he had so rudely awakened to. He could physically hurt her now, and whether or not it was intentional, he knew that he was harmful to her. The longer he stayed with her, the bigger the risk it was for her.
Though she might refuse to leave him despite the high risk of him hurting her, he just didn't know whether or not he could live with the fact that with every waking moment he was with her, he could physically harm her. For the last thing he wanted was to hurt the one person who had changed his life for the eternal better.
-xoxo-
Wandering aimlessly around the mansion, she tried to gather her thoughts. Her heart felt heavy, her body felt tired and her mind was full of confused rhymes and reasons. It was as if time had turned back to three years ago, when she was that scared vulnerable teenager who had no idea what she was living for anymore.
Remy.
His name popped in her head, and she realized that she was living for him. Perhaps it was sick. Perhaps it was pathetic. Perhaps it was abnormal to be so consumed in someone else's life. Then again, love had no criteria to it. It simply was, and this was their love. The merging of two lives into one, and that was what scared her the most at the moment. It wasn't so much that they had melded their souls into one, but her fear was based on what would happen when he was ever to leave her.
She knew that he would never leave her willingly and that he would only do so, under the worse of circumstances, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something formidable was on the horizon and it was connected to his past. Not completely wanting to, but needing to know, she realized that she had to make him tell her later. She needed to know what the threat was and how to protect their relationship from it. She was confident that she would rather risk every last breath than to lose him.
Love had no reason to it. It was that simple.
"Oomph!" Someone said, the wind knocked out of him. Rogue caught her balance before she fell back. Apparently she had bumped into someone – Scott Summers to be exact.
"Hey, Rogue. You okay?" He asked her as he regained his composure quickly and was already steadying her by grabbing a hold of her arm.
"Yeah… ah'm sorry. Didn't see where ah was going." She apologized while trying to regain her composure.
"I noticed… it's alright though." Scott excused her while his hand was still gripping her arm. As if just realizing that he was holding her, she looked down at his hand and he immediately withdrew it.
Chuckling nervously, he changed the subject quickly by asking, "So, what are you doing walking around?"
"Ohh… ah was just thinking… it's nothing. Anyway, how are ya? Meant to ask ya about it after that dinner incident." Rogue queried sincerely.
"Yeah.. that. I'm alright." Scott shrugged and looked away from her.
"Well, if ya need anyone t'talk to… remember ah'm here." Rogue pointed out mainly out of pity.
"Thanks. Anyway, I was heading to the kitchen for some coffee, you up for some?" He offered.
"Actually, a cup of coffee sounds good right about now." She accepted.
"Great." Scott said, obviously pleased with her agreement. Leading the way to the kitchen, the two chatted amicably and though the topics didn't hold much substance, Scott couldn't be happier. He hadn't realized how much Rogue intrigued him and how interesting she was.
Pouring two mugs of coffee to the rims, he handed her one and they both took a seat at the kitchen table. The conversations had died down now, as she concentrated more on her cup of coffee than Scott. Glancing nervously at his own cup, he couldn't help but sneak a few looks at Rogue. He never realized how green her eyes were and how much depth it had.
"So…" She began.
"So." He finished.
The two erupted into laughter as the awkward silence disappeared. "Hmm… this is nice." He commented as the laughter died down.
Taking a sip of the hot steamy drink, she murmured softly, "Mmhmm…"
Hearing her satisfied moan as she sipped from her cup, he couldn't help but feel chills run up and down his spine. She's taken, she's with him, I love Jean, he tried to remind myself, not to much avail.
"So, what have you been doing these past two years?" He asked in an attempt to distract himself from gawking at Rogue, though she would never know it due to his sunglasses. Nevertheless, he really didn't want to encourage himself.
"Actually, just being happy, ya know? Remy and ah got a place in New York. Ah worked as a waitress at this quaint diner where ah've met some great people. And ah've just been happy." Rogue answered easily, while recalling the days when life seemed so perfect.
"So… if you two are so happy, why are you guys back here?" He inquired while his heart cracked slightly upon hearing how happy she was with Remy.
"Well… ah guess we just needed to… ah'd rather not talk about it. So, what happened with you and red?" Rogue changed the subject ever so not subtly.
"Jean? Oh… we broke up. There's really no story to it." He tried to dismiss the topic as casually as he could, however, it would prove to be harder than that.
"As ah recall, you were in love with that girl. People just don't break up when they're practically obsessed with the other person." Rogue said pointedly.
"I don't know… what does it matter now anyway? We've both moved on… really, it's nothing anymore." He attempted to dismiss the topic once more. This time he would prove to be successful though it wouldn't be because of his nonchalant attitude. Rather, it was because a certain redhead had just walked into the room.
"Ohh…sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…Rogue?" Jean asked as she blinked her eyes a few times, in order to make sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her.
"Hey Jean. What's up?" Rogue responded kindly and smiled at her once rival for Scott's affection. Though, now she held no hard feelings towards the redhead due to the fact that she was so in love with her own boyfriend.
"Actually, not much. When did you get here?" Jean inquired, still trying to recover from her initial shock upon seeing the gothic mutant - well at least she used to be gothic. Now, however, Rogue was looked almost like a completely different person. Her hair was long and tied back into a ponytail. Her face was still rather pale, yet she didn't wear that heavy make-up she used to before. Her eyes were livelier than Jean had ever remembered, and the girl was simply glowing. Glancing at Scott, Jean couldn't help but jump to the wrong conclusion.
"Well, Remy and ah got here this morning. Sorry, must have missed ya all day since we basically slept in the whole afternoon. It was a rather longer drive than expected." Rogue answered.
"Oh… I see. So, where's Remy anyway?" Jean queried, as she felt a bit stupid for thinking that Rogue's content countenance was because of Scott's presence. She had forgotten momentarily that Remy was still in the picture.
"Actually, he's sleeping. He's quite tired considering he drove all the way here…" Rogue lied and looked away from Jean's glance.
"Wow, must be tiring. I guess I'll catch him later." Jean said.
"Most likely. So we missed you at dinner? Where were ya?" Rogue queried.
"I was out to dinner with Warren." Jean explained while she headed towards the kitchen counter to pour herself a cup of coffee. Noticing that Scott flinched upon hearing Jean's elucidation, Rogue gave him a sympathetic smile before she got up.
"Sounds nice… anyway, ah'll catch ya both later. Gotta go check on my swamp rat." Rogue said, gave the two one last smile before she bolted out of the room. After all, she didn't want to be caught in the middle of any lover's spat that might occur between Scott and Jean.
Sitting down across from Scott, Jean studied him while he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Minutes after minutes of silence passed before Jean finally said, "She's back."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott asked quite defensively.
"Are you going to tell her?" She questioned further as she could feel the anger rise within her.
"About what?" He queried in return.
"Don't play dumb with me, Scott Summers. You know very well about what." She spat accusingly.
"Maybe I don't." He said ignorantly.
"You plan to tell her that the reason why we broke up was because of her…"
"It wasn't because of her! I love you, Jean. But, don't forget that you were the one who broke this up because you have some crazy notion that I have feelings for Rogue."
"Crazy notion? I went into your mind, Scott. I know what I saw. I don't doubt that you love me, but I'm not going to share your love with her. She's back… here's your chance to tell her. Here's your chance to get who you really want." She hissed resentfully.
Getting up angrily, he glared at his ex-girlfriend. "I don't have any feelings for Rogue and I never did. But right now, I'm wondering why I ever loved you in the first place." With those last words, the livid leader left the room leaving a rather disconsolate and remorseful telepath.
-xoxo-
Entering their room, she found Remy was lying on his back, with his eyes wide opened and staring straight up at the ceiling. Without a word exchanged, she walked towards him and nestled next to him. He placed a protective arm around her waist, but still was completely entranced by the dull white ceiling.
Eventually, she asked what she should have since the night before where he had lost absolute control of his powers. "Sugah, tell me the truth. It's time ah know."
Releasing his arm from around her waist, he sat up and placed his head in his hands. A light sigh escaped her cherry pout, but she too, sat up and encircled his torso from behind while resting her head on his back. "Just tell me." She requested softly.
"Don't hate me." He said blatantly.
Shocked by his candid comment, she hugged him even closer as she said confidently, "Ah could never hate ya."
"Rogue… y' don't understand. I've done some stupid t'ings in life dat I'm not even sure how I'm supposed t'forgive myself." He continued as he felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. The recollections were raw and painful, and though he had tried so hard to suppress them, he knew that the past could never be fully buried. At least, not a past like his.
Untwining her arms, she scurried next to him. Gently taking his head into her own hands, she turned his face towards her and said, "Hey. There's nothing that could ever make me stop lovin' ya."
"I've done some really stupid things… just don't say dat before y' hear what I did." He said as he could still hear the agonizing screams of his victims.
"Remy, just tell me." She requested softly.
"I stole from people, chere. I stole a lot." He began his explanation.
"Is that it? Remy… you're a thief…"
"I stole lives, chere. I took from them their lives." He cut her off. Stunned by his admittance, she said unsurely, "Ya killed 'em?"
"Non… non, I didn't kill 'em. But sometimes, I t'ink it's better dat I did. When I was kicked out of N'awlins, my powers manifested and dis doctor… he helped me wit' it. But, I had t'do something in return. I had t' steal for him. DNA samples of whoever he wanted…" He continued his explanation and looked away from her for he couldn't bear to gaze into her disappointed eyes.
"Well… what did this doctor need wit' the DNA samples?" Rogue inquired, while she secretly half-wished that she had never asked to know the truth at all.
"He created clones… well, not exactly clones because he did a lot of experiments… he altered dese creations t'de point dat de pain for 'em should have never occurred. Den dere were dose dat didn't survive, de screams, de cries… dey didn't understand it all. Dey shouldn't have existed… I helped play God, chere. I help create people only t'hurt 'em… to torture 'em." He revealed to her and stood up. This time, Rogue didn't follow suit as she slowly processed what he had just told her. He had willingly hurt people and it wasn't a matter of him standing by and doing nothing, but he was responsible for it. He was responsible for stealing other people's genes only to generate clones so they could be inhumanely experimented on.
"Just tell me… did ya stop when ya could've?" She asked, trying to comprehend the desperation he must have been at the time of these events.
"I did. As soon as my powers were under control… I found refuge with Magneto. But, it doesn't make what I did forgivable... ain't not'ing gonna redeem me from dis one, chere." He replied disheartened. Expecting her to lash out at him, to call him a monster, to tell him she hated him for such a despicable act, his expectations would fall short. Instead, he felt a pair of hands creep up from behind him as he felt her warm body pressed against his back.
"Ah love ya." She whispered, not quite knowing what else needed to be said.
He unhooked her hands and turned around. "How can y' love me after dis? How can y' stand looking me when I did not'ing but inflict de most agonizing pain on people?" He questioned, not quite believing that she still loved him and half hoping that she would say she hated him because at least that meant he would have gotten what he deserved.
"Despite what ya did, ah'm not here t' judge ya. Ah'm only here to love ya. That's it. And no matter what, ah'll always stand by ya. As long as this love exists, that's all that matters. Ah'm not here to forgive ya, sugah… that's your own responsibility." She explained as she could feel tears forming at the corner of her eyes due to his tormented countenance. His shifted away from hers as he took in a deep breath. He wasn't quite sure what to do; what to say; how to feel, but it would seem that she knew exactly what he needed. Embracing him, she said, "Ah love ya. There ain't any boundaries to it. It's unconditional. Ya undestand me, Remy?"
Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he whispered, "Oui. Je t'aime aussi, ma cherie."