This should have gone on Chapter 1 – sorry!

Disclaimer: It's very simple. If you can find it (the character, place, thing, or idea in question) in a book with J.K. Rowling's name on the cover, it's hers. If not, it's mine. Thank you very much.

Chapter 2: Detours

Sirius found himself rather enjoying his state of semi-ghostliness. I've always wondered what it would be like to walk through walls. And I don't seem to get tired at all.

But I certainly don't want to stay like this. So I have to find a certain rat and convince him to off himself. And not only that, but to off himself in the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry of Magic, one of the most heavily protected places in the wizarding world!

Then again, if it's so protected, how the hell did a bunch of Hogwarts students get in there completely unnoticed?

Maybe it won't be so hard after all.

He slowed down as his "Wormtail sense" flashed at him frantically. A large building loomed ahead of him – it flickered in and out of his sight, one second a ramshackle farmhouse with broken windows, the next a handsome castle-like construction.

A wizard manor. But whose?

He moved closer to get a scent and growled. Wormtail's here, all right. And Snivellus. And I smell a cousin... No, I smell two cousins. Cousin Bellatrix and Cousin Narcissa. Cousin Narcissa especially.

This must be the Malfoys' place.

A scream suddenly rang out, a familiar scream, and Sirius winced. Maybe it's not such a good idea to go visiting Peter right now. I'll come back when he's not being tortured.

Who should I check on, then?

The question answered itself. Harry. What must he be going through right now?

Sirius thought about his black-haired godson, and a new arrow formed in his mind. He followed it at a run.

-----

Harry Potter was pacing around his empty dormitory, trying not to stop, trying not to think. Thinking would mean facing facts. Sirius was gone. Gone forever.

He hated Bellatrix Lestrange, he decided. "I hate her," he said to the empty air. "I hate Bellatrix Lestrange. I want her dead. No, I want to hurt her. I want to hurt her like I tried to hurt her, with the Cruciatus Curse..."

You used the Cruciatus Curse?!

"Yes, of course I did. Where were you?" Harry demanded of the voice in his head. Then he realized what he was doing. "Great. Now I'm going insane."

Pretend I wasn't there. Tell me what happened.

"No. I don't want to."

Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

"All right, fine."

-----

Sirius had forgotten, when the clerk on the other side of the arch had told him that people with strong magic would be able to sense his presence, just how strong Harry's magic was. Harry could hear him in some way, it seemed, since his spontaneous and horrified "You used the Cruciatus Curse?!" had been promptly and appropriately answered.

And then, of course, he wanted to know what had gone on after he had... died. Say it, Sirius, you died. It was a very odd thought.

Well, now he knew. "So thinking of me saved you?" he asked. "Harry, I'm touched."

"I couldn't just plain hallucinate," Harry said grumpily, sitting down on his bed. "No, I couldn't think up any old person to talk in my head. Had to be Sirius. I wish he was here."

"I am here, Harry," Sirius said emphatically. "I know you can't see me, but I hope I'm helping somehow."

Harry sighed. "I guess this is what they call denial. I can't fathom Sirius being dead, so I conjure up his voice inside my head." He smiled without any real happiness behind it. "I wonder if he'll say what I always wanted him to."

"I love you, Harry. I don't think I ever told you that in so many words. I wish I could give you a hug, but it might be a problem at the moment."

"I just wish it wasn't my fault he's dead!" Harry exploded.

"It is NOT!" Sirius jumped to his feet. "Harry, don't you let anyone tell you that. It was not your fault. You cannot let yourself believe that."

"It is true, though," Harry said quietly. "If I hadn't gone to the Department of Mysteries, Sirius would never have gone there – and I went because I thought he was there..."

"I'm sorry?"

Voldemort's false vision was duly explained. By the end of it, Sirius was angrier than ever. He had never known Voldemort personally, so there were only two possible sources for Voldemort to get mental pictures of him good enough to fool Harry.

Either Wormtail, or Snivellus.

"Harry, listen, you need to sleep. You had a hard night. I'll stay with you until you go to sleep, all right?"

Harry yawned. "Yeah, I think I'd like that... listen to me. I'm talking to a hallucination." He took his glasses off and set them on the nightstand.

"Hey, whatever waves your wand."

Harry smiled sleepily. "That's a good one. I like that. 'Whatever waves your wand.' Bet Snape wouldn't like it..." His eyes closed.

Sirius Black, semi-ghost, sat on his godson's bed and watched him sleep. I can't believe I never did this in life.

You never got a chance, said one part of his mind.

I have to start making chances, retorted another part. And I will.

As soon as I get back.

"Harry, don't give up on me yet," he said quietly. "And even if I don't make it back, never forget this. I love you more than anything. You are my reason for living." He laughed. "And don't I sound sappy. It's a good thing you're asleep and I'm dead. I would never have said any of this otherwise."

Harry smiled in his sleep.

"And before I forget, your parents send their love." Sirius ran his hand along Harry's forehead, although he couldn't actually touch the boy. "Sleep well. I'll be back when I can."

Why don't I have a look-in on Moony before I tackle Wormtail again? Just to see how he's taking this.

He snorted. Ten gets you one he's drunk out of his mind.

He transformed into dog shape, pictured his best living friend, and took off running through the wall of Gryffindor Tower.

-----

Sirius would have won the bet with himself had he actually set it up. Remus Lupin was indeed drunk out of his mind. Or at least well on the way.

"Everyone dies," he said wearily, pacing his living room floor. "Everyone dies or runs away. At least it feels like it. God, I have to stop talking to myself."

So talk to me.

Remus whipped around. There was no one there. Or... he squinted. Wasn't there a vague radiance in the corner by the window?

"Is someone there?" he asked a bit thickly. He recalled whom his first instinct had said the voice belonged to. "Padfoot, if that's you, I'm going to kill you. Oh, that's right. Too late." He laughed bitterly and poured himself another drink.

You really ought to lay off that stuff. It's not good for you.

"As if I care," Remus said, and lifted the glass. "Cheers." He drank the entire thing at once and gasped for air. "Whoo. Nice, potent stuff, that. Whatever it is. I can't see well enough to read the label anymore."

Maybe you should go lie down, Moony. You never did have much tolerance for alcohol.

"You should talk. Who got snagged by McGonagall for drunk and disorderly in the hallway on nothing more than butterbeer?"

I've always suspected James doctored that butterbeer.

"Of course, you never knew I put a shot or two of firewhiskey in yours."

Why, you smug, rule-following, prune-faced...

Remus grinned as he made his unsteady way toward the bedroom. "I guess thirteen years in Azkaban will teach you to curse well if nothing else." He tripped over something but regained his balance by grabbing the edge of the doorframe. "Must be drunker'n I think I am if I'm talking to you, Padfoot. You're dead. Not even Marauders get out of that."

He fell onto the bed backwards, still talking. "You got out of the McGonagall thing by pleading extenuating circumstances, I think." He kicked off his shoes and pulled his feet up on the bed. "And she let you off even though you were so drunk you couldn't say 'extenuating' right..."

Sleep sneaked up on him and ambushed him before he could finish the sentence.

-----

"Taking it kind of hard, aren't you?" Sirius said to his unconscious friend. "Not that I don't appreciate it, of course, but still. You are not going to be a happy werewolf tomorrow."

"You thought I slipped you firewhiskey?" said a voice behind him.

Sirius yelped and whirled around. "What are you doing here?" he demanded of James Potter.

"Management sent us," said Lily, smiling mischievously. She and James both looked like living people, except that they seemed... brighter was the only term Sirius could come up with. "They realized you didn't know quite everything you needed to."

Sirius groaned. "Please don't tell me there's bureaucracy in the afterlife."

"No, just occasional slip-ups," James said. "The clerk who briefed you was working from the only case she had, which was quite a long time ago. A young man was executed by a corrupt government by being thrown through the archway. His best friend, whose life he had saved long ago, sacrificed himself, since the dead man had a family and the friend had none."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't get it. Where's the problem?"

"Well, considering your history with Wormtail..." James shrugged. "Somebody in charge figured friendship wasn't going to cut it here. They decided you needed some facts to argue with. Facts about what it's like over there."

Well, this goes on the list of things I never thought I'd be doing. Along with most of the rest of today. "All right, ready whenever you are."

"You want to start, love?" James asked Lily. "You're probably better at this."

Lily nodded. "The first thing you have to understand," she said to Sirius, "is the essence of the other world. What it's based on, what really matters. It's truth. Everything is about who and what we truly are."

"That means that everyone knows the truth, about everything," James said. "If I want to know the truth about what someone did or said, I just have to look at them, and I know." He sighed. "Makes pranking difficult, I can tell you that."

"Only you would see it like that," Lily said, giving her husband an affectionate shove. "Physical contact is different, too. Watch. If I try to hit James, to hurt him –" Her hand passed through James' face, and Sirius shivered. "I simply can't touch him at all. Hostile magic doesn't work either."

"People judge you, and whether or not they want to get to know you, by who you really are and what you really deserve," James said. "Peter's in for a lonely time of it when he comes through, if he keeps on as he is."

"The really sad ones are the ones like Voldemort," said Lily. "The ones who hated everyone and never did a good thing in their lives. No one wants to be around them, and because they want to hurt so much, they end up not being able to touch anyone. So they go around like ghosts, without any kind of hope, without... anything, really." She shook her head. "It's even sadder because if you're interested and friendly, there's just so much to do and see."

"Dumbledore told Harry something once," James recalled. "In his first year. Something like 'Death is just the next great adventure.' As usual, he's right."

"Have you ever known Dumbledore to be wrong?" Sirius asked wryly. "This is very interesting, but I'm afraid I don't see what it has to do with me and Peter."

"One thing everyone appreciates over there is self-sacrifice for another's good," Lily said. "One self-sacrificial act can really go a long way towards redeeming a person."

"So this is Peter's big chance," James said. "If he dies to bring you back, he gets credit for that – if he spills what he knows about Voldemort before he goes, he gets some credit for that, too. Help to counteract murder and accessory to murder and all that nasty stuff."

"That... makes a lot of sense," Sirius said slowly. "I only hope Wormtail thinks so."

"I think he will," Lily said. "He's sure to have been thinking about death a great deal recently."

"Oh, one other thing, mate," James said. "One last message for Harry. Could you tell him that Snape may not remember it, but I apologized to him for that whole pantsing deal? Harry was about a year old at the time, and Snape and I happened to be alone together for a minute, and I remembered what an idiot I'd been that day – and a lot of other days, too – and I said I was sorry. Snape even accepted it. Very cold about it, but what do you expect. Pass that on for me?"

"You bet, Prongs. See you on the other side."

"I was supposed to say that," James said, looking a trifle miffed. "And by the way, if I had had firewhiskey, I would have offered it to you straight up."

Lily laughed. "You two. Always bickering. Good-bye, Sirius. Give Remus our love."

"I will," Sirius promised. "Bye."

Lily took James' arm, and with one last wave, the pair vanished.

"Whaa?" said Remus groggily from the bed. "Prongs, is that you? Lily?"

"No, they just left, Moony. But they said to give you their love."

"Oh. Thanks." Remus rolled over on his side.

Sirius chuckled. His dreams will probably be pretty strange. But he can take care of himself.

Now it IS time to find a certain rat. Find him, and save his soul, by persuading him to commit suicide.

This is far and away the strangest day I have ever had!

-----

(A/N: Yay reviewers!

MAndrews: Here you are. Thanks for worrying!

Caprice-Ann HedicanKocur: I think you win my "most enthusiastic fan" award. I love you. ::hug::

emikae: Hey, stuff happens. Thanks, maybe I will. This is definitely a "write-as-I-go" type of story – I have my destination in mind, but I'm driving some unusual roads to get there. As for how much is done, you're looking at it. Maybe when I finish Home I'll stick this on its update time. Until then, updates will remain "whenever I can".

Thanks for reading my weird fantasies! I heart you all!)