Numb
They say when you kill as much as I have, you become numb, and it's true.
I walk around daily, frozen to life. Living the lie that I am a normal person. Normal? I laugh at that sound of that word, for that is one utterance, which cannot explain me.
I feel nothing, neither hot nor cold, dead or alive, I am nothing, nothing but a breathing mass.
Hope, you say? There is none, for I have stolen it. Silence is now the cloak I wear, it's all I have left to cover up my shame. The war is over and yet I still feel like I have to fight.
My companions, as I may call them, are expressionless. Their poorly painted façades melt away when we are together. Their spirits, wounded and broken, have given up all hope. They feel nothing, save the pain that comes when memories unleash. I see in their eyes what none other can, their innocence stolen, their childhood robbed, eyes that have shed many a tear for a cause that they, we, all believed in.
Forever we will remain frozen to life, living in the bitterness of the memories that haunt and chill. Our faces will stay masked, as long as our alibis hold, none will see what we conceal behind our clouded eyes.
The blood of the innocent will forever be on our hands and the screams of the thousands murdered will ring in our ears. Our hearts will continue to become as hard as stone, making it impossible to chisel us back to the humans we once were.
It's over now, but the fighting will not cease, nor do I think it ever will. For each of us the battle will wage on, disguised as our own personal demons.
Tears turn to ice when they come from the heart,
Frozen inside without love
Forever we will remain numb....