Nightmare's Beginning

by Kerwin

Completed! Will be continued in Part 2 Nightmare's End AU after Cell Games, Chi Chi dies horrifically, Gohan and Goten are separated. Gohan is raised in an abusive home until he contracts Leukemia. Contains explicit rape and abuse scenes R&R!

2. 11 to 17 Companions

Chapter 11: Rest and Relaxation

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I'm learning to breath
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Switchfoot-Learning to Breathe

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Gohan woke feeling warm and safe. He was ensconced in his down comforter that clashed horribly with the decor of his room. Done up in soft browns and golden hues, it reminded him forcefully of his lost mountain home. He tossed aside his covers and swung his feet to the plush, russet carpet below. The very texture of the carpet kept memories of Hadrian at bay though the carpet color was almost the same. He stood and pulled on a pair of blue jeans that'd been lying on the floor.

x

His bed was a large, four poster, with rock camouflage draping. There were two leather recliners of a dark golden shade that Gohan could attest the comfort of. A desk, dresser, and shelf of darkly stained walnut wood occupied various positions in the room. On the walls hung beautiful landscapes of rocky mountains, majestic canyons, and imposing forests. Gohan liked the room for its earthy feel, and didn't care if the picture he hung looked like an eye sore.

"It adds character." Videl replied when he'd communicated as much to her by his grimace after she'd helped him hang it. Gohan was inclined to agree.

xxXXxx

As Gohan stood before the mirror in his private bathroom, he noticed his previously red-rimmed eyes had toned down to a mere pink, irritated color during the night. His skin still looked transparent and the hollows in his cheeks were an ever present reminder of his past starvation. However, his eyes were no longer dull as if he was looking right through things. There was still the haunted impression and the aged beyond years appearance within his eyes, and even a new added grief. But, they weren't so lifeless as before.

x

Gohan opened his medicine cabinet and took out his various medications. He started unscrewing the caps methodically with his left hand while holding them in his right. He allowed his mind to wander around his skull idly. He did not think on any one thing and the subjects his thoughts touched on were given no more then a passing consideration. Then, one thought made him start violently and he dropped the jar of pills to the floor where the small tablets scattered ubiquitously. 'Everyone I get close to dies; what about Videl?' Gohan shook his head in denial. Staring blankly at the small blue pills, it took a moment for Gohan to figure them for his ki suppressants. Gohan bent down to retrieve one and studied it closely. 'Who's to say that my powers can't be mastered again? If anyone should know, it's me, and I'm willing to try.' Gohan ruminated seriously.

x

"Hey, Ru?" Videl's voice called out cheerfully from within his room. The door opened admitting the uncouth teenage girl.

"What happened in..." Videl started and stopped catching sight of Gohan's heavily scarred bare chest. She averted her gaze as an awkward silence permeated the room. Gohan scrutinized her calmly; she seemed to decide on something because she nodded almost indistinctly. When she raised her eyes to Gohan's, once again her smile was in place, and it was genuine as far as Gohan could discern.

"I just wanted to see how you slept and take you to breakfast." Videl explained energetically, "You're likely to get lost in this house!" Videl added humorously.

x

Gohan began to wonder vaguely if he looked as ridiculous as he felt standing there in sagging, unzipped, jeans with his boxers visible, with a hairdo rivaling a bird's nest, and holding a small blue pill between thumb and finger. The same thoughts seemed to have occurred to Videl because she began laughing, full and throaty, at the sight of him. Gohan mock-glared and peels of mirth ushered forth from her lips even as she struggled to stifle them. To Gohan's immense vexation his own lips twitched upward and this only spurred Videl into hysteric gales of hilarity. Giving a loud suffering sigh, Gohan rolled his eyes, shoved Videl gently out the door, and closed the door in her face. The solid door proved a weak sound barrier as Gohan could hear Videl's guffawing even so.

Gohan turned to the mirror and caught sight of his carefree expression; he was smiling indulgently and his eyes had lost some of their inner shadows. 'Why do I feel so free with her? How can it seem like I've known her all my life?' The questions assaulted him until he was serious, and contemplating the pill in his hand once again. 'Enough hiding.' he decided resolutely, and breaking the pill into two pieces, swallowed half of the pill.

xxXXxx

Gohan followed Videl into the oversized dinning room. The table, a thick beech wood, was long enough to seat thirty people. At one end sat three settings; one was already occupied by a fair-haired woman. Gohan heard Videl scoff and watched her face become as hard as granite. As they both slid into their seats across from each other, the woman at the head of the table looked up from perusing a magazine. She tossed back her artificial blond hair and pierced them with silver-blue eyes that resembled two cubes of ice. She smiled indulgently at them, and Gohan felt his body go rigid.

"Good morning, you must be Videl." the woman said in a husky, smooth voice.

"Yeah, but I don't know who you are." Videl replied coldly and glared.

"Terrance Devon, you can call me Tracy, I've been with your father for about a month." the woman articulated, proffering her hand.

"Sorry, but I'm about to eat breakfast." Videl sneered looking distastefully at Tracy's well-manicured hand, "Ms. Devon," she finished just to add insult to injury.

x

Ms. Devon's smile turned sour and her nose scrunched up as if she smelled something repugnant. Videl deliberately ignored her and served both herself and Gohan to some eggs, sausages, hash browns, and toast. Ms. Devon finished her breakfast in good time and stood to leave.

"Well, it was a...an interesting experience meeting you, Videl." Ms. Devon announced around an obviously forced smile.

"Sorry, I can't say the same for you." Videl stated bluntly. With a slight huff, Ms. Devon left the room. Gohan watched Tracy leave, if truth be told, he could see what Hercule saw in Tracy and, he concluded in the same line of thought, 'it definitely wasn't her brain.' Beside him, Videl huffed loudly.

"Damn whoring bitch!" she muttered darkly. Gohan's eyebrows became lost in his fringe of bangs at Videl's colorful use of swear words.

"Sorry, Ru, I can't stand those dumb broads my father brings home." Videl sighed glowering at the doorway through which Tracy left and pushing some eggs around her plate idly. Gohan shrugged to show his inability to express any thoughts on the subject. He gestured to a picture of her father on the wall behind the head of the table and gave Videl a quizzical look.

"Where is he?" Videl clarified for him and Gohan nodded. "Oh, he's probably still asleep or at a photo shoot." Videl supplied irreverently.

x

Videl ducked her head and scooped some shredded potato into her mouth. Gohan studied her hunched posture and realized she was unhappy. Feeling extremely inept he reached over and covered her hand with his own in an attempt to impart some pitiful comfort. Videl raised her head and Gohan caught sight of the glistening look of unshed tears in her eyes. She gave a watery smile and then let out a giggle.

"You know, every time she smiled I felt like humming the Jaws theme song." she enlightened him, chuckling. Gohan smiled as his mind supplied its own image of Tracy smiling and they both finished eating.

xxXXxx

Gohan looked around feeling quite stupid. 'I shouldn't have left my room, now I know Videl wasn't lying about getting lost in here.' About an hour ago, Gohan took it into his head to explore his new home. And now, after fifty rooms that all blended together in his memory he was searching for a way out. Every hallway looked like another hallway and Gohan was desperately searching for a staircase. 'If I can get downstairs I can at least get back to the living room or dinning room, somewhere familiar.' Gohan turned another corner and lucked out when he spotted the gap in the wall that entailed a staircase. He quickened his pace and descended to the second, and then the first floor.

x

Gohan looked around wildly and felt like ripping out his hair in pure frustration. He didn't recognize anything in front of him. 'What the hell? This mansion doesn't look half so big on the outside!' Gohan reached in his pocket and pulled out some change, selecting a fraction zenni piece, he returned the rest to his pocket. Choosing heads and tails for the forking hallway he flipped the coin, and headed down the one to his right. 'Maybe I'll run into a maid or someone, even a security guard would be welcome!' Just as the thought entered his head, Gohan picked up on someone breathing heavily. Taking a leap of faith that the person would stay put, he followed the sounds and was stunned by what he found.

xxXXxx

Gohan stopped in the doorway and watched with fascination as Videl practiced punching and kicking a bag made for just that purpose. Her form was not as smooth as his when he'd been younger, but she wasn't bad. 'Not bad at all, for a human.' Gohan thought mildly impressed. Videl kicked high with great strength and the bag broke on impact. Gohan winced as he saw the turn of her foot; Videl let out such a vile explicative that Gohan felt his face grow warm with a blush.

x

Gohan hurried forward to catch Videl who was hopping around cursing in a constant flowing stream. He took Videl's arm but this only caused Videl to become overbalanced when she shoved him away thinking him an attacker, no doubt. With a strangled scream she toppled over onto her arse. Gohan smirked at her ridiculous state and, shaking his head, offered her his hand.

x

"Ru! You scared me!" Videl accused as she accepted his hand.

"Stop laughing you fool." Videl ordered and slapped him playfully as she tried to muster a fierce glare and only managed a twisted grimace. Gohan noticed her tenderly testing the extent of the damage to her foot. He grabbed her by the shoulders and, taking her by surprise, forced her to sit down again. Then he removed her shoe and expertly felt her ankle for any damage. Meeting her gaze, he gave her a reassuring smile. Gohan stood and offered her his hand once again. When Videl was once again on her feet, Gohan lead her around the gym in circles to walk out the pain. Videl peered up at Gohan with a perplexed expression.

x

After walking around for about twenty minutes, Gohan noticed Videl was walking normally and not favoring her foot anymore. He led her to another bag, this one intact, and motioned her to take her stance. Videl did so in an obliging manner. Gohan mimicked her kicking the bag and motioned for her to do so again. Shaking her head in a humoring gesture, Videl did so, but before her foot could make contact Gohan reached out and stopped it. Gohan proceeded to point out the way Videl's foot was twisted slightly at an angle that, if the right pressures were exerted, could cause her considerable damage. Next, Gohan physically moved her foot into a new position that would be both more energy sufficient and graceful. Through his silent ministrations Videl's eyes grew wide with astonishment, and then narrowed with attentiveness.

"You know martial arts." Videl confirmed out loud. Gohan bowed formally and smiled. Videl smiled in return and tried another kick but slowly so that Gohan could follow her movements. Gohan had to fix a few quirks for the first couple of kicks, but by the end of the hour Videl was going at the bag at top speed without hurting herself anymore.

"Thanks a lot, Ru. Why don't you practice with me, I do it everyday." Videl proposed offhandedly. Gohan scrutinized Videl calmly, 'This'll be the perfect opportunity for me to work up my stamina and powers again. I'll also be able to watch her, and make sure she doesn't hurt herself again.' Gohan ruffled his messy, long hair…and nodded.

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Chapter 12: Blood Bath

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You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the ugliness
That surrounds me

Are you an angel
Am I already that gone
I only hope that I won't disappoint you
When I'm down here on my knees

And sweet, Sweet surrender
Is all I have to give

Sarah McLachlan-Sweet Surrender

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Gohan and Videl sat on an overstuffed, squishy red sofa with a large bowl of popcorn between them. Their eyes were riveted on the action packed television screen. Videl munched indifferently as she followed the character's amazing stunts. Gohan, not as amazed by the hero's antics, looked around Videl's room with interest. Her bed was a bouncy contraption bedecked in scarlet red with a few black throw pillows. A large stereo system occupied the honored spot right next to her bedside lamp. Music videos, CDs, and cassette tapes spilled from the open door of the cabinet beneath the stereo system. Her closet door stood ajar affording a view of her new martial arts workout, how to thread one's way through an obstacle of clothing. 'Could be useful in a clothes shop.' Gohan thought with amusement.

x

A dresser littered with various knick-knacks and spare change stood beside the bed, opposite side of the stereo. The dresser was fashioned from the neoclassic era and had a beautifully ornamented mirror. The glassy surface was bordered with many pictures of friends and family tucked into the wooden framing. A dirty laundry hamper stood by the dresser conspicuously holding a total of two articles of clothing. A few pieces of clothing lay beside it, obvious failed attempts to toss the clothes in. A T-shirt hung robe style on one knobbed side of the dresser. A pair of jeans and unmistakably a bra, Gohan blushed, were crammed into a corner of the room. Mostly, the clothing lay were it was thrown like so much debris after an explosion.

x

The sofa they sat on was at the foot of the bed, and the television, a huge wall screen, took up the whole middle of the wall in front of them. Built-in shelves of DVDs, VHSs, and books flanked the sides of the screen. Gohan noticed quite a few of the items were martial arts oriented including her wall hangings. Along the walls, and even the ceiling, were posters of fighters, music bands, favorite actors/actresses, and not a single one of her father. 'She's obviously not one for domestic chores, and the servants must be forbidden entrance to her lair.' Gohan decided. Gohan turned his attention back to the movie which had ended and was now reeling through the credits.

"Hey, Ru, want to get some ice cream?" Videl asked hopping up to extricate the tape and shove it into the re-winder. Gohan shrugged and followed Videl out of the room toward the kitchen.

xxXXxx

They just sat down to enjoy their twin bowls of mint chocolate-chip ice cream when they heard the door open and close.

"I'm home!" a loud and obnoxious voice called out. Gohan watched as Videl swallowed, wiped her mouth, and lingered with her hands folded. They did not have long to wait; Hercule stalked into the kitchen moments later. He ignored the two teens while he raided the refrigerator, and approached the table with a turkey sandwich and a cold beer in hand.

"Hey, sugar beet! Who're you?" Hercule demanded of Gohan suspiciously.

"This is Ru, dad. He's the boy I told you about; the one who's going to stay with us a while." Videl explained through clenched teeth. Gohan acquired the impression that something wasn't being said that normally would have been had he not been present.

"Oh, right, the kid whose parents died...good publicity." Hercule exclaimed loudly while he smiled stupidly. Gohan felt the grief assault him like a blow to the gut and gasped.

"Dad!" Videl shouted in disbelief looking at Gohan's pained expression.

"What?" Hercule asked idiotically. Videl simply glared at her father and pointedly placed a comforting arm around Gohan's shoulder.

"Oh! Well, I'm going to bed now. The greatest champ in the world has to get his sleep!" Hercule announced flexing his muscles. Before Videl could prompt or protest his leaving Hercule was out of the door. Rolling her eyes, Videl kneeled beside Gohan to see his face.

"Are you ok?" Gohan looked up at Videl, feeling the familiar itch of tears in his eyes. He blinked furiously and nodded sharply.

"Oh, Ru! I'm sorry; he can be such an insensitive jerk sometimes." Videl confessed sincerely. Gohan took deep breaths to calm himself.

"On second thought, he's a real jerk all the time." Videl declared wrapping her arm more securely around Gohan's shoulder. Gohan felt himself relax in her consoling embrace. 'God, I trust her.' Gohan marveled inwardly.

ooo

Pitch black...a baby's cry...always crying...He was standing outside of himself watching as he stood in front of a door. He could hear the cry through the solid linden wood. He jiggled the handle futilely; it was locked. The cry became louder, only this time Gohan could discern his own name in the high-pitched child's voice. He could see his own mouth moving, presumably calling out reassurances to the petrified child, but no sound was forthcoming. It was as if he was watching a film on mute; the mouth moved but no sound came out. He began to beat on the door in a vain attempt to break it down. When he was unable to even put a dent in the resistant wood he threw his head back and screamed mutely in frustration. In a burst of iridescent golden light he metamorphosed into a super saiyan. Once again, the ineffectual struggle resumed. Punching, kicking, and blasting with all his mighty power against the impenetrable door. And then, he was no longer a spectator in his own drama dream.

x

Gohan found himself with his feet planted firmly in a fighting stance in front of the obdurate door. He could feel the invigorating power flowing through his veins, ready for him to manipulate it as he desired. He pulled back his hands until they formed a cup where he could assemble the needed power for a Kamehameha blast. All his focus turned to the thick entrance. He could see the wide grain of the lightly colored wood and the few round knots in its sanded surface. He could see the thin lines in the finish that were left from the brush strokes. He felt his energy coalesce into his palms.

x

Gohan prepared to release the powerful beam when suddenly a scream ricocheted through his mind. This was no child's frantic cry. As the scream died out, leaving behind an echo of agony, he heard the sound of a lock clicking open. Mysteriously of its own accord, the door cracked open a notch with a loud groan. Gohan lost the aura of super saiyan and tentatively stepped forward. Something in his mind screamed at him not to open that door. An inner voice informed him that he would not like what he saw. Ignoring both his subconscious and his instincts, he walked forward and pushed the door all the way open.

x

Blood dripped down from a lifeless corpse into the water below, and like the blood of the Egyptian slaves, it turned the water crimson. Snaking little tendrils crept ever closer to his feet. He staggered back and mouthed wordlessly. Black spidery locks of hair spread from the waxy faced, blue lipped carcass. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the dark ebony stare that accused him with their glassy lifelessness. He could hear the scream echoing within his inner ear, only this time it was articulating words.

"How could you do this to me, to your father? Look at me!" Gohan stared at the arm that hung outside the tub. A gaping wound stretched from the inner elbow down to the wrist allowing full view of fleshy sinews and punctured veins. He even glimpsed a pale ashen item that could only be her radius or ulna¹. Accumulative blood still dripped from the scarlet painted appendage down to the wet floor and onto the released razor.

x

His mind so focused on escaping the scene, he backed up and tripped over a garment. Trying to stop himself from falling, he instead pitched himself forward into the blood bath next to the lifeless body. He did not comprehend the scream he heard as coming from his own throat, but rather imagined it to be the dead woman's righteous anger at him for desecrating her final resting place. He ingested mouthfuls of bloody water as he struggled frantically, completely hysterical, and being driven mad by the reverberating screams he failed to realize came from himself.

ooo

Gohan jerked awake drenched in sweat and desperately fighting his entangled blankets his dream fogged mind had interpreted as limbs of a dead body. He felt his stomach clench and recklessly tried to run from his bed. He knocked his right cheek into his bedside table and crashed to the floor with a thunderous clunk. Whimpering in his mind he ripped the ensnaring sheets away from his body and, clutching his stinging cheek, raced for the bathroom. He reached the toilet just in time as he swiftly lost the contents of his stomach.

x

He was left dry heaving long after all the regurgitated food was flushed from sight. His whole body shook with reaction from the dream. He hunched over the porcelain bowl with both arms resting on the seat and his feverish head resting on his arms. He closed his eyes tightly and tears slid down his cheeks until gravity pulled them into the clear water below his face. He opened his eyes blearily when he heard the sound of someone approaching him. He was too weary to see who it was and so remained in his incapacitated state. He felt a cool hand rest on his back and begin to rub in soothing circles. He did not need to know who it was; the only person who could calm his quaking so naturally was Videl.

x

"I'm here Ru." she whispered peacefully and gently eased him away from the toilet until she was leaning against the wall and holding his torso to her chest in a close embrace. Gohan permitted himself to relax his head against Videl's shoulder as her hands circled in front of him around his neck and across his chest.

"You've cut yourself." Videl observed, barely stroking the laceration in his right cheek that still oozed blood, albeit slowly. Videl shifted enough so that she could grab a damp washcloth from the side of the tub. Gohan steadfastly avoided looking at the tub and flinched, only a little, when Videl applied the cloth to his throbbing cheek. Wiping the blood gently away, Videl studied Gohan's haunted eyes and felt his subsiding shudders against her own body.

"If you ever need me, I'm here; even if you just want me to hold you, Ru." Videl murmured tenderly.

x

"Gohan." the sound escaped his lips without thought; he didn't need to think about what was right, what was natural. His voice was deep, horse, and cracked horribly on the second syllable. Videl's eyes grew wide and her grip around his body intensified until it was almost painful. Gohan could see the shimmer of tears before they began to fall unerringly from her eyes.

"What...W-What did y-you say?" Videl stared straight ahead of her, but Gohan had serious doubts that she was seeing the tiled wall of the bathroom; she had a distant look on her face.

"My," he cleared his throat audibly, "My name is Gohan."

x

¹radius or ulna- the two bones that make up the arm below the elbow

---

Chapter 13: Heart to Heart

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Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles, all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

Sarah McLachlan-Push

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"Here." Videl proffered holding out a blue ceramic mug that was steaming. Gohan accepted the hot drink and cupped his cold hands around the warm implement. He sipped cautiously without blowing on the nut brown liquid. The taste of cinnamon tea scorched its way down his raw throat. Gohan's eyes watered and he coughed slightly, but he repeated the ritual a second time. He sat in one of the golden recliners draped in his down comforter. Videl sat across from him looking concerned and holding her own cup of spiced tea. She blew on it and slowly tipped the cup to her lips in lazy intervals.

"Do you want to tell me about it? You don't have to if you don't want." Videl whispered without meeting Gohan's eyes. Gohan did not know what he would have replied had she looked him in the eyes. He wasn't sure he could face such blatant affection from anyone at the moment. However, without the contact he felt compelled to tell her...to tell her everything.

x

"I was eleven...when my father...died." Gohan started gruffly in a hesitant manner. He stared down into his cup, watching the ripples created when his hand trembled slightly. It was fascinating, really, that even thinking about it could produce such a strong reaction in him. After all, he'd been through a lot worse in the past years that this experience paled in comparison. And yet, he still could not contain the tremor in his hands. He shuddered suddenly when Videl placed a hand over his own that gripped his mug feebly. Amber liquid sloshed against the sides and almost above the rim. Inhaling deeply he braced himself for the next truth.

"A year later, my mother...my mother..." Gohan looked heavenward and felt the tears coarse unevenly down his cheeks. He desperately sought some form of strength he could use to come right out and say it. Videl squeezed his hand encouragingly. "She committed suicide." he croaked looking anywhere but at Videl.

x

"Shhh, it's ok, I'm right here." Videl promised as she clutched his hand, rubbing the back of his knuckles soothingly with her thumb.

"But, it's m-my...fault." Gohan cried out gutturally.

"How could it be your fault?" Videl asked reasonably.

"I...I let my f-father d-die." Gohan whispered hoarsely and gulped his tea compulsively. This wasn't such a good idea as he tried to inhale and swallow at the same time. A coughing fit ensued which had Gohan spilling tea all over his shirt as he stood up in an attempt to gain air. Videl intelligently removed the quarter filled cup from his hand before he could leak the rest onto the carpet. Setting the mug on the dresser table, she returned to Gohan's side to thump his back helpfully. When Gohan managed to get his wind back Videl led him back to his chair.

"Gohan, I'm not sure what happened exactly. But, I'm positive you could do nothing to prevent your father from dying." Videl stated firmly. Gohan placed his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair.

"Yes, I could have...I could have saved him." Gohan's voice was harsh though the anger was directed inward upon himself. "It's because I killed him that she killed herself." Gohan continued brokenly.

"Your mother?"

"I heard my brother crying inside...he was only a baby then." Gohan's breath escaped him noisily and a slight smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. He looked quite pitiful there, face tear-streaked and a sad smile tugging at his lips. "God, he was so little...he'd be around six now." Gohan sniffed and then sat straighter in the cushions while wiping at his cheeks with his bare arm. "Anyway, I went in the house...to see what was wrong...found him lying on the floor." Gohan's eyes stared off into the distant past.

"I was so, so angry that she'd neglected him...again. I went to look for her." Videl could see the haunted look come to the forefront of his eyes and the fear, the pain.

x

"What happened, Gohan, where'd you find your mother?" Videl was careful to sound firm but supportive at the same time.

"She was in the bathroom...she'd slit her wrists." One of Gohan's hands began to rub his own forearm absently, up and down. His voice was scratchy but not as hoarse as when he'd begun. It would forever be deep and a bit gruff after such a long period of self induced mutism.

"Oh, Gohan, that can't be your fault!" Videl maintained rationally.

"You know what's funny about it all?" Gohan questioned with a derisive snort. "I was so shocked that I was struck dumb...They said a lost traveler came to the house thinking to ask for directions...He found my mother, I was holding my brother; I wouldn't let go of him...He called the cops. I was so stunned that I didn't say anything; I let them take my brother away from me." Gohan laughed but there was no humor in it, in fact, tears leaked from his pain filled eyes.

"What was so hilarious about that?"

"Don't you see? I let them take my brother and I didn't tell them my name...There was no way for them to identify me if someone came looking for me." Gohan was laughing and sobbing at the same time now, quite beyond the point of hysterical. Videl instinctively moved forward and wrapped her arms around Gohan's shoulders, stopping him from compulsively rubbing his forearm. She began to rock him slowly and stroke his hair soothingly. Gohan rested his head on her bosom and cried as memories of orphan life battered him.

xxXXxx

Gohan opened bleary eyes and wondered vaguely why he wasn't in his bed. Turning his head slightly he found himself face to face with Videl. She sat on the arm of the recliner with one arm thrown over the high back and her head utilizing her arm as a pillow. The other arm was draped across Gohan's shoulder and chest. Gohan was surprised he didn't notice the weight of her legs which were curled atop his thighs. Memories of the previous evening flooded his mind and he dimly recalled her rocking him as he sobbed on her. 'I must've fallen asleep.' he deduced logically. Gohan tried to remain still least he disturb the sleeping beauty. His efforts seemed counterproductive as Videl stirred sleepily, stretched, and in the process knocked Gohan in the face. At Gohan's muffled oath Videl came awake all at once.

"Gohan! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that! Are you ok?" She shoved Gohan's hands away from his face so she could get a better look at it. The cut on his cheek had reopened and a fresh trickle of blood was making it's way down to his chin.

"I's alright, nothin' t' worry abou'." Gohan muttered, still groggy from sleep. Videl apparently thought differently as she dragged Gohan to his bathroom to clean the cut properly.

x

"You should probably go to the hospital and get this stitched." Videl murmured as she applied disinfectant onto the open wound. Gohan shrugged indifferently and winced at the twinge of pain. "If you don't it'll scar." Videl cautioned as she attached a large band aid to his cheek. Gohan made no answer to this and only rose from his seated position on the counter. He walked into his bedroom and removed a shirt from his dresser drawer. He pulled it on, mindful of his bandaged cheek. He was just headed to the door when Videl stopped him.

"Where're you going?"

"The gym." Gohan replied simply and left. Videl caught up in moments and they both headed to the same room as yesterday. "Good, I'd probably get lost if you hadn't come." Gohan commented drolly with a smirk. Videl gave a throaty laugh in reply and threw an arm over Gohan's shoulder in camaraderie.

xxXXxx

Gohan sat on the floor with his focus turned inward. He could sense Videl outside of himself as she attacked the punching bag. He could feel his power; it was only a small trickle of little consequence, but enough to begin practicing meditation. If he could master his ki progressively as he gained more awareness of it, perhaps he could bypass whatever made him trip before. 'I don't want the power of super saiyan. I want beyond that.' Gohan thought determinedly. He began to blank his mind of all thoughts save his diminutive power. Experimentally he began to move it to various parts of his body, collecting it into one point.

x

It wasn't enough to shoot an energy blast by any means, but that wasn't the purpose of the exercise. He had plenty of time to relearn control on firing ki beams; right now he needed to learn control of the power itself. Gohan could feel the beads of sweat wrought by his intense concentration form on his brow. With the physical sensation came the loss of the spiritual state of absorption. Gohan came out of his meditative trance and stretched the kinks out of his body.

x

"Finally, are you ready to spar?" Videl asked impatiently. Gohan nodded and stepped forward into a semi-fighting stance. He was hindered from perfection by his right arm which was still encased in the plastic cast, his leg having healed enough to do without a cast. Gohan longed to see the day when his body would function as it was meant to once again. He could already feel the hunger coming back, and he wondered absently how he would explain his sudden appetite to Videl. The next moment the thought flew from his mind as Videl started for him with the sole intent of putting him through his paces.

xxXXxx

Both sweating profusely, Gohan and Videl sipped iced water in the kitchen during their self proclaimed break. At the sound of the door, they both turned to await the inevitable appearance of Hercule. They weren't disappointed, or more aptly put they weren't incorrect in their assumption, as Hercule entered the kitchen.

"You two look like you've been getting quite a workout! Trying to get to be as strong as me, huh?" Hercule threw back his head and guffawed loudly. "Now, we all know you'll never be as strong as me, I'm the World Champ. Videl's close being as she's MY daughter but I'm still stronger." Hercule boasted foolishly. Videl simply rolled her eyes and Gohan remained tolerantly silent.

"Why don't you come join us in the gym, we could spar." Videl invited hopefully.

"Sorry, Sugar Beet, but I got my gym to run and I got a show..." Hercule began evadingly. 'He looks like he's afraid to fight his own daughter. I guess he's caught on that she'd grind him into the dirt.' Gohan observed feeling amused.

"Whatever, dad." Videl snapped in annoyance. Hercule quickly left again and Videl let out a huff.

"Sometimes I wonder if he's even as strong as he was when he beat Cell." Videl muttered darkly. Gohan opted not to comment on that obvious, over exaggerated misconception.

"Come on, Gohan, let's get back to sparring." Videl proposed in irritation. Gohan shrugged and followed her wordlessly.

---

In this chapter THREE MONTHS HAVE PASSED for reality's sake meaning Gohan is finished with his surgeries as well.

Chapter 14: Time Passes

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I knew you wanted to tell me
In your voice there was something wrong
But if you would turn your face away from me
You cannot tell me you're so strong
Just let me ask of you one small thing
As we have shared so many tears

Sarah McLachlan-The Path of Thorns (Terms)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gohan sat idly twirling his pencil in his right hand, marveling at the ability he'd lacked a mere three months ago. 'Too often we, as in humans in general, take things for granted until we lose them.' Gohan mused philosophically. 'I guess it's in our nature. I, who had lost my powers, still took my natural physical health and abilities for granted...' Gohan's absentminded thoughts were broken off by Videl poking her pencil into his side. Gohan gave her an affronted glare; she simply rolled her eyes and motioned to the front of the classroom where Mr. Lao stood lecturing. Or, at least, Gohan had remembered the man droning on about chemistry just moments ago.

x

"Mr. Hashuko, do you plan on answering my question?" Mr. Lao drawled in a bored tone. Gohan blushed embarrassedly and nodded meekly. The other students snickered as he stood and made his way quickly to the board. He solved the Chem. problem mentally and then wrote the steps on the board and boxed his answer.

"Very well, Ru. You can return to your seat." Mr. Lao dismissed casually. As Gohan retook his seat, he caught Videl giving him one of her I'm-not-impressed looks. In retaliation he stuck out his tongue at her.

"Nerd boy." Sharpner sneered condescendingly.

"Wow, Ru that was fast!" Erasa squealed. Gohan merely shrugged at them both.

x

It seemed that after he'd gained some substantial weight back, and stopped looking like a walking skeleton, Videl's friends opened up more. Of course, they knew nothing of Gohan's ravenous eating habits which he'd quickly regained after two weeks off his meds. They also knew nothing of the horrific scars on his person, covered as they always were by jeans and turtle-neck sweaters. And, his name was unacknowledged per his request. He took Videl into his confidence and that trust was not carelessly placed. The bell rang and Gohan felt the relief that only came with a day of school ended.

xxXXxx

Gohan kicked at Videl sharply, but pulled most of his strength when he connected. Videl gasped as the blow caught her off guard and sent her onto her arse. Glaring, she didn't even bother getting to her feet but tried to kick Gohan's feet from under him. Gohan dodged the attempt, and barely prevented himself from being grabbed at the same time. 'Clearly Videl's quite serious today; maybe she's mad about something. I didn't hear anything about her losing any criminals or anything; must be something she isn't telling me.' Gohan thought ruefully.

x

Gohan smiled slightly and shook his head, but this was most definitely a mistake as Videl took advantage of his momentary distraction and clipped him with a kick to the face. Gohan reeled back and fell more from the surprise that Videl hadn't pulled the blow than from any pain. He felt something wet on his chin and when he wiped what he assumed was sweat from his lips his hand came away red.

"Gohan, I'm sorry! God, you're bleeding! I was thinking about something else, I'm real sorry!" Videl exclaimed profusely and stepped toward Gohan. Gohan held up a hand to ward her off, and regained his feet. He was struck dizzy all of a sudden and had to blink several times before the world reoriented itself correctly. Videl stuck out a steadying hand with a look of concern and guilt adorning her features.

"No big deal, Videl. Fighters get bloodied all the time." Gohan muttered as blood dripped a steady stream into his cupped hand. Spasms of pain sparked in his bottom lip as he spoke, so Gohan determined it was split.

"Yeah, but we were just sparring, and you've been pulling all your punches and kicks..." seeing Gohan's fierce look that dared her to contradict him, she quickly changed the subject, "Gah, you're bleeding a lot, let's get you cleaned up." Gohan winced at the royal blue carpet on the floor which was already stained by several drips of blood that escaped his hand.

xxXXxx

"I think were done for today." Videl mumbled as she pulled the damp washcloth from Gohan's split lip. It was white when she'd first applied it to the bleeding cut but now it was half dyed red with blood.

"It hasn't stopped yet." she observed guiltily.

"What was bothering you anyway?" Gohan asked, annoyed with Videl beating herself up about the small cut. Videl smiled slightly when Gohan's voice sounded muffled through the terry cloth.

"It's dad, he wants me to meet his girlfriend tonight. He says she's coming over for dinner," Videl snorted, "We haven't sat down to a family dinner since mom died. All of a sudden he wants to pretend to be a father." Videl looked down at her hands which were gripping each other in a parody of choking the life out of someone. 'I bet I can guess who, on the first try too.' Gohan thought shaking his head with a frown.

"What are you going to do; I mean he's never brought one for you to meet specifically." Gohan perceived candidly.

"Yeah, well, I have to go or he'll ground me from the gym. Will you eat with us?" Gohan could clearly see the desperate hope in Videl's pleading gaze.

"I wouldn't miss it." Gohan replied and cracked a smile.

"Gohan, you idiot, now you've made it bleed more!" Videl accused annoyed but smiling at his agreement. With a contented laugh, she hugged Gohan in thanks.

xxXXxx

'I don't know why I agreed to this.' Gohan said to himself for what felt like the fiftieth time that evening. He stifled a yawn and pushed his almost untouched food around on his plate. The tense silence was almost palpable; it was no wonder Gohan couldn't find it in him to eat. Videl sat stiffly beside him, jabbing food onto her fork with an intensity that had Gohan wondering if she was even seeing the food. He was sure she wasn't when she ate all the mushrooms in her salad without even a change of face; he knew she had an adamant disliking for them. The anger seemed to radiate from her in waves.

x

Hercule was all smiles and compliments to his guest, Ms. Nariko Hahn. To Gohan, she looked like the stereotypical kindergarten teacher she was reputed to be. She had bushy blond hair that framed an oval face. Her eyes were soft around the edges and the color of glistening bronze with flecks of golden amber in them. She was rather diminutive in that fragile sense with healthy rose-colored skin. So far, Nariko had been silent with the exception of her first greeting. Compared to the other 'ladies' Hercule brought home, Gohan could see nothing wrong with this kindly woman.

x

"Uh hum." Hercule stood and cleared his throat loudly. He tapped his glass with his fork, as if he didn't have everyone's attention already. Videl gave out a long suffering sigh and Gohan merely kept himself from smirking at the goon.

"I have an important announcement to make." Hercule stated puffing out his chest ostentatiously. Gohan felt the stirring of interest in spite of himself and Hercule's well known habit of blowing things out of proportion.

"I've asked Nariko to marry me and she's agreed." he declared elatedly. Gohan started and Videl gawked at her father before quickly regaining her ability to speak.

"How...How could you?" she snarled like a feral beast. "I can't believe you; that bitch will never be my mother!" Videl screamed at her father and, turning abruptly, ran from the room.

"Videl, get back here!" Hercule shouted angrily at her back. When she did not return he turned to comfort Nariko and to apologize for Videl's insult.

"No, no, I understand how she feels. Go talk to her, would you?" Nariko asked patting Hercule's arm supportively. Hercule did as she bid and left in the direction Videl had gone.

x

Only after he left did Nariko allow tears to enter her eyes. Gohan felt awkward being alone with Nariko as she cried silent tears. Had she been Videl he would have placed his arm comfortingly around her shoulders but she wasn't Videl and he was damned uncomfortable.

"I'm not trying to replace her mother, you know?" Nariko murmured sadly. It took a moment for Gohan to realize she was speaking to him. Gohan scrutinized Nariko and came to the conclusion she was being sincere. He nodded to show her he did know.

"It's my entire fault he asked to marry me. I'm pregnant." she whispered despondently as more tears leaked from her eyes. Gohan had the immense desire to ask if she loved Hercule, but refrained. Hercule entered the room anyway; he looked peeved about something.

"She wouldn't let me in." he admitted when Nariko gave him an expectant look. He noticed Nariko's tears though and hurried to comfort her. Gohan was astounded to see Hercule Satan envelope the petite woman for no other reason then to show he cared for her. 'I wonder what he was like when Videl's mom was alive, perhaps he was human.' Gohan speculated as he took himself from the room.

xxXXxx

Gohan knocked softly on Videl's door. He'd given her a few hours alone, but now was the time to talk. His eyes had fought to close during the wait, but his anxiety kept him awake.

"Videl, it's Gohan." Gohan murmured only loud enough to be heard through the door. He heard the sound of her bed springs squeak and then the thumps of her feet as she made her way to the door. The lock was released with a soft snick and then the sounds of Videl's retreating steps followed. Gohan turned the knob and slipped into the room that was pitch-dark.

x

He walked carefully across the room, ever mindful of the littered floor, and sat on the edge of her bed. Feeling his way, he found her shoulder and allowed his hand to travel to her back. He rubbed in slow circles like so many times she'd done when he'd had a nightmare or just needed a comforting hand. He felt her breath hitch through the contact and was only mildly surprised when Videl climbed into his lap and curled into his embrace. Gohan whispered placating words and rocked her gently in his arms. Now was not the time to talk about it, that would come later in the morning.

---

Chapter 15: Tempers Collide

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If I made you mad today,
Tell me would you love me
tomorrow? Please,
Or would you say that you don't care,
And then leave me standing here
Like the fool
who is drowning in despair and screaming

3 Doors Down-So I Need You

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'Perhaps it's because she didn't look at me strangely. Or maybe it's because she's so small which is a completely clichéd concept on my part. I should know better than most how size doesn't matter, but then again, I have been getting beaten by the conventional bully.' Gohan mused conversely. He sat on the comfy couch trying to rationalize why he came to trust the dark-haired vixen in such a short time of knowing her. Said girl, Videl, currently lay curled in the center of her bed after crying herself to sleep the previous night. Gohan watched her fetal position with an intense scrutiny. Her breathing was deep and even fluttering wisps of ebony hair along her pillow. Gohan enjoyed the peaceful serenity that her slumbering form induced in him. He yawned greatly and felt his eyelids grow heavy.

xxXXxx

"Gohan! Come on, were gonna be late for school!" Videl's voice yelled into his highly sensitive ears. Gohan woke with a start and winced, he noticed at once he was still in Videl's room. 'I guess I must've dozed off.' Gohan thought wearily.

"Gohan, come on!" Gohan glanced at Videl as she rushed around her room grabbing up homework and various items she'd need for class. Gohan could see no physical evidence of last nights tears but every time he tried to catch her eyes she'd turn away.

"Videl, about yesterday..." Gohan started supportively.

"Gohan, let's talk about this later, ok?" Videl finally met his gaze and because he could read the pain there he agreed to drop the subject, for now.

"Alright, I'm gonna go and get changed." Gohan murmured and left the room.

x

Breakfast, needless to say, was a rushed affair. They barely arrive at school in time for the first bell. Panting slightly as he entered the classroom, Gohan was eternally grateful that Videl was given a margin of leeway and by extension so was he. Gohan plopped into his seat with the air of someone just dragged from bed, which was essentially true. Gohan yawned greatly and received an odd look of concern from Videl. She looked apologetic for something. 'Probably feels bad that she kept me awake last night.' Gohan thought exasperated. He merely turned his attention to the teacher currently lecturing at the front of the class. When the teacher seemed self-absorbed in his own voice, Videl poked Gohan in the arm. Gohan jerked in his seat, 'Damn, I was nodding off again.'

x

"Psst, Ru, how late did you stay up?" Videl's voice held a tone of accusation in it. 'Of course she'll get pissed if I tell her half the night. Never mind the many nights she stayed up with me; she's Videl Satan!' Gohan thought slightly annoyed. He simply shook his head at her and pursed his lips stubbornly in that I'm-not-going-to-tell-you look. Videl huffed and then glared at him ruefully.

"Well, sorry for keeping you up." Videl muttered sardonically. Gohan knew at once that she was still lashing out from the previous night and shook his head sadly.

"Hey, Gohan." Videl whispered quietly. When Gohan glanced over he could see the regret in her expression, "Thanks." she said with sincerity. This time Gohan shook his head again, but he smiled to tell her it was nothing.

xxXXxx

Gohan growled in frustration and ground his teeth with suppressed temper. Videl went shopping with Erasa and Gohan had thought it'd be the perfect time to practice with his ki. So far he'd been at it for an hour and a half. 'This is an exercise in futility!' His mind had raged similar little spurts of irritation in all that time as well. 'Why the hell won't it work? I was just starting to get enough control to form low level blasts, not enough to kill a human or even annoy a saiyan, but it was progress. Now, I can't even focus my ki into one place!'

x

In a burst of uncontrollable rage he stomped his feet and punched the bag nearby until it swung wildly on it's chain. Breathing hard and sweating profusely, Gohan fell to his knees and feebly beat the floor with his fists. 'Well, did that make you feel better, Gohan? How 'bout the word immature or temper tantrum? Don't even start arguing that temper tantrum is two words!' Gohan couldn't decide what was more ludicrous, the fact that he was chastising himself mentally, or the withering glare he was giving himself. The self reproach was reflected in one of the many wall mirrors around the gym. Still there was a small petulant voice in his mind that claimed 'Yes, I do feel better.'

x

Rolling his eyes heavenward and shaking his head at himself he settled down to meditate. 'Ok, Gohan, concentrate. Let the stress just roll off you; you're not the least bit uncomfortable.' Gohan couldn't contain the yawn that drew forth at the tranquil thoughts. The meditative trance that he'd just started was instantly lost with the physical break in monotony. Gohan felt the seething anger erupt in his mind once again but instead of pitching another juvenile fit, he forced himself to calm down and breathe deep. 'You are just too tired to do this right now, Gohan. You'd have more luck after you've had a nice nap.' Gohan told himself sternly. With this in mind, Gohan grabbed a towel and headed to the shower and then to bed.

xxXXxx

Gohan awoke to the sound of yelling voices; he rolled over and exhaled loudly. Groaning as he felt soreness in his arms and legs Gohan mentally berated himself for pushing his training too fast. 'It could be that I'm just trying too hard. Regression might also be a side affect of coming off the drugs. I've been taking them for so long, I wouldn't be surprised if I can't just jump back into super saiyan shape.' Stretching his aching limbs, Gohan stepped from his room and headed toward the raised voices. As he drew closer, Gohan recognized one of the voices as Videl's.

"How could you do such a thing? You didn't even consult me! Don't I have a say?" Videl screamed furiously. Gohan felt a spasm of heart-ache that Videl would be yelling about the engagement before she'd spoken with him.

"No, you aren't the only one who lives here!" Hercule shouted back. Gohan started and felt a sigh of relief escape his lips. So, they weren't talking about the engagement.

x

He reached the archway to the living room and obtained his first glimpse of the pair. It was quite a sight to see, and Gohan realized just who Videl inherited her hard headedness from. Videl and her father stood toe to toe yelling in each other's faces. Of course, Videl being a great deal shorter then her father gave the sight a humorous undertone.

"I don't want her living here; you aren't even married yet!" Videl's eyes were narrowed and her voice was screeching passionately. Gohan could see her arms held rigidly at her sides with fists balled at the ends. Her jaw was clenched and Gohan could clearly see in her stance the desire to strike her father. She was holding on to control by a thin thread and Gohan couldn't help blaming himself for not making her talk everything out with him before now. He understood perfectly why Hercule wanted Nariko to move in; she was pregnant with his child after all.

x

"You will accept it! And, you will treat her with the respect she deserves as my wife and your stepmother!" Hercule's face was red with equal rage that he saw as Videl's unwillingness to cooperate. He was the World's Greatest Champ; he shouldn't have to put up with a disrespecting, disobedient daughter!

"Why should I? And, she's no mother of mine!" Videl snarled back wrathfully. Gohan—deciding now would be a good time to break up the argument before it came to blows as fighters were prone to do—cleared his throat loudly.

x

The two broke apart as if they'd been waiting for an interruption to cool their tempers. Videl was clenching and unclenching her fists as she glared fiercely at her father. Hercule was breathing hard and glowering in Gohan's direction for interrupting, purely on principal. Gohan could see the relief in Hercule's eyes though; no doubt glad he was prevented from doing something he'd later regret. Videl grunted, incensed, and stalked out of the room. Gohan nodded to Hercule and followed Videl. As he left the room he rubbed his face roughly in exhaustion.

xxXXxx

"Are you going to talk to me?" Gohan asked calmly from his position leaning against the wall by Videl's dresser. His arms were crossed over his chest and one leg crossed in front of the other in a laid back way. Videl groaned and reached out a hand unseeingly for a pillow to shove over her head. She lay sprawled on her stomach on top of her bed. Gohan snorted at her pathetic attempt to block him out.

"You know that won't help you. Why don't you just talk to me about it?" Gohan prompted attentively. An unintelligible murmur was his only answer.

x

"Come on, Videl. In all seriousness, why don't you like the idea of a stepmother?" Gohan watched as Videl pulled herself from under the pillow into a sitting position. Her hair was wildly tangled about her head and she pushed some strands away from her face impatiently.

"My mom was the best, Gohan. I just don't like the fact that he's just trying to replace her." she sneered at the allusion to her father.

"You know, Nariko told me she wasn't trying to replace your mom." Gohan informed carefully. Videl rolled her eyes, not in the playful way but with derision, and scoffed.

"Right, she just wants to be my friend. That's until I do something she doesn't like, then it's punishments and parental lectures." Videl retorted cynically. Gohan noticed the sparkle of tears in Videl's eyes. Videl swiped at her eyes intolerantly, she was determined not to cry again.

x

"Videl, don't take this the wrong way, but stop being so selfish." Gohan snapped, irate. Videl gaped at Gohan for a minute and then she jumped up from her bed in a confronting posture.

"You're with them, aren't you? What the hell do you know anyway!" Videl demanded in a scornful voice. Gohan stepped away from the wall and mirrored Videl's stance as he jutted out his jaw and narrowed his eyes.

"Nariko's pregnant Videl. Even if she wasn't I'd say the same thing but that's an important piece of information to consider. As for what do I know? I know that I would give my right arm for someone to love me like a son! For the past six years I've been living in institutions and foster homes where a punch to the face was a sign of unconditional love! Do you honestly think I got these scars from falling down stairs or some shit like that? No! This one," Gohan lifted his shirt to reveal a three inch long scar under his ribcage and to the side, "is from when Hadrian stabbed me with a knife because the sight of my fucking blood was thrilling to him! You don't know what it's like to have some man twice your size come into your room at night and..." Gohan turned abruptly away and pinched the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb in an attempt to stem the tears. It worked and Gohan stared at his feet ashamed.

"I was too weak...hell, I didn't even care anymore...I lost my family and I had no more reason to live...I tried to kill myself." Gohan whispered brokenly and sagged onto the edge of the bed to cup his head in his hands and rub his face despairingly.

"Gohan, I...I didn't know." Videl whispered in a strangled voice. When Gohan looked up at Videl he saw the tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"Don't do what I did; don't take your family for granted. Blood means nothing to those who truly love each other as a family." Gohan spoke softly with a sense of profound fatigue.

---

NOTE: Why Gohan hasn't been found by Bulma who we all know has excellent resources at her disposal...Gohan didn't tell anyone his name; he didn't talk at all of course! Anyway, you must keep in mind that Bulma would be looking for GOHAN, not a mute boy that's suicidal! Even if she tried to locate him by description Gohan was put into the institution soon after being shoved into the foster system and his files would have been handed over so many different precincts and sects of the adoption system getting lost in itself. The Z fighters specifically can't find him because of his lack of ki signature.

Chapter 16: Fainting and Fatigue

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Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face

And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place

Michael W. Smith-Missing Person

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Here, let me help you with that." Videl offered graciously. Nariko smiled and allowed Videl to take the box from atop the one she carried.

"I didn't realize how much stuff I had until I had to pack it all up and move it over." Nariko laughed as she dropped the box into the master bedroom which was more like the master floor. Videl smiled back as she hauled the heavy box into the room behind Nariko and gently placed it on the floor.

"What did you bring in there, bricks?" Videl regarded the box as if it wouldn't surprise her one bit to literally uncover bricks within it.

"No, that box has some of my students' work." Nariko chuckled affably and opened the box to reveal colorful finger paintings on the top. Videl picked up the top drawing which resembled something in the likeness of a red banana but with arms and legs.

"Looks like something in the throws of agony." Gohan commented looking over Videl's shoulder as he carried in a box. Videl giggled as she nodded in agreement which made Nariko demand to see the picture they viewed. Videl handed the picture over to Nariko who smiled kindly and shook her head.

"This was made by one of my less talented students. It was supposed to be his brother. On second thought, I really don't think he liked his brother very much." Nariko said gazing into her memory. Videl and Gohan were busy pulling out other drawings and commenting on what they resembled.

x

Several gruesome stick figures and grotesque disfigured faces later, the three of them could be found laughing hilariously together on the floor of the master room. Videl wiped tears from her eyes and tried to cool her flushed cheeks. Gohan actually looked extremely pale by comparison, but he was laughing so hard he was clutching his aching stomach.

"Who ever thought little five year olds could be so entertaining?" Videl gasped and calmed enough to breathe regularly. Then Gohan had to go and make a parody of one especially bizarre expression and Videl cracked up again. "Enough! If I laugh any more I'll split my sides!"

"We still have plenty of boxes to bring in." Gohan commented idly. He felt something deep down that reminded him of days long past. Shaking his head he stood to work out the kinks in his bones and winced. Videl skipped out ahead of him and when he started to follow, Nariko stopped him with a hand on his arm.

x

"Gohan, I'd like to thank you. I know it was you who changed Videl's mind about me. And, I can only imagine the extreme trust you have in each other that you would speak to me on her request." Nariko murmured sincerely.

"Actually, I told her I felt compelled to speak to you the first time I met you. It was the same feeling I had with Videl; she just told me to follow my instincts. You won't...You won't tell Hercule or use my real name around anyone else, will you?"

"Gohan, I promise I'll call you Ru until you feel it's time to reveal your own identity. I will not take that choice from you. I only hope you can come to trust me enough not to need to ask me such questions in the future." Nariko pledged earnestly.

x

"Hey, you guys, are you gonna make me do all the work?" Videl demanded witheringly.

"Ha, I knew you only wanted my body!" Gohan shouted pointing to Videl and then blushed deeply.

"Wait, that didn't come out right." Gohan muttered embarrassedly. Videl blushed as well and Nariko tucked her tongue into her cheek and smiled slightly.

"Let's just go get the damn boxes." Gohan proposed shuffling purposely out of the room and down the stairs. Videl and Nariko exchanged glances and grinned at each other.

"You know what, Gohan was right. You and I can be real good friends." Videl commented contentedly.

"I'm relieved to hear that; I'll need all the friends I can get with this one." Nariko stated gesturing to her firm mound that was barely curved.

"So how far along are you?"

"Three and a half months, pretty soon I'll be gaining a lot of weight and I'll be fat as a cow." Nariko smiled as her hands cradled her abdomen. Videl only smiled and laughed as she and Nariko went to help Gohan unload the other boxes. Gohan huffed as he passed Videl and Nariko up to the bedroom. 'Geez, this must be all her books!' Gohan reached the top of the steps and made it to the room without dropping the box. There he set it down with exaggerated care. He stood up and was suddenly slammed by dizziness and nausea. The floor suddenly came up to give him a hard welcome.

ooo

Gohan followed the voices into the living room. He stood just out of sight behind the entrance way and listened intently.

"He's making progress. He says the gravity doesn't bother him as much as when he first woke." Bulma was saying. Gohan frowned, 'I only said that so she'd feel better about the stupid pills.' Gohan sighed softly; it'd been about two weeks since he woke up that first day.

"I'm still worried about him though. I mean, he doesn't talk anymore and you guys haven't been talking with him." Bulma accused sternly.

"But, Bulma, we've all told Gohan we're here for him if he wants to talk." Krillin defended.

"That's just the thing, Gohan doesn't need a therapist; he needs his friends. None of you talk to him about martial arts or his father!" Bulma sounded exasperated now.

"You can't be serious! He can't fight anymore, and his father is dead. Why would we talk to him about that stuff; that'd be cruel!" Yamcha cried out incredulously.

"No, by not talking to him, you're reinforcing his guilt. You guys are cutting him out of the one thing that bound you all together. Especially by not talking about Goku, it's as if you blame him for Goku's death." Bulma announced in annoyance.

"The brat could have finished Cell off before Kakarott sacrificed himself." Vegeta muttered bluntly. Behind the wall, Gohan winced and grimaced from guilt. 'At least Vegeta tells the truth no matter how asinine.' he thought self depreciatively.

"Is that how you all feel?" Bulma was demanding furiously of the others in the room. There was a hesitation that told Gohan more than any words ever could, and he turned and walked away without waiting for their answers. 'They'd probably deny it anyway.' his mind whispered darkly.

ooo

"Gohan! Gohan, are you alright? What're you doing on the floor?" Gohan heard Videl's voice as if from afar. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly as the black dots in his vision faded. Looking around, Gohan noticed he was lying on the floor of the master bedroom. Videl and Nariko were giving him twin looks of concern.

"Wha?" Gohan mumbled and bushed himself into a sitting position. He shook his head as if to clear it and wondered vaguely what happened.

"Gohan, what happened?" Videl echoed impatiently.

"I...I think I fell asleep." Gohan replied with a huge yawn to convince them. Meanwhile, his thoughts were whirling with uncertainty and worry.

"Well, next time you decide to take a nap, have it somewhere other then the floor. Videl or I could have stepped on you." Nariko told him caringly. Gohan nodded in acquiescence.

xxXXxx

Gohan sat with his head cradled in his arms as he snoozed on his desk. The teacher's voice was droning on, the perfect boring background to keep him drowsy. Videl was paying close attention for indiscernible reasons and shooting Gohan annoyed looks.

"Psst, Ru, wake up." Videl ordered poking Gohan in the arm. Gohan started and winced; then he gave Videl a scathing look.

"Why are you always sleeping? Stop staying up so late." Videl commanded unremorsefully. Gohan pointedly turned away from her stern face and closed his eyes. 'I'm just resting my eyes for a minute.' he justified himself mentally.

"Ru!" Gohan jumped as Videl kicked him, hard, under the table. Gohan pulled his legs out of kicking range and gave Videl a wounded look. Videl realized she'd overstepped her bounds and muttered an apology.

"Ru, you need to pay attention in class. You're going to fall behind." she said by way of explanation. The bell rang and Gohan stood grabbing his bag and shuffling out of the room. He did not wait for Videl or even acknowledge her presence when she caught up to him.

"Gohan, what's wrong with you?" Videl whispered crossly. Gohan simply walked into the boy's locker room to change for physical education.

xxXXxx

Gohan leaned against the wall weakly and studied Videl's aggravated expression. 'Videl, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm always tired and I can't explain why. Can't you see that I'm just as confused as you? I can't tell you why I'm so grumpy or irritable.' Gohan thought wearily.

"Alright now, class, gather around. Today, we'll be learning some martial arts. Can I have two volunteers that have experience?" Mr. Lee requested smiling.

"Ru and I will volunteer." Videl offered with a smirk in Gohan's direction. Gohan shrugged and went to the middle of the floor with Videl. Sharpner and many of the other students catcalled to 'Nerd Boy'. Gohan ignored them and sunk flawlessly into his fighting stance, as did Videl.

"I want you two to spar for a bit, just so that the rest of the students understand the concept." Mr. Lee clarified.

"Sure thing. Are you ready Ru?" Videl's eyes danced with anticipation of the fight. Gohan nodded and it began.

x

Videl almost caught him from the outset but Gohan managed to dodge her jab and leg sweep. Gohan kicked at Videl who in turn sidestepped and moved in with her own punch. The blow grazed Gohan's chin and he used Videl's own momentum against her by eluding a follow through and pushing her forward. Videl regained her footing after a moment of stumbling. She whipped around and thrust an elbow into Gohan's ribs in a second of inattentiveness on Gohan's part. Gohan's breath escaped in a whoosh from the pressure. Gohan clasped both arms across his midsection and tumbled to the floor in a dead faint.

"Ru? Ru!" Videl dropped down to the crumpled body and turned it over. Gohan's face was ashen and twisted in an expression of agony. "Call an ambulance! Ru!" Videl shook Gohan's shoulders in an effort to wake him but met with no success. The students crowded around her and the limp body in her arms. Tears began to form in her eyes, course down her cheeks, and fall onto the pallid teen's face.

"Ru, please wake up; I didn't mean to hurt you!" Videl beseeched hoarsely as she grasped his body to her.

---

Chapter 17: Diagnosis and Denial

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Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into a rock beating inside of me
So I reel
Such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel

Michael W. Smith-Missing Person

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gohan woke to the sound of his heart-beat which was being monitored by a machine. Feeling both feverish and pained, Gohan groaned in agony. 'I feel like I was run over by a bus; anyone catch the license plate number?' Gohan recognized the standard hospital room simply by the smell of the disinfectant, and later by the pale beige walls when he opened his eyes. One hand raised to feel his damp brow and was surprised to see an IV drip imbedded in his arm. 'I must've been in real bad shape. But, what could've happened?' he wondered groggily.

x

Trying to sit up was Gohan's first prerogative, and it turned out to be a foolish move. Not only did his head pound viciously, but tremendous pain sprouted from just below his ribs. Gasping and dragging in arduous breaths, Gohan managed to drag his hospital garment up to where he could then see his midsection. Gohan felt sick at the sight of a large black-purple bruise that started in the middle of his stomach and continued around to his back where he couldn't see. As Gohan stared with a sort of gob smacked expression on his face the door to his room opened with a soft whish. Blushing brilliantly—with a face already flushed with fever—made Gohan turn an amazing shade of red.

x

"Gohan! You really shouldn't be up right now!" Videl exclaimed as she rushed forward to lay a commanding hand on Gohan's shoulder. Gohan allowed himself to be pushed gently back down onto the mattress. He watched Videl's concerned face as she hovered over him like a mother hen. Gohan felt relief more than anything, even the pain at that moment, because he'd briefly believed that the past months had all been a dream. Gohan actually doubted if he had ever truly escaped Hadrian's house and come to live with the Satans. With Videl beside him, Gohan was left without a doubt in his mind, and that soothed him profoundly.

x

Gohan reached out a tentative hand and enveloped Videl's in a search for comfort. He received quite a shock when Videl suddenly burst into tears and clenched his hand to her desperately.

"I'm so sorry! If I'd have known you were sick, I wouldn't have given you such a hard time at school. I should've noticed, and I shouldn't have volunteered you to fight!" Videl turned her face away in shame as tears splashed onto their joined hands.

"Everything's a little fuzzy right now, Videl. Whatever happened, I'm sure you didn't mean it, and I forgive you." Gohan rasped out of an extremely parched throat. Videl gave Gohan a watery smile and swallowed her tears.

"Do you want some water?"

"Yes, please." Gohan smiled and then grimaced when the hammer inside his skull turned into a pick axe. Videl, noticing his pained expression, hurried to get some ice-water.

x

When she returned she tipped the straw in the cup to Gohan's lips so he could drink his fill.

"The doctors took some blood tests and did some other things I don't know of. They said you're very ill." Videl whispered from her perch on the side of Gohan's bed.

"Do they know what's wrong?"

"We'll have to wait for the results to come in which could take up to two days." Videl looked quite peeved at the idea of having to wait so long. Gohan's lips quirked into a weak smile, humored by her affection.

"It's probably just something to do with stress and overworking myself so soon after recovering from surgery and starvation." Gohan suggested tiredly. Videl held Gohan's hand securely and beamed at him.

"I'm sure you're right. I think a little rest and relaxation is in order. You should go to sleep now and I'll see about getting someone to give you something for that fever of yours," Videl replied enthusiastically. Gohan yawned loudly and nodded off to sleep before Videl even reached the door.

xX One Day Later Xx

Gohan was propped up by a mountain of pillows looking quite content though a little pale. Videl sat beside him in the canvas upholstered chair by the bed.

"And, here's Sharpner's." Videl stated handing Gohan a piece of folded paper. On the front was a crude caricature of a geek wearing an ensemble that duplicated Gohan's own. Gohan opened the card to see a brawny blonde haired drawing of a man making an obscene gesture. In the speech bubble were words saying 'Get well soon Nerd-Boy.' Gohan rolled his eyes and heaved an exasperated sigh. Videl snickered impishly and Gohan was forced to slap her playfully in an effort to stand up for himself. Videl only grinned wickedly and winked.

"I happen to like geeky boys." she pouted in a coquettish manner. Gohan flushed and tossed the get-well card onto his beside table, on the opposite side from where Videl sat.

"Any more? I think I received one from everyone in class." Gohan speculated looking at the pile of get-well cards.

"Mr. Akiro made an announcement in class and thought it'd be nice for everyone to show their support.' Videl shrugged negligently. Gohan considered this for a moment and shrugged it off as well. "So, how're you feeling today; better than yesterday?"

x

Gohan frowned at the topic of his health which never failed to make an appearance in any conversation.

"I'm doing better." Gohan replied simply and offered no further explanation. Instead, he ventured a question of his own. "Why do the doctors insist I stay here? I mean, why can't I go home until the results come in?"

"They're worried about you collapsing again, or worse. I think it's better to be safe than sorry." Videl replied unflinchingly. Gohan snorted in response.

"That is such a lame cliché, and you know it." Gohan muttered darkly. 'The doctors must think whatever's wrong with me is serious enough to warrant prolonged hospitalization.' Gohan's mind finished forebodingly.

"Well, maybe it is, but that isn't the point." Videl huffed stubbornly.

"Oh, and what is the point?" Gohan looked to Videl pointedly as his lips twitched involuntarily.

"The point is you're stuck here whether you like it or not until the doctors say you're better." Videl retorted. Gohan threw back his head and laughed feeling elated for the first time since waking in the hospital.

"You're twisting it around; my question was why, not how long." Gohan rejoined.

"By the way, what did you try to ask me the other day on the phone?" Videl asked while completely ignoring Gohan's remark.

"Now you're changing the subject. I won and you know it." Gohan smirked evilly. Videl sneered and stuck her tongue out immaturely.

xX One Day Later Xx

Gohan stood at the window to his room looking out at the city below. It amazed him how peaceful everything looked far away from the hustle and bustle of the streets and the constant noise. He heard the door open and close behind him, but did not turn to acknowledge the visitor. He already knew who she was, Videl visited yesterday around this time. Only today was different, today marked the end of the wait.

"So, how bad is it, Videl?" Gohan questioned somberly.

"I apologize; Videl is at this moment composing herself with her parents. Mr. Satan asked that I inform you of your condition." a male voice articulated calmly. Gohan turned and regarded the man with curious eyes.

"I find myself amazed at the terms you people come up with to describe the most horrendous maladies. The most simplest and humane words are twisted until they're simply technical jargon. Why don't you tell me about my 'condition'." Gohan spat the word distastefully. The doctor nodded, he was unsurprised that Gohan elected to speak to him as he'd never met the boy in consciousness and knew nothing of his select mutism.

x

"You have what is called Leukemia, and judging by its rapid progression it is an acute form of the cancer." the doctor explained formally. "The symptoms you display are exactly those of the condition; irritation, fever, loss of appetite, anemia, and deep bone pain." The doctor paused as if waiting for his information to sink in. 'He can go jump off a bridge, there's no way that I have cancer.' Gohan thought acerbically though he motioned the doctor to continue.

"Treatment will begin as soon as we've done a lumbar puncture, or more commonly known as a spinal tap. The procedure will help us identify exactly which form of Leukemia you have and how to treat you," the doctor paused noticing Gohan's now glazed expression, "We'll explain in more detail when you've come to terms with this." The doctor nodded politely and excused himself from the room. Gohan managed to remain standing until he heard the soft thud of the door closing behind the doctor. Then, his legs gave out from under him and he dropped to the floor limply. 'It can't be true, he's lying! I don't have cancer, people with cancer die.' his mind screamed desperately.

xXXx

Gohan drank his water slowly as he studied Videl. She had large red rims around her eyes and dried tear streaks down her cheeks.

"I saw you on TV fighting those wanna-be thugs. They had no clue what they got themselves into, fighting you." Gohan chuckled good-naturedly and ignored the subtle pounding in his head. Videl's gaze snapped up and she gapped at him.

"They just told us...they said...s-said you have Leukemia! H-How can y-you sit there and...and talk about my fighting criminals?" her voice was choked and wavering as she tried to hold back her tears.

"That was some fight; they didn't have a chance." Gohan remarked with a playful smile.

"Gohan! Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Videl screamed and grabbed Gohan by the shirtfront. Her hands held a bunch of his clothing in tightly closed fists and Gohan could feel her trembling through the thin fabric. Gohan glared and turned his face away from Videl's, 'Why won't she just drop it?'

"Gohan, you have Leukemia!" Videl shouted and shook him violently for emphasis.

x

"You think I don't realize that?" Gohan suddenly roared distraughtly. He felt the tears form in his own eyes and closed his lids tightly against their escape.

"What do you want me to say? I'm fucking dying, Videl, and you want me to give you comfort? What the hell do you want from me!" Gohan's voice cracked and his own tears made their craggy course down his cheeks to his immense chagrin. His fists were clenched at his sides and his headache had escalated into a migraine in the course of seconds. The shaking of his bunched fists and the weakness he felt only enhanced his feelings of helplessness and frustration.

"I've been beaten to a bloody pulp more times than I can count! I've been stabbed, shot, whipped, tortured, and now I find out my life will end as a result of a damn disease! Look at me, Videl! Haven't I suffered enough of this shit? Will I be forever cursed to live a life of misery and pain? I can't stand it anymore; it makes me want to die!" Gohan shrieked as the veins in his neck stood out. His face had dark blotches of redness in them that looked sickly against his waxy skin tone. His expression was contorted in extreme emotional and physical agony. Videl's hands flew up to her face where she sobbed unbearably from his harsh words.

x

"W-Why are...you...saying these th-things?" Videl managed between raucous sobs.

"What things? It's the truth; that's what you want isn't it? You want me to acknowledge the fact that I'm going to die! Well, job fucking accomplished, Videl!" Gohan spat cruelly as he brutally swiped a hand across his eyes. Videl only sobbed harder and her legs gave way so she slumped to the floor inconsolably.

"You can't handle the truth? It's not even happening to you! What do you care? By this time next year you'll have forgotten all about me; you'll have a new sibling and the perfect family." Gohan snarled maliciously. Videl began rocking back and forth while shaking her head repetitively. Gohan looked on impassively until the sound of her voice reached his ears.

"It isn't true, it isn't true, it isn't true." she whispered over and over in a mantra. 'Oh god, what have I done?' Gohan thought wretchedly. She sat with her arms wrapped securely around her up drawn knees looking like a pitifully lost child. Her face was buried in her arms, her chin to her chest.

x

The only sounds were those of her sobs and the constant, whispered incantation. Gohan's breath hitched in his chest and a large lump of self-loathing filled his throat. Tumbling out of bed, Gohan slid to the floor dragging his twisted blankets with him, and crawled to Videl's curled form. He enveloped Videl within his arms and petted her hair in a cosseting gesture. His tears traveled down his own face to dampen her hair as he held her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he whispered repetitively in a broken voice. "Videl, I didn't mean it; please forgive me. I need you, Videl." Gohan croaked as wracking sobs violently shook him. "I'm a-afraid of dying." Gohan murmured ashamed. Videl sniffed and wiped at her eyes before giving Gohan a peculiar look.

"But, I th-thought...didn't you try t-to..." Videl trailed off on a shaky breath.

"Kill myself?" Gohan's grip on Videl tightened instinctively. "Yeah, but that was when...when I had nothing to lose." Gohan said softly looking directly into Videl's watery blue eyes. Videl stared into Gohan's bleak obsidian gaze and saw the swirl of tumultuous emotions expressed within. Deep under the pain, rage, and misery she saw a flicker of, was it regret?

x

Moving purely on impulse, Gohan cupped Videl's chin in one long fingered, delicate hand and angled her face flawlessly. Videl felt her breath catch in her throat as Gohan leaned in to touch his lips to hers. Gohan felt her soft, moist lips upon his own and, applying a bit of pressure on her chin, coaxed her mouth open to kiss her properly. His right hand traveled to the back of her throat and his left rested lightly on her lower back. He heard her gasp and felt her throat vibrate with a guttural moan as he swallowed the small sound. She tasted of sweetened lemonade and salty tears. He could feel her hands gripping his shoulders intensely, though they did not push him away but rather pulled him closer to her. Gohan could hear his heart pounding in time with the dull rush of pain in his head. He completely ignored the pain of Videl's bruising grip and lost himself in the uncomplicated pleasure of the embrace. When suffocation threatened to become a very possible predicament their lips parted from each other's. Videl's eyes held a sort of dreamy contentedness and her lips looked thoroughly ravished.

x

Gohan was breathing vigorously and trying to clear his vision which had faded slightly from severe lack of oxygen. Videl buried her face in the crook of Gohan's neck with her arms wrapped around his torso, and tried to catch her own breath. Gohan laid his chin atop her head; they were a perfect fit. His arms held her protectively to his own warm chest where she could hear his heart beating rapidly.

"Please, don't leave me alone, Videl." Gohan implored softly in her velvety hair. Videl's hands squeezed him gently and she raised her head to look into his eyes tenderly.

"How could I ever leave you? I love you, Gohan." Videl professed sincerely and brushed her lips faintly across his own. Gohan buried his face in her flowing hair and let out a shuddering breath.

"I'm scared." he confessed unsteadily.

"I'm here with you. I'll help you through it." Videl countered soothingly as she felt him begin to tremble again. "I promise, even if you go bald from chemotherapy I'll stay with you." Videl promised amusedly. Gohan managed a weak chuckle before his eyelids began to droop in exhaustion.

TBC