Hey everybody! Chapter 9 is finally up! I only write when I feel like writing so, sorry... Anyway, I shall try updating AT LEAST once a week okay? That should calm all you down. Here are the replies to my extremely faithful reviewers and readers!
Lovely replies (yeah right):
Hiei's pet monkey: Yup, Arty and Holly sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G – shucks! You're contagious! ((Grins)) You are ALWAYS the first one to review my newly posted chapters so extra thanks to you! And me love Arty/Holly pairings too... wait, you haven't actually said whether you liked them. Oh well. I do!
Elyne: Cool. Artemis Fole DIES!!! No she doesn't . Muahaaahahhaha!!! Err just keep in mind... the shuttle is some kind of weird pressure shuttle special thingy that keeps the pressure to a minimum. And remember the suit! The suit is special too! Little girly Artemis should be grateful to Opal for being such a brilliant pixie and managing to create the weird pressure suits! Got that? Oh look, my words are in the wrong order. HAHA!! Who cares! Thanks for reviewing anyways!
suga CraZie: I can't update now! Well I am actually. MUAHAHA!!! Thanks for reviewing!!! Have u updated your story???
EvilExpressions: Whoa, that's a relief. Thanks for reviewing!
Cyberspace: Okay then thanks for reviewing!
trohS-ylloH: Oh thanks! For complimenting A Talk in Haven. Haha! I haven't got 33 reviews for that yet so I'm NOT going to update!!! Thanks for reviewing too! Why don't you write your own fic?
Raven and Januarye: Really? Thank you! Let's see... What happens to Fole... DO YOU THINK I'm gonna TELL YOU??? Scroll down and read!! Oh yeah, thanks for reviewing!!!!
Snuffles208: Wow, you skip homework in your bag? Just to read my fic? Okay then, THANK YOU!!! Thanks for reviewing two times in a row!
Err... enough thank yous already. Have I missed out anyone? If not, let me type this fic!
Artemis: I'm going to stand in your way until you delete this extremely pathetic, useless Fole character!!
Me: SHUT UP ARTEMIS!!!
Artemis (girl): Yeah, shut up! I'm the main character here!
Artemis: I'm also one of the main characters, if you didn't already know.
Artemis (girl): Like, duh! I already did, I'm a genius like you are!
Me: Both of you shut UP!!! Get back onto the paper so I can type!
Artemis and Artemis Fole: ((shuffles feet and gets back onto the paper))
Me: That's better. Sorry for the huge interruption.
Chapter Nine: A need for Fowl
Ireland, Fowl ManorHolly cautiously followed Artemis into the manor, her hand resting lightly on her Neutrino 2000.
"Foaly hasn't made a new version yet?" said Artemis, leading Holly to the kitchen.
"What do you expect from a supposedly smart pony like him? Still the old Neutrinos," sighed Holly. "Not exactly old, I must say. But still, you would think Foaly would have made a new version by now, would you? Well, obviously you would, since you're Artemis Fowl."
"True," admitted Artemis. Holly was surprised to hear nothing coming from her earpiece. Surely by now Foaly would have snorted or said something? Instead, she was hearing a lot of static.
"Artemis?"
"Yes, Holly?"
"Something's wrong, nobody's speaking," said Holly worriedly. "Commander? Foaly? FOALY!!! Oh D'Arvit." Holly tapped her earpiece angrily. Surely it wasn't malfunctioning? If it were, Holly would kick Foaly right in his hairy behind. Of course she had harboured those thoughts before, but right now she wasn't feeling exactly irritated with Foaly, she was worried.
"Problems?"
Holly had the urge to say 'duh'.
"Obviously," she said instead, tugging off her helmet and inspecting it. Against regulations, of course.
"Do you want me to examine it?"
"Err..." said Holly, thinking it over. "I guess so." She handed the helmet reluctantly over to Artemis. They reached the kitchen a few minutes later and Artemis handed over the helmet.
"Everything's functioning," he said, sitting down as Holly looked disbelievingly at him.
"Then why are they ignoring me?" said Holly aloud. Just then, she heard a whimpering in the corner.
"Diggums," she said threateningly, whipping out her Neutrino.
"Don't shoot me Holly, don't shoot me!" whimpered Mulch. "I didn't mean to return the Mud Boy's memories-"
"You mean you did," corrected Artemis.
"Yeah, you did," agreed Holly. "And it's my duty to throw you into... hmmm... let's say... Howler's Peak for a few centuries, how about that?"
"No way! That's a goblin prison!" moaned Mulch. "I won't last a day there!"
Holly turned to Artemis.
"And I guess you won't want to be mind-wiped again... Say, how DID you get past my mesmer?" said Holly suspiciously.
"Well, I wouldn't tell you, would I?" Artemis said, smirking. Holly rolled her eyes.
"Yeah you wouldn't," she said. Suddenly, she heard gunfire in her earpiece.
"Oh D'Arvit! They're in trouble!" cried Holly. "Commander! Commander! What's your status! And Foaly! What's yours?"
"Holly? Oh thank heavens you're still there!" cried Foaly's voice. He sounded very urgent. "Opal's just blasted Police Plaza with some new weapon of hers! People are screaming and running around – there's goblins too!"
"GOBLINS?" shrieked Holly. "D'ARVIT!!! WHAT ARE GOBLINS DOING HERE!!!"
"How would I know!!! Oh good, they've gone, we need you down here this instant, Holly-"
"What about Fowl?"
"Bring them! I don't care! Bring Mulch too!" roared Root's voice in the background. Holly glanced at Artemis and Mulch.
"Yessir, we'll be right down," said Holly. She turned to Mulch and Artemis.
"We're needed down there, Haven's in trouble," explained Holly quickly, adjusting her wings. "You don't need to come, Butler," she added quickly.
"But what about Artemis-"
"He'll be fine, I promise," said Holly, gesturing towards Artemis and Mulch and running towards Fowl Manor's entrance.
"Yes, Butler, stay here," said Artemis and to his distaste, ran after Holly. Mulch glanced around weakly, sighed and ran after both of them. Being obliging certainly wasn't Mulch's way of living.
Opal's shuttle
"Wow, boss, that was so totally cool!" cried one of the goblins, reloading his Softnose.
"Yeah, did you see all that blood spewing about?" laughed another, punching the air.
Opal winced and concentrated on manoeuvring the shuttle. Power-hungry, those goblins were. Once they saw blood they would be happy. Quite gross, really. But she had to give the goblins a part of their fun, didn't she? Anyway, she had blasted Police Plaza, and that had felt really good.
"Yes, yes," she said wearily. "Now shut up and let me concentrate."
"I think I shot that Trouble guy, ya know," boasted one of the goblins. "He was like, spewing blood from his chest."
"No I did! Too bad Root was in the building. Man, boss, you could have blasted a few more holes, couldn't you?"
"Whoa, they had weapons this time and yet they're still defeated by us goblins!" yelled a goblin above all the noise.
"SHUT UP OR I'LL THROW YOU ALL INTO THE CHUTE AND IT WON'T BE MY FAULT IF YOU GET BURNT BY THE MAGMA FLARES!!!" screamed Opal. The goblins shut up.
Dublin, Ireland
Holly strapped Artemis and to her revulsion, Mulch, onto her Moonbelt and wrapped them up in cam foil.
"We're going to have to grab the next shuttle. It's going to be hard on you, Artemis, those tourists from Atlantis will probably freak out when they see you, poor you," said Holly sarcastically as she clipped them on her Moonbelt.
"Yes, and they're going to riot against me, saying "No Mud People, no mud people!" and torch me alight, I suppose?" said Artemis.
"Yeah yeah, nice sarcasm, Mud Boy, you're in for a bumpy ride," said Holly and just then remembered she could not shield.
"Oh excellent," she groaned, and tried to shield.
"Oh, poor little Holly can't shield!" said Mulch.
"Shut up, Diggums!" cried Holly and summoned every ounce of her magic. Finally, she managed to shield after a few tries.
"I'll have to do the Ritual," she sighed and took off. Remembering her passengers were her least favourite (A/N: or most favourite?;)) Mud Boy and a criminal, she rose rapidly into the air, ignoring the high-pitched screams from Mulch and dived so fast Artemis felt as if his skin was going to be ripped right of his bones and at the same time he saw Mulch fall into a deep faint.
"Holly, is there any need to fly like this?"
"Of course! We're on a tight schedule, if you didn't know," Holly said mockingly as she rose up into the air once again.
Artemis sighed as he felt Holly pull into a deep dive and reluctantly, he closed his eyes.
Artemis Fole's point of view
"Ow..." mumbled Artemis as she huddled in a tiny crack. She peered out. The place looked very advanced and it was very bright even though this was underground. There were short old guys with long beards running around and – HEALING the injured party. Everyone was babbling in a weird language and it was chaos everywhere.
Artemis looked at her swollen ankle. Not too bad though, considering the worse injuries she had encountered when she was in the gym. Broken arm, sprained wrist, fractured hand... and the rest. She massaged it and tried to twist the foot into the right place.
There was a tiny 'crack' and the pain subsided. She sighed in relief and squeezed against the wall. It was a very tiny hole she was sitting in; she couldn't even stand. It had taken a considerable amount of time finding a good place to hide. This wasn't exactly a perfect hide out but it would do.
Suddenly, she heard two short guys with pointy ears and weird weapons coming her way. She gulped and leaned against the wall.
"Root said check in cracks, goblins might have jumped off and sneaked into cracks. Perfect hiding places," said one in the weird language. (A/N: Obviously little Arty Fole here doesn't know what they're saying) Artemis held her breath.
"Hey! There's a crack, that one, just in front of us."
"That's too tiny for a goblin to crawl into! Even I can't fit in it! Use your common sense, Grub."
"Oh yeah."
The two 'people' turned around and left. Artemis sighed in relief. She needed to get back home. Or was this the home of the fairies? If it were, she had hit the jackpot.
Chute Terminal E1: Tara, Ireland
"Wait here, I need to get the guy in charge to prevent any other rides from arriving," Holly said to Artemis and Diggums after unclipping them from her Moonbelt. She strode into the shuttle port and rushed over to the head of security.
"Hey, Mister, I need you to keep the arrivals and departure halls completely clear for a couple of hours. And I need a priority pod," said Holly simply. The head of security turned around and stepped backwards when he saw Holly.
"Hey, you're tha' crazy girly captain who wanted to buzz me with that baton of yours when I didn't stop all the arrivin' pods durin' the goblin revolution," said the goblin, stammering. "LEP business again, I suppose?"
"Yep, mister-"
"Commandant Terryl."
"Commandant Terryl. Okay, you see, one of the passengers going to Haven is a Mud Boy, and you wouldn't like your tourists rioting, would you?"
"Oh yeah, that's righ', mud men in the terminal again. All you girlys are nuts, man," snorted the goblin.
"You don't believe me? Take a look for yourself," said Holly and flew over to Artemis and dragged him by the edge of his school blazer to a dumbfounded Commandant Terryl. They were lucky there were no tourists walking about at the moment since they were all watching live video feed of the 'downfall' of Root and Police Plaza.
Artemis was protesting loudly in English, which caught the ears of every officer in charge present.
"You see! Pure mud, okay? Now let me get a pod before I remove my obstruction," said Holly and she rested her hand on her buzz baton. The goblin winced.
"You wun' dare do tha'," said Terryl, although he was trembling.
"Oh yeah? How sure are you about that? You're obstructing LEP business like you did before. Why don't I just leave this mud boy here and leave the tourists rioting, and remove the said obstruction, in this case, you?" said Holly, smirking. Slowly, she curled her fingers around her buzz baton.
"That time was two mud men and it was urgent LEP business," objected the goblin. "You can't jus' go aroun' and order poor officers like me to give you priority pods when I dun' even know what's going on!"
"You don't know what's going on?" said Holly, her eyes glinting dangerously. "I'll tell you what's going on! If you don't give me a visa or leave the departure and arrivals halls clear for at least an hour, there's gonna be a huge riot and you'll be fired for obstructing a LEP operation, plus an extra scorch mark on your behind!" she hissed, now clutching her baton tightly.
"But there's one group of tourists departin' and abou' four pods arrivin' in an hour!" whimpered the goblin.
"I'll fly that fast if you let me go NOW. See, I don't know what the fuss is all about, I'm just going to fly a shuttle pod there and the next moment all your business can start again. Anyway, none of the tourists are here, they're all watching PPTV," insisted Holly. The goblin grunted and reluctantly printed out a visa.
"This is only a one-hour visa, if you don't get back by that time you'll be taken into custody-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, goblin, if I've only got one hour I'd better get moving," said Holly and grinning, she grabbed both Artemis and Mulch and to the officers' astonishment, she pushed them hard into one of the pods and jumped into the front seat.
"That's crazy girly captains for you!" yelled Holly as she rammed the thrusters to maximum and took off.
"That's one crazy girly captain," commented the officers simultaneously.
Haven, a very 'broken' Police Plaza
Holly deposited Artemis and Mulch into two chairs in one of the old dungeons in Police Plaza and whipped off their cam foils, leaving Artemis tumbling to the floor. A satisfied smile stretched across her face.
"I've got to go return the shuttle pod in an hour's time, Commander, so I shall have to excuse myself-"
"You won't have to excuse yourself, I am going to send an authorization to the head of security soon, we need every officer we have here, Holly," said Root solemnly, as blue sparks danced around a newly acquired cut on his forehead. Artemis picked himself up from the floor, groaning.
"Oops, sorry, mud boy," said Holly innocently as Artemis glared at her.
"The trip to Haven was already bad enough-"
"Oh, was it? I think I simply broke the flight records again, you know," said Holly, raising an eyebrow. Root groaned.
"Can you both stop bickering and concentrate on the task at hand!?" yelled Root.
"Yessir."
"I agree, Commander, if Captain Short here were the one that didn't push me on the floor first-"
"I didn't push you onto the floor, Fowl, you fell yourself!"
"No I didn't, I have more control over my actions-"
"JUST SHUT UP!!!" roared Root. Holly and Artemis glared daggers at each other and turned to Root. Root breathed heavily and Holly gulped. For the first time, she looked around. None of the officers were here except for Root, Foaly and herself.
"Where are the others?"
"Took you a long enough time to spot that, didn't it?" said Foaly grumpily. He was being the unappreciated genius again. "They're all injured, either being healed by the warlock medics or in the hospital." Holly swallowed. All the others had been fighting while she was being led to her least favourite mud boy's kitchen!
"I guess you think Fowl here can be of some help," said Holly.
"Actually, yes," admitted Foaly. "We need a brain like his to tackle this situation."
"What situation? Let me guess... Opal's back?" Artemis smirked. Foaly stared at him in an expression somewhere between awe and jealousy.
"Well... That's close enough, I suppose," grunted Foaly. "Opal's back with goblins and Softnoses. They're probably still being powered by those human batteries, left over ones we didn't get rid of." Artemis nodded.
"And?"
"And we've come to a conclusion- Opal wants to send Earth into a cross-species war," replied Foaly dramatically. It seemed to take effect. Holly gasped and Mulch almost blasted open his tunnel pants. Artemis simply raised his eyebrow.
"How do you know?" asked Holly.
"Well, her shuttle – I caught a glimpse – the material used to make it is very special. For one, it's heat resistant, two, the material maintains the pressure within the shuttle and three, when the Neutrinos were blasted up to maximum, the lasers couldn't penetrate the metal. Which means the shuttle can go anywhere it wants to, even in magma flares and in lava," explained Foaly, trying to act as the should-be-appreciated genius.
"Hmm... That means she can be anywhere she wants to be, be it right under our feet, next to the Earth's core or right under the earth's crust. It will be hard to get to her. Actually, it will be impossible to get to her, unless you give me at least a year, three tons of metal and wires and the required materials," said Artemis, glancing at Foaly.
"Hey! I'll take faster than that!" insisted Foaly.
"Yes, with about a thousand workers," Artemis pointed out. "Like Opal had. Opal had about a hundred goblins to help her, including Briar Cudgeon. I suspect she has been working on this invention for years."
"I have to say Fowl may be right there, even though he's still the mud brat he is," said Root, speaking up so suddenly Mulch really blasted open his pants and made a huge hole in his chair.
"Sorry, Julius," apologised Mulch. "You really scared me there, I mean surprised me. The clay at Arty's manor has a lot of air in it, you know."
"Phew this stinks," commented Holly. "Anyway, how are we supposed to find her? Apparently, it seems like she's blocked radars from detecting her, Foaly."
But Foaly wasn't listening. He was staring at the computer screen. All the colour seemed to be drained from his face. Artemis stood up and strode over to have a better look. He stopped mid-walk.
"What happened! Why are all of you stopping mid way?" complained Mulch and jumped off his broken seat. He of course did not know what was happening on the screen. But Root and Holly knew, and Root's cigar and once again stained his LEP suit.
"WHAT HAPPENED???" cried Mulch, feeling very frustrated.
"There's a mud person in Haven."
"Isn't that Arty?"
"It's a mud girl."
You could have heard a pin drop.
Okay look, I finally updated after like, erm, fifteen days? So you should be thankful... Anyways, obviously the mud girl is the little sprained-her-ankle mud girl, so it's quite obvious. The adventure begins. Soon. Now.
Review! I'll write seven days later okay? Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...