Scars – Chapter 19 (begins right after Gohan and Goku's argument, before
Gohan freaks out or goes to Videl's)
After his fight with Gohan, Goku was feeling decidedly awful. He trudged back towards his home long faced, and low spirited. The brawny warrior actually considered not going back, maybe it would be better if he left altogether? He hadn't realized it at the time, and he wasn't sure why he had been acting the way he had, but the things that he'd said to his son really were inconsiderate and careless. He rubbed his chest, which ached with the tension he felt, and the anxiety.
Goku pushed the door to his home open, feeling Gohan's energy erupt powerfully, far behind him along the path. He took a deep breath and schooled a calm expression onto his face.
"ChiChi... I had another fight with Gohan..." Goku offered when his wife stopped him in the doorway, demanding to know where her son was. "Well I think he did most of the arguing.. er... I don't want to talk about it. Is Goten finished his reading? I'll put him to bed." Goku gently brushed ChiChi effortlessly out of his way, as she was standing there in front of him in effort to get him to explain what had gone on between he and Gohan. He ignored her screeching at his back and made his way up the worn stairs of their small house to Goten's bedroom.
"Son? Are you finished your reading yet?" Goku asked, knocking lightly on the door and letting himself in.
Goten was on the bed, staring at his book, but he was paying much more attention to Gohan's energy, which was going crazy, in his opinion. It was rare that Gohan lost it or let any real power out nowadays, and Goten wanted to go see what it was all about. He could also feel this...this...ache. His chest hurt, like he couldn't breathe, his head throbbed with an anger and a lack of control that he was more frightened of than anything else. He turned his eyes to his father.
"Daddy something's wrong with Gohan..." he tried, closing his book and sitting up. Goten knew that Goku would come and sit beside him, they often chatted together before he went to bed. There was no way the young boy would be able to sleep unless his big brother relaxed, though.
"Yeah, me and he had another argument, I'm sorry Goten... are you all ready for bed?"
"No... I don't wanna go to sleep yet... Gohan's really, really mad... what if he hurts someone... or himself?"
Goku blinked slowly at Goten. "Gee Goten, I don't think he'd do that, your brother's got a really tight hold over his power, he's just letting some of it out to cool off. You know, like when you cry if you fall and hurt yourself? Then you feel better after. He will too, after he lets it out."
Goku sat on the bed, leaning his back against the wall and letting his legs stretch out over the side of the bed. Goten crawled into Goku's lap and frowned deeply at him, grabbing twin fistfuls of his father's gi top.
"No but it isn't like that! He's all mad and sad and its making my tummy hurt and my head. Make it stop." Goten glared worriedly into Goku's eyes, his face a serious frown. Goku blinked in surprise.
"Maybe you're concentrating on his ki too hard, just relax. Everything will be fine, don't worry. Do you want me to lay with you 'till you fall asleep?"
Goten nodded, shaking his head and scrunching his eyes in effort to push Gohan's anger away from him, it was making him feel really strange and not in control of himself. He crawled under his covers.
Goku laid down beside Goten, over the covers. He put one large, warm arm around his son and smiled at him, rustling his hair. "You've grown since I've known you, you're gonna be a handsome young man when you grow up Goten, you know that? I bet your mom will be really excited for some grandchildren... heh. She always is. So did you have fun at the lake with me today?"
Goten nodded quietly and did not meet his father's eyes. He closed his own eyes and hid his face in Goku's warm chest, listening to the low rumble he could feel and hear when his father laughed.
Goten could feel his big brother's fury pounding in his head relentlessly. His stomach knotted and twisted and bubbled, butterflies bouncing around inside of it and making him almost nauseous. He breathed as slowly as he could, but his breaths were more and more shallow as he inadvertently concentrated on the awful sense of rage. He opened his eyes and realized where he was when he felt Goku rubbing his shoulder, trying to snap him out of it.
"Son what's wrong? Why are you crying, Goten?" Worry filled Goku's big black eyes as he shook the boy carefully with his large palm. When Goten's eyes turned to meet his, he locked onto them apprehensively.
Goten blinked at his dad through the tears he hadn't known were there. "I'm so... its... *sniffle* Gohan... I can't help it Dad. How do I make it stop?" Goten pushed away from Goku, sitting up and rubbing his eyes fervently. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stop the tight anxiety that was making it impossible to breathe or stop crying.
Goku stared at Goten, starting to realize that this wasn't just him feeling his brother's energy and being upset that Gohan was upset. But then what was it? Goku put a hand on Goten's shoulder, sliding it around his as he also returned to a sitting position. He rubbed his son's heaving back in effort to calm him. "Goten what do you feel... what's making you so upset? Gohan will be ok, I can feel his energy, he's fine."
"Lonely Daddy... Big brother's lonely... and hurting. And other things I don't know words for... bad stuff... why does he hurt so much? He's mad... but more sad than mad. Make it stop! STOP IT!" Goten's power began to rise, and Goku frowned, trying to think of something to do. He wasn't terribly good with solving problems that couldn't be fought out, or figured out by someone smarter than him. But ChiChi would just flip out if he went and got her. He took another deep breath, hoping that if he at least remained calm, then maybe that might help Goten be calm too. He kept rubbing Goten's back and pulled him into his lap, hugging him close and rocking slowly.
"Goten... you can feel Gohan's feelings?"
"Yeah... they SUCK! They're bad feelings... hurting ones... Please make them stop... please..."
Gou kept a tight grip on Goten, whose power leveled off and did not rise very much more. "Ok.. uhm... I haven't heard of that happening before... I think you must be focusing on him too much... focus on me instead... can you feel my feelings too? I'm worried about you Goten... I want you to be ok... and I love you and Gohan and ChiChi very much... can you try to focus on that son? You're strong... I'm sure you can..."
Goten hadn't thought of where he was focusing, he was just feeling his brother's feelings. He held Goku's gi in his fist and tried to feel things from his father instead, but still Gohan's pain and fear and everything else pounded through him violently. His father's emotions were weak at the moment, in comparison to the huge rush of them coming from Gohan.
However, Gohan's feelings began to even out, to become a steady pulse of awful things instead of a huge, throbbing mass of them. They ceased to assault Goten's mind and heart, and his breathing turned tired, as he recovered from the onslaught of his brother's sudden outburst.
It was at this point that Goten could feel a quieter, calmer pulse of things, and they were definitely not coming from Gohan. They surrounded him with their closeness... this was his father's love for him. Goten shivered as his body released the anxiety that was preventing him from breathing normally, and his fists relaxed. He could feel everything that Goku had claimed would be there, and many more things as well. His father did love him... his father was gentle and kind and warm... he was powerful, protective, and dedicated to doing what he thought was right. Goten felt funny inside, and he hugged Goku tightly, as this wash of feeling overcame the awful pulse of hurt that Gohan sent.
"Daddy... its ok now... it worked... thank you..." Goten whispered tiredly. He shifted and hugged Gou tightly around the neck, placing a kiss on his cheek and crawling into his bed. Goten's eyes fell shut and he was asleep quickly, with Goku looking puzzled down on him.
"Gee Goten... that's really something you've got there... how'd you do that? Well... sleep tight son." Goku crawled off of the bed, looking closely at Goten to make sure he was indeed asleep. He closed the door over and dazedly went down the stairs to where ChiChi was glowering at the television and pinning a new gi together for Goten, who went though clothes constantly.
"Hey, ChiChi?" Goku said, sliding onto the couch beside her.
"Goku I'm busy...where's Gohan? What did you say to him?"
Goku felt for Gohan's energy. He twitched when he felt it suddenly drop to unconsciousness at the moment he felt for it. Reaching further, he could feel a twinge in a familiar human ki that he knew to belong to Videl. Goku relaxed, vowing to keep a close watch on Gohan's power. It wouldn't be the first time he'd lost consciousness after freaking out.
"Don't worry about that... ChiChi I think Goten is... uhm... I'm not sure there's a word for this...when I was putting him to sleep, he said he could feel Gohan's feelings."
ChiChi raised a skeptical brow at Goku. "Goku maybe if you hadn't been dead, you would have been around to realize that he says things like that all the time. One time when he was only five I was carrying the groceries home and Gohan was babysitting him for me. I slipped and broke my ankle, and only a minute later Gohan appeared to help me home. When I asked him how he knew what was going on, he said that Goten had been screaming about me and throwing a fit. He was sleeping in the middle of the living room floor when Gohan brought me back... guess it tired him out.
"You mean... he has always been like that?"
"Yes, Goku. As long as I can remember. I thought it was going away... I guess he just isn't telling anybody anymore. I think it's a form of empathy. An empath is somebody who senses things from other people's minds or hearts. That's what Goten does."
"Well that's...that's... I don't even know what that is... it could be good and bad I guess..."
"Its most definitely not a good thing Goku! Think how awful Goten will feel if something really bad happens! What if you die again, and he feels all of my and Gohan's pain as well as his own... it would drive him crazy! I really thought it had gone away... that he'd grown out of it. We should do something about this."
Goku gave ChiChi a confused look. "What could we do? We're not even sure exactly what it is, or how it works."
"Well first of all, we should get it out in the open. Maybe if Goten doesn't feel so weird about being the only one who has this extra sense, then he won't be uncomfortable with it. And after that, I want you to train him to control it, so things don't overwhelm him and frighten or hurt him."
"But...but ChiChi... why didn't you ever train him to control it then?"
"I don't have time! I have enough on my hands trying to feed you three, and keep you from running around naked and filthy! Besides, I'm going to be teaching Gohan how to cook shortly. He's got to live on his own eventually you know."
"Live on his own? Already? But he's only....wait... I was dead for seven years... oh. Wow... time really flies when you're not around... I wish I could have seen him grow up... Now he hates me."
"Oh he does not, don't be silly Goku. Alright, I want you to train Goten to get control over this sense of his, and I will help Gohan get prepared to leave home."
"You mean he's leaving right away?"
"Yes... since you've been back, Gohan's temperament has been awful, he's been short-tempered and rude, and generally unhappy. I guess he's too old for us to tell him what to do any longer Goku."
Goku frowned, not sure he was ready to go along with all of this. "OK ChiChi...I guess you know what's best for them."
"Of course I do. Oh, and I made Gohan an appointment to get his eyes checked tomorrow."
"Why? There's nothing wrong with him..."
"Well he's been getting headaches, he told me. And when Trunks was here, he said that might be related to a small vision problem. I think its best to keep everything covered. If it isn't that, maybe he's too stressed out over something or other. You just can't be too careful, Goku. There won't always be dragonballs around to wish all of our problems away."
"Ok Chi. Wow... all this talking is making me tired... you want to go to bed now? We can leave a light on for Gohan... he needs time to cool off." Goku wrapped an arm around ChiChi, wanting to do pretty much anything but talk about boring future plans for their kids. He was happy with the way things were. Well, not completely, but he didn't really want things to change.
ChiChi put her work down and gave Goku a smile and a short kiss. "Well you'll need your strength, for tomorrow... we had better get a little rest."
Goku grinned happily and scooped ChiChi easily into his arms, kissing her again and transporting her up the stairs to the bedroom. On the way, he went into Gohan's room, turned on his bedside light, and opened his window so he could easily fly in. As he passed Goten's room, he peered in, kissing his wife's throat when he saw that Goten was asleep peacefully, and appeared to be fine now. He closed Goten's door over and pushed the Master Bedroom door open with one foot, using the same foot to close the door behind them both. Goku kicked his boots off and set ChiChi on the bed.
He removed the rest of his clothes, crawling over top of his wife and lavishing her pale flesh with careful, loving kisses. Goku undid her hair and raked his thick fingers through the silky black strands, lacing his fingers together with ChiChi's as he pulled her undergarments off and pushed her legs apart.
Afterwards, the sturdy man relaxed against ChiChi and closed his eyes, pulling a sheet over them both and relaxing into sleep.
ChiChi lay awake for only a few more minutes, looking up at the ceiling and catching her breath while she reveled in the feel of her husband breathing deeply and calmly in sleep at her side, his thick arm holding her safely against him.
After his fight with Gohan, Goku was feeling decidedly awful. He trudged back towards his home long faced, and low spirited. The brawny warrior actually considered not going back, maybe it would be better if he left altogether? He hadn't realized it at the time, and he wasn't sure why he had been acting the way he had, but the things that he'd said to his son really were inconsiderate and careless. He rubbed his chest, which ached with the tension he felt, and the anxiety.
Goku pushed the door to his home open, feeling Gohan's energy erupt powerfully, far behind him along the path. He took a deep breath and schooled a calm expression onto his face.
"ChiChi... I had another fight with Gohan..." Goku offered when his wife stopped him in the doorway, demanding to know where her son was. "Well I think he did most of the arguing.. er... I don't want to talk about it. Is Goten finished his reading? I'll put him to bed." Goku gently brushed ChiChi effortlessly out of his way, as she was standing there in front of him in effort to get him to explain what had gone on between he and Gohan. He ignored her screeching at his back and made his way up the worn stairs of their small house to Goten's bedroom.
"Son? Are you finished your reading yet?" Goku asked, knocking lightly on the door and letting himself in.
Goten was on the bed, staring at his book, but he was paying much more attention to Gohan's energy, which was going crazy, in his opinion. It was rare that Gohan lost it or let any real power out nowadays, and Goten wanted to go see what it was all about. He could also feel this...this...ache. His chest hurt, like he couldn't breathe, his head throbbed with an anger and a lack of control that he was more frightened of than anything else. He turned his eyes to his father.
"Daddy something's wrong with Gohan..." he tried, closing his book and sitting up. Goten knew that Goku would come and sit beside him, they often chatted together before he went to bed. There was no way the young boy would be able to sleep unless his big brother relaxed, though.
"Yeah, me and he had another argument, I'm sorry Goten... are you all ready for bed?"
"No... I don't wanna go to sleep yet... Gohan's really, really mad... what if he hurts someone... or himself?"
Goku blinked slowly at Goten. "Gee Goten, I don't think he'd do that, your brother's got a really tight hold over his power, he's just letting some of it out to cool off. You know, like when you cry if you fall and hurt yourself? Then you feel better after. He will too, after he lets it out."
Goku sat on the bed, leaning his back against the wall and letting his legs stretch out over the side of the bed. Goten crawled into Goku's lap and frowned deeply at him, grabbing twin fistfuls of his father's gi top.
"No but it isn't like that! He's all mad and sad and its making my tummy hurt and my head. Make it stop." Goten glared worriedly into Goku's eyes, his face a serious frown. Goku blinked in surprise.
"Maybe you're concentrating on his ki too hard, just relax. Everything will be fine, don't worry. Do you want me to lay with you 'till you fall asleep?"
Goten nodded, shaking his head and scrunching his eyes in effort to push Gohan's anger away from him, it was making him feel really strange and not in control of himself. He crawled under his covers.
Goku laid down beside Goten, over the covers. He put one large, warm arm around his son and smiled at him, rustling his hair. "You've grown since I've known you, you're gonna be a handsome young man when you grow up Goten, you know that? I bet your mom will be really excited for some grandchildren... heh. She always is. So did you have fun at the lake with me today?"
Goten nodded quietly and did not meet his father's eyes. He closed his own eyes and hid his face in Goku's warm chest, listening to the low rumble he could feel and hear when his father laughed.
Goten could feel his big brother's fury pounding in his head relentlessly. His stomach knotted and twisted and bubbled, butterflies bouncing around inside of it and making him almost nauseous. He breathed as slowly as he could, but his breaths were more and more shallow as he inadvertently concentrated on the awful sense of rage. He opened his eyes and realized where he was when he felt Goku rubbing his shoulder, trying to snap him out of it.
"Son what's wrong? Why are you crying, Goten?" Worry filled Goku's big black eyes as he shook the boy carefully with his large palm. When Goten's eyes turned to meet his, he locked onto them apprehensively.
Goten blinked at his dad through the tears he hadn't known were there. "I'm so... its... *sniffle* Gohan... I can't help it Dad. How do I make it stop?" Goten pushed away from Goku, sitting up and rubbing his eyes fervently. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stop the tight anxiety that was making it impossible to breathe or stop crying.
Goku stared at Goten, starting to realize that this wasn't just him feeling his brother's energy and being upset that Gohan was upset. But then what was it? Goku put a hand on Goten's shoulder, sliding it around his as he also returned to a sitting position. He rubbed his son's heaving back in effort to calm him. "Goten what do you feel... what's making you so upset? Gohan will be ok, I can feel his energy, he's fine."
"Lonely Daddy... Big brother's lonely... and hurting. And other things I don't know words for... bad stuff... why does he hurt so much? He's mad... but more sad than mad. Make it stop! STOP IT!" Goten's power began to rise, and Goku frowned, trying to think of something to do. He wasn't terribly good with solving problems that couldn't be fought out, or figured out by someone smarter than him. But ChiChi would just flip out if he went and got her. He took another deep breath, hoping that if he at least remained calm, then maybe that might help Goten be calm too. He kept rubbing Goten's back and pulled him into his lap, hugging him close and rocking slowly.
"Goten... you can feel Gohan's feelings?"
"Yeah... they SUCK! They're bad feelings... hurting ones... Please make them stop... please..."
Gou kept a tight grip on Goten, whose power leveled off and did not rise very much more. "Ok.. uhm... I haven't heard of that happening before... I think you must be focusing on him too much... focus on me instead... can you feel my feelings too? I'm worried about you Goten... I want you to be ok... and I love you and Gohan and ChiChi very much... can you try to focus on that son? You're strong... I'm sure you can..."
Goten hadn't thought of where he was focusing, he was just feeling his brother's feelings. He held Goku's gi in his fist and tried to feel things from his father instead, but still Gohan's pain and fear and everything else pounded through him violently. His father's emotions were weak at the moment, in comparison to the huge rush of them coming from Gohan.
However, Gohan's feelings began to even out, to become a steady pulse of awful things instead of a huge, throbbing mass of them. They ceased to assault Goten's mind and heart, and his breathing turned tired, as he recovered from the onslaught of his brother's sudden outburst.
It was at this point that Goten could feel a quieter, calmer pulse of things, and they were definitely not coming from Gohan. They surrounded him with their closeness... this was his father's love for him. Goten shivered as his body released the anxiety that was preventing him from breathing normally, and his fists relaxed. He could feel everything that Goku had claimed would be there, and many more things as well. His father did love him... his father was gentle and kind and warm... he was powerful, protective, and dedicated to doing what he thought was right. Goten felt funny inside, and he hugged Goku tightly, as this wash of feeling overcame the awful pulse of hurt that Gohan sent.
"Daddy... its ok now... it worked... thank you..." Goten whispered tiredly. He shifted and hugged Gou tightly around the neck, placing a kiss on his cheek and crawling into his bed. Goten's eyes fell shut and he was asleep quickly, with Goku looking puzzled down on him.
"Gee Goten... that's really something you've got there... how'd you do that? Well... sleep tight son." Goku crawled off of the bed, looking closely at Goten to make sure he was indeed asleep. He closed the door over and dazedly went down the stairs to where ChiChi was glowering at the television and pinning a new gi together for Goten, who went though clothes constantly.
"Hey, ChiChi?" Goku said, sliding onto the couch beside her.
"Goku I'm busy...where's Gohan? What did you say to him?"
Goku felt for Gohan's energy. He twitched when he felt it suddenly drop to unconsciousness at the moment he felt for it. Reaching further, he could feel a twinge in a familiar human ki that he knew to belong to Videl. Goku relaxed, vowing to keep a close watch on Gohan's power. It wouldn't be the first time he'd lost consciousness after freaking out.
"Don't worry about that... ChiChi I think Goten is... uhm... I'm not sure there's a word for this...when I was putting him to sleep, he said he could feel Gohan's feelings."
ChiChi raised a skeptical brow at Goku. "Goku maybe if you hadn't been dead, you would have been around to realize that he says things like that all the time. One time when he was only five I was carrying the groceries home and Gohan was babysitting him for me. I slipped and broke my ankle, and only a minute later Gohan appeared to help me home. When I asked him how he knew what was going on, he said that Goten had been screaming about me and throwing a fit. He was sleeping in the middle of the living room floor when Gohan brought me back... guess it tired him out.
"You mean... he has always been like that?"
"Yes, Goku. As long as I can remember. I thought it was going away... I guess he just isn't telling anybody anymore. I think it's a form of empathy. An empath is somebody who senses things from other people's minds or hearts. That's what Goten does."
"Well that's...that's... I don't even know what that is... it could be good and bad I guess..."
"Its most definitely not a good thing Goku! Think how awful Goten will feel if something really bad happens! What if you die again, and he feels all of my and Gohan's pain as well as his own... it would drive him crazy! I really thought it had gone away... that he'd grown out of it. We should do something about this."
Goku gave ChiChi a confused look. "What could we do? We're not even sure exactly what it is, or how it works."
"Well first of all, we should get it out in the open. Maybe if Goten doesn't feel so weird about being the only one who has this extra sense, then he won't be uncomfortable with it. And after that, I want you to train him to control it, so things don't overwhelm him and frighten or hurt him."
"But...but ChiChi... why didn't you ever train him to control it then?"
"I don't have time! I have enough on my hands trying to feed you three, and keep you from running around naked and filthy! Besides, I'm going to be teaching Gohan how to cook shortly. He's got to live on his own eventually you know."
"Live on his own? Already? But he's only....wait... I was dead for seven years... oh. Wow... time really flies when you're not around... I wish I could have seen him grow up... Now he hates me."
"Oh he does not, don't be silly Goku. Alright, I want you to train Goten to get control over this sense of his, and I will help Gohan get prepared to leave home."
"You mean he's leaving right away?"
"Yes... since you've been back, Gohan's temperament has been awful, he's been short-tempered and rude, and generally unhappy. I guess he's too old for us to tell him what to do any longer Goku."
Goku frowned, not sure he was ready to go along with all of this. "OK ChiChi...I guess you know what's best for them."
"Of course I do. Oh, and I made Gohan an appointment to get his eyes checked tomorrow."
"Why? There's nothing wrong with him..."
"Well he's been getting headaches, he told me. And when Trunks was here, he said that might be related to a small vision problem. I think its best to keep everything covered. If it isn't that, maybe he's too stressed out over something or other. You just can't be too careful, Goku. There won't always be dragonballs around to wish all of our problems away."
"Ok Chi. Wow... all this talking is making me tired... you want to go to bed now? We can leave a light on for Gohan... he needs time to cool off." Goku wrapped an arm around ChiChi, wanting to do pretty much anything but talk about boring future plans for their kids. He was happy with the way things were. Well, not completely, but he didn't really want things to change.
ChiChi put her work down and gave Goku a smile and a short kiss. "Well you'll need your strength, for tomorrow... we had better get a little rest."
Goku grinned happily and scooped ChiChi easily into his arms, kissing her again and transporting her up the stairs to the bedroom. On the way, he went into Gohan's room, turned on his bedside light, and opened his window so he could easily fly in. As he passed Goten's room, he peered in, kissing his wife's throat when he saw that Goten was asleep peacefully, and appeared to be fine now. He closed Goten's door over and pushed the Master Bedroom door open with one foot, using the same foot to close the door behind them both. Goku kicked his boots off and set ChiChi on the bed.
He removed the rest of his clothes, crawling over top of his wife and lavishing her pale flesh with careful, loving kisses. Goku undid her hair and raked his thick fingers through the silky black strands, lacing his fingers together with ChiChi's as he pulled her undergarments off and pushed her legs apart.
Afterwards, the sturdy man relaxed against ChiChi and closed his eyes, pulling a sheet over them both and relaxing into sleep.
ChiChi lay awake for only a few more minutes, looking up at the ceiling and catching her breath while she reveled in the feel of her husband breathing deeply and calmly in sleep at her side, his thick arm holding her safely against him.