Have you ever wondered what the average Raccoon does on an average day in the not so "average" Killingsworth household? Well… THIS RACCOON GOES THROUGH HOURS OF VIGOROUS ABUSE, X- RATED MATERIAL, and lest we forget… grapes. So let's take one small step for mankind! Into a day in the life of Wally.
Wally woke from his place on the worn, wool mat. Looking up to the sun bathed window panes, his eyes filled with joy, freedom and hope. Then realizing his wherabouts, he groaned. With a heavy sigh, he pulled himself off of the mat, ready for another day in the life of Wally. Scrambling down the hall, he watched as a leopard pantleg emerged from the room.
Oh no. He watched as the girl stepped out and closed the bedroom door behind her. He shuddered. Maybe if he stayed very still… But as always, it never worked.
"WALLY!" The girl cooed, her evil dark eyes descending down on him. Before he could scramble away, she scooped him up into her arms and commenced to smother him in lip gloss.
"Foolish human", he muttered, his eyes narrowing. However, it was in his native tongue and she took it to be, "Feed me grapes until I burst", so that was exactly what she did. About five minutes later, she finally stuffed the last grape in.
"Damn! We ran out"
He sighed in relief.
"But I'll ask Collin to pick up more on the way home from school!"
His eyes widened with the thought of more grapes.
"No! No!"
"I know you want more!"
"No!"
"Wally!" She scolded him.
"Relax", Collin laughed as he walked into the kitchen, surf board in hand. "This'll shut him up".
And before Wally could say a word, Collin stuffed a rotten apple in his mouth.
"Mmmmmph! Mmmmmph!" Wally protested, but his desperate cries were unheard as he watched them stroll out of the front door and into Collin's car.