Thwack

"Aiiieee", Wally screamed as a surf board went smack upside his head. He looked up from his slumber to see Collin's angry face.

"What's going on here?" He followed the human's stare to a more than half- naked Serena and Stanton, now somewhere between lying in the sink and on top of the microwave.

"How many times have I told you?! Don't fuck in the kitchen!"

"Yeah!" Wally agreed, but before he could say another word, Collin stuffed an apple into his mouth.

"You made this mess?" Collin asked.

Serena sighed, her face a scarlet red. "It was-"

"Wally", the boy interrupted.

Wally's ears perked up. He say what?

"It was Wally", the boy repeated, before looking down to smirk at the raccoon.

"Oh, no you didn't!" Wally snapped his fingers.

"No, Wally". Collin responded to an unasked question. "No grapes for you"

"Thank God", Wally said a prayer to the heavens above.

"I said no grapes!" Collin roared. "Is this true, Serena?"

Serena just shrugged, whistled, and looked the other way.

"That's it, Wally" Collin reached for him. "You're going in the cage"

"Oh no! Anything but the cage!"

"I said NO GRAPES!"

Wally bit him and sprinted for the kitchen door. He ran through the boy's legs, who tripped and fell into the stove.

"AUG!"

"Heheheheh", Wally chuckled at his shrill cries. His eyes lit as he reached the front door. Finally, he would be free. Jumping through the dog door, he ran out into the night. He sighed as the autumn breeze caressed his fur. Now he could truly paint with all the colors of the wind.

"Wally"

His eyes widened.

"What are you doing outside?"

He started to cry as the black- haired one with the teardrop tattoo picked him up.

"He looks so sad", the Goddess- like, sunshine- haired one exclaimed. He flinched as the one with the long, dark hair and diamond belly ring, massaged his fur.

"Put me down!" He scolded them.

"Grapes!" They all beamed together and walked towards the house. He groaned. What was wrong with these humans? Was that their solution for everything?

"What are you doing here, Stanton?" Bellyring asked.

Stanton stepped out of the house, a towel wrapped over his bare ass. The towel hiked up for a second and Wally could see the mark where the stove had burnt him.

"I was just leaving". He turned to Wally. "Shouldn't you be in the cage?"

Wally glared at him.

"Why would he be in the cage?" Teardrop challenged.

"Oh, Wally's been a very bad raccoon"

"Wally", exclaimed Sunshine. "How COULD you?!"

"You were probably just trippin". Teardrop defended him. Wally watched as they exchanged silent threats. He layed back against her bosom. Any enemy of Stanton's was a friend of his.

"Wally!" Collin roared. When he found him, he grabbed him by the tail and tossed him in a cage in his room. Wally sighed as he watched the television.

"YOU'RE WATCHING THE SURF CHANNEL, DUUUUUUUUUDES! ALL SURFIIIIING! ALL THE FRICKEN TIIIIIIME!"

After a few minutes, Wally began to doze off into a land of happiness, bliss, and most importantly, no love- making rendezvous with Stanton in the kitchen. He was just beginning to get to second base with Meeko when:

Thump

He was abruptly awoken from his slumber.

"Where is it?" A girl's voice asked.

"Don't ask me, Cassandra", a sarcastic voice of a boy, traveled throughout the room. "This was your idea".

"And it's perfect!" She crooned. "Once I kidnap Serena's pet raccoon, Stanton will have no choice but to succumb to me"

"Cassandra?"

"Yes?"

"That's just stupid"

"Yeah!" Wally agreed. Serena didn't care nearly enough about him to give up that male whore that had destroyed the kitchen earlier.

"I think it wants some grapes"

Wally groaned.

"Did you bring the stash?"

"Yep!" Cassandra pulled a bag of grapes out of her purse. Green as always. He grimaced as the boy stuffed them down his throat.

"Stanton won't care, you know? He's hated that thing ever since it peed on his cape".

That was his? Wally thought. He thought it was just an ugly Halloween costume. He chuckled, glad that he had caused the man trouble.

"Did you hear that? It's crying! Maybe we shouldn't take it".

Wally's eyes widened. Were they kidding? No place could be worse than here. He wanted to leave as soon as possible and if this was his ticket then so be it. "Take me!" He begged.

"He's so SAD!"

"TAKE ME DAMMIT!"

"Nonsense, Tymmie!" Cassandra argued. "You're such a softie. Now do you want your money or not?"

"I guess". The boy shrugged, tore open the cage, and took the raccoon in his arms. Wally whooped and did a happy dance. Unfortunately for him, he slipped and tumbled into the door.

"Owiiiie" He moaned. Then, out of the blue, Serena rushed into the room with not a moment to lose and held out her moon amulet. "Cassandra! Tymmie! What are you doing here?"

"Later, babe", Tymmie said hurriedly and dashed out of the room.

"TYMMIE GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE OR I'LL-" The door slammed leaving her all alone. "Well… ah… I'm here for the raccoon"

"Well you can't have him"

"NO!" Wally wailed.

"Don't worry, Wally. I won't let her take you".

"But I wanna go!"

"Grapes. Grapes. Grapes. Is that all you ever think about?" And with that she began to chant, her magic building with ever second.

"DAMN WITCH!" Wally cursed.

"NO GRAPES!" She responded idiotically.

He watched as Serena sent Cassandra sailing across the room and finally the girl fell unconscious to the floor. He sighed desolately when she tossed her out of the two story window and turned on him. She smiled and wrapped him in a bear hug.

"Oh, Wally. I'll love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever…

"… and ever and ever".

He sighed in relief.

"And a day"

The bell rung downstairs and he winced. Who could possibly be up this early on a Wednesday? He watched in sheer terror as Stanton ascended the stairs with a suitcase.

"Good morning, my love"

"Hey, baby"

Wally gagged.

"I need to move in for a couple of weeks. I'm having some problems in Nefandus"

"NOOOO!" Wally wailed only to have a grape stuffed in his mouth.

"Of course! You can sleep in Wally's room!"

Wally was crying now.

"See how happy he is?!"

Wally glared at her.

"Oh", Stanton sat his luggage down and plopped down on the bed. Running his hands over Wally's fur, he smirked evilly. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine".

Wally groaned and he knew that itwas time for himto prepare for yetanother day in the life of Wally.