NOTE: With Christmas just a few days away like many others I couldnt help but get in the Christmas spirit. This is my answer to it.
DATE: Dec 23, 2003
YES VICTORIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUSE
A Pay Per View had been sprug on the WWE by the Grinch like Vince McMahon at the last possible moment on Christmas. It was yet another attept to steal the money from the pockets of your everyday joe. The Pay Per View was of corse for both brands since it was on Christmas, yup they sure were shit out of luck. Back stage most wrestlers were upset that they had to be away from there familys for the holidays, others like Goldberg were upset since they had to take part in this Christmas special Pay Per View for only $50.00 because he was Jewish.
"I hate being here. Im Jewish!" An Angry Goldberg complained for the millionth time.
"Then go back to Jew land jackass!" Said the always politically correct Chris Jericho with a smug smile on his face while siping back on a cup of coffee. Goldberg was about to punch Jericho but then just sighed and went to sit down somewhere, already defeated, not by Jericho but by Christmas. Despite the fact that everyone were away from there familys at Chrismas the mood was cheerful, it was still Christmas afterall. A Christmas Tree had been set up with many boxes under it.... all empty but still wrapped none the less, endless Christmas specials were being palyed on the TV, and Misletoe hung over every doorway, which Mark Jindrack and Garrison Cade were taking full advantage of. Meanwhile despite all of the holiday cheer there was one face in the room that wasnt smiling. Victoria was sitting on the couch all alone, the hell with mingleing, This time of year always brought back horrible memories for her. Seeing that she was upset and knowing that no one should ever be sad at this time of year, Shannon Moore made his way over to Victoria and sat next to her.
"Something wrong Victoria?" The small crusierweight asked. Victoria sighed.
"Yeah, its Christmas." Victoria said sighing.
"You have a problem with Christmas? But everyone loves Christmas." Shannon said with a smile.
"I DONT!!!!" Goldberg yelled from across the room. Shannon just rolled his eyes at the over hyped wrestler and looked back at Victoria.
"Why do you hate Christmas?" He asked.
"Because of Santa Clause." Victoria said bitterly. Shannon smiled again.
"Why dont you like Santa? Did he bring you the wrong present last year or something?"
"No I hate Santa because hes a big fake! The whole thing is a scam!" Victoria declared bringing the room to silence, as everyone in the locker room directed there attention to Victoria.
"You dont believe in Santa?" Rob Van Damm asked. Victoria shook her head.
"Why not? Even I believe in Santa." Kane said almost insulted that Victoria would claim that the legendary Santa Clause wasnt real.
"Because..." Victoria said simply, not wanting to give the answer.
"If your gonna suggest Santa aint real then I wanna know know why!" yelled an irate Brock Lesnar, who although he may of recived lumps of coal 17 consecutive years now he still believed in the man in red.
"Fine then I'll tell you." Victoria said. She stared forwad and sighed. She had hoped this memory would just go away but every Christmas it kept coming back.
"Were waiting..." Triple H said. It was bad enough that everyone had stopped talking about or to him for a few minutes so he wanted to get this out of the way as soon as possible. Granted though as much as he wanted the conversation to be on how great he was, he too was disturbed that Victoria didnt believe in Santa, 'What kind of monster dosent believe in Santa?' Triple H thought looking towards Kane who moments ago delcared his belif in the other man in red.
"Well It happened when I was 7...." Victoria said, then stopped. Why couldnt this be like a televison show and go into a flashback.
"You stopped beliving in Santa Clause when you were 7!?" The never-was Orlando Jordan asked in shock.
"What a Black Christmas..." Theodore Long added, causing many of the wrestlers in the locker room to sigh.
"Shut up and let da girl talk." Tazz said in his thick Brooklyn accent. Once more there was a hush over the locker room, singaling it was time for Victoria to go on again.
"Ok, like I said it happened when I was 7. Just like everyone else in this locker room I belived that Santa was real, but then I discovered how wrong I was."
"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Christian yelled biting his nails in antisapation. "Why dont you shut up so she can tell us!" Lita shot at Christian. Christian, being as mature as he was just made a face and stuck his tounge out at her.
"Why dont you shut up so she can tell us..." Christian said mocking Lita in a horribly raspy voice.
"Hey I dont sound like that!" Lita yelled pushing Christian, In turn Christian pushed her back, then Lita once more push Christian only to have the favor returned again.
"Alright thats enough you two, your not little kids anymore." Shawn Michaels said.
"We she started it!" Christian said in a whinny mannor.
"Would you all just shup up so she can get on with the story!" The Undertaker said, causing Christian to shut his big yap again. The Undertaker nodded towards Victoria to go on.
"Ok, well I was playing with my barbie doll in the living room, you know taking its clothes off and ripping its head off and such, when all of a sudden I heard footsteps on the roof. Then what did I see? From the Chimney Santa Clause appeared! I was so excited! I jumped up and ran over to him. He returned the genuine love I was showing him as he opened up his big bag of toys and gave me the entire contents of the bag talking about what a good girl I had been that year, and it was true, I was espically good that year. Anyways I begged Santa to stay a little long and he did. I opened all of the presents but still didnt get what I wanted. A Ragaddy Ann Doll, but at the moment it didnt matter. After a while I collapsed, you know being so tired out from all the excitement and all. Thats when I heard it.... I woke up in my own bed and there was the sound of squeeking in the next room. Like any little kid I was courious about what it could be. I left my room and opened the door to my parents room, and what did I see... I saw Mommy and Santa doing...... IT! As if that wasnt bad enough I saw a white beard hanging from the celing fan, that wasnt Santa.... That was my father the entire time! I quickly put one and one together. My father pretended to be Santa Clause, proving that the man from the north pole is nothing but a fake!" Victoria said gritting her teeth. She looked around the locker room to see the same shocked look on everyones faces.
"You saw your parents having sex on Christmas eve?!" Tommy Dreamer said in disgust. Victoria nodded.
"That day left me tramatized, but at least I left it knowing the truth, and the truth is Santa Clause ISNT REAL!!!" Victoria yelled.
"Yeah that and you found out that your parents do it!" Christian said mocking her.
"What are you laughing at Christian our parents did it all the time." Edge said with a raised eyebrow, Christian instantly stuck his fingers in his ears.
"NO THEY DIDNT! THEY ONLY DID IT TWICE!!! ONCE TO MAKE YOU AND ONCE MORE FOR ME!!!! After I was born they knew that they had found perfection and didnt need any more kids.... they would of stopped after you Edge... but you know... you were such a huge disappointment and ugly baby and all...." Christian said.
"Oh shut up you big idiot!" Edge yelled.
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!" Triple H yelled quieting the room. After a few seconds Shannon Moore spoke up again.
"You see where you were wrong Victoria, Santa is real, hes very real." Shannon said. If there was one thing that the entire locker room could agree on it was that.
"Oh yeah well prove to me how he is real!" Vctoria challanged. Everyone in the locker room exchanged the same looks to one another.
"Well Victoria, we cant prove that he isnt real." Mick Foley said sitting the other side of Victoria.
"Well I know hes not real." Victoria said, Foley sighed.
"Oh silly Victoria. Tell me, the day after that horrible night so long ago, didnt you have even more presents under the tree on Christmas?" Mick asked.
"Yeah.... so what?" Victoria said with her arms crossed. Foley continued to smile.
"Well those were from Santa. Didnt you get extra presents under your tree that no one could explain?" Mick asked.
"Well come to think of it....." Victoria said.
"Thats what I thought." Mick said.
"Well I didnt the last two years! I just got unexplained lumps of coal." Victoria said with a sigh.
"Thats because you havent been on your best behaviour the last two years now have you?" Mick asked. Victoria pouted.
"I guess I havent"
"Well it dosent matter, Santa always gives everyone at least one thing even if its a lump of coal. Now heres some advice, every single Santa that you see... there fake. You dont see the real Santa Clause, hes much to sneaky, and clever to be spotted. Thats how I knew the Santa in your story was a fake right from the get go, but your fathers heart was in the right place all the same. Plus Santa... well theres something about him. This time of year is filled with his influence, and thats why everyone is so nice to each other this time of year. All the good will towards everyone thats Santa doing that. Do you think that every other WWE Superstar would be in the same locker room at any other time of year? Oh yeah and Al Snow too."
"Hey!" Al shot at Mick who was still smiling from ear to ear now that he had gotten in his nightly dig at Al he could sleep easy.
"I guess that we wouldnt..." Victoria said ignoring Al cementing his Superstar status, or lack there of.
"Of corse they wouldnt Victoria. Its because of Santa that this is possible." Mick said
"Hes right." Shannon agreed. Everyone else in the room agreed as well. Santa was real and thats the only reason they could all stand each other on this night.
"Maybe....... just maybe your right. Maybe there is a Santa Clause..." Victoria said thoughtfully.
"Yes Victoria, there is a Santa Clause." Mick said. "Am I right folks?!" The entire locker room erupted with cheers and a Santa chant. Santa Clause was indeed real, and everyone in the locker room including even Victoria agreed on that, well everyone except for one person.
"I cant belive what a load of crap this holiday is!" Goldberg spat out. "Ba Hum Bug!"
THE END
And thats the end of my little Christmas Story. I know I liked it, but what do you think about it? Please review and tell me. :D
LaTerZ -T Bond (Who still feels screwed that his birthday is a mere five days after Christmas thus he gets squat on his Birthday.)