Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine. ((wails)) I know that already so please stop pointing out the obvious, okay? It's bitter enough as it is that the whole of 'Fushigi Yuugi' belongs to Watase Yuu-sensei and associates.

Note 1: A kind of birthday-present to Nakago-sama. Although it's one day late, it's still coming from the bottom of my heart. ((sweatdrops)) Now why does that sound...disturbing? I'm not that scary. ((pauses)) Most of the times at least.

Note 2: Yes, this fic is still alive. And I will finish it. ((glances back)) There are some people motivating me to stick with this. ((g)) The chains binding me to the chair will help some, too.

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Not Letting Go

by Hotaru Muraki

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Part 6: The Day After

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I was just stepping put of the shower when I heard a rather timid knock at the door, followed by an even more tentative "Kiryuu-sama...?". These nurses really had one hell of a timing. Fortunately, I had already finished what I had wanted to do. I was feeling more relaxed now, refreshed and energized, although I privately admitted that I did not feel quite ready to take on the world at large... yet. Anyway, first thing first. So...

"Yes?"

I could just hear the nurse gasping softly as she worked out the implications of where my voice had come from. Sigh. What was so strange about someone taking a shower? Especially when the day promised to be one of those hot, humid summer-days so frequent in this city. These nurses certainly were...annoying.

"Ano... Sumimasen, Kiryuu-sama, demo..." Her effort at regaining her professional composure made her sound strangled rather than competent. "...I just wanted to inform you that Naoku-sensei will be calling on you shortly." Then, in a breathier voice, "...is there anything I can help you with?"

Heaven's forbid! Onna, I'm not that desperate. Especially not now that I have found again the one I have been looking for all along. Thus my voice was rather glacial as I replied, "No.......thank you." I could barely keep the disgust out of my voice, only slightly comforted by the waves of disappointment I sensed coming through the door. A clatter of shoes and the sharp click of a closing door were the only things I heard.

After I had towelled myself dry as best I could, I put the pajamas back on. I would really have preferred fresh ones but... Oh well. In this, too, I would have to make do with what was at hand. Only for the time being, I silently vowed to myself. Yes, for the time being..... I could not help smirking as I made my way back to my bed, my mind already thinking, making plans on how to achieve my goals. If there is one thing I will never ever do, it is to let go of what is mine – no matter what.

As I settled back into the bed, I found that I could move more easily already. Hm... Had Seiryuu's powers awakened within me once more? But—why? How— Firmly squashing that thought for later perusal, I concentrated on my body. I closed my eyes, allowing my consciousness to slowly sink into myself. It was a rather...unusual feeling at first. Just imagine being able to 'see' your own body from the inside... Anyway, back on track. Yes... Ah, here, too. ...that is healed as well. ... Yes... Hn. ... The arm and shoulder will obviously take a bit longer to heal. However, that is but to be expected. I could heal it but how would I explain that miraculous recovery convincingly enough for the doctors to not get suspicious about it? Besides, even in these days and age, such a sudden convalescence would attract attention I could very well do without. That certainly was not the kind of attention I wanted. Ah well, at least all those bruises were gone. I absolutely hated having an itch I could not scratch.

My pondering the similarities of this and that 'other' situation I yet had to deal with was quite rudely interrupted by someone calling me – or, rather, calling the person I was at present. Sigh. Why now?

"...-riyuu-san....-lease.........-ke up..."

Ah, I knew that voice! Maybe it would really be better if I 'woke up' – before that doctor decided something was wrong and took possibly drastic countermeasures. But it was so comfortable right now.... Ah well. I sent my consciousness spiralling upwards again, my mind becoming clearer and more alert by the second. Soon I was resting behind closed eyelids.

I opened my eyes, refusing to blink at the bright sunlight assaulting my vision. "Yes?" The doctor, formerly known as Mitsukake, was slowly changing from a rather shapeless dark blob to the tall, distinguished form of the man I had encountered yesterday. At the same time, my surroundings came fully into focus. Judging from the light outside, it seemed to be somewhat late in the morning. Hm... My 'introspection' had taken longer than I had thought it would. Must be due to my lack of training. I would have to remedy that before—

".....I hope you have had a restful sleep."

I barely restrained myself from snorting. First of all, that would not be very dignified. And second... Second, define 'restful'! Really. What with those dreams and—-that.

"So how are you feeling today?"

Well, at least he didn't ask how 'we' were feeling. I despise that kind of mannerisms. It is not as if they were in any way entitled to use the pluralis majestatis. "Fine. Thank you for asking."

"Did you have any trouble with your injuries? Your arm?"

Sigh. Trust this doctor to come straight to the point. My arm was indeed the one thing still bothering me. However, a sudden 'miraculous' recovery would have raised questions I was unwilling to answer. So I had to endure this discomfort – for now. But as soon as I was out of here...

The healer leaned towards me, trying his best to appear non-threatening. (Quite a feat considering his height and bulk. Plus, in contrast to me, he managed it quite well. Maybe he simply was that way?) "I'm sorry but I will have to check on your left arm and shoulder. It's imperative that the strain does not stiffen your muscles." Using the electric lever at the left side of my bed, 'Naoku'-sensei brought the bed to a half-sitting position. "This might hurt a bit..."

And with that he gently prodded and probed my shoulder. Seiryuu, that hurt! I managed not to wince or show any other outward sign of pain. In fact, I barely even flinched. Such things had never been useful or working to my advantage before. And the miniscule flinch I failed to suppress was more due to the fact of him touching me than to show an expression of pain. I simply wasn't used to anyone touching me. Or, to be more precise, I...strongly disliked being touched. I always had. And now, with my memories completely restored, I knew why. It had always seemed so weird before...

After having finished 'hm'-ing and 'aha'-ing over my shoulder, the doctor straightened again. "The bruises and lacerations have healed quite well. So have the sprain and the concussion. As for your shoulder... It just needs a bit more rest and subsequent time for recuperation. A few more days here, just to be on the safe side." He scribbled something on his notepad. Anticipating my question, ex-Mitsukake continued, "If you absolutely insisted, you could be released tomorrow. That would, of course, be only under the condition that you agreed to come for a check-up next week at the latest." He actually grinned at my less-than-enthusiastic facial expression.

"...Thank you, sensei." From anyone else, I would have said that the check-up was just a ruse to get something from me. But not from this man. "That is very...kind of you." I did not think my sarcasm was that noticeable – yet – but the doctor's eyes twinkled in merriment. What was it that he found so entertaining? I wonder.

"Well, then..." 'Mitsukake' gestured towards my laptop. "...I will leave you to your breakfast and your work." And with that, the doctor turned around and left again.

Right. My work. Looking at my laptop, I decided to have breakfast first. Even though what was on the tray was not what I expected a breakfast to consist of, I knew, instinctively, that I would definitely need what little energy it could provide. My stomach chose this moment to growl in agreement. Hn. Treating my wounds must have exhausted my reserves of ki more than I thought. Again, a lack of training I planned to remedy as soon as possible. Or maybe this...appetite had more to do with the regaining of my memories and thus the reawakening of my powers. Whatever the reason, I was ravenous. And not only for food. However, since I was unable to satisfy that appetite at the moment, I had to settle for dealing with the immediate needs of nutrition for my body. For now.

Occasionally, I liked to take my time doing things so it took my about three quarters of an hour to finish off said breakfast. Then I exchanged the tray with my laptop. Sighing, I switched it on. Better to get the more pressing matters out of my way before concentrating on the really important things, hm? Smirking to myself, I called up the first of the files and set to work.

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A tentative knock interrupted my concentration, also effectively halting my work. Looking at the built-in clock of my laptop, I realized that I had been working non-stop for over three hours. Well, I needed a break anyway so... "Yes?"

The door opened, revealing an anxious Tomo.

Oh. Right. He had said something about intending to visit me again. I hoped he had brought the files I had requested yesterday. He better...

"Kiryuu-sama, konnichiwa." He bowed deeply. "How are you today?" Tomo straightened again, stepping closer to the side of my bed. Today he wore a suit of light grey, a dark-blue shirt and a tie modestly striped in black, red and white. Oddly enough, these colours complemented him more now than with the garish opera costume he had worn...before.

"Fine. Thank you." And then, for some reason unable or unwilling to resist the impulse, I added, "Shouyu-san has not been along, though." Let him make of that what he wanted. "So, Keshou-san, have you brought the files I requested earlier?"

To his credit, let it be said that this abrupt change of topic fazed him but for a second. Blinking, Tomo replied somewhat evenly with a simple, "Hai, Kiryuu-sama." With that, 'Tomo' put his briefcase on the table by the window, turning his back to me. Never a wise thing to do. Smirk. And while he opened it, rummaging around a little to gather the files, I was free to peruse his silhouette. Yes, Tomo was still as long-limbed and graceful as ever. In fact, he looked better now than...back then. Especially since he had also ditched those long, sharp nails he had always favoured. Now that I thought about it, I would have been tempted – almost. If I had not met grey amethysts again, that is. When Tomo turned around again, I quickly schooled my face back into the expression of indifference I seemed to use most of the time these days.

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Kiryuu-sama," Tomo apologized. "These are the files you requested. Information, general and background, and applications are at the beginning of each file. A recommendation of intended operational area for each trainee has been added at the end." He offered me the files, his face too carefully neutral to be really convincing. Something clearly bothered him.

I took the files from him, setting them on top of my laptop without even looking at them. Instead, I rested my gaze on Tomo. Yes, I have been told repeatedly that my not-quite-staring could be...disconcerting at best. "Is something the matter, Keshou-san?" My voice was smooth, cool as could be.

"Iie, Kiryuu-sama. Nan demonai." Tomo seemed embarrassed at being caught like that.

I just raised my eyebrow minutely, emphasizing my question without any actual words.

"Hontou ni," Tomo insisted. "Everything is alright."

When he caught the sceptical look I directed at him, Tomo flushed, a nice shade of pink suffusing his pale cheeks. I wondered somewhat absent-mindedly how my Tamahome would look blushing like that – and what it would take to actually accomplish such a feat.

Forcing my wandering thought back on track again, I continued to gaze at Tomo. After some moments, he caved in.

"Sumimasen, Kiryuu-sama." Tomo bowed deeply. "It is just that... Some of those trainees seem..." He shrugged helplessly, unable to explain where exactly his unease stemmed from.

Well, of course he couldn't. After all, he didn't remember, did he. And he would not. Not if I had any say about it. 'Keshou-san' suited my purposes far better than 'Tomo' right now. So my "Ah?" combined with raised eyebrows was intended to throw him off-track.

Judging from the embarrassed blush spreading across his features and Tomo's refusal to meet my eyes, I had succeeded. It wouldn't do, however, to fluster him too much, entertaining though that was. Such a thing might hinder his efficiency more than it would serve my needs. So...

"Your concern has been duly noted," I said wryly. "I will include it into the perusal of the files you brought. Rest assured than any...discrepancies will not go by unnoticed."

Tomo's face was a wonderful study of embarrassment mixed with relief. He didn't comment on it, just bowed deeply, again, murmuring, "Hai. Doumo arigatou gozaimasu. Kiryuu-sama, I—"

I gestured, the wave of my hand signalling him that I had no intention nor interest in listening to his excuses. Or justifications. Or whatever it was he had been about to utter. I knew only too well how his mind worked. Sigh. He did have his uses, though. However, I would not avail myself of the one 'use' Tomo seemed only all-too-eager to give. Not when I—

The former illusionist bowed. "Hai, Kiryuu-sama. As you wish..." He straightened up again, once more his collected, business-like self. "Is there anything else you might need?"

Now why did he sound so hopeful all of a sudden...? I thought about it a moment, then decided that for once, I was better off not knowing. "No, Keshou-san. Thanks to you, I have everything I need right now." Well, almost everything. Smirk. Or would that be rather everyone? Anyway... "As for tomorrow, I want you to put the suit and the other clothes you brought into the...wardrobe over there."

As 'Tomo' hastened to comply, I was reminded of something else, another score I had yet to settle. "Ah, there is one other matter to take care of." An attractively attentive face turned towards me. "Please deal appropriately with the...people—" Idiots, rather. "—of the company that was contracted with the refurnishing of my office. Especially the abysmally intelligent person who decided that pink would be a good colour for the carpet. I want them fired."

Tomo's eyes had acquired a certain glint that did not bode well for anyone concerned with that particular disaster. Neither did his shark-like smile, nor his mutedly enthusiastic "Hai, Kiryuu-sama! I will take care of that immediately!". But then again, his...techniques of 'intimidation' had always been what other people might call pretty malicious, not to mention downright nasty and unpleasant when necessary. I would say he just attacks his target with a single-minded intensity of purpose that more often than not blinded him to possible outside influences and interference. On the plus side, however, he knew for certain how to follow orders. Well...at least the ones I gave him. Just as it should be.

Smirking faintly, I watched Tomo gather his things, grab his briefcase and turn towards me. I was somewhat curious about what he would do to – or do with – the 'pink-carpet idiots'. "Keep me informed on the progress of...that matter. As for my discharge tomorrow, I will phone you about the details later today."

"Hai, Kiryuu-sama. Onegai shimasu." Tomo moved to the door and, facing me once more, bowed deeply, respectfully. "Mata ashita, Kiryuu-sama." The he left.

Finally. Finally I could turn my thoughts to where they had wanted to go all along. I had to force my mind away from my precious one for far too long now. It would have been not quite opportune if someone had caught me off-guard, daydreaming. That could be construed a weakness after all. And I would not be weak ever again. I also vowed to not let go of what was mine ever again.

"Kiryuu-sama, it is lunch-time," an overly genki voice ripped into my musings. What the—!? .......Oh. I watched a small, pert woman in a nurse's uniform bustle to and fro, quickly arranging a rather sumptuous meal on a tray she then put on the small moveable table near my bed. That in itself would have been tolerable – if that baka onna had only stopped in her incessant babbling. I really was not interested to hear talk of things inconsequential to me and the larger scheme of things. No, I tried to calm myself, you cannot kill her. Not here. It would ruin your reputation for certain. 'Maybe,' an insidious little voice in the back of my mind whispered. 'But at least you'd then have the peace and quiet you wanted.' ...............Get a grip!

The onna must have noticed my increasing agitation because she turned to face me, upped her smile by a million degrees and— "I hope you will enjoy your meal. Please call if you need anything else."

Or not. Sigh. If only she would leave already! I was quickly approaching the point where I would seriously consider taking my chances.

"Nurse Aikawa!" A stern, authoritative voice interrupted. "What are you still doing here? You are already way behind your schedule as it is. What were you thinking?!" One look at the shame-faced girl told the Head Nurse that yes, indeed, the onna— "Or have you been thinking at all!?" Sighing, the older woman ushered a blessfully silent nurse out. As she stood in the doorway, the Head Nurse turned, bowed respectfully and said, "I apologize for her...behaviour. Please forgive this overly enthusiastic nurse. She is still in training." With that said, the Head Nurse bowed again and left, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Maybe now I could handle my matters in peace. ...After having lunch, of course.

A short while later, I pushed the tray-plus-table out of my way, setting it somewhere to the side where it would not disturb me. Then I pulled the files onto my lap. There weren't as many as I would have thought, only about a dozen. And of those files that Tomo had so thoughtfully put into separate folders, I would choose two, maybe three at most.

After an hour or so, I had gone through maybe half of the files Tomo had brought. The two most likely candidates I had already selected and set aside. But still... I had the nagging feeling that I would regret it if I did not look through the remaining files, too. And my instincts had never been wrong before. Just look at my suspicions back then, concerning Tamahome and me being bound together by destiny. Hm... Tamahome...bound.....chains...

Blink. Wait a moment. Why again was I interested in a bunch of trainees-to-be!? This was certainly not the way I usually handled these things – so why now of all times? Hn. The encounter with my violet-eyed beauty must have stirred my more than I had originally thought. Or... I quickly flipped through the bios in each file.

YES!!!

I knew it. I knew it! There was absolutely no doubt. It was clear as water and bright as the sun.

Under my growing smirk, the picture of a certain blue-haired boy with violet-grey eyes continued to smile, totally oblivious to my growing...tension.

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Somewhere in the ever-busy city, the former seishi of Suzaku, Tamahome, now more commonly known as Taka, shivered. If he didn't know better, he'd almost swear the violent chill he had felt running down his spine just now was an omen. A bad omen. Of...horrible things to come. Soon...

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With my smirk still in place, I composed the letter of acceptance. I would have Tomo send them out to each of the selected trainees this evening or tomorrow at the latest. Oh, the days to come would certainly be...interesting. And with my Tamahome finally within my grasp once again... Smirk deepening, I pushed the 'send'-button that would bring the email on its way to my secretary.

I chuckled quietly as I closed my laptop, put it away and lay back. Who but me knew what would happen in the foreseeable future, what plans of mine would, hopefully, soon come to fruition. Really. What fascinating, exciting things I had set in motion...

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Tsuzuki...err, Tsuzuku, I meant.