SUMMER DAYS
Disclaimer: I actually own all of the characters in this story. But Nintendo patented all the ideas before I could. Please help support my cause by sending spam to the African Sega headquarters!
Chapter 7
Captain Falcon went flying through the air with a large
bruise on his head shaped like the head of the Ice Climbers' mallets. As a
matter of fact, he had indeed been hit by the Ice Climbers with their mallets.
Being hit by two mallets simultaneously at such a force that you fly through
space for several hours is undoubtedly a painful experience. So, yes, Captain
Falcon was in pain. Quite a lot of it. So, anyway...
Captain Falcon went flying through the air with a large
bruise on his head shaped like the head of the Ice Climbers' mallets. As a
matter of fact, he had indeed been hit by the Ice Climbers with their mallets.
Being hit by two mallets simultaneously at such a force that you fly through
space for several hours is undoubtedly a painful experience. So, yes, Captain
Falcon was in pain. Wait. I've said this before, haven't I? Sorry about that.
It's just that Captain Falcon is not the epitome of good thinkers (quite the
opposite) and this is mainly what he was thinking of. Aside, of course, from a
naked Samus. Captain Falcon assumed that a naked Samus would be much better
than a clothed Samus. Firstly, Samus looked good without clothes. Secondly,
being naked would mean that Samus wouldn't have a flamethrower at hand if she
got mad at him, like what had happened yesterday. And the day before. And the
day before.
For no apparent reason, Captain Falcon suddenly landed in a
giant room full of swirling colours. Mystical voices shouted centuries of
untold secrets to his waiting ears, none of which were vaguely important or
interesting, and choirs of unearthly beings sang music which sounded worse than
Celine Dion trying to play baroque music with an over-amplified overdrive
electric guitar.
Dazed, Captain Falcon looked around wildly. "What am I doing
here?" he said out loud. "Oh, yeah. Right. That. Wait! Where am I? What
is this place?"
"You should know that," said the voices around him. "Indeed,
you do know that. This is the place where everything is made. This is
the place where everything is destroyed. The womb and the grave of everything."
"Are you going to kill me?" said Falcon, now paying slightly
more attention.
"Fool. You do not appreciate what is done here. We have
sacrificed eternity for your sake. Surely you could spare respect for us!
Surely you would do us but a single favour."
"All right, now I don't get it," said Captain Falcon.
"I think you said something about me having six Author's note: the word
is six, not any extremely similar word with Samus for eternity if you
do me a favour."
"You didn't hear a word we said! We told you that you
owed us a favour -"
"Oh, right. So I do you a favour? And then Samus falls for
me like that?" Captain Falcon snapped his fingers, thinking of Samus falling
for him.
"NO! We just said: you do us a favour, because for
eternity your very being has been ensured by -"
"I heard you the first time. What do you want me to do?"
"You are desperate, aren't you?"
"Yep."
"Then you might as well do us a special favour."
"Does it mean that I get Samus?"
"Er... yes. Yes, it does."
"Okay," said Captain Falcon eagerly.
Auxiliary power plant, GameSpheroid™ Local Headquaters,
Buisiness District. 8.55 A.M.
There were fifty-two guards surrounding all entrances to the
auxiliary power plant. Each of these guards meticulously monitored an area of
access. Every square nanometre of wall was being scanned, the ceilings were
rigged with manned heat detectors. The air conditioning ducts were filled with
poison gas so that nobody could crawl through them (or turn on the A.C.)
without suffering a painful death. The controls to the power plant were
isolated so that someone would have to be physically there to get in. The rooms
above and below the vault were rigged with fancy looking infra red sensors
which really didn't do anything but were necessary for any good vault. There
was no way a person could possibly sneak into the auxiliary power plant via any
route which would work in other cool vault buildings from movies. Even the
ceilings had touch sensitive panels to stop anybody from crawling in that way.
Pikachu walked into the power plant.
A security guard buzzed him in. "Well, you don't look like
you work here, but you're not trying to drill through the walls, so I guess
you're all right," he said.
Pikachu was stunned. "Wow!" he thought. "Ness' plan to get me in actually worked. I'd call him a genius, except that he is. Hmm. Do
geniuses think that being called a genius is a compliment? Do geniuses think
that I'm cute? And could a genius like Ness work out how to get Pichu to shut
up about his good looks?"
Pikachu recalled the plan which he was supposed to be
following. "Oh, dear, how silly of me. Plans are especially important.
They provide a strong framework for future development and are an
essential aspect of motivation for people to carry out specific minor
tasks which contribute to the overall scheme."
Pikachu looked at his list. "Pika pi pi pika chu chu ka?" "Now
what does he want me to do?
"Hmm... 1: 'Get into the auxiliary power plant room'...
done that. I'm so glad that Ness' plan is helping me to coherently
order my thoughts and ensure that I work productively and efficiently.
Right.
"2: 'Make sure that the guards aren't suspicious'... of
course I did that. I am a very quick thinking and intelligent
Pokemon, and can easily come up with creative lies. I'm glad that I have
listened to Ness' useful suggestions.
"3: 'Stop thinking like a motivational speaker.' Hmph.
Who is he to boss me around?"
"Pika pi?" "What?" That was easy! Ness just wanted
him to short out all the circuits in the power plant and thus magically stop it
from providing power, despite the fact that this power plant simply created
power and used no complex circuits, instead simply providing AC power to (I'm
not going to tell you where because it's a surprise and if you've read the last
chapter then you can guess what it is so pretend that you didn't).
The guard turned around. "Hey! What do you think you're
doing?"
"Pika pi pi ka, pi ka chu cha!" "There isn't a rule
against talking!"
"Yes, but -"
"Ka pi kach! Ku u pi kich ka pichu kachu pik!" "Exactly!
So just leave me alone, guard!"
The guard pointed at a sign.
ATTENTION:
NO reading lists in the power plant room.
NO attempting to short out the power plant.
NO shorting out the power plant.
NO yellow Pokemon allowed.
NO making sure that the guards aren't suspicious.
"No, I'm afraid it's too late. I refuse to listen to any excuses. I demand that we fight this very minute, using lots of jumping kicks, as well as spinning arm grabs and lots of positive thoughts helping to achieve desired goals."
"Pi ki uka I pi ki u ichu a iakchik kuh?" "Is it okay if I kick you into an electric board?"
"Hey, you're not supposed to say that! Now, if this was a movie or a REALLY LAME SHORT FAN STORY WRITTEN BY A MORON, any audience will know who's going to win the fight sequence which we were just discussing!"
"I ka ku ki! I kuh kich!" "I'm a good guy! I must win!"
"True..."
Well, you know what happened. There was a cool fight scene. I'm not good at writing about fight scenes. Actually, I'm not good at writing in general. So just imagine that you can see a fight scene (a cool one) and I'll hum the music for you. Dababa bum bah ba bah bah babaha badana nadabada badoompa doompa, dobidah doobidah doopa doo doopa dabidah!
Aliens invaded the planet and blasted millions of innocent
people into ashes at twice the speed of light. Maybe. Not that Princess Peach
would have noticed. She was, after all, playing golf.
I'll just let that sink in.
Golf.
Now, let's also say, for argument's sake, that Princess Peach
was standing... hm... on top of the Smash Mansion.
Golf.
On top of the Smash Mansion.
Okay. Can you imagine that? All right. Now, imagine that
there's really annoying music playing. So annoying that it reminds most people
of Peach when she's speaking in such a sweet voice that you want to take the
golf clubs out of her hands and insert them into her stomach the unconventional
way.
Golf.
On top of the Smash Mansion.
That tune from Star Fox Adventures.
Now, let me also mention that Princess Peach was not
noticing the background music but was instead singing. Kind of like Celine Dion
trying to sing classical opera with an over-distorted case of vocal seizures.
At a rock concert.
Golf.
On top of the Smash Mansion.
That tune from Star Fox Adventures.
While singing like Kirby and Young Link on sugar.
By now, you should be utterly amazed by this oblivious show
of stupidity from Princess Peach. She was doing something mundane and
predictable in an extremely dangerous place, while singing completely out of
tune. Well, I don't want to shock you loyal readers, but -
Hello?
Any loyal readers?
Any interested readers?
Is anyone reading this?
Oh, I am. Good. At least someone cares. Me.
Grrr.
Well, if anyone was reading, I wouldn't want to shock
them, so I'm warning them now: this is really shocking.
Princess Peach was wearing a red dress.
Yes, that's right.
A red dress.
Not the usual pink one.
Red.
Now, most people, by now, at least, would be wondering why
Princess Peach was acting so strangely. Well, there's a very good explanation.
It's quite simple, actually. You see:
When Princess Peach woke up this morning she put on a pink
dress and then as she was walking out of her room Captain Falcon flirted with
her and she thought that was very sweet of him and accordingly kissed
him but then Falcon said that he thought she was Samus and then he ran away and
made Peach very sad so then she went down to the kitchen and found Zelda and
they talked about ponies which was very sweet and they discussed other
things like ponies and stallions and mares and horses and ponies and perissodactyla
equidae equus caballus which doesn't actually mean anything but sounds kind
of funny so then Peach went upstairs and found Samus who was very sweet
but was an extremely violent woman and a bad example for children especially
little girls who liked Samus so Peach knew that she had to settle this problem
pacifistically so Peach pulled out a sword she had confiscated from Link and
mauled Samus with it and Samus tried to hit her back and dive into a morph ball
which was very sweet but Peach grabbed the morph ball and stuck nails
into it and Samus was stuck in there so Peach threw Samus into a fire and then
Peach went downstairs and ate some nice scones which Kirby had stolen from the
pantry which were very sweet and then Peach realised that she had blood
all over her dress which was the oxygenated sort of blood so her dress was
covered with red stuff and she tasted it and decided that it wasn't very
sweet at all so she tried washing it out but it didn't work which made
Peach upset so she decided she needed something to cheer herself up so she
finished the scones and then she went to find Ness but Ness had disappeared and
maybe he was stealing stuff but that was okay it was better than being violent
so Peach went exploring and found a magical vase singing some very sweet
Christmas carols and then Peach decided to play golf so she went up to the roof
and played golf, but was too busy playing golf to admire the view which was very
sweet.
"How sweet," thought Peach.
"How sweet," thought Pichu. "It's Christmas
carols. And it's coming from a vase. How interesting!"
Pichu walked a bit closer to take a look.
The vase was still singing, now vaguely representing "Silent
Night".
"Ji-ly gly, gi-ly gly, uh i gul, uh i gly..." sang the vase
sweetly.
Pichu stuck his head into the vase so as to hear better.
Nana and Popo were huddled somewhere in a long air vent used
to vent – well, air. I guess you guessed that. I mean, I am guessing that it is
a good guess to guess that you are guessing that – the point being that Nana
and Popo were huddled here.
Directly beneath them was a cool looking vault which Ness had located for them. The Ice Climbers were trying to get the GameSpheroids™ inside
the vault. Unfortunately, the giant and easily visible infra-red laser barrier
was still turned on. This, as a matter of fact, was a bad thing.
"I thought Ness said that he would get it turned off!" said
Nana angrily.
"You're looking at me as if it's my fault," said Popo
placidly.
"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm
angry..."
Popo gulped and looked down. "I've got an idea!"
"And just what might this oh-so-brilliant idea be, Popo?"
"Well, I was thinking that even if I dance around inside the
laser grid, the computer tracking the sensors has such bad reflexes that it
won't sound the alarm for 5 seconds!"
"How do you know what its reflexes are like?"
Popo pulled out a mallet and hit one of the sensors, then
looked Nana in the face for exactly five seconds before pointing at the sensor.
"OW," said the sensor. "THAT WAS RATHER RUDE OF
YOU,"
"So," said Nana. "What difference does that make? If you
jump down now, then the alarm will still go off." Nana felt proud at herself
for being so smart.
"But Nana, if the power goes out a split second before the
alarm goes off, then nobody will have noticed that anything has happened!"
"And what makes you think that the power will go off right
then?"
"Hey, it always works in films," said Popo, shrugging at
Nana (as opposed to shrugging at someone else completely or his imaginary
friend John) quietly.
"True," said Nana thoughtfully. "But this isn't a film. This
is real life! That, or a REALLY LAME SHORT FAN STORY WRITTEN BY A MORON,"
she added.
Popo jumped through the air conditioning vent.
Now, has anyone here seen the Mission: Impossible
movie? You know, the one where Agent Hunt goes flying through a white vault in
CIA headquarters being hoisted by a dangerous ex-agent? Well, this is kind of
like it. Except that I don't have the rights to the theme song, and instead of
Agent Hunt it was Popo being lowered by his ice climbing rope, and instead of a
vault in CIA headquarters there was a vault in GameSpheroid™ local
headquarters, and instead of that slightly psychopathically evil dude pulling
Popo down it was Nana who held Popo's life in her hands (note: you don't want
Nana to be holding your life in her hands. She invariably drops things.) and
also, the
GameSpheroid™ company was so poor despite selling millions upon millions of
heavily overpriced gaming consoles and employing cheap labour from DK's jungle
for about one cent per decade that they couldn't afford even a cheap computer
to put inside this vault.
Incidentally, the vault wasn't white; it was more like a
weird shade of grey.
So anyway, Popo went flying down while Nana held him up via
a rope. The laser grid ad been triggered, and Popo counted down his head. "Five...
four... three... two... one..."
Pikachu cut out the auxiliary power just before the alarm
would have gone off.
This is the sort of coincidence which, coincidentally,
coincided with the coincidental plane of reality, by coincidence.
Popo reached the floor of the vault and delicately picked up
all the GameSpheroid™ games. "Okay, I've got it," he said.
For the sake of dramatic tension, the games suddenly
disintegrated, leaving a note behind. Popo, shocked, picked up the note and read
it aloud.
"Okay: 'The happiness you seek may have been once,
But certainly is here no more,
And if you mispronounce the word 'dunce',
Then this poem rhymes, you bore.'"
Nana thought that Popo was making up poetry (having not seen
what had happened down there) and, to punish him for his sudden show of
creativity (for goodness' sake, he was male!), she let go of the rope.
Popo hit the floor with a thud. "Ow," he said rather feebly.
Now, the more intelligent of my readers (yes, I know that I
don't have any readers, but if, for argument's sake, I did have readers,
then the more intelligent of those readers would now be the subject of this
argument) may have been wondering why the guards had not noticed anything
unusual.
Well, it turns out that Ness and Kirby had been doing an
excellent job of distracting the guards.
Firstly, Ness sent Kirby into the nearby cheap Moonbucks
coffee shop to get the new variety of coffee, Intoxik-8! Kirby came back with a
full cup. Ness used all his psychic powers and intelligence to make the guard
drink it.
"Hello, mister guard?" said Ness in a high-pitched voice.
"Yes, sonny?" said the guard in a low-pitched voice.
"I'm lost and I can't find my way out so please drink this
coffee for me."
"All right," said the guard, downing the coffee. The guard
suddenly leaned forward, threw up, and started flirting with Ness.
"Hey, little boy, you look good in that dress," said the
guard drunkenly.
Kirby ran in to join Ness. They danced around and kept the
guard distracted.
Unfortunately, after a few minutes, the guard shook himself
out of his drunk stupor. "Hey! Wait a minute! You gave me alcohol to distract
me so that your friends could sneak into the vault!"
"What?" said Ness, looking at Kirby. "Intoxik-8 is so strong
that it's dangerous to use water while you're under its influence! What did
you do, Kirby?"
Kirby gulped. "Well, I couldn't find where they kept the
coffee, so I-"
"Did you look inside the coffee machines, Kirby?" said Ness angrily.
"Oops. Well, anyway, I saw some Cokepsi™ and thought that it
would do."
"Oh, I see. That's understandable. COKEPSI™
is such a very rewarding experience that it make people act as if they're
drunk! Except that they're not. Cokepsi doesn't contain alcohol. Only coke.
That's why it's good for you!"
Kirby and Ness did a cute little dance, and pointed at an
imaginary camera.
The guard had had enough of this, and sounded the alarm.
"BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"
went the alarm.
"Mmm... candy..." said Kirby, fainting into Ness' shoes.
Link threw the suspenders at the Mario brothers and
magically teleported to a different room. (Now you know why you weren't to
forget the suspenders!)
Link was now just outside the main doors to the Smash Mansion. He immediately joined in a conversation with Marth and Zelda, despite the
fact that he had no idea what they were talking about.
"And that is why I believe that the universe is really governed
by very much benevolent enchanted ponies," finished Zelda with a really dopey
grin.
"Well," said Marth. "My philosophy is that the universe is
ruled by a supreme deity. Its name is Theau Thor. Theau Thor has ultimate
control over our lives and decides everything that we do and is responsible for
all the amazing coincidence which occurs in this world."
"If that's true," said Link, "then why are some people so
stupid? And why are we so unhappy? Theau Thor obviously doesn't care if we get
hurt."
A brick materialized above Link and landed on his head,
shutting him up.
"Theau Thor is really handsome," said Zelda admiringly.
"And clever and witty and charming," sighed Marth.
"You know what such a wonderful and important person
deserves?"
"Yes," said Marth. "Theau Thor, for all his hard work in
ensuring that this universe continues to function in such a pleasantly pleasing
way, deserves -"
"REVIEWS!" shouted Marth, Zelda, and
Link together. (Link had magically woken up so that he could praise The Author.
I mean, Theau Thor.)
Sonic the Hedgehog suddenly appeared.
"Hello, Sonic," said Zelda pleasantly. "What are you doing
here?"
"Well, I'm actually a secret Smash Brothers character,"
explained Sonic.
"But Sonic, you're not actually Nintendo! You're a Sega
character!"
"STFU n00b!!!!111 U al r l0s3rs! :) :) :- lololololol!"
said Theau Thor.
"But Zelda," said Sonic. "I'm cool! I'm blue, I have a neat
name, and I'm so super powerful that I can beat anybody! And if Theau Thor is
so stupid that he doesn't realize how much that stacks the odds when I'm
actually part of a tournament of friendly battle, then obviously Theau Thor is
an idiot!"
"Sonic, you're not Nintendo. How many times do I have
to say that before every single Au Thor shuts up about it and stops acting like
some wannabe loser?" said Zelda.
Zelda was suddenly hit by lightning as divine retribution
for being rude.
Marth turned into a pony and went on a quest to find his
long lost pony sister who turned out to be kept in an evil villain's stormy
cliff-top giant lair.
Sonic suddenly saw that Theau Thor was indeed a stupid
person for having included a Sega hedgehog in the story, and suddenly melted,
turning into a delicious blue syrup which goes well with pancakes and
marshmallows.
Link was suddenly teleported back right in front of Mario
and Luigi.
Theau Thor decided that it wasn't worth killing off Link, so
Mario and Luigi realised how wrong they were. How? Well... er... maybe Mario and
Luigi were confronted by Yoshi who told them how Ganondorf had manipulated them
into being evil minions. Yeah. That's believable. So that's what happened, I
guess.
"It's very simple, Captain. We will ensure you eternal
happiness if you do a single favour for all those needy children in the world,"
said the voice.
"Right," said Captain Falcon. "I'll be happy if I... what? Do
a single child?"
"No, you fool! Just take this magical container to the
blooming plant, and then you may be released, both physically and spiritually."
"Right," said Captain Falcon. He had kind of dozed off after
the "Just take..." bit.
Jigglypuff meticulously applied makeup to an unconscious Pichu's tail.
Outside GameSpheroid™ Local Headquarters, Business
District. 9.13 A.M.
"Okay," said Ness. "That didn't work. Now, Popo, I've
analysed that note you've found. It says that we will be able to find the games
in Abu Dhabi."
"Really?" said Popo.
"No, idiot," said Ness. "Here's the plan: there's a truck
coming up this road full of GameSpheroid™ games. When I give you the signal, we
start bombarding the truck with all kinds of attacks."
"Now?" said Nana.
"No, not yet," said Ness, holding up his hand.
Pikachu and Kirby started throwing rocks into the distance.
"NO!" said Ness.
"But you gave us the signal," whined Kirby. "You put your
hand up."
"That wasn't the signal, Kirby."
"What is the signal?" said Kirby, thinking, "Oh, please
please please say that the signal is you giving me lots of candy."
"When I say 'now'," said Ness.
"The signal is 'now'?" asked Kirby.
"Yes, Kirby, it's 'now'."
Popo and Nana pulled out their squall hammers.
"NO!" said Ness. "Not yet!"
"But you said 'now'," said Popo.
"But I didn't mean 'now' as in 'now', I was just telling
Kirby... forget it. Just attack at the count of five."
The truck came closer.
"One..."
The truck came closer.
"Two..."
The truck came closer (I know, a bit predictable).
"Three..."
"This is easy," said Captain Falcon. "I get to have se – I
mean, six, with Samus, and all I have to do is manoeuvre this strange container
to the mother compound. How easy can it get?"
C. Falcon reached the mother compound.
The truck stopped at the headquarters gate.
"Four..." said Ness.
Everyone got ready.
C. Falcon smiled. "This is easy! And I'm almost done! The only thing that could possibly ruin me now is if a genius, two young mountain climbers, a puffball and an electric type Pokemon simultaneously bombard me with weird attacks."
Ness, the Ice Climbers, Kirby and Pikachu all attacked the truck at the same time.
The truck exploded, sending Captain Falcon flying through the air, as a jazzy kind of theme played.
Jigglypuff meticulously applied cucumber slices to Pichu's eyeballs.
Dababa bum bah ba bah bah babaha badana nadabada badoompa doompa, dobidah doobidah doopa doo doopa dabidah!
Smash Mansion Main Hall. 9.30 A.M.
Almost everybody suddenly materialized in the Smash Mansion hall.
They all stared at each other.
Master Hand floated in.
"Master Hand!" shouted everyone. "We haven't seen you for
weeks! Where have you been? What are you doing?"
"Silence," said Master Hand. "I was hoping that forcing you
all to stay here at the Smash Mansion would teach you some character."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"So," continued Master Hand. "If I let you go, you must have
learnt something. So, what has happened in the last 15 hours? What have you
learnt?"
"Well," said Mario, stepping up, "I have-a learnt-a that
violence is not the answer to all our problems. Cokepsi™ is!"
Master Hand nodded (kind of).
Luigi stepped forward. "I have-a learnt that violence is
not-a the solution to all our troubles."
Master Hand shook with fury.
"Oh, something else-a? Well, er... er... help? I have-a learnt
that if one plus one is two, then two plus two can't be four because-a if two
plus two is... wait... but then... no... but if it is... what?... perhaps..."
Peach stepped forward. "I've learnt that golf balls roll off
rooftops easily!"
Bowser stepped forward. "I've learnt that vegetables are not
going to become a trend in clothing anytime soon."
Captain Falcon stepped forward. "I," he said in a throaty
voice, "have learnt counting. Samus, you asked me what comes after 1. Well
baby, it's – wait – give me a moment... if one plus one is two... wait... but then...
no... but if it is... what?... perhaps... wait, it's C, isn't it?"
Samus stepped forward. "No, it's three."
"I knew that."
Samus turned to face Master Hand. "I've learnt that music
binds us all together and that Peach swings a mean golf club. She tried using
the morph ball function in my suit to play golf with!"
"Did not!" said Peach.
"Did too!" said Samus.
Peach screamed and started hitting Samus with a vase.
"True," said Master Hand. "Music is important. So..."
Fox: "I've learnt not to trust my friends, but only my enemies."
Gannondorf: "I've learnt that Young Link eats way too much sugar."
Young Link: "What? Er... no... because... because I've learnt... that Gannondorf... is an evil... evil liar?"
Link: "I've learnt that it's impossible to kill my younger self because if I killed my younger self then I would have died when I was that young so then I wouldn't be able to kill myself so then I'd be alive except that it's really confusing and Young Link is a dirty stinking rat."
Zelda: "I've learnt that ink does not go well with celery."
Nana: "I've learnt that Ness only cheats half of the time. Wait..."
Popo: "I've learnt how to cheat at cards. I mean, I've learnt how to play card properly. Really. Not kidding."
Mr Game & Watch was not yet in this story, so he didn't say anything.
Roy: "I've learnt that Ness makes a good tennis ball!"
Ness: "I've learnt that tennis sucks!"
Marth: "I've learnt how stupid Luigi and Mario really are!"
Yoshi: "Yoshi? Yoshi yoshi..." Yoshi noticed DK looking at him angrily. "Arararararar!" cried Yoshi, running around.
DK: "What? Me? Er... me don't know? Me learnt... Pauline taste... good?"
Kirby: "I've learnt the difference between espresso and sugar. Sugar is sweeter." Kirby ran around in circles at light speed then fainted.
Pichu: "Pichu chu chu ka!" "What's this? AAAAH! THERE'S BLACK STUFF ON MY FACE! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! What? Oh. Well, I've learnt that... Pikachu is... a good person?"
Pikachu: "Pikachu chu kachu chikuch ka!" "I've learnt how fun mindless mayhem is!"
Mewtwo: "I've learnt that overexposure to these people is making me go insane!"
"Well, that's everyone!" said Master Hand.
"Jig jiggly puff puh jig!" cried Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff was so very clever that she had made up her very own dance routine! That's right! Dance! Jump! Say your name! Turnstyle! Freestyle! Motorbike! Play the flute! Throw pies! Throw cake! Somersault! Back flip! Pound and sing! Super sonic breakdance! Jigglypuff happily danced and twirled and pirouetted all the way out of the room. Via the window. And fell. Out of the window.
A meteor suddenly hit the Smash Mansion, killing off everyone. And that, friends (if I've any), is the end of that story.
THE END
Really.
The end.
I'm not joking.
It's the end.
Please believe me?