Kerry and Deb were doing there best to try and figure out what was wrong with Luka. Kerry opened his eyelids and shone a light in them.
"Pupils unresponsive." Deb nodded and cast a look at his monitors.
"His BP and oxygen levels are falling." A nurse walked in with a sheet of paper.
"Here's his tox screen." She raised an eyebrow as she gave it to Deb. Deb grabbed the paper, confused at the gesture. She quickly scanned the sheet and her eyes widened.
"Jesus." She muttered. "Kerry, we need to pump his stomach and give him charcoal now. It's an OD on vicodin."
"What? Are you sure?" Kerry stared at Deb in disbelief.
"Yes, here look for yourself." She handed the sheet to her and Kerry shook her head as she read it.
"Jesus, Luka. What the hell did you do?" Kerry whispered as she started the procedure. Within minutes his pulse and oxygen levels were starting to go up. Kerry looked at Deb.
"Does Abby know what happened?"
Abby sat in the waiting room, wringing her hands. She looked up and saw Kerry walking toward her. She jumped up and quickly walked to her.
"Is he ok? What happened? Where is he?" Abby was firing questions at Kerry before she had the chance to speak. She looked at Kerry's face, unable to read it.
"Abby..." she began carefully. "Was Luka upset about anything recently?" Abby frowned.
"No, I don't think so. Why? Please, just tell me what happened."
"He overdosed on vicodin." Kerry looked at Abby for her reaction.
"What? Are you saying that he...that maybe he..." Abby couldn't get the words out. There was no way he had tried to commit suicide. Luka wasn't like that. He hadn't showed any signs. This just couldn't be possible. Kerry looked over at Abby again.
"When he wakes up, we're transferring him to psych." Abby just sat there in stunned silence.
"He's going to be okay?"
"We think so. He was lucky you found him." Abby watched as Weaver walked away. She sat back down in the chair in total disbelief.
Luka could hear voices around him. They sounded familiar. His entire body hurt. There is no way this is Heaven, he thought, maybe Hell, but certainly not Heaven.
"Luka, can you open your eyes?" Luka's mind raced to place the voice. It was Kerry's. Maybe he was in Hell. He slowly opened his eyes and quickly shut them as the bright lights hit them. He groaned and brought his hand to his head. His head was killing him.
"Just take it slow. Can you open your eyes?"
He slowly reopened his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the light. He looked around and realized he was in the hospital. He was confused at first. Then it all came back to him. Panicked, he looked up at Kerry. He went to raise his hand but realized that he was in restraints. He felt a twinge of guilt at this realization. Kerry's face softened a bit and she freed Luka's hands.
"Luka" she said to him, as she finished untying the restraints. "You're in the hospital, do you remember what happened?" Luka looked around first. He was in the hallway, waiting for a room, he supposed. He tried to sit up but Kerry pushed him back down.
"No, you need to rest. Take it easy." Luka struggled to sit up, his body screaming in protest. He had to get out of this place. He couldn't believe he failed. He reached over and pulled the IV out of his arm and swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"Kerry." he said, his voice scratchy from the tubes. "I have to get out of here." He tried standing but she blocked his path.
"No, lay back down. There is no way in hell you are getting out of here. Do you remember what happened at all? Do you?" Kerry looked Luka in the eyes. Luka turned his head to avoid her.
"Yes, it's no big deal. Just let me go." Luka tried to pass Kerry again. She looked at him, her mouth hanging open.
"No big deal? No big deal?! Luka, you overdosed on painkillers! If Abby wouldn't have found you..." Luka's head snapped up.
"Abby found me?" He felt everything inside him tumble around. He didn't want to hurt Abby. She was the one thing in his life that wasn't bad.
"Yes... Now if you don't get back on that gurney I'll put you back in retraints." Luka sighed and got back onto the gurney knowing he was defeated. He watched in silence as Kerry fixed his IV.
"Now," she began. "Someone will be back in a minute to get you into a room. Please just stay here and don't get up." Kerry gave him one last look and walked away. Luka sat there feeling helpless and very alone. He just wanted to get up and run away from it all. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He knew he was in for a long haul. All because of one mistake.
Abby looked up as she saw someone standing in front of her. It was Carter again. He had two cups of coffee in his hands. He held one out to her. She smiled and took it.
"I thought you could use a cup." He said, sitting down beside her. She took a sip of the liquid and turned to face him.
"Thanks." She sat there looking thoughtful for a moment and began to speak again. "Carter, did I miss something here? Did you notice anything about Luka, because I sure as hell didn't and I'm still racking my mind as to how I missed it." Abby sat silent for a moment, waiting for Carter to speak.
"I don't know either, Abby. Sometimes I guess things just happen. He'll get help now. He'll be ok in the long run."
"How do you know that?" Abby countered.
"Well, I guess I don't know." Carter said, with a sigh. " I know that's not what you wanted to hear, was it?"
"No but thanks for trying anyway, Carter." They both sat there, silent, drinking their coffee. After a few moments, Abby spoke again.
"Carter, do you know what I was going to do today?" She asked him, not pausing for his answer.
"I was going to break up with him today." Carter's eyebrows went up in surprise. He had thought that Abby and Luka were fine, no problems. He had to stop himself from smiling. He couldn't help it, he was happy. He had liked Abby since the day he had met her. Carter listened as Abby continued.
"Should I still tell him? I mean, I don't want to make things worse, but I don't want to lie to him."
"I think you should tell him. It may be hard to hear but I agree, don't lie."
Luka opened his eyes when he felt the gurney moving. He looked over to see who was wheeling him. It was Deb and two other nurses he didn't recognize.
"Hey, it's good to see you awake." Deb said with a smile. Luka gave her a weak smile in return.
"Yes...well." Luka closed his eyes and prayed that Deb wouldn't say anything else. He didn't think he could answer her or anyone else for that matter. It a few minutes he was in a room. He looked around the white room, noticing how impersonal it was. He had never really noticed that before. I guess being on the other side of the situation makes a difference, he thought to himself. There was a knock on the door and he turned to see who it was. His breath caught in his throat when he looked up and saw Abby. She looked so tired, her face was pale and there was something about her eyes that made his heart want to break.
"Hey." she said quietly. Luka stared back at her. He wanted to say so much but he couldn't get the words out. He couldn't even imagine how he had hurt her. She began to walk towards him and still he sat there frozen. He watched as she came right next to the bed and pulled up one of those plastic, uncomfortable visitor's chairs. He wanted to say something but no words came to mind.
"Abby..." he began. He searched his brain for words but he could think of only one thing to say. "I'm sorry." Abby gave him a small smile.
"I know." Abby paused for a moment. "Luka, you have no idea how happy I am that you're okay. When I walked into that apartment and I...I found you...that just..." Luka watched as Abby's voice broke and he could tell she was trying to fight back tears. He reached out and touched her hand.
"Everything will be okay." He told her. She looked up at him laughing a bit.
"I'm supposed to be doing the comforting here." Luka gave her a wan smile as Abby continued. "I wish everything would be okay but it won't be…"
"What do you mean?" Luka asked nervously. He imagined what she had to say wasn't going to be easy to hear. Abby took in a breath before continuing.
"Luka, lately things haven't been the same for me. I think you're a great guy and you are one of my best friends. It's just that I think that's all we will ever be, just friends." Abby paused, waiting for a reaction. Luka closed his eyes for a moment. It was too good to be true, he thought to himself. He knew deep down this was coming. He just prayed that he wasn't right. He opened his eyes again and looked at Abby. She was crying.
"It's okay." He said, trying to sound like he meant it but it came out broken and small. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Really, it's all right."
"I still want to be friends, really. You're a great person and if...."He gave her a half hearted smiled and laugh, cutting her off.
"No, I mean it." she said. He looked at her.
"I already said it's okay, so please, " He asked. "Would you leave?" Abby didn't know what to say to that. She sat there silent.
"I... I guess. Well, sure." Abby got up and walked towards the door, turning back to look at Luka. "Maybe I could..."
"Go!" Luka spat angrily. "Just leave." Luka hadn't meant to be so mean, it was just that Abby was another thing he cared about that he was unable to keep in his life. He watched as she silently left the room, closing the door behind her. Luka sighed.
"Just another thing I failed. What kind of person am I? Can't even succeed in killing myself." He said to himself bitterly. He could feel the tears start to sting his eyes. He tried desperately to keep them from falling, but it wasn't any use. He gave a sarcastic laugh. "Yet another thing to add to the list of failure."