Susan walked towards the main desk, looking for Kerry. Maybe Kerry would let her leave now. She didn't want to be suckered into staying longer than she had to. Susan noticed Frank standing at the computer.

"Frank, have you seen Weaver?" Susan asked. Frank gave her a look.

"What do I look like, a baby-sitter? She's around here somewhere." With that he turned his back to her and went about fiddling with the computer. Susan rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Frank" she muttered. Susan sighed and went to pick up a chart, hoping it was something she could do quickly. She didn't notice Carter walk up behind her.

"How's Luka?" Susan jumped at the sound of his voice. She turned around.

"He'll be okay. He passed out." She told him. Carter raised an eyebrow, an amused look on his face.

"Really? At the sight of blood? I thought..."

"More like lack thereof." Susan interrupted, a edge in her voice. Carter frowned. What was Susan's problem?

" I didn't mean it like that." He told her. He hoped she didn't think he was being insensitive. He really did hope Luka was okay.

"Well, that's what it sounded like. It could have been serious Carter." Carter held up his hands in defeat.

"Okay. Okay. What's with you? It's like you're Luka's bodyguard or something. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. " Carter realized that comment was the wrong thing to say.

"Carter, shut up. I hope you get hurt so I can laugh at you!" Carter's eyes widened, his mouth falling open. Susan's face softened immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I don't wish harm on you or anything." Susan shoved the chart at him. "Here, I'm off." Susan walked away, leaving Carter to stare after her.

Susan walked into the lounge and headed for her locker. She opened it up and put her stuff inside. She looked over her shoulder and noticed Kerry sitting at the table.

"Leaving?" Kerry asked her. Susan nodded her head. "I heard what happened to Luka." Susan sighed.

"Yeah." Susan watched as Kerry shifted in her seat.

"I should find him and tell him to go home. Personally, I don't think he should be back yet." Susan shrugged her shoulders.

"Luka is stubborn. He wouldn't listen even if you told him that. By the way, do you want me to tell Luka he can go?" Susan waited for Kerry's answer.

"Sure, I really should be getting back to work anyway." Kerry got up and walked out of the lounge. Susan shut her locker and made her way back to the curtain where Luka was.

Luka sat alone with his thoughts. He didn't like Susan that way. She was a friend, that's all, a friend. What if she could be more than that? No, it's not possible, he concluded. Susan is someone who deserves much better than him. She deserves someone who isn't a failure, someone who isn't weak like him. He sighed and sat up. He couldn't let her take him back to her place. He quickly got up and started walking towards the exit. He passed the main desk on his way out. He looked up as Frank said something to him.

"Dr. Kovac, where the hell are you going?" Luka almost smiled to himself. Smooth as always Frank, he thought.

"Don't worry, Frank, I'm off. See you later." He quickly walked out the doors before Frank could mutter some cheesy comeback. He walked out into the cool air. It looked like it was going to rain but that was okay with him. It suited his mood. He jammed his hands into his pockets, flinching slightly when his injured arm rubbed against the fabric. He had taken the el to work that morning but decided against taking it back home. He wanted the time to sort through his thoughts. He missed Abby, there was no doubt about it. It hurt deep down inside to know that she no longer loved him. He wondered where it had went wrong. Was it him? Was there something he could have done to make it work? The what if game was something that frequently visited his thoughts but the one scenario that kept haunting him was; what if I never took those pills?

Susan quickly walked back to where Luka was. She couldn't wait to get of there, it had been a long day. She stopped all of a sudden when she came to the curtain where Luka was. It was empty.

"Damn it." She muttered to herself. She turned on heel and began walking to the exit. "I should have known. Too damn stubborn."

"Who are you talking about, Dr. Lewis?" Susan turned around as Frank spoke.

"Never mind, Frank." Susan said as she was about to leave.

"Well I was just wondering cause if you're talking about Kovac, he left." Susan rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, thanks Frank." she said, letting the doors close behind her.

Luka walked up the steps to his apartment. He fished his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. He tossed his coat on the floor and walked over to the couch, letting himself sink into the overstuffed cushions. He sighed, he was worn out and he wasn't even there for an entire shift. He had almost dozed off when he heard the buzzer go off. He sat up, puzzled. The buzzer was persistent and he finally got up and clicked the intercom on.

"Yeah?" he said, hoping it was someone who had buzzed for the wrong apartment.

"Luka?" A familiar sounding voice responded.

"Susan?" Luka asked in surprise. Why had she come here?

"Yeah, can I come up? Or is this a bad time?" Luka quickly hit the button to let her in.

"No, no, it's fine. Come up." Luka waited at the door until he heard footsteps on the stairwell.

He opened the door and Susan walked in. He quickly closed the door and turned to face Susan.

"Can I take your coat?" Susan nodded and he hung up her coat, after grabbing his from the floor and hanging it up also. Luka decided not to beat around the bush.

"Why are you here?" He asked her. She raised an eyebrow.

"The question is more like, 'Why didn't you wait for me?'" She said. Luka looked sheepish for a moment.

"I didn't want you to go out of your way." Susan smiled.

"I wasn't, besides I didn't want you passing out again because we both know that would have truly sucked." Luka shrugged, walking back into the living room. Susan followed him, watching as he sat back down on the couch. Luka glanced back up at Susan.

"Well, I didn't." Susan sat down next to him.

"Obviously. Let me see your arm." Susan reached out to grab his arm but Luka pulled it back.

"It's fine, really." Luka said.

"Well if it's okay then let me see it." Susan replied. Luka kept his arm back, not letting Susan see it.

"No." Luka said, a hint of a smile on his face. Susan laughed.

"Oh, come on, don't be such a baby." Luka sighed and held out his arm in surrender. Susan looked at it carefully.

"It's looks good, no signs of infection."

"I could have told you that." Luka said, then smiled. "But I guess you wouldn't have believed me unless you looked at it for yourself."

"Well, you know I love playing doctor to the weak and pitiful."

"Oh, really?" Luka said. Is that what she thinks of me? He thought to himself. That I am weak? Pitiful? Susan watched Luka's face, the smile disappearing.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Luka shook his head.

"Nothing, just thinking."

"Oh." They both sat there awhile, an uncomfortable silence between them. Luka broke the silence.

"Want to watch a movie or something?" Susan shook her head and stood up.

"No, I really need to be going. I just wanted to see how you were." Luka watched silently as she got up and walked toward the front door. He wanted so say something to her so badly but the words froze in his mouth. He didn't want to be alone. He knew deep down that Susan cared, she was probably the only one who cared about him at County. He took in a breath and spoke.

"Wait..." Susan stopped, turing to face Luka. Something in his voice caught her attention. "Please, don't go. I don't want to be here alone." he whispered.

Susan stopped, her hand in the air, almost on the doorknob. She turned around, looking at Luka, trying to read his face. He looked lost, broken even. She walked towards him, keeping her eyes on him the entire time, stopping when she was facing him. She listened as he spoke quietly.

"Susan, can I ask you one question?" Luka's voice was soft, pain filled. Susan realized she had never heard him like this before. Luka didn't wait for her reply before continuing to speak. "Why did you come here?" It was a simple question and Susan stood quietly thinking a moment before answering.

"I came because I care. You're my friend, my co-worker, I guess I just thought...I don't know..." She answered, her voice trailing. Luka sat down, then looked up at Susan. A few seconds later, he realized he was speaking.

"I remember I had to leave the apartment for supplies, my daughter Jasna was begging to come with me but I wouldn't let her. I remember the desolate looks on my family's faces as I shut the apartment door and headed out. We hadn't been able to leave the apartment for months, it was too dangerous. I was only a few feet away when I heard the mortar shell. I looked back and the apartment was in pieces. I ran back, praying that they were alive. I ran past my friends, neighbors, who were dying...dead. I found Marko, my two-year-old son first, he was dead. I looked up and I saw Danijela, my wife, I ran and tried to pick her up but I couldn't, she had a large abdominal wound. When I set her down, I saw Jasna, I ran to her but she wasn't breathing. I tried, I knew in vain, to get her back while my wife lay dying a few feet away. I lost them all." Luka felt the familiar tightness in his chest and could feel the hot tears sting his eyes. He hadn't told anybody this in such a long time and he realized how crazy he must sound but for some reason he knew Susan would understand. "I go to work everyday and I save people, I must have saved hundreds of lives by now." Luka paused, looking up at Susan. "But what kind of doctor...person am I, if I can't save the lives of the people who matter the most?"

Susan stood there silent, her mind reeling in the information Luka had just told her. She sat down next to him and slowly wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his tears on her shoulder but she held on anyway.

"I can't help but think about what I could have done." He choked out. "If I had left when she wanted too, maybe they would still be here. Maybe." Susan cut him off.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself. You did what you could, to me it sounds like you did everything in your power to save them." Susan watched as Luka nodded. She let go and watched as he reached up, wiping away the tears.

"I must sound like such a fool." He said, smiling a bit. Susan shook her head.

"Not at all." Luka shifted in his seat until he faced Susan.

"Thank you."