Disclaimer – I should have one of these pre-typed to just copy and paste it, it wastes time getting to the story at hand, which is really why you actually reading this page. You don't particularly care that I don't own them (see, can't get sued - Nah!) or that. Ok, now to the story…
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Lance had informed Kitty to inform Kurt that he was invited to the Brotherhood house to watch the Errol Flynn movie marathon that was on. Lance had failed to tell Kitty however that he was getting a little revenge on Wanda because in her delight, she had set Tabitha off like a firework.
He laughed to himself and snuck out of the house with the rest of the brotherhood as Wanda had her shower.
Kurt teleported into the hallway and looked about at the silence. "Hello?" Looking about, he realised that there was no one downstairs. But there was some music on upstairs – they mustn't have heard him enter.
Laughing, he decided to scare them. Following the music, he reached a room he hadn't been in before and, flinging the door open, jumped in. "Boo – ah!"
"Ah!"
"Ah!"
"Ah!"
The pair stopped for breath. "Kurt!"
The blue mutant was covering his eyes even though Wanda had the shower curtain around her. "Traurig! I vas told zhat every vun vas here to vatch ze Errol Flynn movie marathon on the Action Hero Channel."
"That doesn't exist!"
"Traurig, bitte töten Sie mich nicht!"
Wanda paused, having now gotten a red towel around herself. "I'm sorry Kurt, but I don't speak German."
"Ich neige, dies zu tun, wenn ich in Panik versetze und Sie schräg einWort von diesem verstehen - traurig, bitte töten Sie mich nicht!"
"Kurt!"
He swallowed then translated his garbled German. "I said 'I tend to do this when I panic and you can't understand a word of this - sorry, please don't kill me.' Bitte?" Kurt fell to his knees and started to beg.
"Fine, I won't, but you owe me two favours now." She smiled. "Now out so I can get changed." She blinked as a flash of blue fur left the room. "That was fast."
Deciding that the living room was probably safest, Kurt twiddled his thumbs nervously as his tail channel surfed with the remote. A few moments later and he stopped at a music channel which he started to bob his head to.
"You like that stuff?" Wanda had appeared, hands hidden behind her back.
"You'd be surprised; I have quite a varied taste." Hopping onto the back of the couch, Kurt tried to see what she was hiding.
"Time for the first favour." Grinning, she brandished the cat brushes.
"Nein!" Kurt clutched his heart, staggered back and then dropped out of sight onto the cushions of the sofa.
Laughing, the Scarlet Witch moved around the couch. "Come on, upstairs so you can lie down properly. I've got some little cat massaging things I want to try out on you..."
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Bring bring.
No one in the x-mansion moved.
Bring bring.
Scott growled. "Someone answer it." He was trying to watch his documentary on the human eye.
Bring bring.
The Goth smirked. "It's probably Kurt at the brotherhood."
Bring-
Amazingly, it was Logan who had grabbed the phone and he shoved the girls trying to grab it away. Since it was cordless, he managed to take it into the kitchen and barricade the door.
"Hello?"
"Eventually!" Wanda laughed, glancing at the bed behind her.
"Hello Wanda, what have you done to Kurt?" Logan reached into the fridge and removed a bottle of beer.
"Well, um, how to put this?" The girl looked behind her again and smothered a giggle at the tail around her ankle.
"Just spit it out." Unsheathing his adamantium claws, Logan cut the top of the beer bottle off.
Wanda giggled. "Um, I don't think Kurt's coming home tonight, too much popcorn and Errol Flynn it seems. He's out cold on the sofa." She moved over to the bed were Kurt, bound and gagged, glared at her. Tickling him behind the ear, Wanda held the phone to Kurt and the unmistakeable purr.
Logan had finished the beer. "Honey? You need to put the gag on a little tighter. Tell Kurt that I wish him luck, bye." He hung up and moved through to the main room again, returning the phone to the receiver. "Kurt's not coming back tonight, had too much popcorn apparently."
"What!" Scott shouted, leaping to his feet.
"What!" Kurt shouted as he was finally set free. "Zis is cruelty!"
Shaking her head, Wanda playfully tickled him behind the ear then kissed him lightly. "Don't worry, mein kleiner blauer Elf."
"I thought you didn't speak German!"
"I don't, I got it off a website translator thing."
"Little blue elf." Kurt muttered darkly then laughed as he was pinned against the floor. "Now Wanda, I didn't know you liked-"
"Don't try the innuendos, Kurt." She ran a brush over his exposed stomach, instantly gaining a purr. "You can't embarrass me."
"I can't?" Chuckling, he reversed the pin. "I think I can."
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At the x-mansion, things were still testy after Logan's apparent inconsideration towards the welfare to elves. He was currently in the kitchen with Ororo having chased off all the kids and he was enjoying another beer.
"So, Logan, what's really happening with Kurt?"
Smiling, Wolverine lowered the beer bottle. "Nothing serious, she had him tied up."
Ororo raised an eyebrow.
"And I know that Wanda has a few cat things, she's getting him to purr and that only has two conclusions."
"Which are...?"
"He'll either teleport straight home, or he'll go like a cat and just let her away with it all."
"I can tell there's a third option." Ororo smiled. "Let me guess, he'll get 'playful'."
"That's what I'm hoping."
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It was silent. Too silent as the brotherhood crept into the house and into the living room where there was a suspicious lack of blue furry mutant or Wanda. After looking about carefully, they verified that she must be upstairs and since they couldn't hear anything, was most likely asleep.
Annoyed, Tabitha dropped onto the sofa and frowned before pulling out Kurt's netted top. "I think blue's either gone home topless or he's still here." A little more rooting and she pulled out a red cardigan covered in blue hair. "Well, it seems Wanda's in the same predicament." She grinned at Pietro's look of horror. "Perhaps they're keeping each other warm?"
The speed mutant blurred as he ran up the stairs and into Wanda's room where he froze completely. Kurt was asleep on the window seat, tail swishing back and forth and Wanda was curled up in her bed.
She opened one eye and put a finger to her lips.
Pietro ran over to her and then ran out of the room with her. "What are you doing?" He hissed then looked at her. "Put something decent on." A second later he reappeared holding his terry robe which his sister put on over her skimpy red night dress that was dotted in blue fur.
"Happy? Now can you tell me what on earth you where all up to today? I think poor Kurt's going to have nightmares for weeks after he ran into the bathroom and realised I was in the shower. He's a real gentleman too."
"He saw you in the shower!"
"Shh!"
He grabbed her hand and ran into the main room, tripping over a set of shoes. Rolling his eyes, he got back up and paced the room, waiting for explanations.
Tabitha raised her eyebrows. "You are covered in blue fur and not much else." The girl raised the two tops up for inspection.
Putting two and two together, Wanda burst out laughing. "It does look like that, doesn't it? No, Kurt came here because Lance said there was an Errol Flynn movie marathon and instead found me in the shower. Literally."
There was silence except for several jaws hitting the ground.
"Then I get my payback by brushing his fur and he fell asleep on me. The end."
"Brushed him in that?" Pietro indicated the red silk night dress.
Wanda rolled her eyes. "No, I got changed when he fell asleep and -"
"In a different room I hope."
"He was asleep. So I got changed and went to put a blanket over him only his tail held my foot hostage."
They all nodded sympathetically since they had all been held hostage by The Tail at some point in their battles. It was similar to an anaconda they had decided at some point. An anaconda with blue hair.
"I eventually free myself, vow to make you all pay and then went to bed when Pietro rudely enters my room and you know the rest." She looked at the tops again and smothered a giggle. "Really?"
There were gentle footsteps before a bleary eyed Kurt walked in. He was in just his baggy trousers with a blanket over his shoulders as he rubbed sleep out of one golden eye. His tail swished back and forth slowly. "Warum sind wacher aller Sie?"
Pietro frowned. "Why...something...awake? My Germans not that great under stress."
Blinking slowly, his eyes seeming huge, Kurt smiled. "Warum sind wacher aller Sie?" He repeated slowly.
"He's asking why we're awake."
"Yo, say something then and get him back to bed."
"Err... Gehen Sie zurück zu Bett, wir besprechen Erwachsensachen."
Ears pricking, Kurt yawned and nodded before pausing at the door. "Go to sleep, your discussing adult things?" He translated and shook his head, padding off again and just escaping Wanda who had found the cat brush.
"He's too fast."
Looking through the door, Todd noticed that Kurt had just reached the foot of the stairs and was looking at them oddly.
Tabitha raised her eyebrows. "He looked too cute just there. That has to be illegally cute."
"And he's all mine." Teased Wanda as she left the room, stopping to look at Kurt who was curled up at the bottom of the steps. "Err, Fred?"
The big mutant took one look and then scooped up Kurt carefully. He went to deposit the mutant on Wanda's bed but realised the ethics behind it so put the mutant on the window seat.
Wisely, he retreated.
Downstairs, the mutants made plans on necessary supplies to survive a full scale Wanda War when she decided to have her revenge. Their secret weapon was going to be 'Kurt's Cuteness' as Tabitha had dubbed it.
Oddly enough, Pietro didn't seem so bothered now about Kurt.
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Since it was a school day, the previous night was possibly badly timed, although it did give the brotherhood a chance to experience what it was like to live with Kurt. Currently, Fred was cleaning up from the feast of a breakfast he had made, all of which was devoured and complimented upon.
"Wanda?" He called. "You have to keep Kurt here more often."
The Scarlet Witch laughed as she helped to rub said mutant dry with a towel. Tabitha was still using the hair dryer so the blue mutant had to be dried the old fashioned way. "Well next time you can help with this part – its hard work."
Kurt may have said something but it was so badly masked in a purr, it was debateable.
"Has the fridge gone off again or is it the -" Lance looked at the scene and stifled a laugh. He then blinked upon having a towel covered in blue hair thrown at him; the hairs immediately clung to his clothes.
"You can have a go at drying him – I've got to get ready."
"But -"
She produced a hex bolt.
"Yes Wanda." Lance obediently went and started towelling Kurt down, after a moment, he looked at the glaring blue mutant. An odd mix since the purr was still going. "You ok?"
"I don't like being treated like a child."
"Err; well if it's any consolation, I need the hair dryer too."
Kurt looked pointedly at the very little amount of hair Lance had compared to himself. "Uh huh."
"Err, here." He handed another towel over. "Does the hair actually ever come out of these after this?"
"Nein, but I'll purchase some new vuns and you can just keep zese here for next time." Kurt was more efficient at drying his fur and had managed to get his feet dry.
"Next time?" Pietro appeared in a blur and looked at Kurt critically. "You're cleaning the bath."
"Vhen I'm dry."
Pietro ran as fast as he could around Kurt, creating a whirlwind. He stopped finally and watched as the blue mutant staggered about on his fours before tripping over his tail. Then the fur just went...poof! And now stood directly on end.
"Ah! Brush! I need ze brush!" Kurt tried to pat his fur down before accepting the brushes off an extremely wet Todd.
"The water was cold and this was in the plug." He held up what appeared to be a blue gerbil.
"Err, traurig?" Kurt had his tail working on his back with one brush and both his hands where working on the rest of him. He already looked reasonably groomed.
"Well, you know, next time you clean the bath – I only have one a month."
Kurt paused. "You really should bathe more. If you do zen I'll clean ze bath."
"Deal."
Tabitha walked into the kitchen in disbelief that Todd was going to have more baths. She then looked at Kurt. "You're dry already, blue? I thought it took you ages in the mansion."
"Ja, but zere I had vun hair dryer but here I have two people helping to dry mein fur vith towels." He lifted one and gave it a shake, blue hair instantly coating over any immediate surface.
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"Kurt, you're like, still alive!" Kitty exclaimed as she spotted him by his locker. But then again, the hologram could be hiding a lot worse. "You are like, alright, right?"
"Danke for caring, but I'm fine, really." He flashed her a grin as he stretched, feeling better than he had in ages. It was like that though when he was given a good massage first thing in the morning.
Suddenly, all the girls seemed to have gathered. Rahne grinned at him, still wearing his shirt as she took a quick sniff. "You smell a lot like soap."
"Are you accusing me?" He laughed. "Look, I'll tell you all ze details at break."
Break seemed to come in seconds and Kurt found himself having to fend off the girls until he had eaten his break before he told them all that had happened. Well, his edited version.
"I go to ze Brotherhood house and it turns out zhat Lance had lied about ze marathon so zhat he could go to see some movie. So Wanda and I just chatted for a bit, zen she brushed mein fur and I embarrassingly fell asleep. Zhen I voke up, mumbled a load of German and fell asleep again but zhis time on ze stairs. Ze end."
"And this morning?" Jean prompted.
"Ah, ja, vell I got vashed and zen had to be towel dried since Tabitha had hogged ze hair drier. It vas a good massage though and I feel great – oh, and Fred's a great cook, ze breakfast vas brilliant and zen I came to school. Now its ze end."
Rogue nodded, like the rest of the girls, as if feeling just a little cheated. The Goth got to her feet and walked over to Wanda, determined to hear the full story and then relay that to the others.
Oh she could be cruel.
"So Wanda, what happened last night?"
"You mean after Kurt caught me in the shower?"
This was some story.
Please Review! Its so depressing seeing people with them in the hundreds and we don't have ten yet! #sobs hysterically#