Recap: Last off, Big Boss and Fox altered a video of Liquid, Snake and Raiden in an awkward moment. Now, they intend to leak this video out to the public. Snake is still trying to win Meryl back over.
WARNING: Contains spoilers for Snake Eater. You've been warned.
Hospital
Big Boss: What the hell is this, piss?
Nurse: Its apple juice.
Big Boss: I asked for a goddamn beer!
Nurse: This is a hospital, sir, we don't allow alcoholic beverages in here.
Big Boss: And you expect people to come back here?
Nurse: Unless they want to die.
Big Boss: Oh, I get what your little plan is. You drug us up and hire a guy to bash our legs after we get out, don't you? Chalk another point up for Outer Heaven, boy!
Fox: ... me?
Big Boss: Dammit Frank, you find that cream puff and you tell him to chalk up a point for Outer Heaven.
Fox: Understood. Commencing operation Find Fruit.
He leaves, sneaking out.
Nurse: If you don't want the juice, I can bring it back.
Big Boss: Give me the damn juice.
Otacon: Can I have some juice?
Outside
Liquid: Alright, it's go in, kick ass, and leave. Are we clear on that?
Snake: I gotcha.
Raiden: Can we go shopping on the way?
Liquid/Snake: No.
Raiden: You guys are mean. But I still like you!
Snake: The plural 'you', or were you only referring to Liquid?
Raiden: ... what?
Liquid: Give up, the boy doesn't understand half of the things we say. He smiles and utters some nonsensical crap about liking me. Observe.
Raiden: That was funny, I like Liquid!
Snake: I bet your father was a gay Russian lover to a fifty-some ex-boxing champion who piloted the original Metal Gear.
Liquid: Must you ruin the plot for Snake Eater?
Snake: Ocelot is ADAM.
Liquid: Shut the hell up!
Snake: Whatever, let's go.
Fox drops from a few floors up, landing on Liquid.
Fox: First objective, subduing target, accomplished.
Snake: And you're how old?
Raiden: No! You hurt Liquid!
He enters a ridiculous looking combat stance.
Fox: You have to be joking.
Raiden tornado kicks Fox, knocking him over.
Snake: That, I never saw coming.
Fox gets up.
Fox: That's it, you're going down, boy!
Raiden: I'm a black belt in three different martial arts!
Fox: I studied close quarter combat under Big Boss.
He puts his dukes up.
Snake: Well, since they're occupied...
Raiden throws a punch, which Fox grabs. He then breaks Raiden's arm, and flips him onto his back.
Fox: Got you.
He draws a berretta and levels it at Raiden's head.
Fox: Give my old man my regards... in Hell.
Hospital
Otacon: We need a way to show this to a lot of people at once.
Big Boss: I have a plan.
Otacon: Oh God...
Big Boss draws an MK22 hushpuppy.
Big Boss: I go out, randomly tranquillize civilians, and bring them to some sort of... house that you store wares in, and cut out their eyelids. Then, soak them in gasoline and threaten to burn them to death if they don't watch the video. Then torch the.
Otacon stares, utterly terrified.
Big Boss: Not enough?
Otacon: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Big Boss: Alright then. No sympathy for the innocent. How about I...
Otacon: NO! That was the most disturbing thing I EVER heard! Why- HOW could you do that to someone?
Big Boss: On the battlefield, sanity is nothing. After a week, no one is sane.
Otacon: God, you're evil!
Big Boss: Beat Snake Eater and say that.
Otacon: Isn't that a Lorenzo Lamas flick?
Big Boss' eye twitches.
Otacon: Never mind. How about you play it during that youth centre thing?
Big Boss: The youthful have a centre?
Otacon: You don't get out much.
Big Boss: I've been back in the country for a few months.
Otacon: Where are you usually at?
Big Boss: Selling my services to the highest bidder, killing Russians, forming a covert ops unit known only as FOX-HOUND, organizing and running a military nation somewhere in Africa, one in Asia... that's about it.
Otacon: You get around, don't you?
Big Boss: Yup.
He lights up a cigar.
Otacon: I don't think you can do that here.
Big Boss blows smoke in Otacon's face.
Otacon: You, sir, are baddass.
Big Boss: Yup. Let's get to that youth centre. Commencing Operation 'Youth Eater'.
Otacon: Can't you think of anything original?
Big Boss: Commencing Operation "Virtuous Centre."
Otacon: Again, you're only stealing from Snake Eater.
Big Boss: I thought you didn't know what it was?
Otacon: What?
Big Boss: Snake Eater.
Otacon: The movie?
Big Boss drops Otacon with CQC and leaves, snatching the tape.
Meryl's
Snake kicks an unconscious Liquid.
Snake: Wake up, blondie.
Liquid: What? Where are we?
Snake: Your new home.
Liquid gets up.
Liquid: Shut the Hell up.
Snake: Meryl's place.
Liquid: This is it? You used to talk about being at her place, but I always thought you made it up and nailed her in a trailer park.
Snake punches him in the face.
Liquid: Arg, Christ! Why are we even here?
Snake: Ocelot's inside.
Liquid: Really? I figured being in a house with a democratic colonel would bother him some.
Snake: Ocelot works for the CIA.
Liquid: SHUT UP.
Snake: Right, right.
Liquid kicks the door in and enters.
Snake: Alright, let's see how fast this goes.
Ocelot is thrown out of a window on the second story.
Snake: Not even fifteen seconds?
Liquid leaps out of the window, landing next to Ocelot.
Snake: This should be good.
Youth Centre
Solidus: Everybody, get ready for the party tonight, we can't have anyone fall behind.
Fortune: You mean in the literal sense, or fall behind in the schedule.
Solidus: ... you're being serious aren't you?
Fortune: Yes, why wouldn't I be?
Solidus: Hey, Vamp.
Vamp: What is it, boss?
Solidus: Entertain the brilliant young lady for the rest of the evening. I want to make the deadline.
Fortune: That was rude.
Solidus: No, it wasn't.
Fortune: My bad.
Solidus: Hey, Raven!
Raven: My name is Larry, thank you very much.
Solidus: Shut the hell up and get the sound system working.
Raven: (muttering) Damn white man...
Solidus: Mantis! Stop floating around and get to work!
Mantis: You actually expect me to lift this thing?
He gestures to a large speaker.
Solidus: Lift it with your mind, dumbass!
Mantis (flipping off Solidus) Lift this...
Meryl struts in.
Meryl: Hey, have you seen Snake?
Solidus: If he isn't with you, I don't have any damn clue as to where he is.
Meryl: If you see him, tell him to stop by at my place.
Solidus: Whatever.
Meryl: See ya then.
Hospital
Fox: Damn, he's gone. Where the hell could Snake have dragged him?
He drops to one knee and presses his hand against his ear.
Fox: This is Frank.
Big Boss: (via codec) What do you want?
Fox: The fruit ran off with Dave.
Big Boss: What about Raikov?
Fox: ... a Russian?
Big Boss: The blonder kid!
Fox: Oh, I iced him.
Raiden: No you didn't.
Fox: ... I'll call you back.
He gets up and turns around.
Fox: I won't ask, but you damn well better explain.
Raiden: Do you know where Meryl lives?
Fox: How could that be relevant to anything, in any way?
Raiden: That's where Liquid went. Do you know how to get there?
Fox: Yes. Yes I do.
He caps Raiden.
Fox: Meryl's place, eh?
Street
Big Boss is jogging down a street, wearing his Snake camo. A car swerves out in front of him and hits the brakes.
Big Boss: Learn to drive, asshole!
He makes a rude gesture. The door opens and a man with a brilliant resemblance to Raiden comes out.
Big Boss: Raikov?!
Raikov: Snake, I've been looking for you. For over twenty years, really.
Big Boss: I bet. My ass is just that fine, is it?
Raikov: Fine as your ass is, I'm here to avenge the colonel!
Big Boss: Volgin? You want revenge for that sadist freak?
Raikov: He was my one and only.
Big Boss: I may have figured that out when he rearranged my face. Wait, didn't I blow your ass away with a shotgun?
Raikov: You blew smoke in my face.
Big Boss: Ah, right. The cigar with the knockout gas. I loved that thing. Then I smoked it accidentally... the rest is kind of hazy... the boys had to live in a foster home for a while.
Raikov: You have kids?
Big Boss: Yup. An older boy and twins. The one is kinda off though, may or may not be interested in the same gender. A HOMOsexual, you could say.
Raikov: Are you making fun of me?
Big Boss: That depends... on what you like going up your ass.
Raikov: That's it! Let's go!
He enters the same stance as Raiden.
Big Boss: Now I'll show you why I earned the code 'Big Boss'.
He enters his combat stance.
Raikov: Did you sleep with the President?
Big Boss: Wha- No! I didn't even want to shake his damn hand!
Raikov: The President shook your hand for killing Volgin?!
Big Boss: Volgin and... wait, why am I not killing you?
Big Boss equips the Raiden Mask.
Raikov: Whoa...
He walks up to Big Boss.
Raikov: What a beautiful man...
Big Boss throws a few punches into Raikov's face, then spin kicks him off his feet. The older man takes off the mask and tosses it to Raikov, who gets up.
Raikov: That was a dirty trick.
Big Boss: On the battlefield, you can... why the hell am I coaching you? I'm going to kill you!
Raikov: Try me!
He throws a punch at Big Boss, who blocks it and sends another one into the blond man's face, then grabs a hold of his arm. He kicks him in the stomach savagely, and darts around behind him. He equips the survival knife and brings it to Raikov's neck.
Big Boss: Speak!
Raikov: I once made love to a bird!
Big Boss slits his throat.
Big Boss: No wonder The End was so pissed of...
Something deceptive is afoot, and Snake may be in for a surprise. Next time, in the final chapter.
TO BE CONTINUED