Teenage Wasteland
END
Recap: Big Boss is heading towards the youth centre to humiliate two of his sons. Fox is chasing Liquid, who is currently beating Ocelot like a drum. Raiden is a moron, and Meryl is up to something.
Meryl's
Liquid takes a shot to the face, then throws a hook into Ocelot's cheek. The two of them step back, and draw handguns.
Ocelot: This is the Colt Single Action Army. With six shots, it had more than enough stopping power to kill anything that screws.
Snake: Liquid, hear that? You can't lose
Liquid: Shut the hell up!
Snake snickers.
Liquid: This is the Berretta M93R, with three-round bursts. Make my day, commie.
A tranquillizer dart strikes Liquid in the neck.
Liquid: Mommy?
He falls, unconscious. Fox steps over.
Fox: Mission, accomplished. Time to take you to back to the old man.
Snake: That's genius. I'm about to win Meryl back and you shoot him in the neck?
Ocelot: HA! Like you could have won her over me!
A tranq dart strikes him in the neck.
Ocelot: Ah, dammit...
He passes out.
Fox: Look, if you had to use THAT piece of work to win her over, you're better off without. What the hell were you going to do anyway? Lend him to her, and seem better by comparison?
Snake: Well, I was using to kill her current boyfriend, actually.
Fox: ...
Snake: ...
Fox: How in the hell did you expect that to work?
Snake lights up a smoke.
Snake: He kills Ocelot, she loses all respect for him.
Fox: He's dead, all the while, and you thought she'd come running back to you?
Snake: Good point.
Fox: Let's drag the fruit off to the old man.
They start dragging him off.
Snake: How'd you find us, anyway?
Fox: The other kid told me.
Snake: Raiden? How is he?
Fox: Not that bad, last I saw...
Youth Centre
Solidus: Alright, we have everything set up. Anybody got anything to say before I get the hell away from you freaks?
Wolf: You're old man is running this way.
Solidus: Really?
Fortune: Yup, got some blood on his coat too.
Solidus: Well, he's having one of his war flashbacks. Hold on a second.
He gets on the stage and grabs a microphone.
Solidus: Everyone, please pay attention. My psychotic and armed old man is running this way, looking for hallucinated Communists to kill. That's all of you. Please evacuate in an orderly fashion.
Vamp: OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
The entire room panics and floods out of the building.
Solidus: Showing down with the old man, eh? Wish I had my suit on.
He draws his F90 riffle.
Solidus: Ah well.
Outside
Big Boss: Where in the hell is everyone going?
He steps inside and looks about. Then begins to sprint across the room as his son opens fire on him. He upturns a table and ducks under it.
Solidus: Like hell you are!
He blows away the table. All that remains is a cardboard with plumes of smoke coming out of it.
Solidus: Huh, where'd he go?
Big Boss flips the box over and lobs an incendiary white phosphorous grenade at his son.
Solidus: Oh, shit!
Solidus jumps off the stage and rolls under a table. He reloads and looks around for his old man.
Solidus: Gone??
A grenade rolls under the table.
Solidus: Shit!
He dives out from under the table and starts sprinting towards the front door. He stops dead when he sees a few C4 planted around the door.
Solidus: No way!
Big Boss jumps on a table across the room, armed with an M63. He opens fire.
Big Boss: HAAAAAAA!!!
Solidus ducks for cover, exchanging gunfire with his old man. He lobs a stun grenade over, catching his old man off guard. The C4 on the wall behind him explodes, throwing him over a few chairs.
Solidus: Damn... he earned that codename...
Big Boss looms over him with his M63.
Big Boss: Don't move, punk.
Hospital
Snake: Why's there a big patch of blood right here?
Fox: Hell is I know. Let's get him inside.
Snake: Wait a second.
Snake kicksLiquid in the head.
Snake: Get up!
Liquid sits up, confused.
Liquid: Wha..? God, I HATE being knocked out! What happened to Ocelot?
Snake: Uh, you kicked his ass.
Liquid: Really?
Fox: Yup. And he killed that kid in the process.
Liquid: Hot damn!
He gets up.
Liquid: Let's get over to the Youth Centre. There's a big party going on over there.
Fox: First things first... chalk up a point for Outer Heaven!
Liquid: What?
Fox: Do it.
Liquid: Whatever.
He chalks up a point for Outer Heaven.
Snake: A party? With booze?
Liquid: Obviously no booze, it's mostly teens.
Fox: That means to get loaded before you show up. Anyhow, I'd better report to the old man.
He drops onto one knee.
Fox: Big Boss, this is Frank. Mission, accomplished.
He gets up.
Fox We're good to go.
Snake: I wonder is Meryl's going to show up?
Liquid: Like that matters.
Snake: Shut up.
Centre
Big Boss: What have we got here? You on drugs, boy? If you are, so help me God..!
Solidus: I'm not on anything! I thought you went psycho!
Big Boss: What the hell would've given you that impression?
Solidus: You running like a lunatic in the middle of the street, shirt bloody and toting a gun? Thought you were having a war flashback.
Big Boss: Hey, the gun and the blood are because I killed an old friend of mine.
Solidus: An old friend you thought died in the Cold War, and mysteriously just showed up and threatened your life?
Big Boss: That's what happened.
Solidus: You're a piece of work, old man. Take your pills recently?
Big Boss: No. Unlike you, I have a moral objection to sticking pills in my mouth and gagging them down.
Solidus twitches.
Solidus: Why are you scarring me?!
Big Boss: Don't like scars? How about killing the woman you thought of as your mother on a whim, because your country was embarrassed that they screwed up an international affair?!
Solidus: Damn the Patriots!
Big Boss: What was that?
Solidus: Uh, nothing. So, what are you doing here?
Big Boss: I got a video for you to play at the party tonight.
Solidus: ... right.
Big Boss helps his son up and gives him the video.
Big Boss: Wait for Dave to show up before you play that, alright?
He leaves. Solidus looks at the mess they made out of the Centre. Flames off to one corner, the door gone, tables and chairs upturned and shot to pieces...
Solidus: Well, better get on the phone.
Street
Fox: Hold on a second.
Liquid: Now what is it? I want to brag about beating the commie into submission.
Snake: Yeah, what's with the holdup?
Fox lowers his gun.
Fox: Sorry, reflex. Like I was saying, I've got to pick up my girl.
Liquid: The Czech exchange student? That, uh...
Snake: Natasha.
Liquid: Right, that Natasha girl?
Fox: Yes.
Snake: Alright, whatever.
Liquid: What's the problem, Dave? Ashamed your girlfriend dumped you?
Snake: Not as ashamed as you ought to be. Half of the town thinks you're gay.
Liquid: ... shut the hell up.
Fox: She lives right here. I'll be a minute.
He goes up to the door.
Liquid: So...
Snake: Yup...
Liquid: Do anything, uh, interesting lately?
Snake: I pissed all over your bed so the old man'll think you wet the bed.
Liquid: ... bastard.
Fox and Natasha walk up.
Natasha: Hey guys!
Liquid: Hey.
Snake: Ms. Markova...
Fox: Let's get this done.
Centre
Solidus: Alright, the old man tore the whole thing down. We're restarting from scratch.
The crowd gives an audible groan.
Mantis: Are you serious?!
Solidus: YES. NOW GET TO WORK!!
The crows gets to work, pissed off.
Solidus: I love my job.
Street
The group came upon the body of Raikov.
Fox: Looks like the kid.
He crouches next to the corpse.
Fox: Throat was slit. Died of massive blood loss...
Natasha: That's the most horrible thing I've ever seen!
Snake: My childhood would've driven you insane.
Liquid: My life would drive you insane.
Snake notices the Raiden Mask next to him.
Snake: I'm not even going to guess what happened...
Liquid: I'd say that someone was raped.
Natasha: Oh my god!
Snake: Shut the hell up, Liquid...
Fox: I guess we'll never know what happened.
Big Boss walks by.
Big Boss: I killed him.
He keeps on walking.
Fox: Well, this chapter of our lives is coming to a close. Let's get to that party.
Big Boss comes back.
Big Boss: Forgot my mask.
He picks it up.
Big Boss: So, where are you kids heading?
Snake: We're off to that party.
Liquid: Yup.
Big Boss: You kids stay out of trouble.
Snake: Of course.
Big Boss: If you get tanked, don't have sex in my house.
He leaves.
Natasha: Was that last bit at me?
Later that night, at the PARTY!!!
Natasha and Fox are making out near Snake and Liquid.
Snake: This is so dull...
Liquid: Well, no ones propositioned me yet, so I can't complain.
Snake: Only men proposition you.
Liquid: That's why the night is going so well.
Raven walks up.
Raven: Hello, boss. I, uh...
Liquid: I'm not gay.
Raven: Damn.
He walks away.
Snake: You poor bastard.
Liquid: Shut up.
Rose walks up.
Rose: Hey! Have you guys seen Jack? I've been looking for him for a few minutes. He said he was going to show up.
Liquid: I haven't seen him.
Snake: Neither have I.
Rose: Ah, man. Oh well, I'll ask that guy with the knives.
She walks off.
Liquid: Heh, she doesn't even realize Ocelot offed him.
Snake: Uh, yeah... Ocelot.
Liquid: Don't look now, Meryl's heading this way.
Snake: Meryl?!
He goes off to talk to her.
Liquid: Damn.
Mei-Ling walks up.
Mei: Hey Liquid!
Liquid: Hey.
Mei: I've had way too much to drink! Wanna screw?
Liquid: Yes.
With Snake
Snake: Uh, Meryl...
Meryl: Dave! There you are! I've been looking all over for you.
Snake: Really? This doesn't have anything to do with Ocelot, right?
Meryl: I haven't seen him in a while. But, being with him made me realize something.
Snake: And that is?
Meryl: I love you.
She starts to kiss him. Snake makes a victory gesture behind her back.
Solidus: May I have everyone's attention?
Everyone turns to Solidus.
Snake: What the hell does he want?
Solidus clears his throat.
Solidus: Before this popular contemporary rock group performs, I've been asked to play this video. Here goes.
He plays the video.
Snake: ... oh, God...
Snake Residence
Big Boss is sitting in a recliner, drinking.
Big Boss: I like to think of myself as a good father.
He lights up a cigar.
FIN