Chapter Five
To my reviewers: You guys rock! As one of you knows, reviews make me SOOOO happy! I've been ecstatic for about 4 days straight now. You guys should get medals or something!!!
Warning: I have had 2 cups of coffee, and it was NOT decaf, so BEWARE!!! Weird things happen when I am god, especially a hyper god.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah blah, everyone either owns themselves or Tolkien owns them (.
Oh, p.s. I'm going roughly by the movie version of LOTR. Unless I don't feel like it. Teehee.
Chapter Five
The next morning
"Carolyn, will you help me carry Fabio?" begged Kelsey. They had been hiking for about an hour, and she felt like she was going to die.
"Uhhhh, NO!"
"Jenneva?"
"You were the one who decided to bring him along, you can be responsible for him," was the sadistic response.
"Well...fine then! I don't need your help! I can do this all on my own! I'll be his father and his mother, you bastards!"
With this, Kelsey took out a roll of duct tape from her purse, and started to wrap it around the baby carrier.
"Kelsey, what is that strange substance, and what are you doing with it?" asked Pippin naively.
"It's duct tape, Pippin. The one duct tape, to rule them ALL!!!"
This brought odd looks from all of the hobbits, especially Frodo, who was reminded of what Gandalf had said about the One Ring.
Kelsey ignored all of the looks and hoisted the baby carrier onto her back, where she duct taped it to her torso and shoulders. Looking satisfied, she continued to walk.
"She could have just put it onto Bill, he wouldn't have minded," said Sam.
"Shut up Samwise Gamgee, or I'll tell your gaffer on you!" yelled Kelsey. "I can do this on my own."
The group heaved a collective sigh, shrugged their shoulders and went along their merry way. Even Merry. (A/N: Do you see the caffeine effect yet?)
About an hour later, Pippin (or was it Merry? An Orlando-shaped chocolate- mmmm, chocolate-cookie to whoever reviews and tells me!) started to complain that he was hungry. Kelsey, Jenneva and Carolyn knew what was coming, and they were hungry, too. They hunched over, readying themselves to catch the flying food that was to come. A juicy red apple flew back, and the three girls jumped for it. Carolyn caught it, and took a big bite out of it to prevent anyone from stealing it. Kelsey and Jenneva pouted, but their attention was soon brought to the next apple flying through the air like a graceful big chunky red apple butterfly. Jenneva leaped and caught this one, making Kelsey scream in outrage.
"One more, Aragorn!"
No apples or replies followed.
"Please? Sniffle, sniffle, pout pout."
Kelsey hung her head and tramped forward. Suddenly, and apple flew through the air and hit her in the head, almost knocking her over. Luckily, Sam grabbed her before she could fall.
"My hero!" Kelsey gave Sam a kiss on the cheek, making him blush bright red. She giggled and headed forward.
Hours later, at Weathertop
The hobbits were given swords, but the girls remained weaponless, which they complained bitterly about.
"Oh, so when-I mean, if we get attacked, our lives are completely forfeit if the hobbits-who have NO military training whatsoever, though Sam is rather impressive with a frying pan, fail?" Fumed Kelsey.
"That's so sexist!" mumbled Jenneva.
"Stupid bastards? How are we supposed to protect Frodo?" asked Carolyn.
"Women do not fight," was all Aragorn said, before heading out to scout. The girls were so mad that they forgot to tell Aragorn he was going to scout in the wrong direction. Stupid sexist idiot.
When it began to get dark, Jenneva warned the hobbits about the fire. "You guys, DO NOT start a fire, the ringwraiths will come and stab you with knives."
"Pointy knives," added Carolyn.
"That burn with the fires of a thousand evils," said Kelsey prophetically (A/N: Oh yeah, baby. It's a word.)
The hobbits looked frightened. Satisfied, the girls lay down to sleep, they hadn't slept well the night before (hel-LO, there were four hobbits and a hot ranger in the room with them-plus an electronic baby.) and were very tired.
The girls were rudely awakened by Fabio (the baby if you haven't figured it out by now) crying and yelling like Godzilla. The hobbits looked guilty from across the plateau. (A/N: Oh yeah, spelled it right in ONE try!!! sorry, caffeine)
"We just wanted to look at him, miss Kelsey...."
"YOU TIPPED HIS FREAKING HEAD BACK!!! AND I AM NOT-REPEAT NOT-TAKING OUT HIS BATTERIES! I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH TO KILL HIM, EVEN IF HE'S GONNA CRY FOR AN HOUR SINCE YOU'VE ABUSED HIM!"
"We're sorry, miss Kelsey, we've just never really gotten the opportunity to see very many babies, and-" Sam was interrupted by Kelsey.
"Sam, I had more trust in you! How could you do this to me?" Kelsey broke down sobbing, leaving a bewildered looking Sam and confused other peoples. The scene was interrupted by a screeching sound that Carolyn recognized instantly.
"The ringwraiths have found us!"
A/N: OOOHHHH, a CLIFFHANGER.... Kinda....sorry about the caffeine bursts, if this chapter seems weird, ITS NOT MY FAULT, it's the caffeine's!!!! How could it do this to me? Teehee. The periwinkle-purple button down there looks lonely....give it a click, then make me less lonely and write something in the preety box. Tank oo!
P.S. read my buddy (the actual Carolyn from my story) Rohanshieldbitch's story too, I'm in it and its funny. Funnier than mine, sniff. Oh, and I'm being dragged on a nine-day camping trip with a Canadian (no offense to Canadians, of course) to survey a tiny island with 26 other people (including Carolyn and Jenneva) So I'm not able to update for those nine days because THERE IS NO ELECTRICITY UP THERE EXCEPT FOR IN THE KITCHENS. If I never update again, it is because I have died from lack of electricity. THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!!
To my reviewers: You guys rock! As one of you knows, reviews make me SOOOO happy! I've been ecstatic for about 4 days straight now. You guys should get medals or something!!!
Warning: I have had 2 cups of coffee, and it was NOT decaf, so BEWARE!!! Weird things happen when I am god, especially a hyper god.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah blah, everyone either owns themselves or Tolkien owns them (.
Oh, p.s. I'm going roughly by the movie version of LOTR. Unless I don't feel like it. Teehee.
Chapter Five
The next morning
"Carolyn, will you help me carry Fabio?" begged Kelsey. They had been hiking for about an hour, and she felt like she was going to die.
"Uhhhh, NO!"
"Jenneva?"
"You were the one who decided to bring him along, you can be responsible for him," was the sadistic response.
"Well...fine then! I don't need your help! I can do this all on my own! I'll be his father and his mother, you bastards!"
With this, Kelsey took out a roll of duct tape from her purse, and started to wrap it around the baby carrier.
"Kelsey, what is that strange substance, and what are you doing with it?" asked Pippin naively.
"It's duct tape, Pippin. The one duct tape, to rule them ALL!!!"
This brought odd looks from all of the hobbits, especially Frodo, who was reminded of what Gandalf had said about the One Ring.
Kelsey ignored all of the looks and hoisted the baby carrier onto her back, where she duct taped it to her torso and shoulders. Looking satisfied, she continued to walk.
"She could have just put it onto Bill, he wouldn't have minded," said Sam.
"Shut up Samwise Gamgee, or I'll tell your gaffer on you!" yelled Kelsey. "I can do this on my own."
The group heaved a collective sigh, shrugged their shoulders and went along their merry way. Even Merry. (A/N: Do you see the caffeine effect yet?)
About an hour later, Pippin (or was it Merry? An Orlando-shaped chocolate- mmmm, chocolate-cookie to whoever reviews and tells me!) started to complain that he was hungry. Kelsey, Jenneva and Carolyn knew what was coming, and they were hungry, too. They hunched over, readying themselves to catch the flying food that was to come. A juicy red apple flew back, and the three girls jumped for it. Carolyn caught it, and took a big bite out of it to prevent anyone from stealing it. Kelsey and Jenneva pouted, but their attention was soon brought to the next apple flying through the air like a graceful big chunky red apple butterfly. Jenneva leaped and caught this one, making Kelsey scream in outrage.
"One more, Aragorn!"
No apples or replies followed.
"Please? Sniffle, sniffle, pout pout."
Kelsey hung her head and tramped forward. Suddenly, and apple flew through the air and hit her in the head, almost knocking her over. Luckily, Sam grabbed her before she could fall.
"My hero!" Kelsey gave Sam a kiss on the cheek, making him blush bright red. She giggled and headed forward.
Hours later, at Weathertop
The hobbits were given swords, but the girls remained weaponless, which they complained bitterly about.
"Oh, so when-I mean, if we get attacked, our lives are completely forfeit if the hobbits-who have NO military training whatsoever, though Sam is rather impressive with a frying pan, fail?" Fumed Kelsey.
"That's so sexist!" mumbled Jenneva.
"Stupid bastards? How are we supposed to protect Frodo?" asked Carolyn.
"Women do not fight," was all Aragorn said, before heading out to scout. The girls were so mad that they forgot to tell Aragorn he was going to scout in the wrong direction. Stupid sexist idiot.
When it began to get dark, Jenneva warned the hobbits about the fire. "You guys, DO NOT start a fire, the ringwraiths will come and stab you with knives."
"Pointy knives," added Carolyn.
"That burn with the fires of a thousand evils," said Kelsey prophetically (A/N: Oh yeah, baby. It's a word.)
The hobbits looked frightened. Satisfied, the girls lay down to sleep, they hadn't slept well the night before (hel-LO, there were four hobbits and a hot ranger in the room with them-plus an electronic baby.) and were very tired.
The girls were rudely awakened by Fabio (the baby if you haven't figured it out by now) crying and yelling like Godzilla. The hobbits looked guilty from across the plateau. (A/N: Oh yeah, spelled it right in ONE try!!! sorry, caffeine)
"We just wanted to look at him, miss Kelsey...."
"YOU TIPPED HIS FREAKING HEAD BACK!!! AND I AM NOT-REPEAT NOT-TAKING OUT HIS BATTERIES! I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH TO KILL HIM, EVEN IF HE'S GONNA CRY FOR AN HOUR SINCE YOU'VE ABUSED HIM!"
"We're sorry, miss Kelsey, we've just never really gotten the opportunity to see very many babies, and-" Sam was interrupted by Kelsey.
"Sam, I had more trust in you! How could you do this to me?" Kelsey broke down sobbing, leaving a bewildered looking Sam and confused other peoples. The scene was interrupted by a screeching sound that Carolyn recognized instantly.
"The ringwraiths have found us!"
A/N: OOOHHHH, a CLIFFHANGER.... Kinda....sorry about the caffeine bursts, if this chapter seems weird, ITS NOT MY FAULT, it's the caffeine's!!!! How could it do this to me? Teehee. The periwinkle-purple button down there looks lonely....give it a click, then make me less lonely and write something in the preety box. Tank oo!
P.S. read my buddy (the actual Carolyn from my story) Rohanshieldbitch's story too, I'm in it and its funny. Funnier than mine, sniff. Oh, and I'm being dragged on a nine-day camping trip with a Canadian (no offense to Canadians, of course) to survey a tiny island with 26 other people (including Carolyn and Jenneva) So I'm not able to update for those nine days because THERE IS NO ELECTRICITY UP THERE EXCEPT FOR IN THE KITCHENS. If I never update again, it is because I have died from lack of electricity. THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!!