Chapter Six
Disclaimer: see one of the previous chapters; there should be a couple around there somewhere.
To the reviewers: KELLY BE PATIENT!!! IF U POKE ME ONE MORE TIME U DON'T GET TO BE IN THE STORY AT ALL!!!! ARG, SO EVERYONE ELSE, YAY. I LOVE YOU.
Previous chapter: The ringwraiths have found us!
Oh No
Chapter Six
"AAHHHHH!" screamed Kelsey, clutching her baby to her chest. Sam, feeling guilty, stepped in front of Kelsey to protect her.
As the wraiths began to close in on the group, Carolyn came charging towards the wraiths, brandishing a hairbrush.
"If you touch my Frodo I'll kill you!"
The wraiths ignored her, their attention riveted on Frodo.
Jenneva picked a rock and threw it at the wraiths, making Kelsey laugh like a loon.
"Ha ha ha, we will bash your brains out with rocks! And squish your noses! Wait, you don't even have noses! Or do you, you were sniffing out the hobbits before...."
"Shut up, Kelsey!" yelled Jenneva.
At that point, the wraiths had forced the group into a tight circle, with Frodo at the center. As the wraiths were poised to attack, Strider jumped in brandishing a branch of fire. Two of the wraiths caught on fire, and fled Weathertop. But one was dangerously close to Frodo. Jenneva saw this, and as the wraith's sword started to stab towards Frodo, she jumped in slow motion to block the blade.
In deep slow motion voice "NoOoOoOoO!"
Jenneva was stabbed right where Frodo had been, in the left shoulder. As Strider finished chasing off the wimpy ringwraiths, Kelsey and Carolyn rushed towards Jenneva.
Kelsey: "Oh my god, Jenneva! It stabbed you with a knife!"
Carolyn: "A pointy knife!"
Both: "That burned with the fires of a thousand evils!" (www.legendaryfrog.com)
"We must get Jenneva to Rivendell. She needs elvish medicine," said Strider.
Kelsey and Carolyn started sobbing. Kelsey held her hand, and stroked it, murmuring reassurances.
"It's ok, everything will be fine, don't worry, Arwen will save you, or Glorfindel, or Gandalf, or someone else will, don't you worry, you'll be just fine, Everything is all right, okey-dokey, peachy-keen-"
"Shut up, Kelsey!" yelled Carolyn, obviously pms-ing.
The company loaded up their bags (Fabio was duct taped to Bill, now) and took off towards Rivendell. The next few days were hell, Carolyn was constantly repeating, "Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?......"
Jenneva was constantly getting worse, and the ringwraiths were still following them. Just when everyone was ready to break down, two people appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, on horseback. One Kelsey recognized as Liv Tyler, aka Arwen, but the other's face Kelsey couldn't place.
"Dude Carolyn, the elves are here to save us!" exclaimed Kelsey in relief.
The unknown elf spoke up first.
"Greetings. I am Glorfindel, at your service. I have been sent to escort you-"
"No," interrupted Arwen. "I was sent to escort you to Rivendell."
"No you weren't, just because your father is Elrond doesn't mean that you get all of the special privileges-"
"Yes it does, you stupid fuck. The only thing you're good for is $%&#!"
Now the two elves were skirmishing, calling each other various names, some in another language Kelsey and Carolyn assumed was elvish. At random intervals they would also turn their attention to the group, assuring them that they were the ones sent by Elrond to collect them. After about 7 minutes, Carolyn got angry.
"Shut the fuck up! It doesn't fucking matter who was sent, one of you just take Jenneva to Rivendell so she doesn't die!"
This made Arwen and Glorfindel blush, and they started mumbling about how they were just about to do that and only got a little sidetracked.
"Put her on a fucking horse and go to Rivendell."
This almost started another argument about who was going to take her, but Carolyn took out her evil glare. Under that gaze, all was silent. Kelsey had been thinking, and it would make most sense for Arwen to take Jenneva to Rivendell. It had worked in the movie, and that way Jenneva wouldn't be alone, un-chaperoned with a man-uh, elf....a guy with a penis. Also, Arwen and Aragorn couldn't get into trouble if they were separated. Kelsey smirked, and spoke up.
"Okay, people. Glorfindel takes Jenneva to Rivendell. In the movie he got his part stolen, so now he gets to relinquish it. Arwen then will stay with us, and get acquainted to how a baby works. I assure you, it will come in handy," said Kelsey when Arwen gave her a questioning look. Her response to that look brought an even odder look from Aragorn, wish turned to a blush under Kelsey's steady gaze. Everything in place, Kelsey put her plan into action.
"Okay then, get going Glorfy. Teehee, I like that name. You shall be my Glorfy and I shall have you every night."
Jenneva heard this, and laugh weakly, a laugh that turned into a cough. Kelsey heard, and went to her side.
"May the mop be with you, my friend."
With that, Jenneva was loaded onto Glorfindel's horse. Aragorn went about the business of warning Glorfy about the wraiths, while Kelsey and Carolyn sobbed and waved handkerchiefs in farewell.
"Have a safe journey. Don't pick up any hitchhikers. If you run out of gas, just-"
Carolyn put a hand over Kelsey's mouth and kept waving her hanky, watching as Jenneva and Glorfindel rode off into the distance.
Disclaimer: see one of the previous chapters; there should be a couple around there somewhere.
To the reviewers: KELLY BE PATIENT!!! IF U POKE ME ONE MORE TIME U DON'T GET TO BE IN THE STORY AT ALL!!!! ARG, SO EVERYONE ELSE, YAY. I LOVE YOU.
Previous chapter: The ringwraiths have found us!
Oh No
Chapter Six
"AAHHHHH!" screamed Kelsey, clutching her baby to her chest. Sam, feeling guilty, stepped in front of Kelsey to protect her.
As the wraiths began to close in on the group, Carolyn came charging towards the wraiths, brandishing a hairbrush.
"If you touch my Frodo I'll kill you!"
The wraiths ignored her, their attention riveted on Frodo.
Jenneva picked a rock and threw it at the wraiths, making Kelsey laugh like a loon.
"Ha ha ha, we will bash your brains out with rocks! And squish your noses! Wait, you don't even have noses! Or do you, you were sniffing out the hobbits before...."
"Shut up, Kelsey!" yelled Jenneva.
At that point, the wraiths had forced the group into a tight circle, with Frodo at the center. As the wraiths were poised to attack, Strider jumped in brandishing a branch of fire. Two of the wraiths caught on fire, and fled Weathertop. But one was dangerously close to Frodo. Jenneva saw this, and as the wraith's sword started to stab towards Frodo, she jumped in slow motion to block the blade.
In deep slow motion voice "NoOoOoOoO!"
Jenneva was stabbed right where Frodo had been, in the left shoulder. As Strider finished chasing off the wimpy ringwraiths, Kelsey and Carolyn rushed towards Jenneva.
Kelsey: "Oh my god, Jenneva! It stabbed you with a knife!"
Carolyn: "A pointy knife!"
Both: "That burned with the fires of a thousand evils!" (www.legendaryfrog.com)
"We must get Jenneva to Rivendell. She needs elvish medicine," said Strider.
Kelsey and Carolyn started sobbing. Kelsey held her hand, and stroked it, murmuring reassurances.
"It's ok, everything will be fine, don't worry, Arwen will save you, or Glorfindel, or Gandalf, or someone else will, don't you worry, you'll be just fine, Everything is all right, okey-dokey, peachy-keen-"
"Shut up, Kelsey!" yelled Carolyn, obviously pms-ing.
The company loaded up their bags (Fabio was duct taped to Bill, now) and took off towards Rivendell. The next few days were hell, Carolyn was constantly repeating, "Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?...... Are we there yet?......"
Jenneva was constantly getting worse, and the ringwraiths were still following them. Just when everyone was ready to break down, two people appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, on horseback. One Kelsey recognized as Liv Tyler, aka Arwen, but the other's face Kelsey couldn't place.
"Dude Carolyn, the elves are here to save us!" exclaimed Kelsey in relief.
The unknown elf spoke up first.
"Greetings. I am Glorfindel, at your service. I have been sent to escort you-"
"No," interrupted Arwen. "I was sent to escort you to Rivendell."
"No you weren't, just because your father is Elrond doesn't mean that you get all of the special privileges-"
"Yes it does, you stupid fuck. The only thing you're good for is $%&#!"
Now the two elves were skirmishing, calling each other various names, some in another language Kelsey and Carolyn assumed was elvish. At random intervals they would also turn their attention to the group, assuring them that they were the ones sent by Elrond to collect them. After about 7 minutes, Carolyn got angry.
"Shut the fuck up! It doesn't fucking matter who was sent, one of you just take Jenneva to Rivendell so she doesn't die!"
This made Arwen and Glorfindel blush, and they started mumbling about how they were just about to do that and only got a little sidetracked.
"Put her on a fucking horse and go to Rivendell."
This almost started another argument about who was going to take her, but Carolyn took out her evil glare. Under that gaze, all was silent. Kelsey had been thinking, and it would make most sense for Arwen to take Jenneva to Rivendell. It had worked in the movie, and that way Jenneva wouldn't be alone, un-chaperoned with a man-uh, elf....a guy with a penis. Also, Arwen and Aragorn couldn't get into trouble if they were separated. Kelsey smirked, and spoke up.
"Okay, people. Glorfindel takes Jenneva to Rivendell. In the movie he got his part stolen, so now he gets to relinquish it. Arwen then will stay with us, and get acquainted to how a baby works. I assure you, it will come in handy," said Kelsey when Arwen gave her a questioning look. Her response to that look brought an even odder look from Aragorn, wish turned to a blush under Kelsey's steady gaze. Everything in place, Kelsey put her plan into action.
"Okay then, get going Glorfy. Teehee, I like that name. You shall be my Glorfy and I shall have you every night."
Jenneva heard this, and laugh weakly, a laugh that turned into a cough. Kelsey heard, and went to her side.
"May the mop be with you, my friend."
With that, Jenneva was loaded onto Glorfindel's horse. Aragorn went about the business of warning Glorfy about the wraiths, while Kelsey and Carolyn sobbed and waved handkerchiefs in farewell.
"Have a safe journey. Don't pick up any hitchhikers. If you run out of gas, just-"
Carolyn put a hand over Kelsey's mouth and kept waving her hanky, watching as Jenneva and Glorfindel rode off into the distance.