Inu-yasha woke the next morning with a crick in the neck. OK, so maybe the headbanging wasn't such a good idea after all... But what the hell, it had been fun. And Yoko was a wonderful girl, nice and funny and interesting. She had worked in Japan for two years, so they had spoken some Japanese – Yoko laughing and excusing her terrible accent which was in fact pretty OK (at least by comparison to Miroku, to pick an example at random - and that guy had lived his entire earlier life in Japan, for Christ's sake) – and discussed mythology from the Feudal Period. (Inu-yasha knew a lot about this, for natural reasons.) They'd had a great time, and Inu-yasha was starting to feel that maybe Miroku's idea hadn't been that bad when it came down to it. And speaking of the devil...
"Good morning Casanova!" yelled Miroku, bouncing into Inu-yasha's room with tray of breakfast. "Did you have a good time yesterday? You lady-killer – Yoko was absolutely smitten with you!"
"Yeah whatever, Miroku," laughed Inu-yasha. "Don't be in such a hurry to jump to conclusions. She isn't the type of girl who'd fall in love with someone after meeting them for the first time."
"You seem to have her pretty much figured out," said Miroku with a wink. "Admit it now, you old dog – you are interested, aren't you?"
"She's a great girl," said Inu-yasha calmly. "But I'm in love with Kagome. Remember?" He grinned at his friend, who had suddenly deflated.
"How could I ever forget," said Miroku glumly, setting down the tray on a small table beside the bed. "I'm going out. There's some breakfast for you – I know you like to have it at this time of day, for some reason. (I mean every day? Don't you get tired of it?) I'll see you later today I guess, unless you're out with that true love of yours. Ciao." And he left, looking weary with the world. His stance puzzled Inu-yasha, who'd hardly ever seen him tired. Of course, everyone had to crash sometime.
He ate his breakfast slowly, thinking about things. "Souls change," Miroku had said once, and his parents had said something to that effect too, several times. But he'd been stubbornly set on finding Kagome again, no matter what. And he had found her, and she had turned out to be wonderful.
And yet... and yet... she had changed, a little. Some things about her were new, and there was something he missed, that naiveté that was part of the "old" Kagome. She was not exactly the Kagome he had known.
"I love Kagome," he had said just now, matter-of-factly. And that was true, he knew it was, but why did he?
'Ah, whatever. Does love have a reason? 'Course it doesn't.'
....................................."Good morning, Inu-yasha!" Kagome waved happily from her garden as Inu-yasha stepped outside. It was Sunday, two days since he'd been at the Roxy with Miroku. "Do you have a moment? There's something I want to tell you."
"Of course!" replied Inu-yasha with a grin. "Actually, I want to tell you something too."
"Come on over then!" Kagome pulled off her gardening gloves and waved her to him. "I've got some cordial, if you want. Gods, it's hot, isn't it?" Inu-yasha agreed, smiling at her cheerfulness, and jumped over the fence easily to join her at the garden table.
"OK, should you start or should I?" grinned Kagome.
"You start, please." Because I will tell you something that will determine the rest of my life. I will tell you about our past life.
"Alright." Kagome blushed and smiled, fidgeting with her gloves. "Oh dear, this feels weird. Well, Inu-yasha, I know we've only known each other for about half a year or something, but you're still one of my absolute closest friends. And that's why... well, we weren't actually going to tell anyone yet, but..." Inu-yasha watched her flushed, happy face and was aware of a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as, all of a sudden, he realized what she was about to say.
It was really over now, wasn't it?
"Inu-yasha... we're getting married. Me and Koga. It's not going to be for a while, but there was something... I mean, I thought you ought to know. And also I was wondering – since my dad is gone and mum doesn't really feel she can – if you'd like to give me away?"
Give her away? Give Kagome away to Koga? What cruel irony! 'Fate, what did I ever do to you, you twisted bastard?!' thought Inu-yasha bitterly, clenching his hand.
"Inu-yasha?" Kagome was looking at him, looking worried. He forced himself to smile.
"God, I'm going to have to think about that!" he said, his voice cheerful, oh so cheerful. "It came as a bit of shock, I must say. You know, I'm sorry but I'm really in a bit of a hurry. Can I catch up with you later?" He had risen to his feet, wanting nothing else than to get away as fast as possible.
"Sure..." Kagome was watching him with big, searching eyes, and the concern in those eyes made him want to break down and cry right there. "But wasn't there something you wanted to tell me, as well?"
"Nah, it was nothing important." It was getting painful to maintain the happy grin. "Another day, maybe. See you!" He turned, concentrating on not letting the despair engulf him, not yet. Just get away. Don't let Kagome see how you feel. Don't destroy this for her.
"Then it's true." Kagome spoke softly, behind him, making him halt. He turned back, puzzled, and saw Kagome standing next to the table, tears slowly running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"
As she started sobbing, hiding her face in her hands, Inu-yasha felt nothing but astonishment. Finally he reacted, walked back to her and put his arms around her, stroking her hair. Gradually she calmed down, stopped crying.
"I'm sorry," she said again, face hidden in his shoulder. "I realized who you are. You see, I dreamt this night, about the Feudal Era in Japan, and a jewel, and me and... and you. And I realized why it seemed I knew you, right from the start – because I did, right?" She looked up at him, and he nodded, silently. "So we lived a life together before. And this morning when I woke up, I understood everything you've ever said and done, it's been because..." She hesitated, but went on, "Because you love me."
"Yes." Inu-yasha closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry!" said Kagome fiercely. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Because now I know how hard it must have been for you, to meet Koga and hear me talk about him and everything. You really hated him, didn't you?" She didn't wait for an answer, but continued, "That's why I decided to tell you about the wedding, the sooner the better. I didn't want you to get hurt, but I knew you would, no matter what I did..." She had started crying again, and dried the tears away furiously with one hand. "I don't even know why I am crying, damnit! You ought to be the one crying!"
"I don't think I'll be able to cry yet," he said, smiling gently. Kagome gazed at him in silence.
"You do understand though, don't you?" she said finally, in a very small voice. "I know I loved you back then – I felt it, in my dream – but I can't do that now. Maybe I've changed, maybe Koga's changed, but the truth is that I really do love him. And nothing can change that. I'm – "
"Don't say you're sorry," Inu-yasha interrupted. "I'm happy for you, I truly am. I can't say that this is what I would have wished myself, but as long as you are happy, I must be happy, too."
"You're still my best friend," whispered Kagome.
"And you are mine." He bit his lip, fighting down the howl of misery that was threatening to engulf him. "But today, I think I want to be alone. I'm sorry for ruining your happy mood."
"That's OK," smiled Kagome, rubbing her fist across her eyes and stepping back from him. "I guess I'll see you later, if you can stand to be with me at all."
"Of course." Inu-yasha made himself smile at her one last time, then turned and walked towards his own house. He could feel her eyes on him all the way back, but made himself keep control until he was back inside. As he closed the door behind him, it seemed a black wave came crashing down on him, black with jealousy, rage and searing cold despair. He sank down on the floor, hugging himself tightly, without the energy even to cry.
And that's how Miroku found him when he came home, ten hours later.
.............................................elsiey: Sesshoumaru is not going to show up, sorry. I don't know, maybe Inu-yasha will run into him sometime, but if he does, Sesshoumaru won't recognize him. (I like him too, but there was no room for him in this story.) Oh, and good luck with the science project. ;)
AngeloflLight: Nah, this is not Inu-yasha/Kagome. (Poor baby, you gotta feel sorry for him...)
Kynomae24: Yeah, sorry if this story's been kind of slow... I don't know why, but I wanted a pretty quiet story.
Harei sky: I'm working on it. :)